Olivia Owens

SOURCE

1."Darling, Why Do We
Hurt the One We
Love?" Psychology
Today. Aaron Ben-Zev
Ph.D., 23 Mar. 2009.
Web. 09 Feb. 2015.

2. Almendrala, A. (2014,
June 26). The Scientific
Reason Why We Hurt The
Ones We Love Most.
Retrieved February 9,
2015.

3 Column Notes
ANNOTATION
Most of the time hurting a loved one is
unintentional. There is a better chance for
situations to arise when people spend
more and more time with each other. No
matter who it is that we have a great love
for they can benefit us as well as hurt us.
Their significance in our lives can be a
source of both happiness and potential
sadness. Trust and sincerity are key in
friendships as well as any relationship.
Precautions are less evident in
relationships involving the love of another.
Friends may become less careful watching
what they say or do not thinking of how it
could hurt their loved one. Being so close
may not always be the best thing in the
long run. For example when I came upon
this research I thought of my friends who
roomed together. There are many cases in
which we unintentionally hurt our beloved
as a result of external circumstances that
are beyond our control they both had jobs
and one might be in a good mood and the
other might be in a bad mood after work so
they would take it out on each other
because they were always right there.
People we know well are most likely the
ones we will cause any kind of harm to,
strangers are not the ones who should be

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REFLECTION
I have noticed that
spending so much time
around my Dad or friends
can really create a lot of
conflict. I really liked the
reasoning that came
along with this article.

This article helped me

realize how I as a friend
might become a target of
non-direct aggression. I
also noticed how my
words can become
unconscious.

feared. We are most likely to be aggressive

towards the people we know and love.
Yelling, confrontations, and hurtful words,
are common when being around someone
you are close to. Friends are more likely to
be targets of nondirec aggression -- either
indirect or passive aggression. Both of
those are non-confrontational, and
therefore they're very deniable," said
Richardson. "I could say, 'Oh, I didn't mean
to hurt you!'" Aggression may at times be
confused with assertiveness. Siblings that
have a strong relationship are more prone

3. Why do we hurt the one

we love? (n.d.). Retrieved
February 9, 2015.

to be verbally and physically abusive. My

sibling will always be my sibling. We are
not always conscious of or words and
actions. Unconscious words can come very

This made me think about

all my friends who are in
relationships. I made
connections with what

Olivia Owens

3 Column Notes

easily to someone we know or love.

4. Relationship Drama.
(n.d.). Retrieved February
17, 2015.

5. Renshaw, R. (2010,
April 12). Learned
Relationship Dynamics
and Behavior Patterns.
Retrieved February 17,
2015.

6. Facebook logo. (2012,

October 8). Retrieved April
1, 2015.

7. Wallace, D. (n.d.). Why

We Hurt The Ones We
Love. Retrieved April 2,
2015.

Some couples stay together even though

all they do is hurt each other over and
over. Why do they do this? That is not love
whatsoever. We think the person that does
this over and over loves us so we continue
to let it happen. Someone who grew up in
a chaotic home life maybe be
uncomfortable in a quiet harmonious
relationship. They may trigger chaos and
drama into a relationship.
It is often difficult to understand the person
we are in a relationship with when we
might not even understand ourselves.
Each person has different emotions,
attitudes, and points of view. Our
experiences are lived authentically in the
heart. If we want changes to be made we
need to confront the real cause of the
drama at hand. The images in our head of
our relationships and how we feel about
ourselves affect our relationships. Some
people have mental images that convince
them that they are in a healthy
relationship.

The way people perceive relationships

is based on their different life
experiences. They may view
meaningful or fulfilling relationships
differently. Most of us start observing
behaviors at a young age. We see what
our parents do and how they love,
react to anger, and express emotion in
challenging situations. Those things
influence how we conceptualize as a
normal relationship and how we
should handle conflict. The amount of
time someone is exposed to parents
behaviors and the attachment the child
has to the parent are correlated. The
child can continue to demonstrate
similar relationship patterns.
Relationship experiences continue to
mold our way of thinking throughout
adolescence. It later solidifies in late
adulthood. Parents have such a large

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they say and how they
act.

I noticed how my friends

who are in unhealthy
relationships make up
reasons in their minds to
justify their unhealthy
relationship.

Children start picking up

behaviors from their
parents at young age. I
remember my parents
fighting when I was little
and I always will.

This post was very

beneficial to my first
genre.

I have noticed who I am

comfortable around and

Olivia Owens

3 Column Notes
influence on our relationships.

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who I keep my guard up
with.

Reasons why we hurt the ones we love.

8. Lint, I. (n.d.). Stop

hurting those you love.
Retrieved April 2, 2015.

We are always more ourselves around

those we know. Those who are closest
to us are those we are the most
comfortable around. We may become
blind to what we do at times. In return
we may hurt the ones we love. Our
loved ones could also hurt us.
I never knew all the
different aspects of
energy. A lot of things can
influence our energy.
What we give off and
what we use or take.

9. Moutria, K. (n.d.). How

to Stop Hurting the One
You Love the Most.
Retrieved April 2, 2015.

10. Stanton, G. (2014,

March 1). Contact Us.
Retrieved April 1, 2015.

We all want and need to feel good. We

also need energy to live. Some of that
energy comes in forms of love,
attention, interest, friendship,
approval, or recognition. Sometimes
we get caught in a struggle and try
another strategy. We grow up, start to
date, and fall in love, a form of energy.
The stream of energy slows down over
time. When we love another human we
give them energy. We release our own
energy if we try to get someone to love
us.
There is a system to the process of
stop hurting the ones you love. It
comes down four main steps. Some
focus on ones self and some focus on
the other person. It takes two people
though. The cause of the problem

I saw that there is a

system to some things
and it takes a team to find
the problem and fix it.
Sometimes it is ourselves
that is the problem, I
realized somethings in my
own life that I could
change.

After reading this article I

was very touched by all
the real situation

Olivia Owens

3 Column Notes
needs to be found. Trust has to be
developed between the persons.
Communication is the key to any
relationship but it becomes very
important when one is trying to find
the root of a problem. Some hurt
others because their own self-esteem
is not where it should be. Therefore,
you need to build up your self-esteem
and better yourself.

Tone of voice and body language can

sometimes be misinterpreted by
others. Changing a childs behavior
does not happen overnight, it is a
process that has to be practiced. The
key is to continually encourage your
children. Our family is also our
neighbors. God says to Love thy
neighbor. Sometimes we fail to
appreciate our families. Family is truly
important to God, and so it should be
in our lives also. Through the word we
have a model to strive to live by. It
should start out at an early age. Using
scripture as a foundation can be very
useful.

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references and stories. I
also learned a lot of new
scripture.

Olivia Owens

3 Column Notes

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