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Taylor Bivans
Professor Campbell
UWRT 1103
March 25, 2015

Divorce on Children
Cory Monteith, an actor who died in 2013 at age 31 by drug overdose, first
overdosed when he was only fifteen years old. His mother told ABC News Bianna
Golodryga on Good Morning America that she believed it was because he wanted his
fathers attention. Corys parents divorced when he was seven years old. I am not saying
that every child who suffers from the effects of divorce will have a drug problem. What I
am saying is that these problems go hand in hand and this is a huge issue. Corys mother
said that he kept reaching out harder and harder to his father to achieve a relationship
with him. I feel that this issue needs to be brought to light, so we can eliminate the effects
on children.
According to Paul Strand, a correspondent for CBN News, about a quarter of first
time marriages end in divorce. Many people believe that the divorce rate is much higher
than 25%, but this is still a high number for something that means so much. The Barna
Group, a group that performs research based off of cultural trends, stated, there no
longer seems to be much of a stigma attached to divorce. This means that people who

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divorce are no longer judged for their decision. This is shocking, because marriages are
supposed to be a joining of two people who love each other. Divorce should not be taken
lightly just because it happens to be a trend. Divorce is a process and it is not over when
the papers are signed. The annulment of two people negatively affects everyone involved.
Children whose parents are divorced face problems of adjustment and
development. Jacqueline Kirby, a former professor at Ohio State, and Katherine Dean, a
graduate student at Ohio State, discuss the specific effects divorce places on teenagers.
Children of divorce have more difficulties in school, more aggressive and withdrawn,
less social and are more likely to abuse substances (Dean and Kirby). Recognize how
they said they are more likely to do something, rather than divorce causes them to be this
way. In other words, divorce puts extra unnecessary stress on children that should not be
their problem to begin with. Dean and Kirby also address that these children have lack
of parental support in decision making and feel that their time for growing up is
shortened. This means that children have to be independent at a young age and be
responsible for themselves. I feel that this ties in with the statement of teenagers being
more sexually active and more likely to abuse substances. Adolescents are not perfect and
in my opinion they are most likely going to act this way regardless of other
circumstances. But what I am trying to make clear is that divorce just adds to the
problem.
Divorce can impact a childs performance in school. David Ihrig, a recently
divorced man, shares his story with ABC News. Kids see their parents struggling to
cope, so when they get to school, Im sure theyre still a little frazzled (Ihrig qtd. in
Moisse). Some people believe that this is related to the anxiety that the children

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experience. Jay Reeve, an assistant professor of psychology at Florida State University,
said, anxiety can wreak havoc on attention (Reeve qtd. in Moisse). What this means is
that the anxiety that children are experiencing from the divorce is destroying their
attention in school. This is considered to be based more off of specific subjects. Reeve
discusses how math requires a lot of attention. Math requires more concentration than
other subjects, it requires more attention and mental agility (Reeve qtd. in Moisse). This
shows that children are falling behind their peers. These childrens education is being
negatively impacted for a reason that they cannot control.
A child who experiences a divorce can have a social life that is less fulfilling.
According to Denise Mann, a writer for WebMD Health News, children of divorce
experienced set backs in social skills and were more prone to feeling anxious, lonely, sad
or tended to have low self esteem. This shows that children are having trouble making
relationships with others. I feel that these children are missing out on making their
childhood all that it can be. They should not constantly be worried about whats going on
in their parents lives to the point where they cannot even live their own.
Illegal drug use is more common among children whose parents are divorced.
Traumatic childhood experiences, including divorce, increase the likelihood of drug
initiation (Dube 564-572). Compared with peers from intact families, teens whose
parents had divorced were almost four times more likely to use illicit drugs by the age of
14 (Dube 564-572). I feel that this is a very severe issue. Young, vulnerable children are
not necessarily turning to drugs because of the traumatic experience, but the experience is
making them more open to engaging in this type of behavior.

