Joshua Quinn - Ascension

Copyright 2006 by Joshua Quinn. All rights reserved.
2
Prepared for John Nesbit
johnjnesbit2@yahoo.com
EFFECT
You announce that you'd like to put your intuitive skills to
a real, measurable test. In order to do that, you explain, you
need some sort of benchmark to compare them against.
There are various items that could serve this purpose, from
tarot cards to personality tests. But because you like to set
the bar high, you've chosen the divinatory tool which,
throughout the history of esoteric practice, has generally
been regarded as the most trusted source of metaphysical
wisdom and insight into the human condition: a horoscope
mini-magazine, direct from the supermarket checkout
counter.
You give such a magazine to a volunteer, pointing out that
it deals with four distinct areas of life: love, money, health,
and leisure. You then turn your back and ask her to look up
her horoscope -- either for the current month (if it's far
along enough to get a good sense of how it's turning out),
or for the previous month (if it's too soon to tell how this
month is going yet). In either case, she silently reads her
horoscope. When she's finished, you ask her to consider
how accurate it seems in hindsight. She does, and arrives at
a "percentage score" for the magazine's accuracy, which
you write down. No matter what it is, you say you think
you can do better.
You then turn to face the volunteer again, and proceed to
give her a disarmingly accurate and insightful description
of her personality and her current situation in life. You
relay a wealth of specific information that you had no way
of knowing, including personal details about her character,
actions, and circumstances. You then wrap things up by
revealing her zodiac sign. With that, not only have you
done better than the magazine, but you've given the
volunteer an intimate, inexplicable experience that she'll
never forget.
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METHOD
There are 10 types of mentalists in the world: those who
will get the crux of the method from this statement, and
those who won't...
The participant and the rest of the audience believe that
every horoscope in the magazine deals with the same four
categories. This is almost, but not quite, true; they all deal
with the same four general topics, but there are variations
in the actual names of the categories. As a result, each sign
has its own unique combination of category names.
Therefore, when the participant says the names of the
categories in her horoscope (while assessing its accuracy),
she unknowingly reveals which sign she's looking at. Once
you know her sign, you know what her horoscope says.
And by comparing what it says with how accurate she
deems each part of it to be, you get a very good idea of
what kind of month she's having and by extension, what
kind of person she is.
DETERMINING THE SIGN
Each of the four categories can have one of two possible
names, as follows:
The first will be either Love or Romance.
The second will be either Finance or Money.
The third will be either Health or Wellness.
The fourth will be either Leisure or Recreation.
While introducing the proceedings, you'll describe each
category in a way that will seem congruent with either of
its possible names. (More on this later.)
To get the information you need, all you have to do is get
the participant to say the names of each of the four
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categories she's looking at. I'll discuss various

presentational angles for this later, but for explanatory
purposes, the simplest way is to ask her to "go through and
rate each of those categories based on how accurate they
turned out to be. On a scale of one to five, with five being
very accurate, three being so-so, and one being not even
close, how would you rate each area?" Then openly write
down her responses, ostensibly to create a kind of "score
sheet" against which you can later compare your own
performance. Something like this:
Love - 3
Finance - 5
Wellness - 2
Leisure - 1
Once you have the category names, checking them against
the following key will tell you her sign:
Love, Finance, Health, Leisure Aries
Love, Finance, Health, Recreation Taurus
Love, Finance, Wellness, Leisure Gemini
Love, Finance, Wellness, Recreation Cancer
Love, Money, Health, Leisure Leo
Love, Money, Health, Recreation Virgo
Love, Money, Wellness, Leisure Libra
Love, Money, Wellness, Recreation Scorpio
Romance, Money, Health, Leisure Sagittarius
Romance, Money, Health, Recreation Capricorn
Romance, Money, Wellness, Leisure Aquarius
Romance, Money, Wellness, Recreation Pisces
So in the above example, the participant would be a
Gemini.
You could memorize all that, but since you're writing
things down anyway, there's no reason not to keep the key
5
on a crib sheet. Youll probably want to save space by

using abbreviations rather than whole words, i.e. LFHL
Ari rather than Love, Finance, Health, Leisure Aries.
Samples are provided a bit later.
DETERMINING WHAT THE HOROSCOPE SAYS
Once you know the participant's sign, figuring out what her
horoscope says is simple. But before I explain it, I first
need to talk briefly about the layout of the magazines. As
you can see, there are four of them one for each season.
You'll only use one at any given time, and the working is
the same for all of them. The point to remember for now is
that each magazine contains three months' worth of
horoscopes. The spring magazine contains the months
March, April, and May; summer contains June, July, and
August, etc.
Now, with that out of the way, here's how you learn what
the horoscope says. While all the forecasts in the various
categories are different, they can all be summed up in one
of two sentences: either, "This area of your life will be
good," or, "This area of your life will be bad." Of course
they all say those things in different ways, and they have
some platitudinous advice thrown in to flesh them out, but
they all boil down to one of those two sentiments. The
distribution of good and bad categories is different for each
sign and each month. There are two ways to determine
which categories are good and which are bad in your
participant's horoscope: work it out in your head, or get it
from the crib sheet. First I'll explain how to do it mentally,
then how to encode it on the crib.
The letters in the name of the participants sign (Pisces or
Virgo or whatever) will tell you whether each category is
good or bad. You'll look at four consecutive letters, each
corresponding to a different category. So you'll start with a
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certain letter, and it will tell you about the Love/Romance

