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Appendix 3 Student G

17 April 2015

Restriction or Freedom?
OBrien believes that humanity can be restricted and controlled completely, but Winston
believes that in the future there will be much stronger rebellions. In societies with restriction,
they have many reasons to rebel against the government/Party, but would they really know what
to fight for if they never knew about the situation theyre in? In a free society, there is less
need if rebellion. You have a lot of rights, but once theres a flaw in the system, riots will start
forming, both peacefully and violently. Because of its restrictive society, Oceania has rebels who
have a reason to fight against it. But what if it were freer? (too much questions? should i go on?)
One real life society of totalitarianism was the Nazi Party ran by Adolf Hitler. He gained
dictatorship legally through lies and persuasion. The Nazis forced the state government officials
down with the excuse of a state emergency decree and took over on March 5, 1933. Those who
were against it were taken into what would be the beginning of the Nazi concentration camp
system. The camps were usually in old abandoned factories. The thousands of people sent there
were usually treated harshly and sometimes even beaten to death. This was the beginning of a
grander plan. On March 15, 1933, Hitler and Gring held a meeting on how to get the new
Reichstag to pass an Enabling Act which will give him the power to create laws, control budgets
and approve treaties with outside countries. In order to gain the non-Nazi peoples favors, they
held a public display during the election of the new Reichstag to acknowledge what they have
been doing. They eased the tension of everyones concern of the actions of the Nazis. Hitler paid
the President respect by shaking his hand and bowing at the end of his speech, but it was all part

Comment [1]: too big

Comment [2]: who is
winston? who is o'brien? you
need to establish context before
launching into your argument
Comment [3]: This idea that
in free societies there is more
opportunity but less desire to
rebel is a pretty profound
understanding. From talking to
this student, I know that she
wanted to tie this insight into an
analysis of whether or not the
Party with its rigid
authoritarianism is STABLE.
That is, can you run an
inhuman regime and not risk
people pushing back against it?
I think this is a profound
understanding, and it is one she
came up with on her own. Once
again, we see this issue of a
language deficit running up
against an inquiring mind.
Comment [4]: keep going.
these are interesting
Comment [5]: This rough
draft is interesting to me for
a few reasons. First of all, I
like seeing student
thinking in this case, the
questions that follow, one
after the other, show strong
evidence that the student
has actively considered and
re-considered her question,
teasing out various
Comment [6]: citation?

of his plan. Later on, the President signed 2 decrees: to forgive and free the Nazis in prison and
to be able to arrest upon suspicion of disagreeing with the Nazi Party. (add in more details) He
made promises he would never keep such as no more unemployment and peace with nearby
Hitlers main goal was to eliminate the jews. He had a strong hatred, or also known as
antisemitism, towards Jewish people. The holocaust was the genocide of 6 million Jews caused
by the Nazis. They thought that the Jews were inferior and would ruin the German race. It is
similar to the Navitists who did not want the blacks and slaves from settling into the new
territories such as Kansas and Nebraska. Many Jews rebelled by secret escape that was either
planned or not. Judy Meisel had ran away with her sister while the guards at their camp lined up
all the women towards a little house and filled it with poisonous gas. Along the way they found
help and wound up in Denmark where many Jews were welcomed and it was a place of
sanctuary. ( i will add some more detail )
It was difficult to find rebellions in free countries because they dont have much reason
to. But if there was something unjust everyone would protest and riot together if they have the
same beliefs. Mike Brown was a 18 year Black teenager who was shot several times by Officer
Wilson in August 2014. He was unarmed. Many people were furious and demanded the
government to do something about it. ( need to think of a better one )
Winston had more knowledge of what London was like before it came Oceania and big
brother took over. He also remakes speeches and articles to match with what the Telescreens
announce. double think. Julia was born into the new society but she rebels. she overpowered
overthink.. ( i will find evidence for this and be more concrete )

Comment [7]: Many of these

details are irrelevant, and I did
not love the fact that she led
with the Nazi example before
establishing the problem space
with reference to 1984.
However, the students
willingness to draw these kinds
of connections to history, which
was not mandatory, shows that
she was following her natural
curiosity beyond the paramaters
of the assignment.

