Plato

Parker Plato
Jean Coco
English 1001
29 November 2015
Audience- parents of teenagers
50/50 Focus 5/ Org. 4 see my comments about organizing paragraphs / Devel. 3 / Citations 3/
Audience 5
The Truth About Depression
I have been having a lot of trouble with this paper to be honest. I am very passion about
my topic so I want to do really well. I am just having trouble with the citing and quoting. I
havent written a research paper in a really long time and I am struggling trying to incorporate all
of the information. I think my topic and my sources are really strong so I just need to organize
my thoughts for this paper and get them all out on paper. My main struggle is setting up the
quotes I want to use. I noticed I was starting to write my paper not like a research paper at first. I
was making it kind of like a PSA to parents and realized I needed to make it more like a research
paper, as it should be. I am leaving two possible line of inquirys in my paper right now because
I am still not sure which way I want to word it. While writing my paper, I am using a lot of

Jean Coco 12/5/2015 4:05 PM

Comment [1]: Spend some time on the
OWL Purdue site reading about MLA in-text
citations. The citation depends on the
source and how you craft the sentence:
theres no one way to do this.
Jean Coco 12/5/2015 4:06 PM
Comment [2]: I think you did a pretty
good job here. I understand that most
students dont have a lot of experience with
writing research papers.
Jean Coco 12/5/2015 4:07 PM
Comment [3]: Its okay to include your
observations as a college student. That
might make the paper more casual, but
considering your audience, that would be a
good tone to strike.

statistics from a source from the database (through the library) and I didnt plan on using this
much of it and it strays from my topic about talking about preventing depression and making
parents aware of it but I feel like the statistics are very important to my paper. I have been having
a little bit of a hard time placing in the quotes and trying to re-word things to where it is in no
way plagiarized but I think I am doing well. I also am not one hundred percent sure about my intext citations. I think I am doing it too much and could cut come out but I want to be cautious

Jean Coco 12/5/2015 4:08 PM

Comment [4]: Be choosy though. You
could put some of this information in a
graph, which would make it easier to digest.
Also, be careful about over-citing from one
source. You want to make sure youre citing
the six sources in your paper.

Plato 2

and make sure all of my sources are given proper credit. My conclusion is weak and needs a lot
of work.
1. What would you do if you suspected your child was depressed? 1% to 6% of
teenagers acquire major depression every year. The National Institute of Mental Health found
that, 439 youths ages 12 to 17 with major depression, only 20% showed typical symptoms of

Jean Coco 12/5/2015 4:10 PM

Comment [5]: Write out this number
since you shouldnt begin a sentence with a
number. Also, you might want to use this
info later in the paragraph. First, establish
yourself as a narrator.

depression (Harvard Medical). Sometimes it can be very hard to figure out if someone is
suffering from depression and the symptoms vary from each person. There are all kinds of
reasons people develop depression, but social media has had a great effect on teenagers recently.
In a Harvard Medical article, readers learn teenagers can become depressed because of their
parents, environment they live in, and because depression has a genetic component. The different
thing about those reasons for depression and social media being a reason is that sometimes
parents, or even kids, can prevent depression from social media. Why is the depression rate for
teenagers increasing and could social media be to blame? Could social media be a huge
contributor to the reason depression rates are increasing in teenagers?
2. A lot of the time people use the word depression way out of context. Whenever
something goes wrong people say how depressed they are but it is actually just ones mood
changing, which is completely normal. In an article from researchers in the Harvard Medical
department, readers can understand what exactly depression is and the different types. Readers
are reminded that there is a difference between being upset over something small, grieving over a
great loss, and depression. Signs of depression are being unmotivated, listless, or irritable
(Harvard Medical). Another article from Harvard Medical teaches parents way to prevent
depression in their children. They suggest keeping a close eye on them while they use social

Jean Coco 12/5/2015 4:11 PM

Comment [6]: This is a better LOI because
it opens up the topic for discussion rather
than casting the issue as a binary (Yes/ No)
argument.

