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Aubry Russell

Group Topic: Love, Intimacy, and Sexuality

Goals: To have group members discuss issues with one another instead of talking
with me. I would like to see a little spirit in their debates.

I. Take Attendance (2 min): Note all members present and mark those who are
absent/ tardy.
a. Go around the room, state their name, and list at least three things/ people they
II. Discussion Question(15 min): Ally McGraw famously quoted Love means
never having to say youre sorry. What does love mean to you?
b. How many different types of love do you think exist between people? (Mother to
her child, husband to his wife etc)
c. Are there certain types of love that have a tendency to fade away? If it fades, was
it truly love in the first place?
d. Is love at first sight a real phenomenon or did fairytales and movie directors
invent it?
aa. Has the media given society an unrealistic expectation for love or do movies get
their inspiration from real life?
e. Is love truly blind?

III. Discussion Question (15 min): A man's wife has more power over him than
the state has.- Ralph Waldo Emerson.
a. How has the sanctity of marriage changed over the last century? Are there
improvements? Deteriorations?
b. Some argue that they do not need a piece of paper to prove that they love
someone. How do you feel about the expression of love through marriage?
c. What do you think are some reasons why the divorce rate is so high compared to
fifty years ago?
d. Is there a minimum amount of time a couple should be together before they
decide to get married? (one year, two years etc.)
e. If your family did not approve of the person you loved and wanted to marry,
would you think twice or go ahead?
f. Has the growing casualness of sex ruined the legitimacy of marriage?
g. Do you think it is important to find out before marriage whether or not you and
your partner connect sexually?
IV. Actvity (10 min): SOULmates- is what is on the inside all that matters?
A stack of index cards containing attributes many people look for in their significant
other will be placed on the table. Each member will grab two that they find
important (humor, caring, generous etc.). I expect there to be a little squabble for
the cards. When the members return to their seat, they will flip the card over and
less than ideal attribute (balding, obnoxious laugh, bad breath etc.) will be on the
back. They must choose whether they will learn to live with this for the next fifty
years or if they want to pick a less important quality in hopes of trading up.

The purpose of this activity is to show how much our society focuses on

looks. When people describe their ideal mate, looks are usually one of the first
things they list. I want to show the group that looks have a small influence on
Follow up question: How important are looks over a personal quality?
a. Can you be in love with someone you are not attracted to?
b. At what point do looks outweigh qualities?
c. How far would go to compromise for personal qualities?
d. Would a society in which looks were not a focus be a happier one?

V. Discussion Question (10 min): Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting
two bodies. -Aristotle
a. Do you believe in soul mates?
b. Some people believe that one has multiple soul mates in the world. Do you agree
with this or think a person only has one?
c. Do you think people know right away when they have met their soul mate or is it
a realization over time?
d. Are soul mates meant to last forever or only for a brief period of time? (example-
Jack and Rose Titanic)
e. Does everyone have a soul mate or is true love a rare oddity?
f. When it comes to love, do you think people have to make their own luck (dating
websites, blind dates, etc.) or will fate bring them together in any scenario?

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