Sofia Nelson FHS 2400

Word Count: 541

Question:
The concept of prototypes of love is discussed in our textbook. The assumption is that all of us,
whether formally or informally, have a list of what we are looking for in a mate. Make of list of
the 15 most important things you look for in a mate. Once you have completed the list, put a start
next to the five characteristics, traits or qualities that you believe are most important. Explain
why you identified those five as being the most important qualities in a mate.
Most girls I know have a list of expectations or requirements that the guy they date or
marry has to full fill for them to be the perfect guy. Even my male friends have a list of certain
things that they look for in a girl when they try to find someone to date. These are prototypes of
love. Our textbook defines these prototypes as models of what we mean by love. (Strong and
Cohen, 2014, p. 156-157) The Oxford Dictionary definition of love is warm liking or affection;
sexual passion; loved person. (Hawkins, 1991, p. 304). When someone says they love another
person, they are not usually referring to the literal definition of love, but rather a prototype of
love. This can be seen in a personal experience of mine. People have asked me before if I am in
love with my boyfriend, and why or what makes me feel that way. My response has always been
along the lines of He is patient and kind, and we have a lot of fun together. I describe him and
what I love about him, instead of our relationship itself. I believe that these things that I love
about my boyfriend are my prototypes of love.
Below is a list of what I feel are the fifteen most important things I look for in a mate.
Humor
Smart
Patient

Determined
Selfless
Loves me
Easy going
Best friend
Honest
Respectful
Gentle
Strong
Loyalty
Shows affection
Fun
The characteristics with a star by them are top five that I feel are most important. It was
really difficult to come up with this list because there are so many characteristics that I
feel are important in a mate. Narrowing the list down to five characteristics was even
more difficult because all of these things are important in both people in order to make a
relationship work.
I said that it is important that my mate is respectful and loves me because I need to feel
loved. The people that love me and show respect for me and my feelings are close to my
heart. I also believe it is important for my mate to be patient. Having a family is a dream
of mine that requires patience, love, and time. I am someone with a loud opinion and a
stubborn personality so I need a patient companion. My current boyfriend is very patient
and brings out the best in me because of it. The last things that I believe are important
are that we should be best friends and have the most fun when we are together. People
that can have fun and tell each other everything can grow closer together and always be
happy in each others company.
Although prototypes of love differ from person to person, what matters is that
people take the time to find someone that they can love and make happy. Prototypes of
love are what can define whether a couple is in love. Using prototypes can help us study

what it means to be in love and how people define love. Knowing this helps us
understand our own personal relationships and find a deeper love for our companion that
is based off of them.
Works Cited

Hawkins, Joyce. The Oxford Minidictionary. Oxford: Clarendon, 1981. Print.

Strong, B, & Cohen, T. F. (2014). The marriage and family experience: Intimate
relationships in a changing society (12th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.