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EmilyVahs
Mrs.Rutan
APLIteratureandComposition
4October2015
GoodGrief
Pen,wheredidyougo?
Iswearyouwerejustherestillhere.
Everyone'shandiseffortlesslyglidingautensilacrossthepage,
butIamalone.
Ihearthescritchscratchingaroundme
yetIcan'tfeelthevibrationsrunningupmyfingers,
theyarebareandgrowingsoft.
Ihavelookedeverywherethatmightpossiblyholdyoursmoothplasticcasing,
butyouaregone.

Nowmyinsidesareboilingwithrage.
IfyouwerehereIwouldprobablysnapyouintwo,
butifyouwereherewewouldn'tbeinthismesswouldwe?
Myhandsareturningclammy,
myfeetarecontinuouslyfidgeting.
Icanfeelmyinternaltemperatureriseandmyfaceturnaripeshadeofred.
Thepersonnexttomeglancesoverthenquicklyaway.


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Heknowsthepain.

WhatifIhadwatchedyoucloser?
IfonlyIhadkeptmyeyeonyou...ifonly.
Icouldhavebroughtabackup,
butthebackupjustisn'tyou.
ThewhatifsarepilinguplikesnowflakesinthemiddleofJanuary.
HowdoIgoon?

Iputmyheaddownagainstthecooldesk,
There'snopointintryinganymore.
You'vebeengoneforalmost12minutesnow,andeverythinglooksdim.
Myeyesaregettingwateryandandatearslowlyrunsdownmyface.
Itfallsoffthetipofmynoseontothespotwhereyoushouldbe.
Lifewon'tbethesamewithoutyoulittlebuddy.

ManwhatwasIthinking?
Itwasonlyapen.
FinalsarestressingmeoutsomuchIcried...overapen.

Reflection


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Theapostrophepoemtitled"GoodGrief"thatIwroteisasatiricalpieceonthefive
stagesofgrief.Thepoemissupposedtoshowtheamountofstresschildrengothrough
atschool,butalsoshowhowsomekidscanoverexaggerateverycommoneveryday
situations.
Thefirstportionisbasedonthefirststageofgrievingwhichisdenial.Itriedtomake
itfeellikethestudentstillthinksthattheyhaven'tlosttheirpen,andthateverythingis
alright.Theyhaven'tcometotermsyetwithwhathasactuallyhappened,andare
denyingthatanythingbadhashappened.Thestudentthenlosestheircoolwhiletrying
toconvincethemselvesthateverythingisok.Iusedauditoryimagery,havingthe
protagonistsay"Ihearthescritchscratchingaroundme"(5),tohelpshowthe
lonelinessandisolationthattheyarefeeling.Alltheotherstudentshavetheirwriting
utensils,butthestudenthimselfisleftemptyhanded.
Thesecondstanzaisfocusedonanger.Usuallyastudentwouldonlyhave
themselvestoblamewhentheyloseapen,sotherefortheywouldbemadat
themselves,butinthispoemthestudentismadattheactualpen.Thisshowshowthe
studentissortofdelirious.Idecidedtousealotofvisualimageryinthisportion
becauseangerisaveryoutsideemotion.Whenangrywedon'tthinkclearly,soby
usingtheleastcomplexsenseitrepresentstheshallownessoftheemotion.
Thenextsectionisbasedonthethirdstageofgrievingwhichisbargaining.This
stageiswheremostpeopleblamethemselvesoraskquestionsthathavenoanswers
like"whatifs"and"Icouldhaves".Thestudentisoverexaggeratingalotbynowand
hascometotermswiththefactthattheirpenisgone.Thisstanzaismostlyquestions,


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butIdiduseasimiletoshowallthequestionsthestudentisfloodedwith.Thiscanbe
seeninthephrase"thewhatifsarepilinguplikesnowflakesinthemiddleofJanuary"
(22).Ileavethesectionwithanopenendedquestiontoshowhowdistraughtthe
studentis.
Thefourthstanzaisaboutdepression.Thenameofthisstageisselfexplanatory,
butneverthelessitisanimportantpartofthegrievingprocess.Thisstanzarevolves
aroundtheeyessaying"everythinglooksdim"(26),and"myeyesaregettingwatery"
(27).Alargepartwithdepressioniscomingtotermswithreality,andthisnotonly
invokesalotofcrying,butalsorepresentsthestudentseeingclearerthanbefore.The
studentpullsoutthewaterworksanddramagalore,allbeforethelaststageofgrieving,
whichisacceptance.
WhilewritingaboutthestudentsacceptanceIdecidedtowriteinamorehumorous
waytocontrastwiththeotherwisedramaticpoem.Thestudentfinallyrealizestheway
thattheywereactingwassillyandthattheoverreactedtoasimpleissue.Theellipsein
line32helpsshowtheselfrealizationofthestudent.Theacceptancerepresentedinthe
stanzaislessofthelossoftheirpen,andmoreoftheacceptancefortheirridiculous
behavior.Ichosetokeepthisstanzashorttohelpshowthequickmaturingofthe
studentandtheshiftintheirthinking.
InmypoemIcoveredthefivestagesofgriefinahumorousway,sothatwecan
laughatthewaystresscanaffectus.Iusedseveraltypesofimageryandotherliterary
devicestokeepthepoeminteresting.Hopefullythereadercanhaveagoodlaughat
thestudentandmaybeeventhemselves.


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