Jesus Angel Espinoza

Professor Greg McClure

Writing 39B
28 October, 2015

Rhetorical Analysis Revision

1. The introduction does include a rhetorical situation for the text but it lacks a certain
aspects which is medium. The context was really well written because it gives a brief
explanation of what is occurring in the novel I Am Legend by Richard Matheson. This
paper also gives a good description of the rhetor which is key to introducing rhetorical
situation. I felt that medium was lacking because it gives a general explanation of how
the author and the audience communicate. When you start discussing your argument try
to specifically explain how it relates back to the audience. The genre was well set up
because you described the certain expectations the audience had with Robert Neville. The
purpose was also very well written because you stated what your argument was and how
you were going to discuss it.
2. The thesis does state the claim about how certain elements of the text communicate but it
gives little explanation on how it relates to the audience. Elaborate when you discuss how
society connects with Robert Nevilles actions. When you described the elements used in
the novel you didnt relate it on how it impacts the reader. Most importantly your
argument on historical context is not effective to the argument. You need to state the
source youre going to use throughout the essay. Try to include sources that relate to your
argument. For example research on articles that describe how racism affects society.
3. The writer does continue to reference the claim of the thesis throughout the analysis,
however I felt the thesis was too general which affected the whole analysis. The writer

just discussed the rhetorical elements of the story and how it affected the message of the
novel. Your thesis should include how the novel is shaped on either genre or
historical/context. I like how you discussed the rhetorical elements but try to relate by to
the horror genre and most importantly the audience. In your analysis you did state how
your rhetorical elements relate to historical/context as well as audience but you gave no
evidence to back up your claim.
4. Some rhetorical elements that were discussed in these two body paragraphs were
metaphors, tone, and juxtaposition. The writer gave good evidence from the novel to back
up the claim but it didnt connect to the values and beliefs of the audience. I felt the
analysis was well written but single minded. Try to interpret the text in other point of
views such as the vampires. You can discuss how the vampires are the victims instead of
Robert Neville. You then would have to relate it to the audience and back up this claim
with sources.
5. I felt the body paragraphs werent structured well enough. I felt the whole analysis was
just focused on the rhetorical elements which is why your topic sentences werent
effective. You also didnt transition your ideas from one body paragraph to another which
makes your overall argument less impactful. You did focus on just one topic in each
paragraph but it definitely lacked evidence. The only source I saw in the whole analysis
was the novel, I Am Legend by Richard Matheson. In paragraph 2 the writer creates
cohesion by analyzing the rhetorical elements that Robert Neville creates for his
argument. The writes gives a lot of detail but like I said before no evidence.
6. The paragraph that I felt could improve is the last paragraph because the analysis is well
written but it there are no sources backing up the argument. Your topic sentence didnt
relate to what you discussed in the paragraph. In your topic sentence discuss how your
argument relates to the audience. I feel like your essay was well written but you need to

add sources. If youre going to discuss how genre affects the audience then you might
want to use Nature of Horror by Noel Carroll. If you use genre and historical/context
then I feel your argument will be solid because you already have the analysis. Also,
remember to transition your ideas from one paragraph to the next.