Running head: Gender Communication Differences in the Workplace

Gender Communication Differences in the Workplace

Ashley Abeling
University of Kentucky

Running head: Gender Communication Differences in the Workplace

Introduction
Men and women differ greatly in the way they communicate and this is especially true in
the workplace. Men and womens brains are wired to process and respond to situations
differently. These differences can easily cause conflict in the workplace making it an uneasy and
sometimes stressful environment. When you realize these contrasting views and try to
understand and better the way you communicate according to whom you are speaking to it will
help to improve the effectiveness of the conversation. Men and women differ mostly in the way
they view relationships, how they interact with others-specifically in how they handle conflicts
and make decisions, the ways in which they listen, and their non-verbal communication skills.
Relationships with Coworkers
When analyzing the communication between men and women it is easy to notice that
they view relationships with coworkers differently. Men mostly focus on power and getting
ahead in his job. Most of his conversations will revolve around facts and reasoning while being
very concise and to the point (Leigh, 2010). Men view relationships as a social status and use
them as a way of seeming important and well known. They use the relationships they create to
gain power and rank because that is what society tells them should be the most important. When
a man enters the workplace, he assumes that it is a competitive environment. As Crowley and
Elster (2013) said it best, men experience work as a forum for applying their skills, delivering
results and beating their competitors (3). This further explains how men see their inter
workplace relationships as rivals and a threat to their positions causing them to constantly feel
the need to get a competitors edge over them, which can easily lead to conflict within these
relationships.

Running head: Gender Communication Differences in the Workplace

However, women view relationships very differently in the workplace. She sees
relationships as a way to express feelings and desires to connect with others. Women create
relationships with the end goal of having long lasting friendships. Women tend to be team
players and want the best for everyone involved. They are focused on compassion and team
bonding as they highly value supporting and rewarding their coworkers (Gannon, 2012). It is not
unusual for women take things to heart and invest in their workplace relationships emotionally
and genuinely try to connect with others. They view their coworkers as more than just the
people who work in the cubical beside me but as important friends to them. Women also bond
differently than men do. They create friendships by exchanging (what may be superficial)
compliments that reveal a deeper message of wanting to connect and be compatible with by
socially establishing a partnership (Crowley & Elster, 2013).
Interactions with Others
Making Decisions
Men and women also differ extremely when handling conflict and making decisions.
Men are usually more assertive and make rash decisions without fully weighing out all of their
options when faced with an important decision. According to Uman (2004), men usually dont
feel its necessary to check with others before deciding and taking action(7). When they make
decisions, men usually arent particularly concerned with the affect on everyone involved but
mainly on their personal gain and how they will benefit from the situation. They are more
comfortable giving orders to or making decisions for women, and sometimes for men who they
believe are beneath them in the social ladder. A large factor that plays into this type of decision
making that most men possess is confidence in their abilities. They believe that their way is the

Running head: Gender Communication Differences in the Workplace

best way and rarely feel the need to consult others, which sometimes causes women to feel
dismissed for their ideas (Mackey, 2013).
Women on the other hand, usually weigh out every ounce of their options when making a
decision. They usually consult multiple people before confirming their decision and acting on it
(Uman, 2004). Women tend to seek the opinions of others in order to form their own. Most
women would rather input their
opinions to others ideas in order
to create a general consensus
rather than make the decision by
themself. When faced with a
choice, women usually respond
with a question that sounds much
like, Well, what do you think we should do? or, Does this sound like a good idea to you?
before stating her opinion. However, women believe that their questions are the best
contributions to the decisions because it creates the environment needed in order to stimulate the
exchange of opinions in order to make a general agreement and arrive at the most pleasing result
(Evans, 2014). Generally, what I have found is that women are more comfortable with
persistently imputing their own opinions into others ideas in order to create a more cohesive
environment, rather than ruling large decisions independently.
Handling Conflict
Men also handle conflict in the workplace in a unique way. They tend to argue more and
sometimes even do it as a way to look more powerful. Men think it is interesting to disagree and
see different views of thinking on a certain topic, but they usually dont take these different

