Running head: CHILDS SELF IDENTITY

The Impact of Single Parent Homes on a Childs Self Identity

Katie Morgan
The University of Memphis

CHILDS SELF IDENTITY

The Impact of Single Parent Homes on a Childs Self Identity
Starting from birth, parents impact a child. A childs growth and development greatly
depend on his parents actions, whether the actions have a positive or negative impact. Included
in growth and development is the development of a childs self identity. Therefore, parents shape
how a child sees himself and measures his self value. Parents naturally have an impact on how a
child will see himself as a member of society. In some family situations, the child grows and
develops in a home with only one parent rather than two parents. For various cases, like death of
a parent or a negative divorce, single parent homes have a different impact on a childs self
identity than two parent homes.
As a child grows and develops, he starts to explore the meaning of things including the
meaning of himself. He will naturally ask himself who am I? The question who am I? leads
to the exploration of self. Ultimately the knowledge of self leads to ones identity (Windsor,
Murrell, & Mabel-Jackson, 2015). Windsor et al. says that identity is an inward view of the
self (2015). Self identity is who a person is and how he views himself in society. Every person
develops some form of self identity. Some people will develop a positive self identity, and some
people will develop a negative self identity. However, eventually everyone will come to terms
with how he views himself as a member of society. Developing some form of self identity is
inevitable.
The are many things that influence identity. One of the main influences of self identity is
interactions with other people and the environment. More importantly, parents have a huge
impact of a childs self identity because parents are who children are first aware of. In general,
parents are there for the child at the beginning and help the child grow and develop especially
during the crucial early stages of life. Along with family support, being apart of a family helps a

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child develop a sense of belonging (Ccelolu, 2002). According to Mesut and Mustafa (2014), a
family has biological, psychological, and sociological functions in the world. Having the
consciousness of belonging to a family helps a child interact with society in a positive manner.
Also, belonging to a family affects a childs ego, mental health, and self esteem, whether it is in a
positive way or negative way. In general, when a child has a family with two parents, the childs
self esteem will be higher. When a child primarily lives with only one parent at a time, the childs
self esteem seems to be lower than children with two parents at home. Even though this is not
always the case, it is the most common outcome.
There are multiple reasons why a child may only live with one parent, but the two most
common reasons are death and divorce. Even though there are numerous other reasons why
children may have to grow up in one parent homes, the following research and information
focuses on single parent homes due to death of a parent and parents divorcing from negative
reasons. One research completed by Mesut and Mustafa (2014) examines assertiveness and selfrespect levels of children who come from single parent homes and whole family homes. This
research found that children who come from single parent homes have lower self esteem than
children who come from two parent homes.
Tarhan (2011) says losing a parent from death affects the child psychologically. The child
feels abandoned and may develop some form of anxiety (Koak, 2007). Death makes a child feel
abandoned because that parent is no longer on Earth. No matter what, a child cannot see or talk
to that parent anymore. There is nothing a child can do to bring back a parent from death. The
child must come to terms with death and continue on with life. Moving forward is often hard,
and a child may struggle with identifying who he is because he feels lost without his parent with
him anymore. Dowdney (2000) says that it is common for a child who loses a parent because of

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death to struggle in school and develop low self-esteem. The child may think that he is not
worthy enough to have two parents. The feeling of abandonment may make the child think that
he is worth less than what he actually is; the child may also feel less important as a functioning
member of society. As a result, the child has a negative self identity.
However, according to zgven (2000), divorce affects a child more than death because
divorces takes more time to recuperate from. Amato and Booth (1991) say that children with
divorced parents encounter more unfavorable experiences than children who lose a parent to
death. In todays society, most divorces happen from unfavorable events/feelings between the
parents, and the child has no say in the divorce. In some cases, the child may even blame himself
for his parents separating when in fact it has nothing to do with the child, but the child does not
see it that way. Since the parents have decided not to be one family anymore, the child loses the
feeling of belonging. As a result, the child not only feels abandoned, but he feels loss and anger
as well. For some divorces, the child must go back and forth between parents on a regular basis,
and that can cause the child to feel confused or frustrated. In other cases, the child only sees one
parent and rarely see the other parent. That could also cause the child to feel confused and
frustrated. Since the child has a lot of tough times to deal with, the child may start to become
discouraged with his environment and living situation. He sees his self value worth less than
children who live in two parent homes. The child with divorced parents sees other children with
their parents still together and may see those children as better since they are still apart of one
family. The child with divorced parents once had one family, but now he basically has two
separate families. He loses the feeling of belonging against his will. As the journey of adjusting
to divorced parents continues, the child may seem more assertive or problematic as he deals with

