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Noah Drye
Professor Peter Blair
UWRT 1103-028
22 October 22, 2015

Thoughts of a Mother
What does it mean to be a mother? Being motherly is a trait that is
seen throughout the animal kingdom, but is that the same thing? What
techniques can someone use to be an effective mother? Is there such thing
as an effective mother?
Mother, a word that is both a noun and a verb. I am sure that Sue
Ellen Thompson, someone who is a mother herself, would agree with that
statement. I was privileged enough to have read nine poems by Thompson
based on her mothership to her daughter. These nine poems: At Sixteen,
The Visit, Decorating the Tree, The Asking, Orthodontist Days,
Magnolia, The Knowing, The Turning, and The Day She Leaves all
gave great insight on what it was like to be a mother for Thompson. The
question that I am supposed to be explaining for this paper was; is
Thompson an effective mother or ineffective mother? It is my belief that the
words effective or ineffective are not worthy to be attached to a powerful
word such as mother. Based on my readings, Thompson embodies the word

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mother, both the noun and verb usage. You could experience her love and
affection for her daughter as you read her poems.
In each of Thompsons poems, her cares and concerns for her daughter
are very visible and much felt. These feelings radiate from her words.
Blessed was I to have her in my sight this line has so much feeling and
emotion behind. Its filled to the brim with the love of a mother. This line
followed a conflict that the daughter and Thompson had, a conflict that
resulted from Thompson not giving her daughter enough money for a snack
machine.

The reaction was very poor on the daughters part. Was this

caused my Thompsons mothering? Thompson wrote that she should have

punished her daughter, but she elected not to. The choice of forgiveness
seems like a motherly trait, or at least it does to me. Forgiveness is an act of
caring. Caring most definitely a trait of a mother. By that equation, I would
venture to say that Thompson showed great mothership in that poem.
Sometimes I glimpse her slipping from the shower and know again that
shes mine, another powerful quote from the poem The Turning.
Thompson does not deny that her daughter is not hers but she accepts and
even is proud of it. How many parents would willfully disown their child
because they did not meet that partners expectations? Yet Thompson
continues to stand with her daughter and Love her.
In many of Thompsons poem I read, the daughter seems to be hostile
towards her mother and tends to lash out at Thompson. Most people would
contribute this behavior to Thompson not punishing her daughter so it could

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teach her a sense of authority. Those people might even say that she lacks a
backbone. Backbone? What is backbone though? In Decorating the Tree
her daughter announces she is not coming back for another Christmas and
impales a beheaded Virgin Mary ornament on the tree. In this situation
would it take backbone to punish her daughter for her actions? Does it take
backbone to treat aggression with aggression? But Thompson choose to
forgive her daughter and let the situation pass. Forgiveness, an undervalued
trait in todays society. It is a very hard thing to do, forgive someone. If it
was easy, everyone would just forgive those who hurt them. But they do
not. So maybe it would take more backbone for Thompson to forgive her
daughter. I also believe forgiveness is a true trait of a mother. A lesson in
love will last longer than a lesson in aggression. Thompson in this sense
showed what a mothers love looks like and the daughter, not at that time,
but later in life will feel that love and come to appreciate it. The daughter
might even come to love and forgive her mother. To me, that is what the
world needs more of; people who love and forgive, rather than punishing
each other so they can get a sense of authority.
Society is quick to judge someones parenting based on their childs
behavior. In this case, Thompsons mothership was called into question. Is
she a good mother? Well I say there is no such thing as a good mother or a
bad mother. There is only a mother, and I believe that Sue Ellen Thompson
can claim that title. Many people would see a warrant in that claim. They
would say, but her daughter is rude and out of control that surely is a good

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indicator that Thompson is a bad mother. I would reply with, who are we as
outsiders to judge anyone on their parenting? We not commissioners who
can go around and dub people good or bad parents. Thompson is a loving
and caring mother and most importantly she is present for her child. That is
more than some children get. So in the end, Thompson is a mother to her
child and that is it. Thompson does what she feels is right to her when it
came to parenting her children and that is all we as a society should ask of
her.