Running head: Gender Communication Differences in the Workplace

opinions into consideration when handling the conflict (Uman, 2004). Men have an advantage
over women when disagreeing in the workplace because they dont feel it is threating to their
job, whereas women do and will back down easier. When men handle conflict they are very
direct about their opinions and tend to shy away from asking questions about the opinions of
others (Thiederman, n.d.). However, when men are challenged for their opinions, they tend to
withdraw easier than women and quickly become uncomfortable with the situation (Evans,
2104). Overall, when men handle conflict they tend to do so individually rather than collectively
as a team, this isnt so much because they are only concerned with their opinions but because this
is their preferred way of approaching disagreements.
Women handle conflict very differently than men do (if they handle it at all). It is no
secret that women tend to shy away from any sort of disagreement, especially in the workplace
where the same people will surround her day after day (she wouldnt want to sacrifice any of
those relationships.) Women see arguments as a threat to their relationships and position, and
therefore try to avoid them at all costs. However, when they are faced with conflict, women seek
others to find support of her opinion to add to her team and then strengthens her argument by
saying we think this is the best way rather than I and this also redirects the disagreement
from just her to others as well (Evans, 2014). Generally, women would rather be unhappy with
them than be unhappy with others, or even worse having someone unhappy with her; and
therefore tend to give up pieces of their argument in order to end the disagreement. They are
usually more willing to be cooperative and self-sacrifice for the good of others.
Listening Skills
Men and women have extremely different listening skills. Men listen to others to solve
problems. When they hear something, they immediately start analyzing it in their heads, and try

Running head: Gender Communication Differences in the Workplace

to figure out how it can be by giving the most direct and concise reasoning (Uman, 2004). Men
are very active listeners and focus on what your reason for communication is which allows for
them to make decisions quickly and move forward faster. Realizing this will help you understand
why men have very little patience for those who ramble on and on about a topic and include
unnecessary details (Black, 2014). When communicating with a man it is important to be direct
and leave it up to him to ask questions about the minute details if he is still confused or curious.
When men listen and respond it is usually a straightforward process, while with women it can be
a very confusing and extended process causing communication confusion between the two.
Women on the other hand,
tend to listen to others to gain a
sense of understanding and to be
able to relate to others (Uman,
2004). In conversation, a woman is
usually analyzing your every word
while making mental notes in order to come up with a plan of action. This tends to make the
decision making process a bit slower for women in order for them to reach the best possible
outcome. She also sees listening as a way to maintain relationships. This is why women are
usually people-oriented listeners and connect emotionally and can read through others
undertones in conversations (Black, 2014).
Nonverbal Communication
When communicating with men and women, you may notice that their non-verbal skills
are very different, but play a crucial role in the way that they communicate. Non-verbal
communication differences can include their gestures, facial expressions, proximity, and

Running head: Gender Communication Differences in the Workplace

touching. Men tend to shake hands when greeting others, and lack eye contact and facial
movement as the conversation progresses. They usually stand shoulder-to-shoulder to show
agreement and face-to-face when they have aggression towards the other (Levit, 2013). Men are
also usually uncomfortable with close body proximity and shy away from making physical
contact while conversing, especially with other men (Carnes, 2014).
Women are on the complete opposite spectrum when it comes to nonverbal
communication. Women are very inviting and it is not rare that they will greet others with a hug
and warm smile. Women stand face-to-face to show engagement and shoulder-to-shoulder when
disengaged. In work settings, women tend to make themselves seem smaller, while men make
their presence known in a room (Levit, 2013). Women tend to express their feelings with their
facial expressions and how they use their eyes. When upset they may glare and if they are being
confronted they tend to lower their gaze. However, women highly value eye contact when
conversing, and the lack of it can cause them to think you are disinterested (Carnes, 2014).
Women want to feel connected to you in everyway possible when communicating so they dont
shy away from physical contact and usually appreciate the sense of friendship.
Conclusion
Men and women have very different and unique ways of communication. Mostly as
stated before, they differ in their relationships and how they view them as a gain of power or a
sense of belonging, how they interact with others, especially how they handle conflict and make
decisions, their ways of listening in a straightforward or extended way, and how they
communicate non-verbally with their gestures, facial expressions, proximity, and touch. In order
for communication to run smoothly in the workplace, it is important to pay attention to all of the

Running head: Gender Communication Differences in the Workplace

minute details men and women incorporate into their communication styles in order to feel
connected.

Running head: Gender Communication Differences in the Workplace

References
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Uman, K. (2004). Cross-Gender Communication Differences. Retrieved from http://www.exe

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