JoshuaPangilinan

Period6
NarrativeEssayGenderAwareness

Inlifegrowingupwasthebestexperience.Ididntknowmuch,soIwasexcused
ondoingthewrongthings.Growingupasalittleboywithtwooldersister,amother,
andafatherthatworkedmostofthetime,lifewasinteresting.Ididnotwonderonthe
differencesofbeingaboyoragirltimeisdifferentwhenpeopleareyoung.Myfather
alwayswasdifferentfromthewomenofthefamily.
Myfathercameuptomeonedayandsaid:
Josh!Comehere,Itellyousomething
Yes,dad?Irepliedquestionly.
Iwantyoutogrowupbigandstronglikeme.
Iwantyoutobedifferentfromyoursisters,youarenotlikethem
Notalike?
oo,IneedyoutogrowupdifferentlythanyourateJeanandyourateLorraine
Ok?Fromallthetimesthatmyparentswouldalwaystellmethatpeoplearethe
sameandequaltooneanother,Ineededtobedifferentfrommysisters?
Josh,alamkoikawaylumalakiupparin
Huh?
Howyousay?
Youstillyoung,stillgrowing
oh,ok

Istartedtorealizebeingaboywaswaymoredifferentthangrowingupasagirl,
atleastthatiswhatIthink.Outsidewithmydadwewouldtalkwhilewedidyardwork.
Iasked:Whyarentmyateshelping?
Becausetheydontlikeanddontneedtomydadreplied
Itsourjob
Our?Whatdotheydoinsidethen
IdontknowJosh
Itsnotfair!Whycantheystayinsideandwatchtvwhileweworkoutside!
Joshcalmdown,peoplehavedifferentjobsintheworldandthisisoursasa
familia
okDifferentjobs?Idontwanttomowalawnfortherestofmylife.Whatdidmy
dadmeanbyhavingdifferentjobsintheworld.
YouhavetobeabletodothiswhenItellyouorwhenImnothome.
Yourmomandateswilldependonyou,whenImnothere,todoallthesethings
OkIsomewhatunderstand.IstillneverunderstoodwhyIhadtodomostofit,
butIhadtoleaveitasisbeforemydadgetsmadatme.Fromtheremyjobwastogrow
upasamanandtobethemanwhenmydadwasntthere.Duringthattime,inmyeyes,
growingupasaboylookedlikeittookmoreeffort.
ThemoreandmoretimesmydadtaughtmeoncertainthingsthemoreIrealized
Iwastheboy.WhenmydadandIhadtimewewouldtalktoeachother.Somewherein
theconversationwestartedtotalkaboutthegenderdifference.

Hequoted:
SeeJosh,yourmomandatesaretakingforever
Yeah,IguessIreplied
Theyneedtoputmakeuponwhilewewait
Huh?whydotheyputmakeupandnotjustwearjeansandashirt
Hmmm,dontnilamadali
Huh?
Uh,themnotsimple
oh,sotheyarentsupposetoAregirlsreallythatdifferentindressing
themselves,Ithought.
oo
Isee,Iguess,whyarewesodifferentfromthemdad?
Wearenotalldifferent
Itsjustthewaywedress,act,talk,andarebuilt
Thatsalotofdifferences
Walakoalamangalinmanngunithinahayaanpumuntalamangsakungpaano
nabatangbabaeatlalakiaymagkaibangunitkatulad
Howyousay?Uh,Wearedifferentbutthesame,evenmedontknow
Ok,sowewilljustgowiththat?
oo
Youbeliketheminschool,growsmartandgotoLanelikethem,butdontbelike
actingordresslikethem,rememberJosh.
Ok,Ok.IwillstudyhardandbewelleducatedHowever,thatwasntthecase.I
didgotohighschoolbutnotexactlywherehewantedmetogo.Hewasteachingme
howtobeaboyandnotagirl,andthatIhadtobethemanofthehousesomeday.
Everythingmydadwouldtellme,evenwhatmymotherwouldsayIstartslowly
gettingwhyIhadtobedifferentfrommysisters.Islowlyhadtostayawayfrommy
sistersandgivethemspaceforthemtobethemtherefore,Ihadtogivemyselfspace
formetobeme.MysistersandIdidnthavethesameinteresteither.Forexample,they
hadtheirmakeuportheyhadthemselvestodressupwithandIhadmyvideogamesor
legostoplaywithwheneverIgotbored.Iwasalwaysintoplayingvideogameswhile
theywerealwaysintodifferentthings.
WhenIgrewintothe6thor7thgrade,Ifinallyfullyunderstoodwhatthe
differencebetweenthemasculineandfemininegenderwasmoreover,Iknewwhatrole
inlifeIwantedandhadtotake.Iwasthemasculinegenderandmysisterwasthe
femininegenderofthefamily.Irespectedmyselfandmysistersforbeingtheopposite
gender.Irespectedhowtheyhadtodotheirgirl/womenthingsandhowIhadtodo
boy/manthings.Ifullyidentifiedthedifferencebetweenagirlandaboy.Thefeeling
feltreasonablelikeyoufinallygottheproblemthateveryoneistryingtosolveorgetting
thejokethattookawhiletoget.Onlythatthiswasn'tajoke,itwasreality.Ifeltthat
everythingmadesenseandthatnoteverythingwillbethesameorhowanyonewants
it.GenderisbasedonhowsomeonecandescribethemselvesandIcanfullysaythatI
amthemalegenderandmysistersarethefemalegender.