category.
The next letter will tell you about the
Finance/Money category, and so on. The simple rule is:
Early = good; Late = bad.
What that means is, if a letter is in the first half of the
alphabet (A through M), the category that corresponds to it
is good. If a letter is in the latter half of the alphabet (N
through Z), the category that corresponds to it is bad.
Now all that's left is to determine which letter you'll start
with, which depends on what month you have your
participant looking at. If she's looking at the first month in
the magazine (March for spring, June for summer, etc.),
you start with the first letter in the sign. If she's looking at
the second month, you start with the second letter, and if
it's the third month, you start with the third letter.
If that sounds complicated, this example should clear it up.
Suppose the participant is a Pisces, and you're using the fall
magazine, which deals with September, October, and
November. If she's looking at the September horoscope,
that's the first month, so you use the first four letters: PISC.
So, P is late, which means the Romance reading is bad; I is
early, so the Money reading is good; S is late, so the
Wellness reading is bad; and C is early, so the Recreation
reading is good. Pretty straightforward.
Now suppose she's looking at October, the second month.
In that case, you start with the second letter, the I. So your
key letters are ISCE. I is early, so the Romance reading is
good; S is late, so Money is bad; C is early, so Wellness is
good; and E is early, so Recreation is good.
Finally, if she's looking at November (the third month), you
start with the third letter, so the letters are SCES. S is late,
so Love is bad; C is early, so Romance is good; E is early,
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so Wellness is good; and S is late, so Recreation is bad.

The only snag in this system is that with the shorter sign
names, occasionally you'll run out of letters. When that
happens, start again at the beginning. Take, for example,
Virgo. For the first month, you'll use VIRG. Second
month, IRGO. But with the third month, you'll use R, G,
O, and then start over with the V, so the sequence is
RGOV. Since Leo is only three letters long, you'll do this
every time. The first month will use LEOL; the second,
EOLE; and the third, OLEO.
If all this seems hopelessly confusing, you can rejoice in
the fact that you can put it on your crib sheet and never
have to think about it again. And even when you
understand it, the danger of messing up the steps in the heat
of performance is a real one, so including the info on your
crib sheet is probably not a bad idea anyway.
There are two ways to notate the information, depending on
your preference for convenience versus foolproof-ness.
The more foolproof way is to make three separate crib
sheets one for the first months, one for the second
months, and one for the third months and use whichever
one goes with the month you're dealing with at the time.
This gives you all the information you need, and none that
you don't. (In other words, assuming you have the right
crib sheet, there's nothing to mess up.) The more
convenient way is to have a single crib sheet with three
separate good/bad columns one for each set of months.
This gives you only one sheet to keep track of, but creates
the opportunity for error if you look at the wrong column.
On the following pages are some sample crib sheets
individual ones for the first, second, and third months, and
then one that combines all three.
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First months (March, June, September, December):

L
L
L
L
L
L
L
L
R
R
R
R
F
F
F
F
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
H
H
W
W
H
H
W
W
H
H
W
W
L
R
L
R
L
R
L
R
L
R
L
R
Ari
Tau
Gem
Can
Leo
Vir
Lib
Sco
Sag
Cap
Aqu
Pis
GBGG
BGBB
GGGG
GGBG
GGBG
BGBG
GGGB
BGBB
BGGG
GGBB
GBBG
BGBG
Second months (January, April, July, October):

L
L
L
L
L
L
L
L
R
R
R
R
F
F
F
F
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
H
H
W
W
H
H
W
W
H
H
W
W
L
R
L
R
L
R
L
R
L
R
L
R
Ari
Tau
Gem
Can
Leo
Vir
Lib
Sco
Sag
Cap
Aqu
Pis
BGGB
GBBB
GGGB
GBGG
GBGG
GBGB
GGBG
GBBB
GGGB
GBBG
BBGB
GBGG
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Third months (February, May, August, November):

