Jin Sol Kim

HTM 480
Professor Testa
February 22, 2015
Leader Shadow
From the first moment of contacting my industry leader, Patti Parrish, to the end of
shadowing, my entire experience was full of splendid moments to observe and discover an
industry leader's leadership. Patti Parrish is Senior Account Executive at Kuoni Destination
Management Inc. and also San Diego chapter president of MPI (Meeting Professionals
International). She has been actively involved with MPI for about 9 years. Her career path has
actually begun at Behind the Scenes Catering and Event Management where Patti found herself
as an enthusiastic, and passionate hospitality personnel with invaluable first step into the
industry. After spending a day with Patti, I noticed that she is not only a great leader, but also a
great mentor and industry professional to follow, and be inspired.
On February 18th 2015, Patti and I first met at the ticket box of Birch Aquarium where
SDMPI Board Meeting and Spring Fundraiser were held at on the same day. There is monthly
board meeting for SDMPI where new, and current directors of different committees gather to
discuss and address issues, and ideas about the organization and Spring Fundraiser took part of
the meeting along with big success of winter fundraiser. Before meeting Patti, I was very nervous
because I was expecting and picturing typical charismatic and bold leader who does not allow
any toleration, but my whole perception has been changed right after she said Hello Jin! with a
big smile on her face. At that moment, I did not introduce myself but she already knew my name
from previous email conversation and called my name and that action really relieved my tension.

Not only calling me by my name but also she thanked me for shadowing her and taking time to
observe what SDMPI does. Warm welcome with her appreciation showed her way of building
trust, and relationship and professionalism as an industry leader who is willing to take extra
effort in mentoring prospective meeting planner. When I first encountered the group of directors,
an ambience of the room was filled with laughs and energy. Patti introduced me to the whole
group and even introduce me who they are, what they are responsible for within SDMPI, and
what they are great about. This also showed me another way that she builds connection between
new and old relationship so that everyone feels welcome and attached. It was my first time
meeting them and being in the meeting, but I never felt detached from the meeting. For example,
not only me but there were also two new directors on the board and Patti would take time to
explain what we discuss about, how it works, and how previous director had approached the
project. I felt that her communication style and continuous effort in engaging everyone on the
same page were noticeable takeaway.
During the break, I interviewed Amanda Mulder, Director of Human Resources at
SDMPI, on how she sees Patti's communication style and she commented that Patti is "direct and
clear," which allows the group to expedites the procedure and become more efficient in time
management and build trust because of her honesty and straightforward point. Amanda also
mentioned that all the staff can have clear vision of Patti's expectation and values when she
addresses in direct conversation but sometimes it can be unsuitable and leaders have to be careful
on this because people have different ways of perceiving direct words and might be impacted
negatively. At that moment, I reached to a lesson that leader needs to be active, and clear in
communication, but also be able to balance the tone so that no one grasp wrong intention. Most
likely it can impact the relationship at the same time. I'm not comfortable with direct and

straightforward words when it's needed because I'm afraid of hurting others' feelings. I had said
something direct before and that person grasped my intention in different way and spread rumors
about me which eventually resulted no trust in me in the public. Even though it was not a
pleasant experience, but it is something I need to work on and improve by thinking before
actually saying it out loud so that I make judgment on what to say and be reasonable.
During the board meeting, each director reported current status of the committee and
items they were assigned so that everyone is aware of the status and perhaps help each other.
After the meeting, Patti sat down with two new directors and talked about how they felt about the
meeting. One of them was senior age professional and she expressed difficulty in getting used to
new SDMPI mobile application discussed during the meeting. Patti was actively receiving
feedback and expressed her interest in helping them out by asking Melissa, Director of
Communications at SDMPI, to go over the new application for them and let them try on by
themselves. I was able to observe the way Patti treats older staffs; not leaving them behind but
helping them to overcome the difficulty in respectful way. Also her action demonstrated chains
of cycle; taking feedback, training by asking expert to demonstrate, and developing relationship
by showing support. Before the leader shadow, I thought that leaders do not consider others'
feedback seriously because they are arrogant and feel like they have more power than others, but
once again, my perception on this has changed when Patti asked others' opinion, took it seriously,
and took an action to provide solution. Be ready to take comments and take care of it. To be
honest, I did not see myself open to the feedback, and evaluation but Patti's openness motivated
me to become an approachable leader for growths and positive changes.
Another strength I noticed from Patti was that she was always complementing individuals
in a customized way. I interviewed Marlene, Director of Education, who recently took the

