TheBalance

Perhapsitiseasiertoabandononesystemandswallowthenew(Lam2).From
theintroductiononwards,Lamillustratestheconceptofadaptingintoanewenvironment
forthesakeoftheprosperityofonesfamily.ThewordsLamusestosymbolizethis
conceptjuxtaposethecontrastbetweentheprosandconsofadaptingtothenew
system.ComparedtoAmericanideals,theAsianAmericancultureisamuchmore
complicatedorganizationandaconceptthatfocusesbeyondindividualism.ManyAsian
immigrantsareforcedtoabandon[their]systemandswallowthenewinordertostrive
withintheirnewsetting.InanAsianculture,oneistaughttheideaoffamilyoveroneself
andthateverythingisaselflesscontributiontothewholewellbeingofthefamilyname.
InrelationtoLamsstatement,astheeldestdaughterinmyfamily,Ihaveadesignated
dutytoserveforthesakeofourfamilysbenefit.Inanewambience,onemustlearnto
findtheequilibriumbetweentwoworldsandbecomeapartofawhole,whilenot
forgettingonesdominantidentity.Itisaconstantstrugglethatrequirespatienceand
understanding,however,ifattained,itcreatesacomfortablenichebetweentwoentirely
differententities.

BeingthelinkbetweentwoworldsandasecondgenerationAsianAmerican,I

wasabletoconnectandempathizewithAndrewLamsconceptoflivingandadaptingto
anewcountry,anewhome.MyfirstlanguagewasKoreanandmyparentsraisedmeas
ifIlivedintheirhomeland.Iwastaughtsolelybasedontheirprinciplesandideologies.
Atfirst,IwasshelteredandeverythingIknewwasbasedupontheirmorals.Ilearned
integrity,respect,andhonoratayoungage.ImayhavebeenbornonAmericansoilbut

mybloodrunsdeepinmycultureandhistory.Myfathercalledmetheseedofhopeand
thebranchofanewera.FilialpietyisanethosthatwasingrainedlongbeforeIsetfoot
ontheAmericanshore(Lam41).However,inordertosurviveandthrivesuccessfullyin
America,thereweremanytimeswhenIhadtoabandonmyculturalidealsinorderto
fitinthenormthatAmericasets.SimilartoLamssituation,thereweretimeswhenIwas
abitashamedofmytraditionalbackground.Forexample:food.Lamstates:...our
Irishneighborscomplainedaboutatoxicsmellmortified,weapologizedandkeptour
windowsclosed(Lam84).FromthetimeIwasinelementarythroughmiddleschool,I
wasterrifiedtoopenmylunchboxbecauseononetoomanyoccasionsmyfriendstold
metogoeatatacornerawayfromthem.Isoonforcedmyselftotransfertohamand
cheesesandwichesandabandonmyherbalteas.Thesewereminorchangesthatsignified
thegreaterchangetocome,buttheexperiencesandadaptationsImadeledtowhoIam
today.LivinginAmericaprovidesaconstantstruggletobalancebetweenculturalnorms
andwhatisexpected.However,...everystorythatbelongstoyou,intime,belongsto
America(Lam133),forweareallpartoftodaysnation.
AsIgrewupIwasconflictedbetweenmydreamsandthedreamsthatmyparents
had.Inwordsthatarenotmyown,itwasmyfixeddestinytobeadentist.Myfather
exhortedonandonabouthowimportantitistofindastablejobthatcamewitha
satisfactoryincome,sincehewasverywellawareandfamiliaroftheprominenceof
monetaryvalueinAmericansocieties.Hewantedmetobesuccessfulineverywayso
thatwhenhereacheshisendofthepathIwillbesupportingthefamilynameasthefirst
daughter.Manytimesmyfatherwouldsitmedownwithanexpectantlookonhisface

andlecturemeaboutthesignificanceofbecomingasubstantialpillarofourfamily.
However,onesummerafternoon...IcamehometorobmyparentsoftheirAmerican
dream(Lam39).Mydreamandgoalinlifewastobecomeafreelanceartist,which
complementedmystrongdesireforfreedom.InAsianculture,anartisticcareerisnot
consideredasanaffluentpathinlife,yetIhavealwaysadmiredartandaspiredincognito
tobecomeanartist.ThedayItoldmyparentsmydecisiontheimmediateresponsewas
no.IcouldseeintheireyesthegrandioseAmericanDreamthattheyhavealways
anticipatedinmyfuturewereslippingpasttheircallusedfingers.Nevertheless,...
despitemyfriendscoaxingandmyparentsardentexpectations,myheartwasntinit
(Lam39).IfeltapassionatedesiretopursueandachievewhatIbelievedIwasdestined
tobe.However,beingunderageandfairlynavedidnothelpconvincingmyparentsto
supportmychosencareerpath,butthatdidnotstopmefromkeeppushingforward.In
mysenioryearofhighschool,Ifinallybrokethrough.MyparentssawthatIhavecreated
anewAmericanDream:afutureofmyown.Seeinghowpersistentandinevitably
motivatedIwastofollowmydream,myparentsgavemetheirblessingandfully
supportedmychoiceofprofessionasafreelanceartist.Theydecidedtoputtheirfaithin
mebecauseitdidntmatterwhatIbecame.WhatwasimportantwaswhetherIhada
futureornot;thatiftheirchildwasstrongenoughtojourneyontheirown.Alltheywere
doingwasgivingmeopportunitiesandchancesjustincaseIwastofall.ThemoreIwas
abletoconveymydreamsandgoalstomyparentsthemoretheyunderstood,andmore
pathsopenedtomyfuture.

