Tausug Cultural and Traditional Marriage

Marriages on Jolo proceed almost entirely according to Tausug customary and Islamic law. The
influence of Philippine national law is negligible. Although the right of Muslim minorities to
utilize their own procedures in matters of marriage and divorce is recognized by Philippine statute,
it is impossible for the government to effectively police anything in rural areas. Occasionally,
however, individual Tausug will utilize the conflict between the two legal systems to their own
advantage, as when a father cynically files charges of kidnapping against his daughter's abductor,
or an unhappy first wife charges her husband with bigamy. But such situations are rare.
Tausug recognize three distinct transactions leading to a legally binding marriage: arranged
marriage by negotiation (pagpangasawa), marriage by abduction (pagsaggau), and elopement
(pagdakup). In the rural community where I lived for two years, about 70% of marriages were
arranged, 25% were abductions, and less than 5% elopements. The distinction between an
arranged marriage, an abduction, and an elopement revolves around the question of who is said to
desire the marriage. An arranged marriage is said to be the desire of the parents who negotiate it.
An abduction, either by actual force or through legal fiction, said to be the desire of the groom.
Elopement is always said to be the desire of the woman. Things get complicated though, because it
often happens that a couple actually elope, but make it look like an abduction to avoid "shaming"
the girl.
The bridewealth, or ungsud, literally means "that which is given in payment." Ideally it is a
transfer from the usba (patrilineal kin) of the boy to the usba of the girl. In practice, the mother's
kindred (waris) are also involved, although Tausug like to emphasize the primacy of the usba
because it can be more closely derived from orthodox Islamic doctrine. Any kinsman of the girl
can also demand some part of the bridewealth, although it is considered bad form to make a
demand if one has not contributed in some way to the upbringing of the girl. The bridewealth is
given from the savings of the young man himself, as well as that of his parents. Other kinsmen and
friends contribute amounts proportionate to their relationship, their capacity to give, and specific
ties of reciprocity which bind them to the man's family. In a typical marriage, twenty or thirty
persons, usually representing nuclear families, may contribute. In the marriage of a higher status

person or political leader the number may be much greater. Contributors related to both sides
usually make their contributions to the young man, unless they are close relations (first cousins or
closer) of the bride.
The bridewealth has several constituent parts, which are often negotiated separately, and have
different meanings:
1. Dalaham pagapusan (`valuables for the offspring"). Money or an animal intended for use
of the couple, which must not be slaughtered at the marriage feast. It will not be returned
on divorce if children have been born.
2. Dalaham hug a tawid ("valuables dropped in the ocean"). Valuables intended for the girl's
father.
3. Basingan. Intended as an explicit payment for the transference of kinship rights to the male
side (usba) Preferably an antique gold or silver Spanish or American coin.
4. Sikawin Baytal-mal ("payment to the treasury"). A payment to the legal officials and
religious leaders who sanction the marriage. In the past a part was delivered to the Sultan.
5. Specific demands for particular members of the girl's kindred. In richer and less traditional
families this may involve modern items such as radios, televisions, guns, jeeps, appliances,
etc.
6. Musicians and entertainers for the wedding. Sometimes specific performers are requested.
7. Costs of the wedding feast: rice, animals for slaughter, cooking oil, cigarettes, candy, etc.
The Wedding
The length of the "engagement" is greatly variable. In some cases, usually second marriage, the
formal marriage ceremony may proceed a few days later. It is longest when the girl is under age
and has not yet menstruated, although it is possible to "marry in a handkerchief" (kawin ha
saputangan) in which the ceremony with the underage girl proceeds, the boy goes to live with his

parents-in-law but does not have intercourse with the girl until she has come of age. The Tausug
practice a form of bride service in which the young man does minor chores (fetching water, caring
for animals, etc.) for his parents-in-law, during which they can observe his conduct, While bride
service is not always required, it does constitute an obligation on the young man which is strong
enough to be a possible motive for choosing the alternate means of abduction, in which prior bride
service is obviously not expected.
The formal marriage ceremony takes place at the house of the woman, and is framed according to
Islamic law as a sacred contract between the young man and the girl's father. The marriage
festivities involve a large number of kith and kin from both sides and are generally an all-day
affair. On the day prior to the wedding, the groom's side delivers the entire bridewealth; any
deviation from the formal demands is grounds to break off the engagement. Preparations for the
marriage begin very early the next morning in both houses. Kinsmen, friends, and guests of the
couple will gather during the morning at the respective houses. A cow or water buffalo will usually
be slaughtered; there will be xylophone or gong music performed by professional musicians, with
considerable merrymaking, conversation, and eating. A feast is prepared, consisting of curried
meat, rice, fruits, sweets and coffee. Men and women, of course, eat separately. Guests include not
only the immediate kinsmen and neighbors of the couple, but also distant political or military
allies.
Courtship
A variety of kublit-kublit called "groping in the dark" (kap-kap) occurs when a young man staying
overnight in the one-roomed Tausug house, makes an advance for an unmarried woman of the
household. If she likes him nothing will happen so long as they are not discovered and she not
become pregnant (in which case marriage would be obligatory), Occasionally parents may pretend
to be asleep in to avoid a public scandal. On the other hand, if the girl screams or otherwise
refuses, he will be fined if he does not wish to marry her. It is considered shameful for a girl to be
touched in this way, even if sexual intercourse did not occur, although only if the act is discovered.

(PDF, Muslim of the Philippines (Tausug) Marriages on Jolo Island)