Ruiz 1

Karen Ruiz
Professor Batty
English 113A
September 1, 2015
Life after Death
No! No! Not you dad please open your eyes stay with us I could hear my mom
frantically yelling with a devastated cry as I turned into a quiet extensive hallway. I wanted to
run towards the end of that hallway, but at the same time I wanted to escape from that place and
from that moment. I knew that my heart needed time to accept what my mind already knew.
It was a very sunny morning on January 27, 2012 in the city of Parral Chihuahua,
Mexico. The sun was so bright that as I opened my eyes I could feel them burn. I finally got out
of bed and walked to the room downstairs to see if anyone was awake, but all I found was a note
on the table. It was from my mom telling me that she wanted to be at the hospital as soon as
visits were allowed. Since the night before we had arrived late, when we went to the hospital the
visits were not permitted. As I began to get ready, I saw a picture of my grandpa and I that was
taken in Kansas before we headed towards Denver. I couldnt help but smile as the memories
from that day dashed through my mind. He wouldnt like any of the music I liked. He would say
that my music drove him crazy. He said that he felt as if he were about to walk in a room full of
newborns. I didnt enjoy any of the music he played. His music would make the road trip longer
and boring for me. Since we couldnt seem to agree on what music would be played he told me
lets flip a coin, heads I win tales you lose Of course 5; year old me would agree and would
always end up losing. I heard a loud knock at the door, it was my cousin whom had gone to pick
me up.

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As we were headed to the hospital, my heart began to pound. I couldnt understand why I
felt so nervous, it was an inexplicable sensation. I felt as if my heart was going to explode right
out of my chest into my hands. Is everything okay? my cousin asked. Yes I replied with a
hesitant voice. I was anxious to get to the hospital, but there was a congestion of traffic and to
make matter a little worse, we still had to make a food stop for everyone at the hospital. As we
drove past a tiny variegated store, I had a flash back to the day I got illogically mad at my
grandpa for taking my cousin to that store and not me. Judging from the outside, I imagined that
that store was taken out of candy land or something similar. Of course my grandpa was never
wrong, and he told me before walking in not everything you see is gold I was extremely
disappointed when I walked in and realized that it was like any other store, they sold candy,
chips, drinks, etc. etc. I felt even more disillusioned at the fact that I had gotten mad at my
grandpa for no exceptional reason.
When we finally arrived at the hospital my hands began to sweat and my heart began
pounding even faster than before. I told my cousin to hurry up that I had been patient for far too
long. As we walked in I asked the girl at the desk for my grandpas room number. When she gave
it to me, she told me that it was an intensive care hallway to go inaudibly through it. As we were
about to turn into the hallway I heard my moms devastated cry telling my grandpa to open his
eyes. As her words played over and over in my head, my heart dropped to the ground as if a glass
of water had shattered in pieces. For an instant, I was frozen I didnt know whether to keep
stepping forward or go backwards. But there was no avoidance; I was trapped in a room full of
mirrors where nothing could be seen clearly.
When I walked into the room I could see the devastation in everyones face. I wanted to
be strong as I saw my grandpa laying on a bed full of tubes, but lifeless. I wasnt able to. I could

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feel the world crumbling down to my feet. I realized could now feel the meaning to my
grandfathers words. You are going to lose people in your life and you are going to comprehend
that no matter how much time you spent with them, it will never seem like it was enough.
Thats how I felt. I felt as if the time on the clock had rushed past many years.
I looked at my mom all I could do was hug her, hug her very tight. I understood exactly
what she felt. It was the worst kind of pain anyone could feel. It was the kind of pain that would
last a lifetime.
There were so many dreadful things that had to get done that day such as the funeral and
funeral mass, that I couldnt comprehend how strong a person could really be until being strong
was the only choice. At the funeral mass I had a mixture of emotions. I felt immensely angry at
the people who would ask what had happened, but at the same time, I felt grateful that there were
so many of them at the funeral mass. Sadness definitely invaded the room.
Saying goodbye wasnt the hardest part, the hardest part came afterwards, when the
numbness of the shock went away. Reality hit me when I realized that I wouldnt be able to see
his tender smile when I said or did something ludicrous. That he wouldnt illuminate the room
with his presence at family gatherings. It clicked in my head that I would never have another
chance to tell him how much I loved and cared for him, and that I would never have another
opportunity to thank him for all he taught me and for the wonderful moments we shared. I
learned that I would never stop loving him, I would just learn to live without him. He left a gap
in my heart that would never be filled again. The only thing I had left were the memories,
memories that would forever become my treasure.
Going through the death of my grandpa indubitably changed the prospect I had about life.
I felt as if I were a newborn, but with a greater perception of what really matters. I learned that

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the most expensive things and the ones that should be valued the most are priceless. That there
should
never be a day where I walk out the door without telling the ones I love, I love them because
when theyre gone no matter how loud I yell and how hard I cry, they wont be able to hear me.
My blindness became my sight. I learned more things in one single day than what I had in 16
years.