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But why does the divorce of parents have such an impact on the childs life?
According to Carl Pickhardt, a psychologist, witnessing loss of love between two
parents, adjusting to going back and forth between two households, and the daily absence
of one parent all create a challenging new family circumstance to live in. These are all
adjustments that the child has to come to terms with. I feel that no matter the age of the
child, it would be hard getting used to your parents not being together. It could also make
the child feel like they are the one to blame.
Doctoral candidate at the University of Wisconsin, Hyun Sik Kim, believes that
we need to intervene as soon as possible, because if children of divorce undergo a
certain stage, then its hard to make them catch up to their counterparts (Kim qtd. in
Divorce Plagues Kids). What Kim is saying is that children who are being affected by
divorce are falling behind their peers. I agree with his statement, because the sooner you
address a problem, the likelihood of you seeing results is greater.
So, what can be done to help these kids? Alan Kazdin, professor of psychology at
Yale University, says, parents should assume their divorce is affecting their children and
do everything they can to make the transition as smooth as possible (Kazdin qtd. in
Moisse). Kazdin offers suggestions as to how parents can limit the impact, there should
be a lot of reassurance by keeping up old routines and rituals to restore a sense of
security. I feel that often when one parent leaves the household, many things change and
the parent that keeps the children struggles to make it easy on them. If the parent focuses
on the childrens needs, both them and the children will be happier. What I mean by this
is if the parent is focused on making their childrens lives easier, they wont necessarily
have time to worry about the way they are feeling.

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Kim found that kids of divorce began to struggle as soon as their parents began
divorce proceedings (Divorce Plagues Kids..). In other words, the children started to
struggle as soon as the parents started acting differently with each other and maybe if one
parent moved out of the house. These children stayed behind other kids and began
internalizing behavior problems (Kim qtd. in Divorce Plagues Kids..). What this means
is that behavior problems became a part of them and they were constantly afflicted by it.
This is an issue, because children should not be burdened by a problem that is completely
out of their control. Hyun Sik Kim also stated, the divorce and post divorce phases are
tougher on kids because custody battles, a parent moving away, and shuffling back and
forth between households. I feel that this comment brings up a valid point. I know from
personal experience that the post divorce phase can be the hardest. Its hard to see your
parents as enemies and you feel that you have to pick a side.
Some people believe that there are certain factors that can determine the level of
impact. Allison Clarke-Stewart, lead researcher of the University of California, found that
it mostly depends on the socioeconomic status. Clarke-Stewart stated that its family
income and mothers emotional well-being that are important (Clarke-Stewart qtd. in
Murray). Clarke-Stewart also found that the more educated the mother is, the less
depressed they are and the more positive their interactions with their children appear to
bolster childrens functioning. I agree that the more positive parents are with their
children and the less depressed they seem to be could reduce the effect the divorce has on
their child. What I do not understand is why they are focusing on the mother. Although I
agree that the parents actions can aid in the process, I do not agree with this researchers
approach. Sometimes the mother is not the parent who ends up being the one to take care

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of the child. According to Natalie Gregg, a family lawyer, the spouse that who has
served as the primary parental figure should remain in that role after the divorce has been
finalized. This shows that the father can be the one to have sole custody of the children.
I believe that having a stable income can affect the impact. This is because usually
when people get divorced they struggle with bills because they were used to living in a
two-income household. This could lead to changes in the structure of parenting, because
the child would not be able to receive the same treatment as before, and this could lead to
issues between the parent and the child. But if the parent had a stable income on their
own, this problem could be avoided and there would be one less burden placed on the
child.
Even though its difficult to stop the effects from happening, there are precautions
that parents can take. According to Victoria Clayton, a contributor to NBC News, 50
percent of counties throughout the nation now have classes for parents who are
divorcing in which two-thirds of these counties theyre mandatory for all divorcing
parents. Craig Ogulnick, the programs coordinator and a marriage and family therapist,
says, the bottom line with our program is to show parents that there is a way to give
their kids a fair shot at a better childhood (Ogulnick qtd. in Clayton). I feel that this is a
great mechanism that can really help parents out in the long run. I do not think that the
classes should necessarily be mandatory, but rather strongly recommended. This is
because even though these classes could have a good impact on the whole situation, I
dont believe it is right to force something on them.
Constance Ahrons, a psychologist, says I always tell couples to minimize the
transition also, keep the conflict to a minimum and never put the children in the

