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Logan Leonhardt
UWRT 1102
Mrs. Grant
04-09-2015
Same-sex Parenting
As every human knows, times are changing. The world, as we know it, is evolving into a
much different world than we knew before. Crime rates are increasing everywhere, wars are
breaking out in many countries but one major movement that is happening across the world and
in America is a very controversial one, The Human Rights Movement. Same-sex marriage is
being legalized and recognized in many countries and states now and there are many after effects
that occurred. One of the most looked at and controversial effect was the increase in lesbian, gay,
Bisexual, and Trans-gender (LGBT) parents across the country.
Same-sex or LGBT parenting would not be as prominent if marriage laws would not have
passed. Times started to change in dramatically when on May 17, 2004, the first gay marriage
occurred in Maine. Since then, 37 states have overturned the same-sex marriage ban and thirteen
have yet to overturn the ban. Many of the over rulings have recently come within the past twelve
months in states like North Carolina, South Carolina, Alabama, Indiana, Illinois and Virginia.
(Procons) This was such a big move for the transformation and diversity of families. This new
era of marriage rights have allowed many LGBT couples adopt children or have them out of
surrogacy jointly, unlike before when only one of the partners could, on paper, be the legal

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guardian. This gives same-sex parents and families a more traditional feel, but what is the
difference between traditional and same-sex parenting other than the obvious gender contrast?
Many questions and concerns arise when trying to distinguish the potential differences
between the two types of families. For example, one may ask what affects does being raised by
either two males or two females play on the children? What roles do the parents take on? How
does society in general play a role in the life of the family? Is the love that the parents show more
or less than that of straight parents? There is plenty of evidence that will answer all of the
concerns that many people seem to have with LGBT families.
Yes, we are different. I don't want to pretend we're just like two straight parents. It
doesn't mean we're better or worse - you simply have to judge us as people. (Gillespie and
Kaeser 19) Alix, who was interviewed by Gillespie in the book Love Makes a Family goes on to
explain that they love their child just as much as any other parent does. Alix also goes on to talk
about how she felt so much endearment for her son from the moment she seen him at birth. All
humans have a trait for love, everyone is born with it, so why should the fact that two people of
the same gender raising a child could alter the love and attention toward the child? The love for
something totally depends on the person, not whether he or she is straight, gay, bi, or transgender.
As for society and their thoughts on same-sex parenting, Doug Robinson who was
interviewed in Love Makes a Family explained that most of society does not really bother
them or give them a hard time for being a so called different family. Those people in society
who make it point to call out and criticize these families are essentially ignored so that they can
live a life as a family that is just as normal as any other ideal family would want. As for being

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outside of the home, either at school or anywhere in public, the children could be bullied for
either having two dads or two moms. The way society is today, it could drive anyone insane.
Even though a lot of emphasis is put on the LGBT community, there are many other events and
problems that take the criticism away from it. Why should society be a factor if many other
things are going on around the world that is far more important than LGBT families?
If a stranger comes up to us an asks where the mommy is in our family, it is our duty to
correct them an tell them openly that there is no mommy in our family. Our kids are watching, no
matter how young they are. To date, this method has worked very well.
No one has reacted Negatively to a family with just two dads. - Michael Galluccio (Gillespie
110)
Politics play an enormous role in Human Rights and Gay Rights. Most rights that the
LGBT community gains has to go through State Senates and passed by governors and on the
national level it has to go through the house and then the president. In fact, the governor for
Indiana, Mike Pence, just signed the Religious Freedom Bill that means anyone can refuse
service to gay, lesbian, and trans-gender folks. This has caused uproar in the United States of
America. It's bills like this that discriminates against the LGBT community that make it so much
harder for families that have gay or lesbian parents. Human rights are rights for a reason, thats
why they are not to be voted on in any country.
There are some spots in America that is considered a hate zone for gays. For example,
the Bible Belt, which includes most the Southeastern United States, is known for one of the most
religious areas in America. I grew up in the Bible Belt in Nashville, Tennessee and my best