L
L
L
L
L
L
L
L
R
R
R
R
F
F
F
F
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
H
H
W
W
H
H
W
W
H
H
W
W
L
R
L
R
L
R
L
R
L
R
L
R
Ari
Tau
Gem
Can
Leo
Vir
Lib
Sco
Sag
Cap
Aqu
Pis
GGBG
BBBB
GGBG
BGGB
BGGB
BGBB
GBGG
BBBG
GGBB
BBGG
BGBG
BGGB
1st:
GBGG,
BGBB,
GGGG,
GGBG,
GGBG,
BGBG,
GGGB,
BGBB,
BGGG,
GGBB,
GBBG,
BGBG,
Combined:
L
L
L
L
L
L
L
L
R
R
R
R
F
F
F
F
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
H
H
W
W
H
H
W
W
H
H
W
W
L
R
L
R
L
R
L
R
L
R
L
R
ARI
TAU
GEM
CAN
LEO
VIR
LIB
SCO
SAG
CAP
AQU
PIS
2nd:
BGGB,
GBBB,
GGGB,
GBGG,
GBGG,
GBGB,
GGBG,
GBBB,
GGGB,
GBBG,
BBGB,
GBGG,
3rd:
GGBG
BBBB
GGBG
BGGB
BGGB
BGBB
GBGG
BBBG
GGBB
BBGG
BGBG
BGGB
This last one, incidentally, is how the crib sheet on the back
cover of the magazines is set up. (Did I mention there was
a crib sheet on the back of the magazines? More on that
later.)
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LEARNING DETAILS ABOUT THE PARTICIPANT

In practice, the process that has just taken me four pages to
explain requires about two seconds to execute, after which
you have a great deal of useful information. Not only do
you know the participant's sign, but you know whether all
four of the magazine's forecasts were good or bad.
Furthermore, you know how accurate each of those
forecasts turned out to be, because she's just told you and
you've written it down. From there it's a short leap to
determine what kind of month your participant is having in
each area. For example, assume her Love forecast was
good. If she rated it as very accurate, then obviously her
love life is going quite well. If she rated it as somewhat
accurate, things in the romance department are probably
just okay neither stellar nor awful. If she rated it as not at
all accurate, then chances are that either there's simply
nothing happening, or else someone is sleeping on the
couch. And of course if the forecast was bad, you simply
apply the same logic in reverse. Do that with all four
categories, and you'll have a lot of information. Combine
those pieces of information together to see what else you
can infer from them, and you'll know more about the
participant than you would be likely to learn at a job
interview, first date, or reality show audition all from just
a few words.
Once you've got the information, turning it into a
compelling presentation is then up to your own
performance skill and showmanship. Cold reading abilities
will obviously help augment what you already know, but
even if you have no experience in that area, you still know
enough to give an uncannily accurate and impossibleseeming reading. Even if you did nothing but feed back the
bare bones information ("Your love life was so-so, and
your finances sucked. But your health was great, and your
leisure time was pretty decent. Oh, and you're an Aries."),
you would at least get credit for having some measure of
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intuitive insight, along with being a wretched performer

and generally horrid person.
At first read this might seem like a lot to keep track of, but
in practice it's quick and straightforward and requires very
little in the way of memory. To see what I mean, follow
me through...
A HYPOTHETICAL EXAMPLE
From the top: You go through your spiel, get a volunteer,
give her the magazine, have her read her horoscope, and
ask her to rate the categories. She does, and you write
down what she says. Suppose she rates them as follows:
Love - 4
Money - 5
Health - 1
Recreation - 2
You check the names against your crib sheet, and find
"LMHR Vir BGBG." This tells you that she's a Virgo,
and that her categories are in "bad, good, bad, good" order.
In other words, Love is bad, Money is good, Health is bad,
and Recreation is good.
Now you compare those against her accuracy ratings to
arrive at some tentative conclusions. Her Love forecast
was bad and she gave it a 4 out of 5 for accuracy, so things
probably haven't been up to par in the romance
department. Her good Money forecast was spot-on with a
5, meaning she's probably having quite a lucrative month.
Her bad Health forecast was way off with a 1, meaning
she's probably feeling fine with no medical problems. And
her good Recreation forecast only rated a 2, so she
probably doesn't have a lot of free time at the moment and
isn't getting to have much fun.
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By putting these pieces together, you can start to form a

fairly complete picture. You have someone who's doing
well financially and is in good health, but lacks free time
and doesn't have a particularly stellar love life at the
moment. It's a reasonable guess that her job takes up most
of her time, leaving little leftover for herself or for a
relationship. Someone in this situation is probably smart,
capable and motivated, but may tend to bite off more than
she can chew. And remember, you've gotten this much
without any feedback from her at all. By starting from this
point and using whatever cold reading skills you've
acquired observing her appearance and her verbal and
non-verbal reactions, employing a bit of linguistic
chicanery, etc.1 you may be able to glean a good deal
more, such as: whether she enjoys devoting so much time
to making money, or would prefer a change; whether her
unsatisfying love life is due to a lack of relationships, or a
relationship that's not going well; and whether her health is
good most of the time, or is sometimes adversely effected
by being constantly on the go, etc.
For the kicker, wrap things up with some inspiring and
complimentary observations, and proclaim that it all bears
the mark of a Virgo. With that, you've just told her more
about herself than anyone could possibly know unless they
were psychic (right?). Wait for her reaction, then finish by
referring back to the ratings card, and asking if you were
more accurate than the magazine. Obviously you should
1
Details of these and other cold reading techniques are beyond the
scope of this manuscript. If youre new to cold reading, there are many
resources available to help you learn and just about as many opinions
as to which one is the best place to start. Rather than give you my
opinion, I'll recommend you look at Doug Dyment's cold reading
resource web page at http://www.deceptionary.com/aboutreading.html.
It provides a comprehensive list of print, audio and video publications,
with helpful commentaries and availability information for each title.
13
get not just a yes, but hopefully a spontaneous, gushing

