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Assignment on Improving Writing

Techniques
Subject Name: Business Communication
Subject Code: BUS 2112

Submitted To:
Md. Kaium Hossain
Assistant Professor
School of Business & Economics (UIU)

Submitted By:
Name
Fyaz Mahbub Rohan
Sudip Kumar Biswas
Md. Musfiqul Islam
Md. Arif Jamal
Al Hakim

ID
114 121 025
114 122 015
111 091 405
111 122 284
111 123 236

Section

UNITED INTERNATIONAL UNIVERSITY


November 28, 2013

Assignment on Improving Writing Techniques

November 28, 2013

Emphasis
1.

Which is more emphatic?


More correct: Our dress code reflects common sense and good taste.

2.

Which is more emphatic?


More correct: A budget increase of $70,000 would enable us to hire two new people.

3.

Which is more emphatic?


More correct: The committee was powerless to act.

4.

Which de-emphasizes the refusal?


More correct: Although our resources are committed to other projects this year, we
hope to be able to contribute to your worthy cause next year.

5.

Which sentence places more emphasis on the date?


More correct: November 30 is the deadline for health benefit changes.

6.

Which is less emphatic?


More correct: One divisions profits decreased last quarter.

7.

Which sentence de-emphasizes the credit refusal?


More correct: Although credit cannot be granted at this time, we welcome your cash
business and encourage you to reapply in the future.

8.

Which sentence gives more emphasis to leadership?


More correct: Jason has many admirable qualities, but most important is his leadership
skill.

9.

Which is more emphatic?


More correct: We notified three departments:
1. Marketing
2. Accounting
3. Distribution

Assignment on Improving Writing Techniques

November 28, 2013

Active Voice
1.

Employees were given their checks at 4 P.M. every Friday by the manager.
Revise: The MANAGER gave employees their checks at 4 P.M. every Friday.

2.

New spices and cooking techniques were tried by McDonalds to improve its
hamburgers.
Revise: To improve its hamburgers, MCDONALDS tried new spices and cooking
techniques.

3.

Our new company logo was designed by my boss.


Revise: My BOSS designed our new company logo.

4.

The managers with the most productive departments were commended by the CEO.
Revise: The CEO commended the managers with the most productive departments.

Passive Voice
1.

The auditor discovered a computational error in the companys tax figures.


Revise: A computational error was discovered by the auditor in the companys tax figures.

2.

We cannot ship your order for ten monitors until June 15.
Revise: Your order for ten monitors cannot be shipped until June 15

3.

Stacy did not submit the accounting statement on time.


Revise: The accounting statement was not submitted by Stacy on time.

4.

The Federal Trade Commission targeted deceptive diet advertisements by weight-loss


marketers.
Revise: Deceptive diet advertisements by weight-loss marketers were targeted by the
Federal Trade Commission.

Parallelism
1.

(Hint: Match adjectives.) To be hired, an applicant must be reliable, creative, and


show enthusiasm.

Assignment on Improving Writing Techniques

November 28, 2013

Revise: To be hired, an applicant must be reliable, creative, and enthusiastic.


2.

(Hint: Match active voice.) If you have decided to cancel our service, please cut your
credit card in half and the pieces should be returned to us.
Revise: If you have decided to cancel our service, please cut your credit card in half
and you should returned the pieces to us.

3.

(Hint: Match verbs.) Guidelines for improving security at food facilities include
inspecting incoming and outgoing vehicles, restriction of access to laboratories,
preventing workers from bringing personal items into food-handling areas, and
inspection of packaging for signs of tampering.
Revise: Guidelines for improving security at food facilities include inspecting
incoming and outgoing vehicles, restricting access to laboratories, preventing workers
from bringing personal items into food-handling areas, and inspecting packaging for
signs of tampering.

4.

(Hint: Match adjectivenoun expressions.) The committee will continue to monitor


merchandise design, product quality, and check the feedback of customers.
Revise: The committee will continue to monitor merchandise design, product quality,
and customers feedback.

5.

(Hint: Match verb clauses.) To use the fax copier, insert your meter, the paper trays
must be loaded, indicate the number of copies needed, and your original sheet
should be inserted through the feeder.
Revise: To use the fax copier, insert your meter, load the paper trays, indicate the
number of copies needed, and insert original sheet through the feeder.

6.

(Hint: match verb phrases.) Our newly hired employee has started using the
computer and to learn her coworkers and names.
Revise: Our newly hired employee has started using the computer and learning

Assignment on Improving Writing Techniques

November 28, 2013

coworkers names.

Redundancies
1.

Because the proposals are exactly identical, we need not check each and every item.
Revise: Because the proposals are identical, we need not check each item.

2.

We will let you know the dollar amount of the remodeling charges.
Revise: We let you know the dollar amount of the remodeling charges.

3.

The office walls were painted beige in color.


Revise: The office walls were painted beige

4.

Our supervisor requested that all team members return back to the office.
Revise: Our supervisor requested that all team members return to the office.

Jargon, Slang, Clichs


1.

If you refer back to our five-year plan, you will see that there are provisions for
preventing blowing the budget.
Revise: Note the proactive budget provisions under the five-year plan.

2.

The food bank was tickled pink with the large donation.
Revise: The food bank was happy with the large donation.

3.

After booming up the computer and activating the printer, Arnie made hard copies
of his business correspondence.
Revise: After turning on the computer and the printer, Arnie printed his business letter.

4.

Although we got burned in the last contract, you can be sure we will stand our
ground this time.
Revise: Despite failure in the previous contract, perseverance can be assured this time.