CommunicationisavitalaspecttoanysuccessfulintegrationinAmerica.Without

it,Americawouldnotbethegreatnationitistoday.Inrelation,myfatherchoseto
conductbusinessbyusinghisbrokenEnglishandstrivedforprosperityforthesakeof
hisfamilyandlineage.SimilarlyLamexemplifiesthisconceptwiththefollowingquote:
Andyet,itisinEnglishnowIplymytrade,itisinEnglishthatIdreamandthink,andit
isinEnglishthatIbestexpressmyself(Lam1).Myfathercametothiscountrybeing
fullyawareofthechallengesathandandaccepteditwithconfidence;hisdrivefueled
withhismotivationtobethestrongfoundationofhisfamily.Duringhisbusiness
profession,herealizedthatlimitinghimselftoKoreanbasedbusinessrelationships
wouldnotbenefithiminaworldruledbycapitalism.Helearnedtoextendhimself,
overcomingthelanguagebarriertograspthegoldenopportunitythatAmericahasin
storeforhim.Heknowsnowitswithinhispowerstoarticulateandreshapehisnew
world...(Lam121).Inmyperspective,growingupinAmericaandlearningin
AmericasUnifiedSchoolDistricts,I,too,havemeticulouslystudiedtheEnglish
languagebyreadingbooksoutloudtorefinemyaccent.Ilearnedtoovercomeandgrow
frommyshortcomings,andcontinuedtostriveforthebettermentofmyfuture.Many
timesIhadtoopposemyinitialmoralstoadapttowhatisgiventome.However,
successfulintegrationisnotsolelybaseduponsacrificingonesculture.Itisfocusedon
theharmoniousfusionbetweenthecultureandenvironmentofbothhemispheres.
Countlessamountsofimmigrantswhosoughtthegoldenopportunitiesof
Americahavefacedmanyobstaclesanddealtwithdrasticconsequences.Anewreality
isuponyouandyoumustrisetomeetit.Thisentailsadrasticchangeinyournature,in
yourthinking,andpossibly,inyourveryconstitution(Lam130).Transformation,or

change,isnotalwaysapositivenotion.Itdemandscommitmentandsacrificesinorderto
gainsomethinggreater,howeveritisafundamentalnecessity.AsimmigrantsofAsian
descent,myparentshavetraveled5,953milesinhopesforabetterfuture,notonlyfor
themselvesbutalsofortheirchildren.Foraparentsdreamisfortheirchildrentolivea
betterlifestylethantheycouldeverafford.Theybecamethefoundationandpillarsfor
theupcominggenerations,anddesperatelypushedthemintothebrightnewfuturethat
theyhavealwaysenvisionedonthisnewland.Inviceversa,theFarEastcountrieshave
alsobecomeaprominentfactortoAmerica:IfthoseinAmericastillthinkof
globalizationasaonewaytrip,thatissimplytheAmericanizationoftherest,theyshould
seriouslythinkagain(Lam119).Asoftoday,oneverystreetandcorner,thereis
evidenceofEasterntraditionalinfluence,whetheritisfood,clothing,entertainment,etc.
Thoughtransformationmayhavebeenacompletelyforeignconceptthatrequires
commitmentandadjustments,boththeEasternandWesternhemisphereshaveinfluenced
eachotherandcontinuestodosotoday.

Overcomingbarriersandaccommodatingtoacompletelydisparateenvironment,

Vietnamese,orallofFarEastAsianimmigrantshavetraveledsofarfromhome,butLam
stateshowthesituationalhazardisnotwhatmattersbut...intermsofhowfarwe
havecomeasacommunity...(Lam52).Intodaysdayandage,Americaisacomplex
nationfilledwithmulticulturalismandthrivesfrombothhemispheresequally.Onevery
cornerthereisevidenceofFarEasternculturewiththebeautifulfusionoftheirstory
embeddedinAmericasveins.AndrewLamhasillustratedthisconceptofimmigrants
andtheirculturalbackgroundthroughhisideaof"livewiththecontradictionsofyour

newhome,allyyourselftothisnewcountry,andletittransformyouasyoutransformit."
Onapersonallevel,Ihavewitnessedandexperiencedthestruggleoffittinginthe
Americanmold,adaptedtoanewculturetopavearoadofmyownindividualistic
attributes,andpledgedallegiancetothiscountrythatisnowmyhomeofthebraveand
landofthefree.