Plato 3

media, set limits on how much they can watch television, and teach them about online safety.
Also, cyber bullying has caused a lot of issues in teenagers because kids find it easier to bully
behind a computer screen. Younger and younger children now participate in all forms of social
media and suffer from bullying and are at risk for some type of depressive disorder.
3. Teenagers are three to fours as likely as other youths to develop depression if their
parents struggle or have struggled with depression. There were also studies that showed
teenagers who play a sport for five or more times a week were depressed (Harvard Medical).
Recognizing depression can be very difficult and The Treatment for Adolescents with
Depression Study (a clinical trial sponsored by the National Institute of Mental Health)
concluded that of 439 youths ages 12 to 17 with major depression, only 20% showed typical
symptoms of depression (Harvard Medical). Nowadays, teenagers have the reputation of being
rebellious and always wanting to be alone and away from their family which makes discovering
depression more challenging. Most teenagers who have already suffered from depression are
likely to relapse back into the disorder. Research shows that 50% to 70% of adolescents who
are treated successfully for depression will experience depression again (Harvard Medical).
4. A lot of people just think a person is very sad when they think of depression, but there
is not easy definition. Depression is a lot more complex than just simply being sad and many
people forget that (Dignam). Nowadays, more teenagers are developing depression and it is
going unnoticed by adults. The rise of social media has had a lot of impact on teenagers. There
has been a lot of studies on how social media has caused depression in teenagers and C.R. Blease
wrote a very interesting article about the dangers of Facebook. The article talks about the effects
on kids with too many friends on Facebook and also how upset people are becoming over not

Plato 4

getting enough feedback online. Blease calls it Facebook depression and a lot of teenagers are
suffering from it. From reading this article, one can become aware how obsessed teenagers are
today with social media. Kids with too many friends on Facebook sometimes become obsessed
with repeatedly checking on what their friends are posting. Blease proposed that kids who have a
ton of online friends are more susceptible to becoming depressed.

Jean Coco 12/5/2015 4:14 PM

Comment [7]: IF the Blease article has
page numbers, then include the pages
where you found each bit of information in
parenthesis at the end of the sentence.

5. Major depressive disorder is becoming more common among college students and it
can lead to suicide. Kisch, Leino, a Silverman (2005) conducted a study that showed that 9.5%
of college students had experienced serious suicidal ideation and that 1.5% of the students had
attempted suicide (Youn, Trinh, Shyu, Chang, Fava, Kvedar, Yeung). Also, Sonawalla et al.,
(2001) found that 16.4% of students at a given college had experienced suicidal ideation (Youn,
Trinh, Shyu, Chang, Fava, Kvedar, Yeung). Along with the suicidal thoughts, major depressive
disorder can lead to academic and major health issues. College students are often surrounded by
alcohol and when suffering with depression, college students are more inclined to excessively
abuse alcohol. College students also are more likely to develop eating disorders. A lot of times
this depression disorder goes un-noticed because most of the time college students do not have
parents keeping a close eye on them. There have been online screening tests to test college
students to see if they have or are likely to develop major depressive disorder. They will screen
on college campuses to make it very easy on students. It was determined that sending an online
questionnaire is an easy and inexpensive way to reach college students. Researchers also use
Facebook to screen college students for major depressive disorder. Almost all college students
participate in some form of social media and Facebook is a very popular website that todays
college students all use. In 2009, 259 students from five U.S. colleges consented to participate
in the study (Youn, Trinh, Shyu, Chang, Fava, Kvedar, Yeung). A lot of the participants were

Jean Coco 12/5/2015 4:15 PM

Comment [8]: See OWL Purdue for rules
regarding multiple authors.

