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Nicholas Owens
3/24/15
Jamie McBeth-Smith
English 1010-006

Distant Relationships
Since the beginning of human existence on earth, we have had face to face interactions
with the people around us. Since 1990 though, there has been a change in how we have
friendships relationships with others. Online dating and relationships have become common and
accepted in todays day in age. Can online relationships be just as healthy as actual physical
relationships? That is a question that many people are asking more and more often with the
introduction of new technology every day. I became interested in this topic because I was in a
long distant relationship for four and a half months. It didnt end well so after that I became
interested in peoples opinions on having online relationship.
Carr, Nicholas. Projecting Onto the Screen New York Times.29 Mar. 2012. Web 4 Apr. 2012
Nicholas Carr argues that the people can have good friendships with others on a physical
level as well as at a long distance one. But these two relationships are not equal. An online
relationship cannot and should not replace a valuable embodied relationship. People can hide
their true identity a lot more easily online than they can in person. So friendships may not be as
real online. People who have met online then met after in person have a harder time connecting
than if they date online then try it in person.
Carr is a technology and culture writer so he has studied the issues that the media causes
with society. He uses a personal experience that he had had with long distant friendships to show

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that he understands both sides of the issue. He writes in a way that looks down upon anyone who
thinks any other way. He makes it sound like it should be common knowledge to everyone. He
then gives examples of the argument and shows that his opinion is correct.
I feel as though online rooted relationships dont have that many roots. You may be able
to see the person through a screen and hear them through a microphone but there is so much
more to communication and connection than just those two things. Every person has a different
aura for lack of a better word. There are definitely some things that the internet and technology
just cant transmit from one place to the other.
Giridharadas, Anand. For Couples Split by Distance, Two Screens Can Blink as One. New
York Times.11 May 2013, Web 15 May 2013
Ananad Giridharadas reminds the reader of the times when couples who were separated
by long distances would write letters and dream about looking up and living under the same sky..
Now with technology like Skype and Netflix, people can watch the same show together in order
to bond instead of just looking up at the sky. This creates a bond as if they were watching
something together on the couch while cuddling. Online relationships can be bonded by doing
things that they would normally do together if they were really with each other. Even though
they dont like being apart, this is the closest thing to actually being together.
This text shows the good that comes out of social media, television and movies with
relationships. Even though it can be a waste of time if misused, the writer shows that these things
can help strengthen relationships when the two people are separated by great distances. The
writer shows that it can be applied to everyone when he gave the example of the girl who was a
away for college but still watched Lost with her family over Skype and it helped her feel less

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homesick. This article does not go for or against online relationships, but it does show how they
can be helped by the media.
I was in a situation where the only communication I get with my girlfriend is over Skype.
We had not tried to watch something together but it doesnt sound like a bad idea for us to have
done while we were apart. I know that doing things together over Skype can be good for the
relationship. On Valentines Day, we both bought dinner at the same place and we brought it
home to eat it together while on Skype. It was our best shot at having a good Valentines dinner.
These types of things can be good, but they cannot replace the real life thing in value.
Herlein, Katherine. Does Easier Intimacy Online Lead to Easier Infidelity? New York Times. 5
Jan. 2015. Web 15 Jan. 2015
Katherine Herlein mentions many of the benefits of having social media and
communication in our day and age. It can be a great way to communicate with others and catch
up with those who we havent seen in a long time. But there are dangers that come with these
interactions online. Married individuals can find themselves in situations where their fidelity to
their spouse is in jeopardy. Inappropriate communication that the spouse doesnt know about
with people of the opposite sex can lead to that individual wanting something different and new.
Pornography can also be a devastating killer for intimate relationships between a husband and
wife. Even though these things are not real and authentic, the hurt feelings can be.
Hertlein is very quick and concise in her writing. This makes her message very easy to
understand and see. She starts out with the things that are good about technology to show that
she is not totally against technology and shes not writing it to say that shes against technology

