Wenjun&Xiong& & & & & & & & & & & & & & &

& & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & Shanghai&Jiao&Tong&University& &
&

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My ambition to study public health was first triggered by a professor who is currently establishing

Deleted:(came to the realization

a health management company. Through conversations with him, I realized that medical

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professionals tend to place too much focus on prescribing drugs while neglecting to help patients

Deleted:(there is an existing tendency of

correctly use medicine in conjunction with maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I have observed that

scientists

many of my peers suffer from insomnia and gastrointestinal issues due to unbalanced lifestyles.

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Furthermore, I have become increasingly aware of the appalling conditions many are faced with

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due to insufficient levels of medical care in underprivileged areas. This has led me to recognizing

Author

the potential and value of public health as a field with a positive impact on a global scale.

Comment([1]:(Lifestyle&is&one&word.&

...&[1]

Author

My suitability for the field of public health was identified and solidified by my internship at Novo

Comment([2]:(Scientists&can&be&researchers&

Nordisk Pharmaceuticals Co., Ltd. As an education specialist assistant, I communicated directly

involved&in&drug&development,&but&they&often&

with diabetics, and provided them with meaningful medical information while teaching them how

only&hold&a&Ph.D.,&and&are&unable&to&prescribe&

to correctly inject insulin. Due to their advanced age and minimal knowledge of diabetes, I

medicine.&Medical&professionals/doctors&do&

utilized simple language to effectively explain how to prevent complications, and provided

have&the&ability&to&prescribe&medicine,&but&

answers to their many questions. I also helped organize educational activities to further increase

only&a&subset&of&this&group&also&does&

their knowledge of the disease. I recall one of my patients saying, If you hadnt informed me of

laboratory&research&or&drug&development.&I&

the danger of complications and methods of keeping a healthy lifestyle, perhaps I wouldnt have

clarified&the&statement&here&to&reflect&this.&
...&[2]

been concerned about my blood sugar and would have ended up sick. This made me realize that

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managing our health by detecting the signs of diseases and curbing their development early on is

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more important and effective than using drugs to mask the issue. This is exactly what I aspire to

Author

do. Thus, I hope to improve health conditions worldwide by applying the knowledge I have gained

Comment([3]:(Edited&for&cohesiveness.&

in my studies to clinical practice.

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Throughout the course of my undergraduate studies, I had been exposed to various branches of
pharmacy. I took many chemistry and biology courses in order to build my foundation and further
understand human physiological anatomy and drug mechanisms of action. Furthermore,
experimental courses on the synthesis and analysis of drugs enabled me to develop greater
operational ability and planning skills. In order to increase my competence in management, I took
a management course and independently learned health management. In addition, I use the
Coursera platform to connect me with updates of available open courses, such as Health Literacy
and Data Management in Clinical Research. The more skills I gain, the more my enthusiasm and
dedication to the pursuit of public health as my field of choice is reaffirmed.
--30 min
Aside from my regular coursework, I spent time performing medical research. In my first year of
university, I assisted Dr. Zixiu Du with a project based on the DNA delivery of Polycarbam-SP as
a biological switch. I collaborated with my classmates in designing the structure of the polymer
and processed data related to its size and electrical potential. As a result, we discovered a new trait
of PEG-Polycarbam-SP which can benefit drug delivery. Subsequently, my interest was piqued by
the biopharm program where I worked as an assistant at the Antibody Engineering Center.
Through this independent work experience based on the process of protein (CXCL9) purification,
I acquired insight into molecular biology analysis methods and suggested using diatomaceous

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Deleted:(end

Author
Comment([4]:(This&is,&by&definition,&an&efficacy&
issue.&

...&[3]

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Deleted:(efficient

Author
Comment([5]:(This&is&more&ambitious.&Also,&
original&wording&was&awkward.&

...&[5]

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Deleted:(my plan is to change my major and
apply

...&[4]

Author
Comment([6]:(Clarified&this&entire&sentence&to&

earth as an absorbent to absorb the Si-tag recombinant protein. This experience enabled me

ensure&that&the&clients&goals&are&obvious.&
...&[7]

develop

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patience and reasoning skills, and familiarized me with the process necessary to

successfully complete an academic program.

Deleted:( so as to improve the health

circumstances of people in need of it.

&

...&[6]

Wenjun&Xiong& & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & & Shanghai&Jiao&Tong&University& &
&

Author

My keen interest for public health led me to directing my focus to the mental health of university
students. During my time working at a psychological counseling center, I delegated a team of over
40 people to recruit professional volunteers to help solve mental issues around campus. I also
facilitated opportunities to help ease the pressure on students by creating a new style of
experimental training. Through hosting psychological lectures, I acquired various methods of
maintaining high levels of optimism and attempted to solve daily problems students faced by
using these methods. I encouraged my team to recruit 200 students to take part in The Beauty of

Comment([7]:(Consistent&with&Standard&
Edited&American&English.&

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Deleted:(centre

Author
Comment([8]:(First&word&must&be&capitalized&
in&titles.&

Smiles campaign and spread a positive message across campus. This creative endeavor enabled

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me to keep an open mind and empathize with the situations and views of others, which I deem to

Deleted:(the

be important characteristics of a medical professional.

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Deleted:(Smilemiles campaign and spread
...&[8]

During my exchange program at the Georgia Institute of Technology last summer, I was amazed

Author

by the medical system in America. I had accompanied a friend to a clinic for treatment of a

Comment([9]:(Plural&because&others&will&
...&[9]

purulent wound. We were surprised by the long pages of questions regarding past history and

Author

related symptoms. I was informed that America has a very solid and personalized medical care

Comment([10]:(This&decreases&wordiness&and&
...&[11]

system that assists people in managing their health. My hope is to apply Americas advanced

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medical care system in China to prompt a potentially huge reformation of the existing health care

Deleted:(forf a medical worker to have.

...&[10]

system. In contrast to Americas stable medical system, China is now facing a revolutionary

Author

situation with an unprecedented tensional buildup between doctors and patients. Due to inflated

Comment([11]:(Location.&

medical expenses and treatment failure of serious illnesses, patients are emotional and distrustful

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of doctors. However, it is also a time of great potential for the development of the public health

Deleted:(with

field.

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Deleted:(found myself

In the future, my plan is to work as a health consultant and create new methods of enabling the

Author

public to manage their own health, as they do their own finances. In the long-term, my hope is to

Comment([12]:(I&actually&work&for&the&

establish my own health management business to meet public health needs and offer personalized

Author

health advisory services by making full use of my academic and professional experiences. My
primary goal is to empower people to value their health and develop a better quality of life, rather
than simply exist.
I am now taking this important step in the pursuit of my goals by applying to your graduate
program. The University of Michigan has an innovative and professional competency-based
curriculum to help me develop a global vision. Your institution exudes purpose and action with its
advanced research and abundant resources that can aid me in my goal to become a qualified health
manager. I believe your M.P.H. program is the perfect platform to fulfill my ambitions.
Additionally, my academic background in pharmacy, along with my empathetic nature and
problem-solving skills, will make a great contribution to your program.

...&[12]

Comment([13]:(Being&+&verb&structure&is&a&
...&[13]

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Deleted:(being alive

Author
Comment([14]:(Reduce&wordiness.&

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Deleted:(the ability to provide me with

Author
Comment([15]:(Clearer&statement.&

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Deleted:(and enableo help me with

...&[14]

Author
Comment([16]:(Either&write&M.P.H.&or&MPH&

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Deleted:(

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Deleted:(ambition
&