Peer Review: Reflective Essay draft

Authors name: ___Elizabeth Koehler________________________

Reviewers name: ___William Myers________________________
Author: Provide the following information about your essay:
1. Write your thesis statement/main idea below (if it is still a work in progress, say so)
Provided in essay.
2. Write out one or two questions about your draft you would like your reviewer to answer.

Reviewer: Read the writers entire draft once. As you reread the draft, respond to the following:
1. Introductory paragraph(s): Write down the sentence or sentences that contain this reflection
papers main idea (according to you). Does the author focus on an overarching theme/metaphor/quote
symbol/etc.? Suggest how the thesis statement/main idea could be strengthened, clarified, or otherwise
improved. Does the author state which evidence will be examined in the rest of the essay? Suggest
how the author could improve this part of the essay.
Mountains are also very symbolic of challenges. As stated on the home page of my ePortfolio,
sometimes you go uphill, sometimes you go down, it can be either easy or hard, and sometimes you
need to retrace your steps. But regardless of how you get to your final destination, the challenge and
the final product are always rewarding. The exploration of mountains and trails contain multiple
trials and tribulations, and I felt relating it to this class as well as writing in general would be a
perfect comparison.
Strong use of analogy in tying class to real life. Good job.
2. Supporting paragraphs: Check to make sure the content of the paper supports the thesis and that
additional evidence or content is not needed to support it. Indicate one paragraph in which the writers
evidence is strong, and state the reasons why you think so. Then find one paragraph that needs more
evidence. Drawing from your own experiences or understanding of the type of assignment the author is
discussing, suggest evidence that might work to better illustrate or develop the main idea or subclaims.
The content of the paper supports the overall idea stated in the thesis very well.
The writer provides strong evidence of this in the writing for employment module paragraph.
I would consider discussing more about the reflection process, specifically peer review.

3. Organization: Number the paragraphs in the authors paper. Then, use the space below to describe
the purpose or main idea of each paragraph. Check to make sure the paper follows a consistent
organizational pattern and is effectively organized with clear paragraphs (focused around one subclaim) and smooth transitional/topic sentences. When you finish, suggest where the writer might
improve the organization of the paper through the use of transitional sentences, by focusing on one
topic in each paragraph, by restructuring the order of paragraphs, etc.
1. Koehlers Climb
2. Mountain Theme
3. 2116
4. Technical Communication
5. Module Introduction
6. Writing for Employment
7. Feasibility
8. Reflection Memos
9. Learning from writing
10. Division of work and success
11. Conclusion
The paper is very well rounded and has a lot of good use of imagery to keep the reader interested.
4. List the 2 most important things the author should focus on during revision.
Only strong critique I have is I would consider including more information about peer review and how
the process helped you through your writing.
5. Respond to the authors questions in number 2.

Author: When your essay is returned, read the comments by your peer reviewer and do the following:
1. Compare your description of the thesis statement with your readers. Consider your readers
comments and revise your thesis statement if necessary.

2. What additional evidence from the research youve read, from your experiences, from your
observations, etc. would strengthen the support for your thesis?

3. Make a revision plan. List, in order of importance, the 3 most important things that you need to do
as you revise your essay.