Application to Date My Daughter

(REVOCABLE AT ANY TIME)

NOTE
This application will be Incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a co
mplete
financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your
doctor.
1. NAME:_____________ DATE OF BIRTH: ________
2. HEIGHT:___________ WEIGHT: ______IQ: ________GPA: ______
3. SOCIAL SECURITY #: ___________DRIVERS LICENSE #: _________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK:_______________________________________
5. HOME ADDRESS: ________________CITY: _________ ZIP ______
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? Yes____ No_______ If NO, explain:
________________________________
7. Number of years parents married: ___________
8. DO YOU OWN A VAN? ____ A TRUCK WITH OVERSIZED TIRES OR CAMPER SHELL? ____ WAT
ERBED?
_____ MOTORCYCLE?
_____ TATOO? ____ COLOR ALTERED HAIR? ___ (IF YES TO ANY PART OF #8, DISCONTINU
E
APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY)
9. In 50 words or less, what does Late mean to you? ______________________________
__
10. In 50 words or less, what does DO NOT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?
________________________
11. In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you? _______________________
____
12. What church do you attend? ________________ How often do you attend? ____/ w
eek
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, priest or past
or?
____________
14. Fill in the blanks: Please answer freely all answers are confidential
(That means I won t tell anyone
I promise):
A. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is in th
e
_____________
B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my _____________
C. A women s place is in the __________________
D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ______________
______
E. When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice is _____________________
(NOTE: If the answer to E begins with a B, T, or A, discontinue and leave the prem
ises
immediately with your head hung low.)
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? _________________________
16. Do you plan to attend a Catholic or Christian College? _________ Which one?
____________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF M
Y KNOWLEDGE
UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION
,
ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.
_____________________ Signature (That means sign your name)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You
will be
contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (th
is action
will void this application). If your application is rejected you will be notifie
d by two
angels wearing red suits and carrying pitch forks. (You might want to start pray
ing now).