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middle (Ahrons qtd. Clayton). Keeping the children out of the divorce is extremely
important, in my opinion. Children should not be exposed to conflict between their
parents. Victoria Clayton addresses the fact that if handled properly, separation and
divorce do not have to be devastating for children. In other words, if parents take action
to make sure that their children are not involved, then they should be less affected. Most
children witness their parents arguing, criticizing each other and many other things. I feel
that this only adds to the problem, because the children begin to feel that they have to
take sides and could grow apart from the other parent.
People are understanding that for their childrens health they have to find a way
to work together, says Ahrons (qtd. in Clayton). I feel that many parents grow to despise
one another after divorcing. This can lead to custody issues and eventually placing a
burden on the child. According to Clayton, the classes available to divorcing parents
teach communication. This would aid in helping parents become more civil with each
other so they can be better parents.
Even though divorce can negatively affect a child, a bad marriage can ultimately
impose the same impact. Brette Simber, a divorce expert, states, When parents stay in a
bad marriage, kids have to cope with the fall out from a never ending cycle of disputes,
resentment, sadness and even hate. Children live in a volatile environment, which even
if it is not violent, it is not nurturing and loving. This shows that a bad marriage can
almost be worse on the child than if the parents were to divorce. As Simber said, these
children are not receiving the love and attention that they need. Instead, the parents are
more concerned with winning the argument with their spouse. This is no way to raise
children.

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There are many benefits to escaping a bad marriage. For example, there is a
calmer emotional baseline, happy parents, children learn that compromise matters,
parents who choose happiness teach their kids to do the same, and divorcing parents can
find their parenting mojo (Simber). This shows that ending a bad marriage is the right
decision. I feel that it is important for the household to have the least conflict as possible.
Also, children are often affected by the emotions of their parents. So if their parents are
free of anger and sadness, the children will most likely mirror that. Furthermore, the
children learn valuable lessons. I think that it is great how something good can come
from this unfortunate situation.
Divorce affects not only the two adults involved, but also their loved ones.
Children should not have to deal with the battle, for example how Cory Monteith did. He
faced how serious the impact can be. Monteith struggled to regain a relationship with his
father and that lead to him getting into drugs and in turn, losing his life. Not every case is
this severe, but should be understood that something like this can happen. Divorce is an
emotional roller coaster and needs to be looked at in a more serious light. I feel that the
two individuals who are divorcing definitely need help to avoid long-term effects. But
there needs to be a focus on the ones who are affected and have no choice in the matter,
such as the children. The research shows that people are aware of this issue but I do not
feel that most people understand the severity.
Even though divorce is hard on everyone, it is usually the best decision. What I
think people should take into consideration is how they are going to keep the children out
of it. These children are vulnerable to what is going on and more action needs to be taken

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for their sake. They deserve to be raised in a household free of rage, violence or
resentment.

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Works Cited
Clayton, Victoria. "Divorce Doesn't Have to Destroy the Kids." NBC News 11 Dec. 2007,
Children's Health sec. Msnbc.com. Web. 11 Mar. 2015.
Dean, Katherine, and Jacqueline Kirby. "Teens and Divorce: What Hurts and What
Helps?" Family and Consumer Sciences. Web. 11 Mar. 2015.
"Divorce Plagues Kids' Social, Academic Lives for Years." Fox News. LiveScience, 2
June 2011. Web. 11 Mar. 2015.
Shanta R. Dube, Childhood Abuse, Neglect, and Household Dysfunction and the Risk of
Illicit Drug Use: The Adverse Experiences Study, Pediatrics 111, (2003): 564572.
Gregg, Natalie. Fathers Rights In Divorce: Myths and Facts. The Huffington Post. The
Huffington Post, 22 May 2013. Web. 26 April 2015.
Mann, Denise. Divorce Affects Kids Academic, Social Skills. WebMD. WedMD, 2
June 2011. Web. 26 April 2015.
Moisse, Katie. Two Minus One: Divorce Drops Kids Math Scores. ABC News. ABC
News Network, 2 June 2011. Web. 26 April 2015.
Murray, B. "Family Income Predicts Childrens Post Divorce Well Being." American
Psychological Association. American Psychological Association. Web. 11 Mar.
2015.
New Marriage and Divorce Statistics Released. Barna Group. Barna Group. Web. 25
Mar. 2015.

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Pickhardt, Carl. The Impact of Divorce on Young Children and Adolescents.
Psychology Today. Psychology Today, 19 December 2011. Web. 26 April 2015.
Sember, Brette. Why a Good Divorce Is Better Than a Bad Marriage for Kids. The
Huffington Post. The Huffington Post, 30 March 2015. Web. 26 April 2015.
Strand, Paul. Divorce Shocker: Most Marriages Do Make It. The Christian
Broadcasting Group. The Christian Broadcasting Group. Web. 25 Mar. 2015