Yuliya Grebneva

WARM UP YOURSELF
I am sorry! I apologize! Excuse me! I will not be able to fall asleep without your
forgiveness We hear these phrases on a daily basis. We say them automatically if something
awkward happens. You stepped on someones foot oh, my apologies; or you interrupted
somebody oh, I am sorry; I did not mean to do that. These are ways to be polite, even if the
person you stepped on deserved to be stepped on, we still say we are sorry. This is how
mommy and daddy raised us if we have done something wrong we need to apologize.
Sometimes we do not want someone elses apology; sometimes we want to boil in our
anger and pain because it protects us from even bigger pain, we think. How many times have
we heard something like dont say sorry just dont do it again. But we want to say sorry; we
want to be forgiven because it is unbearable to be eaten from the inside by our consciousness.
We do not want to hear this voice inside of us bugging us about the bad things we have done.
Everyone in the world has something to regret, something he or she would have liked not to do,
and something he or she would have turned back if it was possible. We all have something we
are ashamed of, something we dont like to think about or to be reminded of, but everything is
well kept in the Department of Memory which is situated in our Brain.
Human brain is an empty loft which you can stuff with anything. The fool does exactly
that puts there useful and useless, says Sherlock Holmes in Russian movie series The
Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. Memory is a complicated system with a bunch
of shelves, bookcases, thumb-drives, floppy discs, CDs, and DVDs in it. We tend to be saving
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Comment [YG1]: Ive always thought this

beginning was catchy. I think, Flower and
Hayes would agree here. Fulkerson would
reference formalism, telling me, Yuliya, you
gotta put that in quotes.
Comment [Y2]: The ambiguous you, then
switch to we. Revise.
Comment [YG3]: This, Fulkerson would tell
me to put in quotes, to follow the form.
Comment [YG4]: I really want to change this
to mom and dad because we are grownups
here, and Im writing for a grown up audience.
So , Flower& Hayes, Anson, & Sommers
would be like, Yuliya, with these words you
sound a bit sarcastic, so if you are not being
that, change the words.
Comment [Y5]: I use a collectivistic
pronoun for the rest of the paper. Cultural.
Shen discusses ideological differences that
also affect writing: individualistic v.
collectivistic. It ties in with Harris and his
discussion of discourse communities: how
they affect the way we see the world and,
hence, write about it.
Comment [YG6]: Howards Design
Matters I am a bit disturbed by my use of
both italics and quotation marks. Should pick
just quotation marks, for there is a purpose
for each.
Comment [YG7]: This has to be a new
paragraph. And its an obvious topic sentence.
Shens English self would say, way to go girl
:D
Comment [YG8]: My Senior self wants to
change the word for located. My Freshman
self, probably couldnt think of a better
synonym. According to Williams and Flower &
Hayes, extensive reading improves writing.
Nancy Sommers would be like, Did you revise
and edit? Sure thing, Nancy. :D
Comment [YG9]: Transition is to my liking
here. I look and feel organized (Framework
for Success)
Comment [YG10]: This is the They say/ I say
format
Comment [YG11]: Howard, Design
Matters. I knew I could underline titles but
italics would look / serve better for this
purpose.

Yuliya Grebneva
everything and putting it in farther drawers where we sort of forget about the existence of
some stuff, but unexpectedly find it dusty, dingy, and scratched over the years. It is like finding
an old diary and reading about people we liked, dramas we had, success we shared with
beloved ones, tears we shed on someones chest or on a pillow. We recall feelings, emotions;
we get chills, we get our heart pacing faster and drum in the ears louder. Suddenly we want to

Comment [YG12]: Funny that I still

remember looking for a word, and I found this
one. Sommers Thesaurus philosophy of
writing I never used this word again, even
forgot what it meant. This also toes in with
Williams Grammar and Writing without
practicing to use this word when I learned it, I
dont have it in my vocabulary now.

call people we lost connection with; we want to find them on Facebook and start talking again.
We want to explain ourselves; we want to say sorry for things we have done to ruin the
relationship. Yes, we want the forgiveness. Give us this day our daily bread,[c] 12 and forgive us
our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors (Matthew 6:9-13) we whisper in the night

Comment [Y13]: Mixing up MLA & APA =

Design Matters by Howard.

Why are we thirsty for forgiveness? Is it easy to forgive? We fall asleep with these questions.
The whole idea of forgiveness is not easy but strange in a way. It is easier to forgive than

Comment [Y14]: I see what Im doing here

with transition, and it works!

to let pain and sorrow gnaw our insides, to chew on every nerve, every cell of every muscle. We
forgive not for the sake of the person who is repenting, but for us. To forgive is like to start
again; it is like coming up to the surface of cold water and taking a breathand getting out of it!
The warmth flows through the body very quickly, and it is as soft as velvet. Forgiveness feels
very similar to that. It is warm and thick like gluhwein, it runs through our veins filling them
with warmth and comfort and peace.
It takes a lot of strength and bravery to come to this peace. When the world seems to be
against you, when you feel like everything fell apart, blew up and shattered in the dust, we find

Comment [Y15]: Same transition pattern.