Plato 5

female (77.4%). Out of the females, (62.7%) were Caucasian, 24.9% were Asian, 5.3% were
Black, .9 % were American Indian or Alaska Natives, and 6.2% was anonymous. Most of the
participants were juniors in college and it came out to 34.7%. Sophomores came in second with
27.6% participants, followed by 15.1% freshman participants, and then only 8% of seniors
participated. Undergraduate students, graduate students, and five-year students all participated in
this screening. After conducting the experiment, 26.7% tested positive for major depressive
disorder. Unfortunately, 18.9% screened positive to showing suicidal symptoms and sadly only
14.2% confessed to going to receive some sort of treatment for their issue. Most students (37%)
wanted to receive medication for treatment and only 22% of students were going to get help
through therapy, but 40.7% of students admitted to trying medication and therapy to help recover
from their depression and suicidal thoughts (Youn, Trinh, Shyu, Chang, Fava, Kvedar, Yeung).
6. Facebook ads are a great way to get attention from college students because most
college students are online so much. It will also make them more inclined to take the online test
because it is convenient and sometimes they will be curious to see their results. Researchers
created the survey through SuveryMonkey, which is a popular online tool, used for high school
students and college students. The tests are very credible because all surveys, advertisements,
and instruments were approved by the Massachusetts General Hospital's Institutional Review
Board (IRB) (Youn, Trinh, Shyu, Chang, Fava, Kvedar, Yeung). After receiving their results of
whether or not they tested positive for major depressive disorder, students were asked to
complete a survey and out of the 58 students who screened positive for MDD, 21 (36.2%) said
they would take the survey. Regrettably, only 20 actually completed it by providing responses
to the questions (Youn, Trinh, Shyu, Chang, Fava, Kvedar, Yeung). After eight weeks, it was
shown that the rate of students receiving treatment for MDD remained constant at 40% (Youn,

Plato 6

Trinh, Shyu, Chang, Fava, Kvedar, Yeung). Obviously college students remain very busy
throughout the year with classes, extra-curricular activities, and social life, and being too busy
and/or forgotten were the main reasons for not following through with the original treatment
plan. Out of the results, 35% of said they were too busy and/or forgot, 25% said that the
depressive symptoms did not bother them enough to make them seek treatment, 20% did not
believe that treatment would not be helpful, and another 20% of participants did not believe
that they suffered from depression (Youn, Trinh, Shyu, Chang, Fava, Kvedar, Yeung). This study
was important to help make people realize how real major depressive disorder is and how much
it affects college students. This will make people realize how important it is to receive help for
depression because readers can see how much college students have thought and even attempted
suicide.
7. Depression in teenagers is rapidly increasing and social media is a huge part to blame.
It is hard to control what teenagers and college students do online but parents should try and
monitor what they can.

Plato 7

Blease, C. R. "Too Many friends, Too Few likes? Evolutionary Psychology and Facebook
Depression." Review of General Psychology 19.1 (2015): 1-13. Web.

Dignam, P. T. "Classifying Teenage Depression." Australian & New Zealand Journal of

Psychiatry 48.8 (2014): 774-75. Web.

"Preventing Depression in Adolescents." Harvard Medical School Commentaries on Health.

HarvardHealthPublications. Boston: Harvard Health Publications, 2014. Credo Reference.
Web. 19 Nov. 2015.

"Social Media - a Brief Guide for Parents." Harvard Medical School Commentaries on Health.
HarvardHealthPublications. Boston: Harvard Health Publications, 2014. Credo Reference.
Web. 19 Nov. 2015.

"Understanding Depression." Harvard Medical School Special Health Reports.

HarvardMedicalSchool. Boston: Harvard Health Publications, 2012. Credo Reference.
Web. 19 Nov. 2015.

Youn, Soo Jeong, Nhi-Ha Trinh, Irene Shyu, Trina Chang, Maurizio Fava, Joseph Kvedar, and
Albert Yeung. "Using Online Social Media, Facebook, in Screening for Major Depressive
Disorder among College Students." International Journal of Clinical and Health

Jean Coco 12/5/2015 4:16 PM

Comment [9]: Add Works Cited to this
page.

Plato 8
Psychology 13.1 (2013): 74-80. Web.