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Grace Werner
English 101H CRN 83311
Professor McKeever
2 October 2015
Word Count: 666

How to Say Nothing in Five Hundred Words

Paul McHenry Roberts (1917-1967) taught as an English teacher for over twenty years.
He believed that the principles of good writing should remain constant (Roberts) and
demonstrated that in his essay How to Say Nothing in Five Hundred Words. Roberts split that
writing into nine smaller subheadings to make the information easy to navigate and understand.
The first subheading, Avoid Obvious Content, gives insight on how to create a solid
argument. His first advice is to put down any arguments that come immediately to mind. Since
those are the points that first pop into your head, they most likely will pop into the mind of those
reading your writing. Because of this, the reader will likely become bored and find your piece of
work to be repetitive and dull.
The second subheading is entitled, Take the Less Usual Side. Roberts gives the advice
to take the side of the argument that most of the citizens will want to avoid. (Roberts) By
taking the side that may seem to be the hardest or least defensible, your writing will be unique.
Also, the majority of the time, it will turn out to be easier to write interestingly.

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Slip out of Abstraction is the third subheading and it plainly explains that a good writer
will not just tell something, but instead he will show it. Its always important to remember to
always seek for the picture, and to turn general remarks into seeable examples.
Get Rid of Obvious Padding is the fourth subheading. Roberts urges writers to aim high
and get rid of any extra padding that may be in their writing. He uses words like lean and
tough to describe the kind of sentences that will be valuable in ones writing. Although at many
times, student writers are only focused on the amount of words that are needed, Roberts
encourages them to dig up real content, figure out the details, and illustrate.
The fifth subheading is titled Call a Fool a Fool. The main idea of this section is that a
writer should decide what they want to say and then say it without apology and in plain words.
Many people shrink away from touchy subjects like death by using phrases such as he passed
away or he left us. Roberts gives the advice of refraining from using such round about phrases
which could take away from the impact of your writing.
Beware of Pat Expressions is the sixth subheading. Roberts states that it is important to
stay away from pieces of common thought floating in the community soup (Roberts), such as
clichs. Although phrases such as those may add words to your paper, they do not add any extra
meaning.
The seventh subheading is titled Colorful Words. A colorful word is a word that is
used to produce a picture or induce an emotion. For example, instead of saying it was hot,
Roberts implores writers to use words such as blistering, sultry, muggy, suffocating. Although
colorful words can add to your writing, be careful! If the writer becomes too colorful, the
audience will be likely to giggle.

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The eighth subheading, Colored Words explains what a colored word is. Roberts says
that some words are loaded with associations, good or bad. (Roberts) Simply put, when we
hear a word, we hear with it an echo of all the situations in which we have heard it before.
(Roberts) For example, the word mother has a feeling of warmth; it is agreeable to the reader.
On the other hand, the phrase mother-in-law may have an unpleasant connotation to some.
Finally, the ninth subheading is Colorless Words. Roberts states that colorless words
are those of such general meaning that, in a particular sentence, they mean nothing. (Roberts)
Words such as cool tend to be overused and applied to everything. Because of that, they lose
their original force and die quickly.