Cant get over it I like it :D
Sommers experienced writers would tell me
to not fall in love with the writing for there is
always something to improve.

the power to forgive. The spouse who betrayed and humiliated can be forgiven. This is another
challenge from Heaven you have to go through. Think about all the complications you went
through together, hand in hand. You have promised to have and to hold, from this day
forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and
cherish until death do you part.

Comment [Y16]: Ummm my audience here

is not necessarily religious but I give this
example because it is easy to connect the
Bible and forgiveness.

Yuliya Grebneva
When part wants to forgive and mind does not understand WHY, we need to consider
the medical benefits of forgiveness. When our heart has been told to shut up by logic it
means that logic must be satisfied as much as possible to come to consensus with our heart.
First of all, the study from Journal of Behavioral Medicine found that forgiveness lowers blood
pressure and heart rate and brings stress relief. It means that our motor is not exposed to

Comment [Y17]: Awkward transition. I see

the rhetorical triangle discussed by Fleming:
pathos is in the paragraph above, logos this
one, and my ethos Im citing a journal.
Comment [Y18]: Rewording needed. Peer
review of the draft would have been great ( I
probably have gone through one) but
Sommers would have encouraged to have a
couple more.

breakdown as much. Forgiveness is also associated with five measures of health such as
physical symptoms, medications used, sleep quality, fatigue, and somatic complaints, which
showed later study. It gives a better idea of what forgiveness does to our organism and what
happens if we keep pain and anger inside. The third study published in the Personality and
Social Psychology Bulletin, showed that forgiveness restores the relationship and brings it to the
previous positive state. (http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/a/forgiveness.htm) It is
much better to stay warm inside and hold a friend than to hold grudge. Grudges increase the
risk of alcohol abuse, expose us to screwing up more relationships; they bring depression and
insomnia, unlike a friend who brings cookies, laughter and good time after thinking about
everything that needed to be figured out.

Comment [Y19]: which (the?) later study

showed sounds better.
Nancy Sommers and revisions! I havent come
back to this paper in at least 2.5 years, and
thats what experienced writers do. I think I
could potentially turn it into a better paper.
Comment [Y20]: This belongs on Works
Cited page, and not just the link but a proper
citation. MLA=form (Fulkerson)
=commonplace (Barholomae & Harris).
Comment [Y21]: Freshman Yuliya punning
here :D :D Years later, still loving it :D
Framework & creativity.
Comment [Y22]: Slang? I guess it can be
considered codeswitching: inserting a slang
construction into a scientifically-academic
paragraph.

It takes a lot of time to think and get ready to forgive someone. We should consider the
importance of this forgiveness in our lives,; we need to analyze the effect of forgiveness, and

Comment [Y23]: Fulkersons formalists: a

colon belongs here.

whenever we are ready to move on, we need to move on and not play the role of a victim.
When grudges are let go, we might even get understanding and compassion.
We dont naturally flow with mercy, forgiveness and compassion. It takes a lot of power
to forgive. We act out of self-protection when we have been hurt. We dont want to humble
ourselves. Instead we go on top of the mountain called I-Am-Here-the-Insulted-One, that
mountain where its cold and isolated, and we become isolated from those who hurt us. We
isolate ourselves from the sunlight of love and kindness. Even if we cant love persons who hurt

Comment [Y24]: Im a Queen of transitions

here, I recon. :D AND its a nice topic
sentence. Shen would give me thumbs up
here.
Comment [Y25]: Couldnt resist, & broke it
down into two sentences. It was too wordy.
Framework & persistence improve and
refine your work.

Yuliya Grebneva
us and let us down, even if we dont want to have anything in common with them anymore, its
best to forgive and let it go, so that we dont waste ourselves. Forgiveness isolates us from the
pain in a sense way; it gives freedom to continue the journey of life. It is like reading an
unworthy book and moving on to another instead of wasting time on it.
Forgiveness, though, is not a waste of time. It cures. It doesnt necessarily bring
everything back it is our choice to have a relationship after forgiving. Sometimes it is easier to
forgive without even having a conversation; it is easier to just to let go, to realize that it does
not make sense to keep it with us, on us. Like snakes shed and let old covers go, we should do
the same. Our souls, consciousness, memories and feelings shed old layers so that we can

Comment [Y26]: Better word. I am thinking

about rhetoric and metacognition
(Framework + Fleming) here because of
writing about such abstract concept as
forgiveness.
Comment [Y27]: Still carrying on with these
transitions. By revising & editing (Sommers
would have approved :D) and adding
though, I made this transition work better
than it did. It still seems a bit artificial but not
nearly as much, I think.
Comment [Y28]: Standard English. Wheeler
& Swords talked about SE. Not like this
adjustment that I just made makes much
difference, but for academic SE, I should make
it.

renew ourselves by forgiving.

Give us this day our daily bread,[c] 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven
our debtors, we whisper in the night rolled up in blankets warming up our bodies and souls

Comment [Y29]: I am cringing a bit here

due to another just Christian reference
(Framework & critical thinking).
Upon further revision, Id do some research
and see how Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus
(maybe even some sects) think about
forgiveness. Then Id combine all that
knowledge and write the final paragraph that
is more audience-inclusive (Flower & Hayes,
Sommers) for an academic discourse
community (Harris, Bartholomae).