Analysis of Written Work

Name:
Original Body Paragraph One
In 1.1, Shakespeare develops Romeos character through indirect
characterization in terms of Romeos actions and speech. Romeo is depicted as a
lonely man struggling in despair with unrequited love. In deep despair with his
unstable relationship, Romeo, private in his chamber[,] pens himself, / Shuts up his
windows, locks fair daylight out, /And makes himself an artificial night. (1.1.141-43).
Romeo avoids seeking his family and friends for support, often fleeing to cry by
himself. Romeo is lonely, and he needs help, which Benvolio will provide. Romeo also
exhibits sadness in his speech. Romeo describes love with negativity and admits he
grieves much:
Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast,
Which thou wilt propagate to have it pressed
With more of thine. This love that thou hast shown
Doth add more grief to too much of mine own. (1.1.192-96)
Romeo is pessimistic of himself and he knows he is in great despair because of the
Revised Body Paragraph
One:
In 1.1, Shakespeare develops Romeos character through indirect
characterization in terms of Romeos actions and speech. Romeo is depicted as a
lonely man struggling in despair with unrequited love. Grieving over Rosaline, the
woman in his unstable relationship, Romeo private in his chamber [,] pens
himself, / Shuts up his windows, locks fair daylight out, /And makes himself an
artificial night (1.1.141-43). Romeos actions in avoiding his family and friends for
support reveals his despair and struggle. Romeo also exhibits sadness in his
speech. Romeo describes love with negativity and admits that he grieves much:
Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast,
Which thou wilt propagate to have it pressed
With more of thine. This love that thou hast shown
Doth add more grief to too much of mine own. (1.1.192-96)
Romeos speech demonstrates his low self-esteem and grief involved in his
relationship of unrequited love.

Argument Analysis
What is the argument? What is the author trying to prove?
Does the writer clearly present the argument in the topic
sentence?
Is there any confusion about what the author is trying to prove?
What makes it confusing? If it is clear, what makes it clear?
Evidence/Support
What does the author use to support his/her claim?
Are there at least two pieces of evidence in the paragraph?
How convincing are the two examples? Do they seem like the
best evidence that relates to the stated argument? Or does it
seem that the author just plopped the quotes there to fulfill the
evidence requirement?
Analysis of Evidence
Does the analysis support the topic sentence?
Is the analysis obvious or is it insightful? If it is obvious, how can
the author make the analysis more insightful?
Does the author use literary terms/language appropriately and
effectively to analyze the evidence?
Mechanics, Usage, Grammar
Mechanics, Usage, Grammar treat the paragraph as a MUG.
MLA Citations Are they correct?
References to acts and scenes correct? (1.1 not Act 1 scene 1)
Make necessary revisions and corrections to the paragraph.

Body Paragraph Two:

Romeos character and personality has changed in Act 2. Romeos
emotions for Rosaline have totally been forgotten, and he is now in
love with Juliet. Romeo is depicted as a witty man who is deeply in
love. In 2.3, Romeo says that he has forgot [the] name of Rosaline
and the names woe (2.2.49). Romeos dramatic change in his
emotions indicates that he easily falls in love and is irrational. In 2.2, it
is obvious that Romeo is entranced by Juliets appearance. Romeo says
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! / O that I were a glove
upon that hand, / That I might touch that cheek! (2.2.24-26). Romeo
has completely forgotten about Rosaline, and is now totally focused on

Juliet. Romeo is no longer sad, as he was over Rosaline, but he is rather

cheerful and happy.

Revised Body
Paragraph Two:
Romeos character and personality has changed in Act 2. Romeos
emotions for Rosaline have totally been forgotten, and he is now in
love with Juliet. In Act 2, Romeo is depicted as a cheerful man who is
deeply in love. In 2.3, Romeo says that he has forgot [the] name
Rosaline and the names woe (2.2.49). Romeos dramatic change in
his emotions indicates that he easily falls in love and is irrational.
Romeo was burdened with grief in Act 1, but now that he has just met
Juliet twice, he has completely forgotten Rosaline. In 2.2, it is obvious
that Romeo is entranced by Juliets appearance. Romeo says See, how
she leans her cheek upon her hand! / O that I were a glove upon that
hand, / That I might touch that cheek! (2.2.24-26). Romeo is
completely immersed in Juliets sheer beauty, wishing that he would
spend every moment by her side. Romeo shows no sign of his despair
and grief over Rosaline from Act 1, but is now deeply infatuated with
Juliet.
Argument Analysis
What is the argument? What is the author trying to prove?
Does the writer clearly present the argument in the topic
sentence?
Is there any confusion about what the author is trying to prove?
What makes it confusing? If it is clear, what makes it clear?
Evidence/Support
What does the author use to support his/her claim?
Are there at least two pieces of evidence in the paragraph?
How convincing are the two examples? Do they seem like the
best evidence that relates to the stated argument? Or does it
seem that the author just plopped the quotes there to fulfill the
evidence requirement?
Analysis of Evidence
Does the analysis support the topic sentence?
Is the analysis obvious or is it insightful? If it is obvious, how can
the author make the analysis more insightful?
Does the author use literary terms/language appropriately and
effectively to analyze the evidence?

Mechanics, Usage, Grammar

Mechanics, Usage, Grammar treat the paragraph as a MUG.
MLA Citations Are they correct?
References to acts and scenes correct? (1.1 not Act 1 scene 1)
Make necessary revisions and corrections to the paragraph.