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his parents separation. In general, a child with divorced parents from negative events tend to see
his self value worth less, which results in a negative self identity.
On the contrary, Joy Parkinson, Danielle Gallegos, and Rebekah Russell-Bennett (2016)
studied infant feeding as it relates to self identity. The researches asked twenty-four parenting
couples individually why they chose to breastfeed. Overall, all the parents agreed that a childs
sense of self identity comes from everyday interactions (Parkinson, Gallegos, & Russell-Bennett
(2016). Breastfeeding is one of the first available interactions with others, so many parents think
it is vital for development of a positive self identity. The parents in this research all agreed that
parent interaction with their child impacted his self identity, whether in a positive way or
negative way. Whether parents want to admit it or not, they play a crucial role in their childs
development of self identity. Children see their parents as role models and usually get their first
sense of self worth through their parents. If a parent is not around because of death, the child
may feel like he is not worthy enough to have two parents. As a result, the child feels unworthy
and develops a weak self identity. He may see himself as someone in the background and no
one that is important. On the other hand, if a child still has two parents but the parents are no
longer together, the child may blame himself for his parents separating. The may feel guilty for
splitting up his family. Once again, he child sees himself as worthless and develops a negative
self identity. In both cases of death and divorce, the family is not complete, so the child feels like
he does not belong anywhere.
In general, children get a sense of belonging from being apart of a family with both
parents. When one parent is absent from the picture, children start to experience the feeling of
abandonment. Feeling abandoned can cause a child to develop a negative self identity. When a
child from a single parent home is asked the question Who am I? he is likely to answer the

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question with a response similar to someone who is not good enough to have two parents or
no one important. Overall, children from single parent homes because of death or divorce are
likely to develop a negative self identity because they do not feel like they belong to a family and
feel abandoned by the parent who is no longer in the picture. However, not all children from
single parent homes will develop a negative self identity. In some situations, it is actually better
that one parent is absent (there are multiple reason why this could be), and the child essentially
develops a positive self identity.
Nonetheless, it is very common for children who primarily live with one parent at a time
to not realize his full potential. It is likely that he will underestimate his self worth; he will not
value his self worth as high as he should. Many things impact self identity, but a childs parents
possibly have the strongest impact on him as he figures out who he is as a person. The feeling of
belonging to a family and not feeling abandoned are very important aspects in the development
of self identity. Therefore, it is important for children to grow up in a family with two loving and
caring parents in order for him to recognize his fullest potential and see himself as a worthy
member of society.

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References
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Ccelolu, D. (2002). nsan ve davran. stanbul: Remzi Kitabevi.
Dowdney, L. (2000). Childhood bereavement parental death. Journal of child psychology and
psychiatry and allied disciplines, 41 (7), 819-830. http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/14697610.00670.
Koak, B. (2007). lmn ocuk zerindeki etkileri, Milliyet Blog
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Mesut, D. & Mustafe, O. (2014). The examination of the assertiveness levels and selfrespect of adolescents with single parent and whole family. International Online Journal
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zgven, . E. (2000). Evlilik ve aile terapisi. Ankara: PDREM Yaynlar.
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Windsor, D. L., Murrell, V.S., & Mabel-Jackson, S. (2015). Lifespan developed: An educational
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