rave about your piercing insight and astonishing sense of
intuition.
DESCRIBING THE CATEGORIES
The only real swindle this effect requires is to subtly
convey the false impression that all the signs deal with the
same four categories. This deception has to be perpetrated
on the participant, who's actually looking at the magazine,
and on the audience, who will never see the magazine up
close but will hear the categories as she announces them.
This is accomplished through the use of subtly ambiguous
language. In a nutshell, you'll describe each category with
a statement that includes both of its possible names, but
uses them in such a way that each one could be perceived
either as a label or as a descriptor. Your participant will
then resolve the ambiguity about which is which according
to her own expectations. In other words, the word that she
expects to be the category name (because she's looking at it
in the magazine) will come across as the category name,
and the other word will come across as a descriptor. Here
is the script I use:
"Each horoscope is divided into four different sections.
The first one tells you about your love life romance,
how you'll fare in matters of the heart. Then there's the
financial category, how you'll do with money. The next
one deals with your health, or 'wellness' as some people
insist on calling it these days. And finally there's the
recreational category, your leisure time, and how much of it
you'll have to enjoy."
Of course you can and should adjust this to fit your own
speech. But to do so, you need to understand exactly how
each statement works. Therefore, at the risk of driving the
point into the ground, I'm going to go through them
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individually and break

interpretations are elicited.
down
how
the
different
"The first one tells you about your love life romance,
how you'll fare in matters of the heart." If your participant
hears this statement and sees that the category is Love, it
sounds congruent because that's the first thing you said:
"The first one tells you about your Love life." The rest of
the sentence is then perceived merely as further
elaboration. The statement could be paraphrased as, "The
first one is Love category. It deals with romance and how
you'll fare in matters of the heart." But if the category is
Romance, it's also congruent, but in a different way. In that
case, when she hears, "the first one tells you about your
love life," she interprets that as a description of the
category rather than a label for it. The label comes next,
with the word, Romance, and again the rest is further
elaboration. It would be paraphrased as, "The first one tells
you about your love life. It's the Romance category. It
tells you how you'll fare in matters of the heart."
"Then there's the financial category, how you'll do with
money." If the category is Finance, the first part of the
sentence seems to confirm it because, in this context,
there's no significant difference between the words
"finance" and "financial." The paraphrase would be, "Then
there's the Finance category. It tells you how you'll do with
money." But if the category is Money, again the first part
seems like a description leading up to the actual name:
"Then there's the financial category, which tells you how
you'll do with Money."
"The next one deals with your health, or 'wellness' as some
people insist on calling it these days." This one works
slightly differently. If the category is Health, then the first
part is obviously stating what the category is, and the rest is
just a slightly humorous but essentially meaningless quip.
Paraphrased, it's, "The next one is Health, even though
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some people insist on calling health 'wellness' these days."

But if it's Wellness, then you're pre-defining the term
before you say it by name. "The next one deals with
something that most people call health, but that some,
including the magazine, insist on calling Wellness."
"And finally there's the recreational category, your leisure
time, and how much of it you'll have to enjoy." This one is
functionally the same as the Finance/Money statement. But
note that their placement relative to each other is no
accident; they're the two most similar statements, so they're
separated by the one that's the most unlike the others.
If I'm doing this effect one-on-one or with a small group in
an intimate setting, I'll deliver the above spiel to the
participant just after she turns to the proper page in the
magazine. Then while she reads her horoscope, I'll either
simply remain quiet, or else improvise something else to
say to the rest of the audience to fill time while she reads.
But in a parlor or stage context, I'll deliver the spiel to the
audience while the participant reads, prefaced with
something like, "While she's reading, let me tell you about
how the horoscopes are organized in this particular
magazine." In either case, what I say while she's reading is
delivered in a softer-than-normal voice bordering on a stage
whisper. This lets her know, without actually saying so,
that what I'm saying at the moment isn't directed at her and
isn't important to her, so she shouldn't let it distract her
from what she's reading.
PRESENTATION AND HANDLING OPTIONS
Ascension is flexible enough to be presented in just about
any way you like straight or humorous, light or serious,
onstage or one-on-one or anywhere in between. If you're
the sort of performer who wishes to perpetuate the belief
that peoples aptitudes, tastes, and compatibilities really are
16
affected by miniscule fluctuations in the position of our

