Tala Miller

4/25/15
English 120
MWA1-Traditional Reflection
In my paper from MWA 1, I wrote about an advertisement from Colorado State
University, and go into detail about what the advertisement looks like, and what ethos
logos and pathos are, and for my revisions, and I wrote then in a specific way. I first
wrote out my introduction, and then I described what I was going to talk about. I then
went into describing what ethos logos and pathos were in the second paragraph. Then I
went into describing my ad, and what the ethos logos and pathos were. When I peer
reviewed my document a fellow classmate made the suggestion of joining the explanation
of ethos logos and pathos, separately, and to me that I should explain where my
advertisement showed those things, and change some of the language of the essay. For
example, I did not explain ethos well before, and I did explain ethos well enough and I
took her suggestion of adding, Showing statistics and using data to prove your point
makes an advertisement much more believable, because I saw that I needed to provide
the reader with a better explanation. This peer also moved some of my paragraphs in
different places, such as my paragraph on explaining my advertisement, she moved it to
above my explanation of what ethos, logos, and pathos were, and I reworked the
paragraphs, and added the appropriate language. The teacher agreed with the revisions on
my essay, and said that it would make things flow better if I did it that way. As it stands
right now, my original essay starts with my introduction then goes into a description of
my advertisement, and then provides an explanation of ethos and what I found is the
ethos of my ad, explanation of logos and what I found is the logos of my ad, an
explanation of what pathos is and what I found in my ad, then it concludes. For this

assignment I wanted to keep things in a more formal because the audience of this
assignment was I received an A for this assignment, and the comment my teacher that I
got is that she thought that it was an improvement from my earlier revision that I had.
When I revised my essay even further there were multiple things that I changed about
the original essay. The introduction I did not do anything to because I felt that it did not
need to change, and my thesis was the same. The second paragraph, instead of describing
my advertisement, I put my introduction to ethos, pathos, and logos. The following three
paragraphs are explaining what ethos, logos, and pathos. As you know the following
paragraph from my original document were explaining ethos,logos, and pathos with how
it was in my advertisment. In the revised document I explained ethos logos, and pathos,
and then moved my description of my ad after, and then explained how they were in my
advertisment. I changed these things in my essay because I did not like how it was
originally set up, and I thought that it would actually flow together this way instead of the
way that I had it originally. I did add some simple sentences to make things flow together
such as adding, "Along with ethos, the second rhetorical appeal that you will see that is
used in an ad is logo.". I used this opening statement to clarify that I was going to be
describing what logos looks like in an advertisement, as opposed to what it looked like in
my advertisment. I felt that I did not have to change anything about the conclusion either,
because it already summarized what I wanted to say about the whole The way that my
essay goes now is Introduction, explanation of ethos, logos, and pathos in an
advertisement, description of my ad, explanation of where ethos,logos, and pathos can be
found in my ad, and the conclusion.
The original document that I had was representative of what I wanted to express in my
essay but not in the exact way that I wanted to do it, and in the traditional revision, I felt
like that I was able to get my point across in a way that I thought it flowed well, and that
everyone would be able to know what I was talking about. I did change some things

about the essay, for example, how the paragraphs look like but I still wanted to keep the
same information that I had in the original essay and express it in a different way.