Ting Pan

Writing 2 / MW 3PM
05/20/2015
WP3 Option #1
Older/Younger Audiences
For my project, I chose to translate Bio-Brief#2: Climate Change, which is a scholarly
piece supported by the Asian Development Bank (ADB) and GMS Working Group on
Agriculture (WGA). This piece is mainly about the introduction of climate change, climate
change and the Greater Mekong Subregion, as well as Lao PDR.
To reach younger audiences, I decided to translate it to the genre of picture book for
5~10-year-old children. First of all, I needed to find the simplest concept in this scholarly
piece, because for younger audiences, most parts of the scholarly piece are hard to understand.
The first section of introduction is not suitable for children because it is full of chemical,
physical and biological theories, such as greenhouse gases and the natural balance of
atmospheric gases (ADB 1). Also for children, the data of emissions, temperatures, and
rainfall are boring and hard to follow. I thought the only part of indications can work,
because it contains several daily phenomenon, and is educational for children. Moreover, the
signs of climate change can be described by interesting pictures.
Different fonts and different colors are attractive for children. In the cover page, I
decided to write the title in different colors and apply a kind of cartoon font. These moves can
make this book attractive to children at first glance. In the rest of the pages, I also tried to
keep the characters colorful, which is a noticeable convention of picture books.

Simple words and phrases are also a convention of childrens books. I decided to omit
the explanations of these indications. For instance, the scholarly piece states that Sea-level
rise, due to the increased input of freshwater from melting snow and ice into the ocean and
expanding volume of warmer water. For children, melting ice expands the volume of
warmer water may be tough for them to figure out. Therefore, I just wrote Sea ice is melting
at a rapid pace, leading to the sea-level rise and then told the story about the picture.
Children are imaginative and like treating animals or objects as human beings. I drew
the sun using an electric fan, the fish crying, and the animals in the sea talking... These
images are unrealistic but everything can be true in childrens imaginative world.
To reach older audiences, I transformed the scholarly piece to a newspaper article. All of
the content in this article can be included because older audiences are able to understand the
information provided. However, different from scholarly articles, newspaper articles are
shorter and discuss current and recent news, or a specific topic. Therefore, I decided to write
the topic of the relation between climate change and the Greater Mekong Subregion
countries.
Similarly to the scholarly piece, the tone of newspaper articles should be formal and
objective. Both of them do not contain personal opinions, so I just used third person when
stating the facts.
Newspaper articles are meant to give facts and detailed information. I added the specific
time for each event such as a report released on May 15.... I also created fake characters
and gave them names. These moves make the information seems accurate and truthful.

Organization is crucial for newspaper articles. The rule is writing the most important
information firstly, and then mention the less important ones later in the article, which is as
the inverted pyramid format. Therefore, I wrote the most important news in the first
paragraph and offered some background of it. Then, I stated other information.
One helpful reading for me is Losh and Alexanders comic work, Understanding
Rhetoric. The authors propose that All writing is influenced by what you know about an
audiences expectations (Losh 7). While transforming the piece, I had to think about the
intended audience all the time. Older and younger audiences have totally different
expectations. Older audiences need abundant truthful information, while younger ones are
more likely to be interested in attractive and imaginative stories. That is why I chose these
two genres to work on. Also, each specific move and decision were all depend on the
intended audience.
Another reading which greatly helped me to translate the genre was Scott McClouds
Writing with Pictures comic. He suggests that picking certain words adds valuable
information and works well with the images around them (McCloud 10). When writing
stories of the picture book, I kept this sentence in mind and made sure that the words can
match the picture well.
To reach different audiences, I translated the scholarly piece into two genres - a
newspaper article and a picture book. By working on this project, I was aware that each genre
has its own conventions to appeal to potential audience. In addition, the moves the writers
make are all influenced by the target audience.

Works Cited
ADB and GMS WGA. Bio-Brief#2: Climate Change. Nov. 2013. Web.
Losh, Elizabeth M., and Jonathan Alexander. Understanding Rhetoric: A Graphic Guide to
Writing. Print.
McCloud, Scott. Writing With Pictures. New York: Harper, 2006. Print.

