First performed 12 December 1993 20:00 GMT on #Hamnet
copyright 1993 The Hamnet Players, San Diego, CA all enquiries to: hn2563@handsnet.org /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ THE COMPLETE SCRIPT........OFFICIAL SOUVENIR EDITION /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ <audience> rhubarb... *The_Curtain rises to reveal the stage set... <_Set> : <_Set> ______* ______* *______ *______ <_Set> < | < | | > | > <_Set> <______| <______| |______> |______> <_Set> | | | <_Set> ^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^ <_Set> | + | | + | | + | | + | <_Set> | + |________| + |________| + |________| + | <_Set> | <_Set> | + + + + + + + | <_Set> |___ ___| <_Set> | + + + + + | <_Set> | | <_Set> | + + __________ + + | <_Set> | |########| | <_Set> / | + + |########| + + |\. <_Set> / | | | | \ <_Set> / |_____________________| |||||| |_____________________| . \. <_Set> / . . . |||||| . .\. <_Set> _______________________________ |||||| ______________________________ <_Set> <_Set> W E L C O M E T O E L S I N O R E!!! <_Set> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <_Set> <audience> Clap, clap, clap... etc... ** Topic changed to "IRC Hamlet In Progress" by PROLOGUE. <PROLOGUE> All the world's a Unix term... <PROLOGUE> ...and all the men & women merely IRC addicts... <PROLOGUE> This show is Copyright 1993 The Hamnet Players <PROLOGUE> Enjoy our show + no heckling plz <PROLOGUE> Script has been restaged without permission <_Set> SCENE 1: THE BATTLEMENTS ** Hamlet joined the channel. ** Ghost joined the channel. <Hamlet> re, Ghost. Zup? <Ghost> Ur uncle's fucking ur mum. I'm counting on u to /KICK the bastard. ** Mode change "+o Hamlet" on channel #Hamnet by Ghost <Hamlet> Holy shit!!!! Don't op me, man!!!! I've gotta think abt this, + I've go t chem lab in 1/2 hr. :( **<< Action >>** : _Exit Hamlet [15] **<< Action >>** : SCENE 2: AFTER HAMLET'S CHEM LAB [16] <Hamlet> 2b or not 2b... [17] <Hamlet> Hmmmmmm... [18] <Hamlet> :-( Bummer... [19] <Hamlet> Ooops, here comes Ophelia **<< Action >>** : _Enter Ophelia <Ophelia> Here's ur stuff back <Hamlet> Not mine, love. Hehehehehe ;-D <Ophelia> O heavenly powers: restore him! *Ophelia thinks Hamlet's nuts
<Hamlet> Make that "sanity-deprived", plz...
<Hamlet> Oph: suggest u /JOIN #nunnery <Ophelia> :-( *** Signoff: Ophelia (drowning) **<< Action >>** : SCENE 3: INTERIOR [30] **<< Action >>** : _Enter R_krantz [31] **<< Action >>** : _Enter G_stern [32] <R_krantz> re [33] <G_stern> re [34] <Hamlet> re, guys... :-\ [35] <R_krantz> zup? [36] <Hamlet> Fucked if i know. brb... [37] **<< Action >>** : _Exit Hamlet in a sulk. [38] <G_stern> fuckza matter w/him? [39] <R_krantz> Guess he must be lagged. Let's lurk [40] **<< Action >>** : R_krantz lurks [41] **<< Action >>** : G_stern lurks [42] **<< Action >>** : SCENE 4: THE QUEEN'S CLOSET [43] <Hamlet> Ma: what the fuck's going on? [44] <Queen> Don't flame me, i'm yr Ma! [45] <Queen> Er.... [46] <Prompter> Psst! Thou hast thy father much offended.. [47] <Queen> Oh, right.... Yr dad's pissed at u [48] **<< Action >>** : Hamlet slashes at the arras [49] <Polonius> Arrrghhhh!!! [50] ========= HAMLET /KICK * Polonius [51] *** Polonius has been kicked off channel #Hamnet by Hamlet <Queen> Now look what u've done u little nerd. :-( [52] <Hamlet> Wrong man...... Bummer... [53] **<< Action >>** : SCENE 5: GRUESOME FINALE [54] ========= QUEEN /TOPIC DEATH [55] *** Queen has changed the topic on channel #Hamnet to "DEATH" **<< Action >>** : _Enter Hamlet, Queen, King, Laertes, R_krantz, G_stern [56] **<< Action >>** : Queen takes a drink [57] **<< Action >>** : King gives Ham & Laer swords [58] <King> Go for it, lads! [59] **<< Action >>** : Laertes stabs Hamlet [60] **<< Action >>** : Hamlet stabs Laertes [61] **<< Action >>** : Hamlet stabs King [62] <Queen> Holy shit this Danish vodka is like poison :-@ [63] <Hamlet> and u always thought i was just wasting my time in chem lab, hehehe [64 ] **<< Action >>** : Queen dies in agony [65] <King> Aaaaarrgghhh! [66] **<< Action >>** : King dies [67] <Laertes> AAaaaarrrrrrhhhhh!!!! [68] **<< Action >>** : Laertes dies [69] <Hamlet> AAAAaaaaaarrrrrrhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [70] **<< Action >>** : Hamlet dies [71] **<< Action >>** : R_krantz + G_stern GULP!!!!!! [72] **<< Action >>** : _Enter Fortinbras + drum + colours + attendants [73] <Fort_bras> EEEEEEEuuuuuucchhhhhh!!!!!! What's been hpng here? [74] <Drum> Like, rat-a-tat, man [75] <Colours> Hmmmmmmm...... [76] <Attndts> Holy sheeeeet!!!!! [77] ============ FORT_BRAS /NICK _King [78] ** Fort_bras is now knwn as _King