Samantha Gibbs

COMM 1010 P. Skousen

4/13/2015

Improving Interpersonal Communications Proposal

Communication is one of the most important factors, if not the most important factor, in
maintaining successful personal and professional relationships. Since I was young I struggled
with communication using words. I always had a hard time asking for help and with being able
to express myself verbally to others. My way of approaching conflicts was and still can be
extremely passive. When I was younger I tried to avoid as much of the conflict as possible. To
me there was no need to win in any situation as long as I didnt have to deal with the conflict at
hand. As time went on I learned to show more confidence and stand my ground a little than I had
before in my life.
Another communication issue I have faced in my life is being able to give a clear concise
message to those I am talking to. I struggle with relaying exactly what I need the listener to hear.
Because of this I usually express a confusing message or a message that is not exactly what I
meant. I am very action focused, meaning I usually use my actions as a way of communication
with others. This can be extremely helpful in some instances, such as interactions within my
personal relationships. In most professional situations the used of words is crucial in
maintaining a successful relationship within the work place.
My way of avoiding conflict can vary depending on the different situations that I am
faced with. As I mentioned before, when I was younger I tended to avoid any sort of conflict in
any sort of scenario. In certain situations I still find myself wanting to drop everything and run
when faced with conflict. In order to fix this I have learned to become more confident and stand
my ground but there are a few other things mentioned in our text book that could be used to
improve this aspect of my communication.
I have learned that even though I have learned to approach different situations without
avoiding it at all costs, I still have a hard time discerning what approach is best for that situation.
On page 128 of our text book, Communication at Work Strategies for Success in Business and
the Professions it explains that there are different situations for each and every time I am faced
with a conflict.
In my personal relationships I have found that usually when there is a conflict it is a
situation where the other person and I want very different outcomes for very different reasons.
In these situations I tend to get angry and used a competing approach. After reading in the text
book I have learned that a more suitable approach to these type of situations would be to avoid
the conflict. This way either the other person or I can regain a new perspective and cool down
then later on we can reconvene and figure out exactly what we want.
After reading on page 128 in the text book I have found my communication in the
workplace can be greatly improved by using a collaborating approach to manage conflicts. In
the workplace it can be extremely hard to stand your ground in conflicting situations, especially
when you are not in a position of power. It is frustrating for me when certain points or solutions
I am proposing are dismissed and not considered. I usually approach these types of situations by
compromising in conflicts. By doing this I very seldom am able to get my point across. I
struggle excelling and moving up in the workplace because of this approach.
Improving in this situation would require me to assess what type of conflict it is. If it is a
situation where my end goal is different from the others involved but it is still worth negotiating
and losing some to gain some, then I would using a collaborating approach. This way when a
conclusion is come to it can benefit both parties in the conflict, though each might have
compromised on something, in the end you both have come to a middle ground and are both

Samantha Gibbs
COMM 1010 P. Skousen
4/13/2015

happy with the outcome. In situations where I figure that the other persons viewpoint is right in
a conflict, more often than not I let my pride take over and I wont back down. I use a competing
method of dealing with this particular conflict. Meaning I stand my ground and refuse any
compromise even if I know the other solution may be better. I will improve in this by using an
accommodating approach. By using this approach to solve a conflict I would be able to admit I
am wrong, not letting ego get in the way of negotiating an issue that may not be as important to
myself as the other person can be extremely beneficial. On page 126 of the text book it talks
about ego/identity issues. We are constantly trying to show desirable attributes in accordance
with how we show our face. When we feel threatened by another we then to gain an ego and
forget professionalism. Conflicts should looked at thoroughly before jumping to a conclusion
and using a method of solving the conflict with may not be suitable for that particular situation.
Learning and utilizing these things in my daily life will be extremely successful in becoming and
remaining successful.
Earlier on I mentioned how I have a hard time relaying messages clearly. At times coworkers will take things the wrong way especially when I am trying to give constructive
criticism. I tend to point out their faults and forget to provide a solution for whatever problem I
am addressing. On page 114 of the text book it goes over defense-reducing and defense-arousing
messages. Some of the defense-arousing messages that I have notices I use are evaluative,
controlling manipulative and superior messages. Though I may mean well in some situations
looking at some of the words and attitude I use while providing feedback or criticizing is not
constructive in any way.
On page 114 in the text book it explains that using defense-arousing messages brings out
the worst in others. By trying to force them to be what I want them to be and being pushy when
I am giving feedback can create conflicts between me and my co-workers. There are a few
different things that I can do to improve this and become a better communicator through my
feedback. I can start by being totally honest, in the text book on page 115 it talks about how
dishonesty and being manipulative is almost guaranteed to bring out defensiveness in others.
When that is eliminated I can give them exactly how I feel and make sure I show concern for
them and what they are doing. When I give them a suggestion or constructive criticism I can
make sure that they know that I am concerned for them and not only for myself. This way they
can understand that I view us as equals and that I am giving solutions for a situation that I may
not agree with and that I can recognize the strengths. Something I can keep in my mind that is
also good to go to one of my superiors and express my concern and feedback about another
person to them. It describes on page 116 of the text book that in some situations it can better if
constructive feedback is given by someone who is more credible to give that criticism. That way
the person is more accepting and understanding of the situation. Something else I can watch out
for is adding other topics onto the criticism I am already giving. When I can focus on one thing
and explain in a kind and diplomatic way that person will be more accepting of that topic, rather
than being bombarded with other inapplicable feedback.
By learning from and using the suggestions from the text book, I can create a better
situation for myself and others in the workplace. Communication is a crucial aspect of everyday
life, when I cannot express myself and effectively solve conflicts I am creating an unbalanced
and toxic work environment and social life. My every day is affected by my ability to
communicate, learning how to improve will improve my every day life. I know I can become
more successful utilizing the things I have learned.

Samantha Gibbs
COMM 1010 P. Skousen
4/13/2015