WP1:

Original:
In order for magazines to become popular, in todays world, they have to be cutting edge
- cutting edge on whatever topic they choose to write about.
New:
In order for magazines to become popular, in todays world, they have to be cutting edge
the most up to date and entertaining as they can be.
Question:
What does cutting edge mean? You repeat it but it is confusing.
Impact:
I feel like my change explains what cutting edge is and gives the line a better flow.
Original:
attention to the reader. What makes these articles stand out in particular is the photos they use to dictate
the ton for each individual website and what generate the type of audience that would enjoy their article
and come back for more. // All three online magazine articles shown below, made exceptions to their usual
purposes to cover an interesting story, but also separate themselves by their articles change from casual to
formal tones, real life references, and social generalizations

New:
Cut in between & edited to form 2 paragraphs: attention from the reader.
Looking at the three chosen magazine articles written about President John F. Kennedy and his
romantic affairs, it is apparent that the magazines produce articles that draw on mystery, romance, and
matter of fact statements in order to bring in readers.

Question:
Is this paragraph too long and is it even about the same topic?
Impact:
I felt that changing the length of my paragraphs made my paper better because it wasnt
so much in large chunks and it became easier to read.
Original:
When researching for examples and how to properly explain the conventions that
magazine articles usually use, it was interesting to see that while these magazine articles
arent necessarily gossip magazines; instead they are covering a topic that is a little more
on the social side, rather than the political side.
New:
These articles can then be described as historical articles because though they have
social aspects, they are deeply drawing on a mans life whom is no longer with us.
Question:
What type of magazine articles are they exactly?
Impact:
I included the fact that the articles are historical articles that sway away from the
specific genres, like including romance, gossip, etc. in order to appeal differently. I also
took out a majority of the lengthy sentences like the one above because it was confusing
and did nothing to explain my genre.

Original:
While scandal is a popular theme amongst past presidents, and politics itself, it is
interesting to see how such high regarded magazines are covering such a significant
scandal. When reading the about sections for each magazine, it is found that they cover
topics in geography, archaeology and natural science.
New:
it is not surprising to see how such high regarded magazines are covering this
significant scandal. // When reading the about sections for each magazine, it is found
that they cover topics in geography, archaeology and natural science
Question:
Is this paragraph too long?
Impact:
I also split this paragraph up into two separate ones because not only did it also helped
with flow but it made my paper more organized according to tones and purposes of my
paragraphs.
WP2:
Original:
In the original paper, I wrote about Anthropology and Forensics being the two topics
compared and discussed.
New:
In my revision, I changed Anthropology to Archeology and Forensics to Criminal Justice.
Question:
Anthropology and Forensics can easily be the same exact field, maybe there are ways to
narrow down the topics?
Impact:
I changed my two fields because they are more specific and have a lot in common yet
they are still very different from each other.
Original:
both a civic duty to those of us who do not have the passion for such studies.
New:
both a civic duty to shoe who dont have the passion for such studies.
Question:
Why do I keep addressing the audience?
Impact:
I changed the voice of that statement in order to make my paper flow better and sound
more professional.

Original:
These articles in particular served the purpose as to why these people had cranial deformations
and in turn, figure out what type of lives they led because of this disability and what other kinds
of people they dealt with in their lifetimes.

New:
This article in particular served the purpose as to why these people had cranial deformations and
in turn, figure out what type of lives they led because of this disability.

Question:
Definite improvement in the clarity of language, but we should still work on concision,
style and word choice. Emm
Impact:
I decided to change some words to make the paper overall sound more professional as
well as listen to Emms critiques.
Original:
This kind of information proves the exact difference between Anthropology and
Forensics in that Anthropology is more concerned with life and Forensics is more
concerned with death.
New:
This kind of information proves the exact difference between Archeology and Criminal
Justice in that the first is more concerned with life and the latter is more concerned with
death.
Question:
Definite improvement in the clarity of language, but we should still work on concision,
style and word choice. -Emm
Impact:
I decided to change some words to make the paper overall sound more professional as
well as listen to Emms critiques.
Original:
When going over academic articles, it can be assumed that most, if not all, are structured
the same way and give information out in the same way. This is proven false when
looking at the same topic, but in different lights, or genres.
New:
When going over academic articles, it can be assumed they are structured the same way
but this is proven false when looking at the same topic, in different genres.
Question:
Conclusion is definitely too long.
Impact:
After writing more papers since this one, I realized that in fact my paragraphs are too
long so in order to condense them, I stared taking out unnecessary words.

Original:
This is looked at with the topic of human remains, in the fields of anthropology and forensics.
Anthropology focuses more on the life lived by the deceased and what type of picture can be
painted form the evidence about an entire culture and how this connects all of mankind. They
are concerned with death and how a person died, in order to put away a criminal, not to
understand an entire peoples beliefs based off the death.

New:
This is all missing ^^
Question:
Conclusion is definitely too long.
Impact:
I took out this large portion because it is irrelevant to the analyzing of how the genres
work, and only focus on the actual fields.