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but that it can have dangers. She also uses fear by mentioning the consequences of misusing the
internet.
The internet definitely has its good side to it. We can talk face to face with anyone in any
place in the world. But good things that are misused can have disastrous consequences. I think
that the accessibility of things like pornography or communication with the wrong people has
made it easier to be unfaithful to the people we are committed to. There needs to be a good
balance between time spent on the internet and the time spent with the people around us.
Jones, Daniel. Romance at Arms Length New York Times. Web 24 Feb. 2011
Daniel Jones first talks about a story where a person fell in love with a computer program
that would say romantic things to the person, but it wasnt real person on the other end. Online
only relationships are not very different from that. Couples in online relationships can express
their feelings openly with each other but they lack important physical contact with each other.
People who are in long distant online relationships who dont expect to see each other often or
even ever dont feel like they have to be as committed to the other person, thus limiting the risk
of being hurt. People can easily hide behind their computers and feel less ashamed of who they
are online. People show only what they want to show online so it may sometimes feel like the
person on the other end may seem too good to be true.
Jones argues that the trending thing nowadays is to get satisfied emotionally without
much effort. He is a psychologist who has seen the problems that technology has caused
individual and families. This shows that his opinion is based on many examples thus making his
opinion more valid. He uses examples of things that most people have heard of or done that we
can all relate to and points out the problems that these trends are causing. He points out the

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different effects that are caused by these relationships. This shows a very powerful cause and
effect for the reader because they can see that these actions do not have good outcomes. He
doesnt do this to belittle anyone but rather to warn people against the dangers of technology.
Online relationships can be a good way to express feelings and connect emotionally and
intellectually with someone. But the physical aspects of relationships are sorely missed while in
them. Its like getting nose bleed seats to basketball game while missing out on getting
courtside seats. It can be exciting to be at the game, but its not nearly the same experience. The
internet can be a place where people can be whoever they want people to see them as. So you
never truly know who you are having a relationship with while online.
Kruger, Josh. Are our internet relationships really real? Philadelphia weekly. Web 23 Oct.
2010
Josh Kruger starts his article out by talking about the things that are missed when having
an online relationship rather than a real embodied one. He argues that even though there are
many things that cant be done while in an online relationship, these relationships shouldnt be
overlooked but rather cherished. If people understand the usefulness of the internet and
understand what it can and cant do, it can be a great way to create and maintain friendships with
people from around the world. Online communication can in some ways be a good way to keep a
friendship because people are more likely to talk about their feelings and express what is truly on
their mind.
Kruger starts his article by asking questions that most of us ask ourselves about online
relationships. This helps the reader connect to what he is saying because the reader feels that the
Kruger is just like them. The way he writes is loving and inclusive to everyone. He doesnt

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belittle anyone for what they think about the subject, but rather he helps enlighten them on a
subject they may not be sure about. He also uses personal examples on the topic to help show
that he learned these things from experience.
I do believe that online relationships and friendships have value and should not be
overlooked. Sometimes it is impossible to have a real face to face conversation with friends that
have moved away or that you have just met online. So online is the best way to maintain these
precious friendships. I think that a lot people dont know where to stop with this though. Some
people may just be looking for online relationships and friendships just because they are too
afraid and shy to step out of their comfort zone and talk to people face to face.
Online relationships are becoming more and more common with the introduction of new
technology. So are online relationships as healthy as physical ones? I would say no there is a lot
missing from those relationships and there can be a lot of danger in them We are also becoming
more dependent on our electronic devices to get things done so we seem to now look at
technology as a way to be in a committed relationship to fulfill our emotional needs and wants.
We would truly be missing out on the benefits of having true physical relationships with
someone that we know very personally. If we spend too much time online in a virtual reality, we
may forget how to be happy in our actual lives with the people who are around us. Online
friendships are not worthless, but they are worth a lot less than an actual face to face friendship.
These friendships and relationships may be harder and require more work but they are more than
worth it in the end.