position, about what Pattis leadership is like and she answered that [Patti] expresses her
appreciation of individuals hard working and consistent support for her as a team. When
something is done, she thanks individuals accomplishment in public so that everyone can
encourage a person with high praise. Not only towards her team members, but also outside
vendors and volunteers were complimented when it was appropriate and she kept showing her
appreciation by giving credit for amazing decoration of the event, great food provided by the
vendor, and industry professionals attended during the fundraiser. If someone has an intrinsic
value such as supporting others and completing task on time, that person will be more likely to
be motivated and inspired to keep their good work because their value has been met the goal.
Throughout the leader shadow, I noticed the power of positive words and would like to express
my gratitude and support to my team when its needed more freely as a leader.
Building trust by admitting mistake and promising future action was also vivid during the
meeting and the event. For example, Patti had a conversation with a student volunteer who
usually participate at MPI event. Student brought up the past conversation they had at the
previous event and asked if Patti has done student asked to do but she didnt remember it.
Therefore, she took her time to apologize for her mistake, and ignorance and that moment really
showed her genuine apology toward others for not keeping the promise. I did not understand
what their promise was so I dont have full context of what happened, but I was still able to see
how she was building a relationship and trust with the student volunteer. It is not easy to admit
and apologize for ones mistake and Patti showed no hesitation on this. Patti stated that I listen
the full story so that I dont misunderstand others and it plays key role in building a relationship.
Double check before you assume it and ask back if I do not understand it. She learned it from
her past experience when she made a mistake as a leader on not listening to the full story and

making assumption based on her own opinion. I was very surprised to hear this because this is
something I easily do; making assumption from my own idea. I absolutely agreed on her point. I
regretted myself not paying attention to what other people say and this is another thing I really
need to work on; listening the whole story and make decision after!
I had an image of dictator, or queen on Patti before doing a leader shadow, however, she
is friendly, and open-minded mentor/leader. Now I understand why the conference room was full
of laughs and energy; they were like a family and friend to help each other. No discrimination
toward age, title, and anything. My misconception of industry leader has broken apart and now I
have a totally new concept about what leader is and should be like. Because of my previous
misconception about the leader in only charismatic way leaning toward extreme Theory X type, I
felt the leader shadow project will not be a pleasant or comfortable experience and was actually
scared to spend hours with industry leader. However, observing and realizing completely
different type of leader, I thought my anxiety was not necessary at all. Sharing your expectation,
giving feedback, communicating in clear and apparent way, complementing and showing
appreciation for individuals hard work are critical components in collaborative team
management and I believe it is essential to leaders to acquire. Im not saying that Theory Y type
of leader is better but balancing between Theory X and Y is compelling competency indeed and I
really need to work on finding myself where I stand and how I can even out. In addition, talking
to staffs who work with Patti projected advantage of appreciating different perspectives on ones
leadership and how important it is to hear from different people with different opinion. As
Amanda mentioned, sometimes Pattis direct words can unintentionally impact others in
unpleasant way and there are a lot of opportunities and ways that she can work on and improve
in weak competencies. Through this project, I was able to be connected to various industry

leaders and fortunate enough to have conversation with them about what hospitality industry is
about and what steps as a college student need to take. Now Im really encouraged to attend
professional meetings and be more involved in extracurricular activities because I learned so
many things from the professionals and the event not only about the leadership but also
excitement of getting involved. If I remain as a passive participant in the industry, there will be
less chance for me to grow and learn. When I asked Patti for an advice, she recommended me to
have a hotel experience and volunteer to be actively involved. Yes, that would be my first step
for me to become an active participant and leader and one of the greatest lesson I learned from
the leader shadow.

I have attached some pictures during the leader shadow as a proof, so please see the next page
for your reference.

(Left) Patti Parrish and me during the fundraiser

(Left) Student volunteer(Elisabeth) and me

Me and Daisy Padaon(Right, Sales associate at Goldfield Stage) during the auction

During the cocktail reception of fundraiser