little chunk of cosmic rock relative to some unimaginably
distant balls of burning gas at the arbitrary moment we
emerge from the womb, Ascension can help you do so. If
you'd prefer to illustrate the unlikelihood of such a notion,
it can help you do that as well. Or if you don't care to
project a stance on the matter either way and simply wish
to use it as a strong piece of mentalism, that's an equally
viable option.
The one thing your presentation must do is justify the
presence and use of the magazine. There are various ways
of going about this. My own approach is with the rather
tongue-in-cheek but faux-serious premise outlined in the
effect description. The bit about using the divinatory tool
which, throughout the history of esoteric practice, has
generally been regarded as the single most trusted source of
metaphysical wisdom and insight into the human condition:
the venerable horoscope mini-magazine, direct from the
supermarket checkout counter, is straight out of my reallife script. But you could just as easily set up the effect as a
serious demonstration of the difference between junk
readings (the magazine) and the real stuff (your own
technique or system, whatever it may be). Or if astrology
is your hook, you can demonstrate the difference between
bad astrology (generic magazine/newspaper horoscopes)
and good astrology (the kind of detailed, personalized
reading you can provide).
Now that you understand what happens in the effect, heres
the handling I use in real life. In the magazines, each
category has a small graphic symbol next to it: a heart for
Love/Romance, a dollar sign for Finance/Money, a stick
person in a kind of dancing pose for Health/Wellness
(which was the most common image I found when I
Googled "health logo"), and a smiley face for
Leisure/Recreation. As I describe the categories, I draw the
corresponding symbols in a vertical column on the paper
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that will become the score sheet. This serves a couple of

useful psychological purposes. First, it helps the audience
keep track of what Im saying. Second, it subtly reinforces
the idea that Ive told them what the four categories are,
and have put them in writing. (The beauty is that by
writing a symbol rather than a word, Ive reinforced the
concept without tying it to a specific term.)
Then when the participant rates the categories, I simply
write each number next to its corresponding symbol.
However, I write the number in a way that will remind me
which category name she used. To do this, I think of each
pair of names in terms of their alphabetical order, so each
name is either first or last alphabetically. (Love is first,
Romance is last. Finance is first, Money is last, and so on.)
Then when she says the categories, if she calls one by its
first name, I make a small ink blotch or tick mark at the
beginning of the number as I write it; if she calls it by its
last name, I make a mark at the end of the number. That
way if I forget what she called the categories, I can remind
myself by looking at the formation of the numbers. The
numbers below indicate first, first, last, last, which
translates into Love, Finance, Wellness, Recreation.
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Doing it this way also has the advantage that if someone

later looks at the sheet while flipping through the magazine,
the sheet is less likely to give the game away.
I should also note that when I ask the participant to rate the
categories, I do it much more conversationally than
described earlier. Typically it goes something like this:
Now, out of the four categories in the horoscope, which
one would you say was the most accurate? Look at them
again if you dont remember Wellness? So if you were
going to rate it on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being really
accurate, 3 being so-so, and 1 being not even close, what
would you give it? A 4? So not dead on, but pretty close.
[At this point I write a 4 with a tick mark at the end next to
the appropriate symbol.] Okay, now look at the categories
again, and tell me which one was the least accurate?
Finance? Okay, and on a scale of 1 to 5, what would you
give it? A 1? So it wasnt even in the ballpark. [I write a
1 with a tick mark at the beginning.] And I guess the two
other categories were kind of in the middle, but what order
would you put them in as far as which was more accurate
than the other? Recreation was better than Love? So what
kind of number ratings would you give them? I write the
appropriate numbers with the appropriate tick marks in the
appropriate places. Then I add all the numbers up and turn
the total into a percentage the above example would be
12 out of 20, or 60% which becomes the number I focus
on beating. This draws attention away from the
individual number ratings.
Points to notice: asking specific questions, one category at
a time, makes the participant feel less on the spot than
asking her to talk about all of them at once. Also, the
requests to keep looking at the magazine insure that shell
use the right name, rather than going from memory and
possibly using the wrong word (with disastrous results).
19
Note that my back is turned to the participant during the

