Date March 24 2015

Grade 8-A
By:
Valentina Castillo
Presented to: Gavin hill

Economy
The economy is An entire network of producers, distributors, and
consumers of goods and services in a local, regional, or national
community, the. The economy is an element that contributes
towards society, to help it improve, get wealthier and to to evolve,
because it could deductible expensive??, also economy could
Economy could also be a mean synonyms of power, business,
money, industries and companies. // There are facts essentials for a
wealth of a society and or community, one of the most important is
economy. This is for several reasons, one of them is that with a
wealthy economy society could get more resources and more
possessions, it also could get a better treatment. From part of the
government it could get a better medicine, or a better education.
This would lead to a better future, with better jobs for
people. //Economy also depends on the business and marketing
that a country have, with all the little stores contribute for a better
economy. This is because, for each product sell, a part of it go
towards the taxes and that make a better economy on the country.
The country get gains benefit for each product sell.// In conclusion
with a wealthy economy, things in a country or society definitely get
better. All the facts parts of a country, and its society get can
benefit of a wealthy economy. The country can invest on better
services and the country has a better monetary situation.
Valentina Castillo
Ok Valentina, youve made a good start here.
However you have lots of conjugation mistakes, when you are
righting a sentence try and keep in mind when it is happening or
what you are trying to say. You have also plagiarised your opening
statement.
I could mostly, but not always see what you were trying to say, so I
have made some corrections to match what I think you want to say.

Area
Task Response

high
fully addresses all parts of the task
presents a fully developed position in
answer to the question with relevant,
fully
extended and well supported ideas

Coherence and
Cohesion

uses cohesion in such a way that it

attracts no attention
skilfully manages paragraphing
uses a wide range of vocabulary
with very natural and
sophisticated control of lexical
features; rare minor errors occur
only as slips

Lexical Resource

Grammatical
Range and
Accuracy
Formatting

Paragraphs

Capitalization and
punctuation.

uses a wide range of structures with

full flexibility and accuracy; rare minor
errors occur only as slips
Emails have name, class, and title in
subject line.
Essay has a title, name, and class.
Other formatting guidelines are
followed.
Student uses paragraph structures.
Forming them correctly based around
subject
Student uses both competently and
fluidly.

low
barely responds to the
task
does not express a
position
may attempt to
present one or two
ideas
but there is no
development
has very little control
of organizational
features
uses an extremely
limited range
of vocabulary;
essentially no
control of word
formation and/or
spelling
cannot use sentence
forms except in
memorized phrases
Student fails to use
formatting

20-0

Grade
17

20-0

14

20-0

16

20-0

13

10

10

Student fails to use

any form.

Student fails to use

any.
doesnt use sentence
structure

100-0

Total
75