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friend was raised by two dads. We both went to a private Christian school on the south side of
the city. The family in which he grew up in never experienced any hate from anyone. The school
we attended had a no hate or discrimination policy. Therefore, not all religious affiliations
condemn same-sex marriage or families. This proves that no matter where these families live in
America, they will find some social support to help them through.
Another area known for resistance against gays is in the Midwest states which include
Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Iowa, Missouri, Nebraska and many more. It is a much greater safety
issues in these areas for the whole family, but mostly for the children who grow up in todays
society. Don't think there's not hatred everywhere else because there is, it is just far more hidden
and less likely to see. Prejudice is still alive toward this community because people are afraid of
what they do not know. These people have a hard time considering gays and lesbians as
individuals. Every same-sex parent family has more than likely had a few comments in
opposition to their family but LGBT families are much more stronger than most people would
believe. A few comments and remarks would not cause a family who truly loves one another to
change and conform to what society perceives to be right.
Most of the people who make it a point to highlight society as a problem, is that part of
society who does not agree with the arrangements of the family and they add to the problem.
Looking back on the state of Indiana, many corporations such as Angie's List and events like the
NCAA Basketball Final Four have considered pulling out of the state in 2015. These two
organizations are setting examples that they will not stand for discrimination against the LGBT
community. Many cities such as San Francisco and Seattle, along with a few states, have ordered
their city and state workers not to travel to the state of Indiana. Connecticut was the first state to

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boycott the new bill and the whole state. This is evidence that most people do not agree and
advocate for this type of hate or discrimination. More than people think, others will stand up for
what is right.
Another question that arises is how efficient in discipline are these types of parents?
People make rude and unknowingly statements all the time such as two gay guys cannot
discipline and bring up a child. In all reality, it does not matter what gender, whether it be two
dads or two moms, raises a child because it all depends on the person. I'm sure most people can
name a few straight parents who have had problems disciplining their children, no one is perfect.
It solely depends on the individual, not the sexual orientation of the parents.
Studies done by the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy states that,
Most research studies show that children with two moms or two dads fare just as well as
children with heterosexual parents. It also goes on to say that in a few studies children who
grow up with two mothers or two fathers do not show any differences emotionally and their
sexual orientation is not any different from those children raised by one mother and one father.
(Same-sex Parents and Their Children). Most studies performed by this association found a
sufficient amount of positives and a few downsides to being brought up in a homosexual parent
household. One downside was, obviously, the social life of the family but however, most families
found social support and groups to share their social life with.
One major drawback that comes to peoples minds is the fact that the children within the
same-sex household will grow up without an important figure there, either the mother or the
father. However, most folks do not know how these parents are coping with the problem. In most
cases, children in same-sex parenting homes have god parents, meaning if something were to

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happen to both the original parents the god parents would become the legal guardians of the
children. Even if nothing happens to the real parents of the child, the god parents still play an
enormous role in his or her life just as if the child is one of their own.
This gives the opportunity for the god mother or father, whichever one it may be, to help
the child out in some areas and be there when the same-sex parents cannot be. God parents
sometimes play an equal part in the child's life as the real parents. They attend activities such as
sporting events, birthday parties, and school functions just as the true parents do. This definitely
helps fill the role of the missing gender that the child needs and this helps fulfill the need for
both parents in the child's life so he or she does not grow up with a major influence missing.
When truly studying and researching families across America, there is no perfect family
out there; Every family has their own flaws that maybe no one knows about. When raising
children it is a learning process that does not come easy no matter the sexual orientation of the
parents. What is a traditional family in the first place? There are so many types of families that
no one could possibly give a true congruent answer. Traditional families do not exist anymore
because families have changed throughout the years up to our current times. As long as a family
is sharing love an respect for each other, it doesn't matter who the parents are. (Gillespie 200)

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Work Cited
Kaeser, Gigi, and Peggy Gillespie. Love Makes a Family: Portraits of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,
and Transgender Parents and Their Families. Amherst, Mass: University of Massachusetts Press,
1999. Print.
In Love Makes a Family, Peggy Gillespie and Gigi Kaeser talk, interview, and take pictures of
families with LGBT parents. They speak about the moment that they laid eyes upon their
children and how they still love them unconditionally. They portray that no matter what gender
their parents are, as long as they are brought up in a loving home, thats all that matters.
Linville, Deanna, and Maya O'Neil. Same-sex Parents and Their Children. Alexandria, Va.
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Web. n.d.
This text explains studies done by therapist who counsel and have homosexual parent patients.
The studies find many positive aspects about same-sex parenting and a few negatives. It also
describes many ways families within the LGBT community can cope with being out of the
normal aspects of the meaning of family.
ProCon.org. "Gay Marriage ProCon.org." ProCon.org. 4 Mar. 2015. Web. 30 Mar. 2015
This website gives great information about gay marriage in the United States. It describes what
state have adopted gay marriage and what states have not. This site also allows every reader to
weigh out the pros and cons of gay marriage.