Newspaper Article (Older Audiences)

Climate Change in the Greater Mekong Subregion Countries
In recent years, developing member countries of the Greater Mekong Subregion (GMS)
continue to deal with the effects of recurrent disasters. A report released on May 15 by the
Asian Development Bank (ADB) reveals that these disasters are relevant to climate change.
According to this report, the research data suggests that the Subregions ongoing
industrialization and rapid economic growth have already leading to steady emissions
increases. ADB proposes that the relatively recent expansion of human populations and
activities through industrialization, agricultural development, deforestation and the burning of
fossil fuels such as oil, gas and coal, have released much higher quantities of Greenhouse
Gases (GHS) and then influenced the climate.
Speaking on behalf of ADB's researchers in Vientiane, Lao PDR last Friday, Mr
Simelum said that too much carbon emissions have the impact of disrupting the natural
balance of atmospheric gases, creating a general trend of increased heat-trapping and
warming of the Earth's surface.
The report mentions some indications of climate change. First, sea-level rise, due to the
increased input of freshwater from melting snow and ice into the ocean and expanding
volume of warmer water; Secondly, more variability in rainfall, leading to more and stronger
floods, droughts and reduced predictability of seasons; Thirdly, higher temperatures at Earth's
land/sea surfaces; and lastly more acidic oceans as increased CO2 in the atmosphere dissolves
more easily in warmer water.

Moreover, ADB thinks that climate change is a serious problem for GMS countries. The
report points out that for past ten years, the average temperatures in South East Asia has
increased as the sea level has risen. Also, the average annual rainfall in the Mekong River
basin has also increased, mostly from more intense, long duration, less predictable wet
seasons. Meanwhile, the number and severity of droughts and floods increased, affecting a
large quantity of people and causing numerous economic damages.
Disasters caused by climate change make the development member countries continue
to emphasize the need of additional financing for reconstruction, ADB president Takehiko
Nakao said, one of our focus areas is managing risk from natural disasters and climate
change. ADB is devoting to dealing with the problem of climate change of the GMS
countries.

Picture Book (Younger Audiences)

Do you know climate change?

Nowadays, it has become a serious problem. We can notice its bad effects on the
environment. Here are several signs of climate change.

Many people are suffered from high temperatures.

Mr. Sun cannot stand the higher and higher temperatures. He decides to wear the
sunglasses and use the electronic fan, but still feel very hot.

Sea ice is melting at a rapid pace, leading to the sea-level rise.

The poor polar bear stands dangerously on the broken ice. Every day, they live in fear of
losing their home.

Rainfall becomes more changeable, leading to more and stronger floods and droughts.
One day, a strong flood hit Johns hometown; in another place of the world, Mr. Fish is
crying because he is unable to find a river to live.

Because the ocean is turning to acid, animals of the deep sea find their shells are
disappearing. They are trying to ask for help but nobody is saving them.

Now, have you know these signs of climate change?

Lets take care of the Earth, and we believe that our environment will be better.

Writer: Ting Pan

Did Not Meet

Expectations
Translated/Transformed Genres
(Overall)

Younger Genres Conventions and

Rhetorical Factors
Older Genres Conventions and
Rhetorical Factors
Consideration of Big Ideas
in the Scholarly Article
Perceived Effort

Met
Expectations
X+

Exceeded
Expectations

X+
X
X+

X
Self-Analysis Reflection

X+

(Overall)

Description of Moves

X+

Attention to Genre/Conventions
and Rhetorical Factors
Use of Translated Genres
as Evidence of Moves
Use of Course Readings
(McCloud, Losh/Alexander, Etc.)
Sentence-level Clarity, Mechanics,
Flow

X+

Other Comments

X+
X+
X+

Ting,

Wow, what a cool job on your The Signs of Climate

Change piece. I really like how planet Earth has a

thermometer (I think) in its mouth, like it has a

cold/fever. It was very visually-appealing, and I liked
your juxtaposition of images in the rainfall picture. The
captions/storyline made it even better.

The newspaper article was also thorough and met the

conventions of that genre.

I thought your self-analysis was very solid too. If you

decide to improve this for your portfolio, Id like you to
extend it. Perhaps you can address any specific areas
that were tough(er) to think through. You could also
had I dont this instead of that to lead me through
your genre awareness and thought process.

Great work here, Ting.

9.5/10