Brandon Denker

Communication 1050
Reel Media Paper

The film that I chose to observe was the 40 Year Old Virgin. Throughout
the film I was able to discover and observe many of the theories that
we have discussed throughout class. The first theory that I would like
to look at is Symbolic Convergence Theory.
In the movie Andy played by Steve Carrell is a quiet gentle man
that keeps to himself. He seems to be fine in doing things his way, day
in and day out life is not that exciting for Andy. He doesnt seem to
care to change his ways as he is now 40 years old and there would be
no benefit to changing now. That is until his co-workers decide to dig a
little deeper and find out more about Andy and try to make him
blossom at a later age of 40. Their key goal is for him to lose his
virginity.
The first real identification of the symbolic convergence theory is
identified after the Andys three other co-workers take notice in him.
After some speculation and conversation wondering about Andy the
three of them decide to invite him over for a poker game. This is
symbolic in male behavior. Getting together with the boys is the first
step of the convergence theory. Of course the longer time they spend
with one another the four men begin to indulge in guy talk . They

begin fantasize about daily life, creating scenarios that allow them to
live outside their normal reality.
The theory really begins to develop when a casual conversation
around the poker table starts to break through layers of Andys life.
The men, as you can imagine happen to be talking about having sexual
relationships with women. Three of the men share a common base of
reality, Andy on the other hand finds himself slightly on the outside of
the conversation. To survive not only in the conversation but within the
group Andy has to allow himself to begin to fantasize about past
relationships and also future. When Andy begins to speak about his
relationship with women he is clearly out of touch, through fabrication
and fantasy Andy begins to describe what it is like to be with a women.
I dated this girl for a while, she was really a nasty freak Id be
nailing her and shed be like; ah youre nailing me (The 40 Year Old
Virgin). You can see in this portion of the film that Andy is
uncomfortable, out of touch and completely unaware of , yet he
strikes interest in the group to begin to collectively fantasize and ask
more questions, going deeper and deeper for a collective
understanding. What were the titties like? ( The 40 Year Old Virgin)
Andys response they felt like a bag of sand (The 40 Year Old Virgin
). At this point the three men have identified that Andy is a virgin. He
has no idea what he is really talking about, he is just fantasizing and
speaking out to remain apart of the group. Andys virginity has now

formed a collective group through a simple night out with the guys. By
sharing common fantasies this collection of co-workers has now
transformed into a cohesive group, which identifies symbolic
convergence.
Andy begins to develop within his newfound group. He
essentially has three life coaches that are guiding him through his
journey to lose his virginity. Powered by their own experience or lack
of the three other men want to help Andy, but also in some way live
vicariously through him. Andy begins to branch out, he starts to be
able to go further as and individual, stepping out of his social norms.
He is no longer on his set path, he has been diverted. His day to day
routine has been thrown off due to being part of a group that has
expectations of him as an individual. To achieve the overall goal of
losing his virginity and thus fulfilling the groups fantasy for him, Andy
must practice other ways of interaction. He takes the role of the
interaction position. Andy now has a blend of requirements from his
group and a different set of expectations for himself in how he must
act to be able achieve the desire within.
In a conversation at the book store with a girl named Beth Andy
practices the interaction position and is finding reciprocity throughout
his interaction with Beth. A series of questions are asked and form a
response with similar behavior. Are you looking for something? Beth
asked. Should I be looking for something? replied Andy. We have a

lot of do it yourself books. said Beth. Do you like to, do it yourself?

replied Andy. Sometimes Beth responded (The 40 Year Old Virgin). In
observing not only the conversation but also both Andy and Beths
body language in the scene, I gather that reciprocity has been
achieved. A series of questions leads to a similar action and response.
In this case it is positive and Beth seems intrigued by Andy. By the end
of the conversation she has practically given him and open-ended
invitation to pursue her, based on the common weird interest of the
conversation.
Through a series of events throughout The 40 Year old Virgin
Andy develops as a person in many different ways. He is forced to tap
into new layers within himself that help him find his common goal.
Along with the two theories I already covered I can conclude that, yes
the movie is about a 40 year old losing his virginity . But it is much
more than that . It is about a human developing at a later than socially
expected time in life. Throughout the movie Andy is used as a clear
example of social penetration theory.
Andy goes through a process where he must learn to develop
intimacy with other people. From his co-workers, people at a bar, a girl
in the bookstore and ultimately the woman that he is pursuing (Trish) .
Andy is one big onion. He exercises mutual self-disclosure with
almost everyone in this film, his co-workers, girls at the bar, his boss,
and most of all Trish. Andy finds himself in a constant predicament of

where to place these people inside the onion. Which people will benefit
him? Which people will hurt him? How deep will he allow them to go?
How much should he really open up about who he is and what he really
wants?
The finest example of mutual self-disclosure and personality
structure comes in the film when Andy is on his first date with Trish. As
Trish arrives at Andys house he will not even allow her inside the door.
He has also cleaned and cleared out his entire apartment of anything
that could be embarrassing or harmful to his chances of succeeding
with Trish. Trish can hardly even smell the onion. Andy and Trish then
sit down for dinner. The conversation is rather boring and bland.
Although it does starting to scratch the surface of the outside layer of
Andys onion, when Trish brings up the idea of giving sex some time in
their relationship, Andy finds a sense of relief. This is when an
immediate shift happens in the movie. Trish opens herself up to Andy
and puts a common feeling on the table Andy then immediately opens
up to Trish. This is when Andy really begins to pursue her. This is where
Andy has decided to trust Trish. Through self-disclosure both Trish and
Andy benefit, they are able to grow within their relationship and
explore deeper . They both begin finding new depths of penetration
that become acceptable in their relationship.
Through the depths of penetration both Andy and Trish
experience positive and negative results. They find what areas they

want to uncover and accept, and they find areas that they would prefer
to leave covered up. It is a sense of give and take that will ultimately
lead them to finding a way to accept each other and both achieve a
common happiness.
The 40 Year Old Virgin puts a comedic twist on a process that we
all go through in one way or another. It may not necessarily in the
exact scenario as Andy in the film, but we all experience this within our
own social and peer groups. Identifying these theories can often
outline where we may have success in life or sometimes failure. Media
uses these theories to create an audience, but if you observe your
surroundings you will find we are practicing these theories everyday.

Work Cited

The 40 Year Old Virgin. Dir. Judd Apatow. Prod. Judd Apatow, Clayton
Townsend, and Shauna Robertson. By Judd Apatow and Steve Carell.
Perf. Steve Carell and Catherine Keener. Universal Pictures, 2005.