entire exchange. I make it clear at the beginning that Im
going to keep my back to her the whole time shes looking
at the book, because I dont want her to accidentally give
anything away I dont want to accidentally see her sign or
what section of the book shes looking at or anything.
Clarifying this at the outset prevents it from seeming
awkward during the later conversation.
As far as whether to use the current or previous month, my
cutoff date is the 20th. If its later than that, I have the
participant use the current month because even though this
month isnt quite over, its close enough that you have a
pretty good sense of how its going. If its before, I have
them look up the previous month because its too early to
really tell how this month is going yet, or what have you.
Finally, a word about the order of things. Once you have
the information, of course you can present it in whatever
way and whatever order you like. However, I strongly
suggest saving the zodiac sign for the end, for two reasons.
First, it provides a theatrically solid conclusion to the
routine. You've been gleaning bits and pieces of the
participant's life and personality, and by apparently putting
those pieces together to divine her sign, you bring things to
an obvious end which is both theatrically satisfying and
congruent with the initial premise. The unspoken subtext is
that not only do you not need to know her sign to tell her
about herself, but you can see into her personality so
acutely that you can determine her sign from that. The
second reason is that saving it for last makes the whole
routine look more like a feat of pure intuitive reading, and
less like what it really is from a technical, methodological
standpoint, which is a book test and for that matter, one
with a very small book that you provide. If you begin by
announcing her sign, the message you send isn't, "I can tell
you about yourself," but rather, "I know what page you
were just looking at." From that starting point, an
20
intelligent and analytical spectator could easily think, "I'm

not sure how he knew she was a Scorpio, but once he knew
that, he'd be able to figure out the rest from what she told
him if he had that little book memorized." And they would
be essentially right. Putting things the other way around
will prevent this line of thought from ever occurring.
21
THE BUILT-IN CRIB SHEET

Heres the back cover of one of the magazines:
As you can see, the crib is disguised as a simple chart to

look up which dates go with which signs. The columns of
brackets ( < and > ) are where information is encoded. The
column in between the dates and the signs tells you the
participant's sign, and the three columns to the right of the
signs tell you the good/bad configurations. (If a spectator
ever asks about them, you can say you think they might be
some kind of runic symbol, though I have yet to have
22
anyone question them.)

We'll deal with the sign column first. In order for it to
make sense, it will help if you think of the opening brackets
( < ) as arrows pointing backward, and the closing brackets
( > ) as arrows pointing forward. The four brackets
represent the four category names based on their
alphabetical order, as in the second handling described
earlier. A backward arrow indicates the first possibility,
and a forward arrow indicates the last possibility. So for
example, " < > < < " translates into "first, last, first, first."
To put it into practice, suppose you get the categories,
"Romance, Money, Wellness, Leisure." You notate them
as "last, last, last, first." That means you'll look for the
corresponding sequence of arrows, ".>.>.>.<.". You find
that on the chart, and see that it's next to Aquarius, so that
is your participant's sign.
Now for the good/bad status. The idea is the same, only
now the < arrows represent good, and the > arrows
represent bad. (This follows the rule: Early = good; Later =
bad.) As in the combined crib sheet described earlier, the
first column is for the first month in the magazine, the
middle column is for the second month, and the last column
is for the third month. So, continuing with the previous
example... you've learned that your participant is an
Aquarius, and suppose she's looking at the July horoscope.
July is the second month, so you look at the middle column
in the Aquarius row, and find ".>.>.<.>.". That translates
into "bad, bad, good, bad." So Romance is bad, Money is
bad, Wellness is good, and Leisure is bad.
I should point out that I didnt originally plan on putting a
crib sheet on the cover because it would require you to
handle the magazine in mid-effect, thus weakening it
unnecessarily. I included one anyway because, despite my
solid reasoning, everyone I shared the effect with still
wanted one. Then Jheff from Marketplace of the Mind
23
pointed out that if you initially displayed two magazines

(one for this season and an old one from last season), you
could use the extra one as the crib. If youre going to use
the built-in crib, I strongly suggest this is how you do it,
and I thank Jheff for allowing me to include his fine idea
here. Now please excuse me while I go kick myself for not
thinking of it on my own
ASSEMBLING THE MAGAZINES
Before I explain how to print and assemble the magazines,
I must tell you that most people find the process a good
deal more difficult, time-consuming, and frustrating than
they thought it would be. In fact, thats the very reason I
started offering this as a complete effect with the
magazines included, rather than selling it solely as an ebook as per my initial plan. So if, once you read this, you
decide that making your own magazines isnt worth your
while after all, you can take part in my upgrade offer and
get a set of pre-printed magazines for only $20 + $5
shipping. Thats the price difference between the e-book
and the complete package, and its $10 off the regular price
of a set of magazines. If youd like to do this, send the
payment via PayPal, with Upgrade offer in the subject
line, to JoshuaQ@mentallyimpossible.com,
With that out of the way, I'll explain the most efficient way
of putting the magazines together, thereby saving you from
all the mistakes I made. Besides a computer and a printer,
you will need the following:
Glossy paper for the covers. Not photo paper, which is
thick, but rather the kind that's sometimes called
"presentation paper" or "brochure paper." In fact, you want
the thinnest, cheapest glossy paper you can find. Many
copy shops will sell it to you by the sheet, which is good
since you only need one sheet per magazine (and a whole
24
packet won't come cheap). However, be sure to get the

