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Parker Flood

10/16/2015
Unit 4 Essay 1
Question:
OPTION D: ARE YOU READY?
Suppose your 21 year old child or best friend came to you and asked the question, "How do you know
if you are ready for marriage?" How would you respond? If it will help, you may interview two other
people and list their answers in your paper. As you consider the factors predicting marital success, look
at your own past relationships. What factors, such as background, personality characteristics, and
relationship characteristics, might have predicted the quality of your relationship? Were any particular
characteristics especially important for you? Why?
Answer: I had the great opportunity to interview my cousin who just turned twenty-two in August
about marriage and being ready for this big step in their life. Although he wasn't engaged or even
dating someone, he expressed that he was "always looking" for the women he was to marry. I asked
him specifically what he would want in a companion, he thought about it and came up with a few
characteristics that were important to him.
Because he is religious, his first criteria that he wanted her to have was a faith in God. He
expressed how important it was to him in the fact that it would create a special bond between them. I
asked him to expound a little more on why he wanted this characteristic in a wife, he explained that it
was important because he had seen situations with various married couples where they had different
religious views and it created some tension at times, he didn't want that in their relationship. When he
moved on and began to tell me his second quality he chuckled. He wanted Patience to be a strong
quality in her personality. He confessed that he was stubborn at times and He "knows" it would be a
trouble in their marriage if she wasn't patient with him. He listed two others, nurturing and being
compassionate. He explained that these two went hand in hand. He said he wanted to have kids and
these two qualities would make or break his marriage. He wanted his kids mother to have a lovig and
caring attitude towards the way she raised their children.
After interviewing him I thought of what I could say to him that would benefit him in choosing a
women to marry. Before getting married two years ago I had made a list just like this, I was surprised
in the qualities my wife had that were on the list. Luckily, I was able to marry someone who met most
of my desired qualities. One quality of mine was like his, a belief in God. This was particularly
important to be in the same way he desired it. I, being a religious person found that a strong belief in
God would help me personally just as much as it would help our marriage as whole. I believe it is
important to have the same religious views as a couple. I think I would tell my cousin that it is almost
impossible to find someone who meets all of his requirements. I wanted to tell him to try to find a
women who meets the most important qualities he wants in a girl. If you find someone like that you
will most likely have a great marriage. No marriage is immune to arguments of some sort, but the key
to overcoming those arguments comes from remembering the love you share and how you felt when
you first met. In our textbook it states: "The presence of conflict within a marriage or family doesn't
always suggest trouble or indicate that love is going or gone;it may mean quite the opposite".
(B.Cohen,196) This statement is very true. The conflicts that arise is vital to a relationship. You learn
from your mistakes and errors I would definitely make sure my cousin knew that early in a narrative
conflict arises and to never give up on your love. if I were to give my cousins advice, the most

important word of wisdom I could give him is to never give up and to find a women he wouldn't ever
want to give up on. Marriage is an amazing adventure if you share it with someone you love and
genuinely care for.
References
Strong, B., & Cohen, T. (n.d.). The marriage and family experience: Intimate relationships in a
changing society (Twelfth edition, Student ed., p. 196).

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