Appendix 4 Student H
English 2
April 22, 2015
Rough Draft
The novel 1984 by George Orwell tracks closely to Winstons thoughts. We learn what his
job is, how he feels about other people, what he writes in his diary, and what his views are on the
Party. From Julia, we learn what her views are on the Party, but not much else. I believe that we
would have a different view on Oceanian Society if the book tracked closely to Julias thoughts
instead of Winstons because of the time period in which they were born, how they think, and
their different views on the Party.
One way that Julia differs from Winston is the time period during which they were born. Julia
was born after the revolution whereas Winston was born before the revolution. Because Julia
knows nothing about what happened before the revolution, she can accept the changes that the
Party makes to history without questioning them. Winston cannot however because he
remembers things that occurred before the revolution even though the Party denies those
memories. The Party said that Oceania had never been in alliance with Eurasia. He, Winston
Smith, knew that Oceania had been in alliance with Eurasia as short a time as four years ago. But
where did that knowledge exist? Only in his own consciousness, which in any case must soon be
annihilated (Orwell, 34). The changes that the Party makes to history become the truth and
almost all of the people in Oceania accepted those changes. In this case, like many others,
Winston cannot accept this change because he has a memory that contradicts what the Party
wants him to believe. It is very hard for him to pretend as if none of those memories ever
happened. Also, Winston has dreams of what happened to his mother and his sister before the

Comment [8]: I really like this

type of thesis. While it is not
especially professional or
academic, it is clearly reflective
of something that interested the
student. That is to say, this type
of thesis does not emerge from
the student trying to mimic the
way a teacher would frame an
inquiry of a novel.

revolution. The Party tried to destroy his memory of all of these events but it didnt work. He
refused to accept the changes and believe that none of it ever happened because at the same time
he knew that these events actually did happen and the Party was falsifying the past. This supports
the reason as to why Winston has an ancestral view on things and Julia does not.
Another way in which Julia and Winston differ is how they view the Party. Julia believes that
there is no point in rebelling against the Party. Instead, she goes behind their back and breaks the
little rules but follows the big ones. Orwell writes, Any kind of organized revolt against the
Party, which was bound to be a failure, struck her as stupid. The clever thing was to break the
rules and stay alive all the same (Orwell, 131). Winston notices that Julia does not speak in
Newspeak and that she does not believe in and has never heard of the Brotherhood. Julia seems
loyal to the Party but when it comes to following the simple rules, she disobeys the Party. Julia
also does not feel as controlled by the Party as Winston does. I think Winston knows that the
Party is trying to eliminate the use of independent thought by monitoring everyone through
telescreens and by enforcing people to doublethink. This makes him feel controlled by the Party
and therefore he wants to overthrow it by rebelling against it. He thinks that this is the only way
that the Party can be destroyed. Even though Winston wants to overthrow the Party he cannot
because he is not sure how many others there are in Oceania that do not like the Party. When he
gets the opportunity to join the Brotherhood he decides to join because he knew that the
Brotherhood was against Big Brother, or so he thought.
Julia differs from Winston in the way that they think as well as when they were born and
what their views are on the Party. Julia is perceptive whereas Winston is intellectual. When Julia
notices things she just sees it happening and does not think anything more of it. However, when
Winston notices things he takes the time to comprehend what they mean and what they

symbolize to him and to everyone else in this society. I believe that this relates to how Julia
cannot see the big picture but Winston can. Winston can see that the Party is trying to gain
complete control and power over Oceania. He knows that they are doing this by eliminating
independent thought and by making everyone completely loyal to the Party. Julia on the other
hand does not think about all of this as much as Winston does. As I stated before, she decides to
be loyal to the Party but go behind their back and break some of the rules. She does not let them
control her life and therefore she differs from Winston in this way.
As stated before, Julia differs from Winston in the time in which they were born, what
their views are on the Party, and how they think. Because 1984 tracks so closely to Winstons
thoughts and not Julias, we see Oceania as a formidable and hopeless society. If the novel
tracked closer to Julias point of view and not Winstons we may not have this dark view on
Oceanian Society. Winston knows that the sole purpose of the Party is to have complete control
over Oceania. He knows this because he read it in The Book, which was written to explain the
Partys main purposes. The way that Winston describes the Partys goals makes the audience
look critically upon the Party. The hallway smelt of boiled cabbage and old rag mats (Orwell,
1). This is how Winston thinks of the Victory Mansions. This is described on page one of the
novel, so this gives the audience a mysterious view of Oceanian Society from the minute they
start reading the novel. If Julia were to have described this, I think she would have described it in
a way that did not make it seem as awful as Winston did. I believe that instead of doing what
Winston did and describe the bad things, Julia would have described the building in a more
positive way. She might have described how the people acted in the building and how the
building brings the people of Oceania together. We would also have a different view on
Oceanian Society if Winston did not observe what the people of Oceania do so closely. When he

is in the cafeteria, he watches how everyone talks and what everyone does. I feel as though Julia
worries about herself and she does not care about what everyone else does. If we were told the
book from her point of view, we may not look down on Oceanian Society.
In conclusion, if 1984 tracked closer to Julias thoughts and not Winstons, I believe
that we would have a different outlook on Oceanian Society. Winston describes Oceania as a
grim and hopeless society and therefore the audience looks down on it. Julia is different from
Winston in the time period that they were born, how they view the Party, and how they think. I
believe that if we were told the novel closer to her point of view we would have a more pleasant
and hopeful view on Oceanian Society.