right kind for your printer, because if you try to use glossy
laser paper in an inkjet printer, it won't be a good day.
Regular paper for the rest of the pages. Originally I used
actual newsprint paper, which is what real mini-magazines
are printed on. Then I realized that no one was going to
spot the difference between real newsprint paper and cheap
copy paper that had been colored to look like newsprint
paper. Any sort of general-purpose 20-lb white printer
paper or copy paper will do the job.
A stapler. But not just any stapler; you need one with a
four-inch "throat depth," which means it can put a staple
four inches inward from the edge of a page. Most office
staplers are made this way, but most "home" models aren't.
If you don't have one that fits the bill but you don't want to
buy one, any copy shop should have one you can use.
A razor knife. I recommend the kind with the snap-off
blades, since cutting paper will dull them quickly.
A T-square. While you could theoretically get by with just
a straight edge, a T-square makes the construction so much
easier that you'd be foolish not to get one. I use a threedollar plastic one from Office Depot, and it works like a
charm.
Once you've got all these, you're ready to go. The order of
the steps might seem counterintuitive, but trust me, it's the
best way. You're going to print first, then fold, then cut,
then staple, then cut again.
First, the printing. How you handle the pages will depend
on what kind of printer you have. For our purposes, desktop
printers can be broadly divided into two kinds: the kind
where the paper is loaded into the top, which Ill call top
loaders; and the kind where the paper is loaded into the
25
front, which Ill call (you guessed it) front loaders. With
top loaders, the paper comes out facing the same direction
as when it went in. But with front loaders, the paper gets
flipped over as its printed, so the side thats facing up
when the paper goes in will be facing down when it comes
out. Because of this, some steps will have different
directions for front loaders and top loaders.
For explanatory purposes, let's assume you're starting with
the spring magazine. Well start with the outside and inside
covers, which are on pages 34 and 38 of this document,
respectively. (The inside covers only appear once, since
theyre the same in all the magazines.) Its best to print the
inside covers first because they put less ink on the page,
which warps the paper less, which makes it easier to feed
back through the printer a second time. So load a sheet of
glossy paper into the printer and print page 38. Important
note: assuming youre using Adobe Reader, make sure the
Print Scaling option in the print dialog box is set to None,
and the Auto-Rotate and Center box is checked. Once
page 38 is printed, load that same sheet back into the
printer, oriented so that the other side of the page will now
be printed. If you have a top loader, that means put it in
with the blank side up; if you have a front loader, put it in
with the printed side up and the blank side down. Also,
make sure you orient it with the top edge of the paper going
in first (no matter which kind of printer you have). Then
print page 34. Obviously, make sure you print the cover in
color, and use the highest quality print setting.
Now for the body pages. Load the plain paper into the
printer and hit Print. In the Adobe Reader print dialog box,
select the option to print Odd pages only under the
Subset menu. Next, if youre using a front loader, check
the Reverse pages box, which will cause the pages to
print in reverse order; if youre using a top loader, leave the
box unchecked. Then print pages 39 to 76. When theyre
finished printing, let the ink dry for a few minutes, then
26
load the whole stack back into the printer to print the other
sides. Again, if youre using a top loader, put them in
blank sides up; if youre using a front loader, put them in
printed sides up. And whichever type youve got, make
sure the top edges go in first. Then hit Print again, and this
time when the dialog box comes up, change the Subset
menu option to Even pages only. Also, make sure the
Reverse pages box in NOT checked, regardless of printer
type. Then print pages 39 to 76 again. When the printing
is finished, you should have all the pages printed on both
sides, and in the correct order; one of the outer-facing
pages should show the table of contents and an
advertisement, and the one on the other side should show
pages 38 and 39 (of the magazine, not this document).
Next comes the folding, which is easy because you can
pretty much do it all at once. Take the entire stack of pages
except for the cover, and fold them in half lengthwise.
(Reality check: make sure you fold them so the contents
page ends up on the outside, and pages 38 and 39 become
the centerfold.) Once youve got a good crease in them,
separate them into packets of 4 or 5 pages and sharpen the
creases, then reassemble them. Then fold the cover the
same way, by itself, and put it over the rest of the pages.
What you would like to do next is staple the pages together,
but unfortunately you cant, because a standard office
stapler is about a quarter of an inch too short. So first you
have to cut away part of the pages to allow the stapler to
reach its target. To do this, unfold the stack, and lay the
whole thing face-down onto your cutting surface, with the
cover on top and the fold sticking up into the air. Press the
stack down as flat as it will go, making sure the folds stay
lined up. Then take the T-square and put the T along the
top edge of the pages, so that the straight edge lines up with
the short black lines indicating the right edge of the cover.
Then take the razor knife and start slicing through the
stack, cutting from the top edge of the paper down to just
27
below where the graphics end. This will leave a whole

