Abbygail Maxwell

FHS- 2400
Unit 5 Essay 1
Option A: Singles

Option A: Singles
What forces are pushing you towards marriage? Are there any focuses pushing you towards
single hood? Can a single person (adult) live a satisfying life? Do you think that singles can be as
happy as married individuals?
Answer:
Marriage and Family has and always will be, in my opinion, a goal most humans strive for in a
life time. In my life there are many things that push me towards marriage and also push me
towards the single life. I belong to the Mormon church, and as member we are taught and
centered around family. Because of the emphasis on families we also have a history of marrying
early, and having lots and lots of kids. So as a Mormon I have grown up with the mindset of my
next major step in life is to get married. Obviously this a huge force pushing me towards
marriage. I just graduated from high school last spring, 2014, and so I am still fairly young, but
in just the short time that I have been in the real world I have already seen friend after another
putting rings on it. In a way, seeing all my friends grow up and get married causes me to feel the
need to follow in there footsteps. Then I think, that is CRAZY I am only 18 years old and I need
to live the single life for a while before settling down. For heavens sakes I dont even know how
to do my own taxes.

As you can tell there are a fair amount of forces pushing me towards marriage in my life. At the
same time there are also many forces pushing me towards single hood. I am kind of in a unique
situation, my high school sweet heart, who I am seriously crazy about, in on a lds mission for
two whole years. Yes I know that is a long time to wait for a boy, I hear it all the time. Because I
have my sweetheart gone for two years it forces me towards the single life. I am still dating and
broadening my horizons while he is gone, but in no way am I looking for a relationship. I am just
chilling in the single life. I also have my parents pushing me to be through school and wait until I
am 30 to get married. My mom is a big believer in marriages that start young end badly
because neither person is mature enough individually to be ready to add another immature being.
I understand where she is coming from because her and my dad ended up in a divorce. There are
so many things in the world pushing people in both marriage and single hood directions.
Everywhere you go there is always something.
Being single can be categorized in different ways there are four different types of non married
singles according to Strong and Cohen. Voluntarily and temporarily unmarried. These are
usually younger men and women actively pursuing education, career goals, or taking advantage
of some of the perceived advantages of being single... Involuntarily and Temporarily unmarried.
Women and men in this category would prefer to be married and are actively and consciously
seeking marital partners... Voluntarily and permanently unmarried. Singles who simply prefer to
be single and do not intend to marry... involuntarily unmarried. Never married individuals in this
category might have wished to be married but, having been unable to find a partner, are
otherwise resigned to remaining unmarried. (Strong & Cohen, 2014, p. 316) In my own
situation I put myself in the voluntarily and temporarily unmarried because, first, my boyfriend is
gone off in El Salvador for two years and I don't really get to talk to him. Second, my goal right
now is to get a good head start on school and get to know myself as a independent person before
I settle down.
I believe that a single (adult) cannot live a fully satisfying life unless a nun and even then I think
it would be hard. I know a lot of people may say or even seem to be okay with being alone but in
all reality as humans we all naturally strive for companionship whether they find it in a spouse,
child, or pet. Yes, maybe a cat lady with 50 cats feels happy, but the harsh reality is those cats
dont talk back and cant show companionship like a spouse or partner could. Maybe you could
adopt a kid and fill the need for companionship for a time but that kid will grow up and leave
that nest you had made home. So for me I think there are things that can void the empty space for
a while but in the end to truly be satisfied you can always rely on marriage and family. Marriage
is seen as the source of happiness--- 'not just garden-variety happiness, but deep and meaningful
well-being. A sense of fulfillment that a single person cannot even fathom.' (Depaulo 2006, 13)
(Strong & Cohen, 2014, p.317) Marriage and family, when in a healthy situation, is the path to
true happiness, others may argue differently but why not try it out for a spin. You might find that
it will make you happier then you ever dreamed possible.

References
Strong, B, & Cohen, T. F. (2014). The marriage and family experience: intimate relationships in a
changing society (12th ed.) Belmont, CA: Wadsworth