Meghann Kuhlman

ENGL 458: Advanced Writing Workshop

Dr. K. Brooks

Kuhlman

Chocolate Milk Will Ruin Your Stuff

I came to this understanding in 7th grade as I huddled near a 1980s peach colored sink in
the basement girls bathroom. I was furiously scrubbing at my shirtfront, trying to get the
offending stain out of my white shirt. I was going to have to go to world history looking like I
was eight years old and would have to wait until I got home to change. Sighing, I sat down on
the floor to assess the rest of the damage, my back sliding against the old, patterned tiles.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was permanently destroyed. Milk had seeped
between each and every page, the sugar causing all of the pages to stick together. The pages were
warped and covers already smelled awful. I tossed it into the industrial sized garbage can, tears
streaming down my face as it clanged on the steel bottom. The book had been in my hands for
less than 48 hours before I had ruined it. My. Mom. Was. Going. To. Kill. Me.

I had bought this book the day before at the mall, begging one of my parents to drive me
so I could finally buy it. As we made the drive home from Barnes & Noble, my mom made me
promise to be careful with it, that books are something to be treated gently. I was too busy gazing
at the prize in my lap to really listen to her.
Yeah, I will. I vaguely promised, too interested in the royal blue cover to listen.
Bringing it to school the next day wasnt a question. My friends and I oohed and ahhed at
the jacket art, talked about how we were going to read all of it. We had read Harry Potter in
elementary school, which led us to other exciting book series like A Series of Unfortunate Events
and The Chronicles of Narnia. Our rooms were papered with posters of Hermione Granger. We
always fought over who would get to be Ginny Weasley for Halloween because we just couldnt
have duplicates. It simply wasnt done.

Meghann Kuhlman
ENGL 458: Advanced Writing Workshop
Dr. K. Brooks

Kuhlman

But, unfortunately, none of my friends were in my lunch period. I sat at my usual table by
the windows and began to read it, oblivious to the rest of the cafeteria. I didnt mind being alone;
it allowed me to doodle in my notebook or get a start on some of my homework assignments
before I got home. Suddenly, the book was seized from the counter.
Oh my god, are you seriously reading this?
The high-pitched tone of my voice made my heart jump into my throat. Nothing was
scarier than an aggressive confrontation from one of my peers.
Yeah. I didnt know what to say to Becca. She was one of the popular girls in my
grade; naturally, I didnt really interact with her besides random class project. My quiet words
felt like a stupid and pointless retort, but I wasnt going to deny reading it. It was obvious.
This is so fucking stupid. Why do you and your weird friends read this stuff? My
cheeks were on fire now.
Just give it back. I snapped, getting up from my seat to take it from her, but she raised
it far above her head. Becca was almost six foot tall, with me barely reaching five. I could do
nothing but stand there and hope one of the lunch staff saw what was happening. As per usual,
they were too busy complaining about how awful middle schoolers are to see that I needed any
kind of assistance.
After garnering enough attention from the rest of our class, Becca sneered and called me
a freak. Instead of putting my book on the table, she tilted her hands and let it drop from six feet
in the air, hitting the counter hard. The force was so great that it caused my bottle of chocolate
milk to tip over and spill, conveniently all over myself and my brand new book.
After ceremonially disposing of the book, I moped around my house all evening, barely
able to tell my parents that I had let my book get ruined. I kept visualizing Becca calling me a

Meghann Kuhlman
ENGL 458: Advanced Writing Workshop
Dr. K. Brooks

Kuhlman

freak, spitting the word out like a bullet. Why couldnt I just like what everyone else liked? I
ripped down my weird posters and stuffed them in the dark depths of my closet, embarrassed at
the sight of them. If I had been normal, today wouldnt have happened. I promised myself that I
wouldnt wear any of my geek clothes to school the next day; I would do anything to ensure
that that kind of humiliation never happened again.
The next school day left me in a fog of confusion and boredom. Because I was trying to
prove that I was over having more books than friends, I deliberately tried to be a less-thanaverage student. Nor participating in class left me anxious and bored, so I just resolved to stare
out the window to observe the street below. My friends made faces when I told them being a
freak wasnt worth the hassle and that my future lied in being average; they continued on being
brilliant while I sat near the back of the room.
English was my second to last class of the day. I filed in with most of my classmates,
binder in hand. I had to pass Becca on the way to my seat, causing me to blush in humiliation.
She smirked, obviously satisfied with what had happened the day before. People were still
talking about her stunt yesterday; it was like she was the newest celebrity to hit John Adams
Middle School. I couldnt concentrate through most of class because I was so obsessed with
trying to blend in and stop sticking out. I didnt answer questions or participate in the class
activity; I just wanted to be accepted by my peers. Most of all, I just wanted to go home and cry
some more. I felt so isolated by my humiliation.
Class ended uneventfully. Ms. Magnuson ran out of time, leaving us scrambling to pack
our bags before we went to our next class. However, she called me back to stay behind.

Meghann Kuhlman
ENGL 458: Advanced Writing Workshop
Dr. K. Brooks

Kuhlman

We have something to discuss. My teacher said pointedly, indicating that I should come
by her desk. I dragged my feet over, afraid that my lack of participation would merit a call home
to my parents. This day is just getting better and better, I thought to myself.
Whats up? I asked, trying not to seem afraid. I dug the toe of my shoe into the carpet,
avoiding her bright eyes. I wanted to disappear.
I heard about what happened yesterday at lunch. She declared, And I heard that Becca
ruined your book. Is this true? I briefly thought about lying and pretending the whole things
never happened. Because that meant that I would finally be left alone and become invisible.
However, something about her tone of voice told me that she really wasnt asking me if the event
had transpired; she was seeing how I was doing.
Yeah, I replied, trying to keep my lower lip from quivering, But its fine. Anything to
stop myself from crying again. I didnt want to be stared at, or stick out.
No, its not. Ms. Magnuson said forcefully, but her eyes softened.
She slid a brand new copy of The Order of the Phoenix into my hand. Hard cover. Blue
jacket and all. My heart leapt into my throat as my eyes filled with tears. I opened my mouth to
say something, to thank her, to explain the feelings running through me, but nothing would come
out.
Reading is who you are and dont let people cause you to question it. Loving to read is
nothing to be ashamed of. Especially when you come to my class tomorrow. My teacher said
with a smile, thankfully unoffended by my choked up silence, I expect your full participation.
Heres a slip to take to your next class. I was ushered out the door to algebra.
When I got home, I pulled the book out from my backpack and marveled at the
unexpected kindness of Ms. Magnuson. She was right. As I looked over the crisp, untouched

Meghann Kuhlman
ENGL 458: Advanced Writing Workshop
Dr. K. Brooks

Kuhlman

pages, I started to piece together my thoughts. Loving to read and learn meant discovering new
things about history and culture; it meant making friends with people with similar interests. It
meant visiting distant lands and discovering ancient treasures without leaving the comfort of my
living room. Reading was a part of who I was and that was never going to change. While some of
peers might have thought it was a waste of time, it was important to me. That was what really
mattered. As long as I was happy with how I spent my time, it didnt really matter what others
thought of me. Besides, my love of books helped me as I continued to learn and grow.
Reading led me to taking more AP classes once I went to high school. It led to winning
scholarships and going to my first-choice school. Being able to read and analyze texts shaped my
love of English, which has made me a better writer, communicator, and advocate. I chose my
degree in order to help better others lives and then, someday, I can help someone else be
unafraid to be who they truly are.