Tanya Kazaryan

10/13/2014
Manipulation Essay

Manipulation, fueled with good intent, can be a blessing. But when used wickedly, it is the
beginning of a magician's karmic calamity.
T.F. Hodge, From Within I Rise: Spiritual Triumph Over Death and Conscious Encounters
with "The Divine Presence

If you really think about it, manipulation is something we are experiencing daily. People
are being manipulated everyday of their life; at work, school, and even home. Manipulation isnt
just making someone do something by lying to them, you can also manipulate a person by
bringing them to the point where they feel like they have nowhere else to go or nothing else to
do, but what youre advising/commanding them to do. Making people feel hopeless or like they
have nowhere else to go, can make them do a lot. What made me claim that were being
manipulated daily? Its simple. Look around you, if youre a student in a school, you are being
manipulated by your teachers. How? They tell you to do your work or else they will give you
unsatisfactory, sometimes they even threaten you by saying that theyre gonna call your parents
and warn them of your behavior, which IS manipulation. Using manipulation, a person can
control, create conflicts and ultimately change the victim of their manipulation.

There are many ways of manipulation. For example, when your parents tell you to do
what they want, and in most families you have to do it because where are you gonna go if they
kick you out? To your friends house? Ok, maybe for one night, but eventually youll have to

come back. Or not even kick you out, just simply take your gadgets away. So its either you do
what they ask, or get punished, which is another way of manipulating. You can also play on the
persons emotions by scaring the hell out of a person and then relieving their stress. After this
sudden mood change, the person probably wont be able to think straight, and more likely to do
whatever someone asks them to do. Another way is making you feel guilty and keep reminding
you about a thing you did in the past or someone did a favor for you and asks for one in
exchange. According to the article Understanding the many faces of domestic violence, there
are many ways of manipulating others; fear, poverty, religion, children, isolation, love and hope.
I can certainly agree with what have been said in this article as stated, People who abuse almost
always threaten their partners., which is often true.

There is a lack of internal conflict within the individual. Instead its all about creating
conflict and stirring it up in others. Sooner or later the person will find out that he was being
manipulated and lied to, which would bring to a conflict. In Othello, the conflict was created
because of Iago, he manipulated Othello which led Othello to kill the love of his life and then kill
himself. An example of Iago trying to manipulate Othello would be, Oh, beware, my lord, of
jealousy! It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock. The meat it feeds on. That cuckold lives
in bliss, Who, certain of his fate, loves not his wronger, But, oh, what damnd minutes tells he
o'er. Who dotes, yet doubts suspects, yet soundly loves! This quote tells us that Iago is
making Othello afraid and overprotective by telling him that he should watch out. As stated in
the article Understanding the many faces of domestic violence, We want people - men and
women - to learn the warning signs of abuse, and to speak up when they see them.----These
behaviors are often followed by apologies and promises to change, but few abusers ever really
believe they have done anything wrong. It shows that most of the time people dont change,
which leads to conflicts and depressions.

Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than
about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be
vulnerable.
Joyce Brothers

In my opinion, this quote can be related to Othello. If Iago stopped manipulating Othello,
Othello and Desdemona would have a strong, loving relationship. Instead, Iagos manipulation
came in between and ruined everything.

Manipulation can make a powerful impact on someones life. Manipulation is not the
same as influence, we use influence with other people to advance our goals. Manipulation, on the
other hand, depends on deception and an attempt to intimidate another person into giving in.
When we allow another person to manipulate us, we are colluding with their desire to control our
feelings, motives, and even our thoughts through deceptive, exploitative, and unfair means.
People that are being manipulated will change because of something they might have done in the
process. For example, in a book Othello by William Shakespeare, Iago manipulated Othello and
made him kill the woman he loved with all his heart by making him think that she cheated on
him, and after realizing that it was all a lie and Desdemona didnt cheat on him, Othello then
killed himself because he couldnt live knowing what heve done. Something that shows that
Othello had changed would be, Thats he that was Othello. Here I am. By that Othello meant
that the person who used to be him is gone (the loving and not easily made jealous), instead he
became easily jealous and very emotional. There are a lot of other situations when people change
after being manipulated.

We are all vulnerable to being manipulated in relationships, whether between romantic

partners, friends, parents or children. Even though it may appear that the manipulator is strong
and in control, there is usually insecurity under the facade. Which often can give YOU the power
and fight against the manipulator, since usually the manipulator is hiding insecurity under the
facade. There are some ways of avoiding manipulation, like simply ignoring him/her or tricking

that person by making him/her think that their manipulation works, but in reality it doesnt. But
before you learn how to avoid manipulation, you need to know the signs of manipulation. Lying,
blaming, and using shame to control you; those are signs of manipulation. If youve ever been
lied to so the person can get what he/she wants, blamed for something you didnt do or did a long
time ago or someone used blame to control you, then you are being manipulated so you should
watch out and take control of yourself.

In conclusion, I feel like manipulation made a huge impact on our society and changed
our world, certainly not in a good way. People became more evil and aggressive, when theyre
manipulating successfully they feel more powerful. People should avoid manipulation because
its like a drug, once you try it, you get addicted and you dont want to stop.

-Shakespeare, W. (2003). Othello (J. Crowther, Ed.). New York: Spark Publishing.
-Schneider, Elizabeth, Cheryl Hanns, Emily Sack, and Judith Greenberg, (2013). Domestic
-The Republican Editorials and Monica Moran, Guest viewpoint: Understanding the many faces
of domestic violence