Vanessa Solorio

December 2, 2015
Professor Greg McGlure
Writing 39B

RIP Essay Peer Revision (Sally Al-Omari)

1. Has the writer clearly spent time analyzing audience reception?
I think you did a great job with analyzing the audiences reception. I think it was great how you
focused more on how the cultural context had a huge impact on audience reception especially
because the audience consisted of college students. You talked about how you filmed for
example angles, lighting etc. and how that influenced the audiences reception. You included
different parts of the film that made your message stronger for example when explaining how the
audience began to side with the girlfriend. Then you even talked about how the emotions of the
character runs parallel to those of the audience.
2. Does the writer clearly describe the medium and genre used for their project and discuss
how specific conventions expected of texts in that medium and genre were targeted?
You did clearly describe the medium in your introduction by talking about your film and
explained the name of your short horror film. Then you went on to briefly summarize the film
however you did not clearly describe the genre for your project as much. I think you focused
more on the cultural context than the genre conventions and tropes. You did both but I feel like
you could probably expand on the conventions and tropes part of the essay. You could explain
why your film made the audience feel a certain way or why they might have felt afraid. I think
you should really talk about audience reception in your second paragraph.
3. Does the writer clearly describe what she wants the audience to know, feel, and think and
how those receptions were designed?
I think you do a great job doing this when tying cultural context with you reception. You clearly
say you want your audience to either relate to the plot, or grow out of their cultural boundaries.
You talked about how it appealed to the audience which was great. Then you talked about how
the audiences expectations were fulfilled through the use of the phone call trope. Overall I think
you hit this point especially when you brought up noel Carroll and the emotions running paralle
with the characters in the film.
4. Does the writer clearly describe what he/she intends as the primary message of the text?
Has the writer distinguished between purpose and message? Also, are the purpose/message
of the text related to an analytical point that was discussed in class?
You dont clearly describe what the intended message of your text was but I get an idea. You
explain why one should not give in to temptations and adultery. I think you should probably state
this message into your introduction. I feel like it would make your essay stronger and clearer to
your reader. When it comes to the purpose of the film, you clearly stated that it was because
college students do not have their parents so they make irresponsible decisions. So basically the
purpose of your film was to convince students to make responsible decisions or suffere the
consequences.

5. Has the writer addressed the group situation with some insight and engaging examples?
I think it is great how you clearly stated what your job was in crating this film and what parts you
contributed too to make your film portray the betrayal. In addition to explaining how well you
and your group mates worked, you should talk about things they contributed to the film and why
was that contribution made. Maybe talk about any disagreements you guys had ? ( If any) Other
than that I think you talked about this pretty well.