booklets worth of narrow strips along the edge, which will
just get in your way, so tear them off.
Now you have enough room to staple. Again make sure the
folds are aligned, and put two staples through the center of
the magazine, about a third of the way in from the top and
bottom. The tricky part is that the staples have to go right
through the fold. If youre off by an eighth of an inch,
thats no good, and youll have to pull them out and start
again. To avoid this, its best to practice first by putting
some staples through lines on a piece of scrap paper, so you
can learn exactly where the staples come out of your
stapler. (And if practicing your stapler accuracy makes you
feel a bit foolish, thats the price you pay for doing this
yourself.) Once theyre in, the booklet should close
normally.
Finally, the rest of the cutting. Flip the booklet over so the
back cover faces up. Off to the left side youll see two
short black lines indicating the top and bottom edges of the
magazine. Get the T-square, put the T against the spine of
the booklet, line up the straight edge with the bottom edge
mark, and slice all the way through the booklet. Then do
the same thing with the top edge mark. Cutting through
this many pages is trickier than youd think, but patience is
the key. Make many strokes with light pressure rather than
trying to slice through the whole stack at once. The
trickiest part will be the armpit of the T, and you may
need to flip the booklet over to get all the way through that
spot. Once youve got the top and bottom edges cut, flip
the booklet over to the front. Line up the T against the top
edge, with straight edge just slightly inside the right edge of
the cover, and slice through the whole stack again to even
up the right edges of the pages.
Ta-daa!
With that, you've got yourself a genuine
horoscope mini-magazine.
28
PARTING THOUGHTS
If youre working on developing your cold reading skills,
this effect can serve as a useful training tool, as it gives you
an excellent opportunity to practice with a very large safety
net in place. With so much solid information at your
disposal, you can afford take some chances, knowing youll
have plenty to fall back on if they miss. You also have the
option of taking down the necessary information, but then
starting your reading genuinely cold and seeing how you
do. Then you can heat it up with information from the
effect as needed, to enhance (or bail out) what you get (or
dont get) on your own.
Another point to mention: since you never have to see the
magazine, its possible to perform Ascension over the
phone. Of course this involves sending one of the
magazines to someone, so you wont be doing it for every
random person. But for someone whos worth going out of
your way to impress a potentially lucrative client, a radio
or TV host, etc. I know of no other over-the-phone effect
that can compare. (And I say that as a certified phone effect
junkie. Dont get me wrong, there are some fine ones out
there. But as conventional mentalism wisdom dictates,
theres simply no way that telling someone what randomlyselected number or card or word theyre thinking of, even
under the most impossibly remote conditions, can compare
to telling them intimate details about their own life.) My
suggestion is to send a package with the magazine in a
separate envelope inside, with instructions not to open it
until the recipient speaks to you. Then once youve got her
on the phone, have her open the envelope and do the
routine as usual. If youre afraid she might start poring
over the magazine later, heres a ploy to destroy the
evidence. Once youve got what you need, say, All right,
so youve read what the magazine has to say, now Id like
you to forget about it. Put it out of your mind completely,
because if youre thinking about it, that will interfere with
29
what were trying to do. In fact, to help you do that, go

ahead and tear up the magazine. Seriously, we dont need
it any more, so just rip it up into little bits. The symbolism
of destroying it will help clear your mind, and make it
easier for us to form a connection
I should point out that the magazines are designed so that a
casual glance through them will hide the differences in
category titles. The graphic image next to each category is
larger, bolder, and closer to the edge of the page than the
name of the category. So as someone flips through the
magazine, their attention is drawn to the consistent images
rather than the inconsistent text:
Also, a note about the covers: Among the various

astrology-related mini-magazines published in the U.S.,
there really is a series called Your Spring Horoscope, Your
30
Summer Horoscope, etc., available at finer supermarket

checkout counters everywhere. Not coincidentally, they're
the same size as the magazines used here. That means that
if you like, rather than using the supplied covers, you can
just go to your local supermarket, buy the current issue,
take off the cover, and staple it onto your magazine.
Although I'm proud of the covers Ive created, and I firmly
believe that they capture, with verve and aplomb, the
quintessence and aesthetic sense of a genuine, cheaply
produced mini-mag, I confess that in practice, I just use the
ones from the real magazines.
Finally, for those who didnt get the line about 10 types of
mentalists, its an adaptation of an old math geek joke:
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who
understand binary, and those who dont. Because a 1
followed by a 0 is how you write the number 2 in binary.
And the method for this effect relies on a binary process.
So its funny, dammit.
Sad humor aside, this effect, performed properly, is as
powerful as any in mentalism. Enjoy it, and use it well. If
you have questions, comments, suggestions, or stories
about how Ascension has worked for you, Id love to hear
them,
so
dont
hesitate to
email me at:
JoshuaQ@mentallyimpossible.com
Joshua Quinn, May 2006
31
CREDITS AND THANKS

The main inspiration for this effect came from Leo
Boudreaus brilliant but largely overlooked work with
binary codes, primarily from his book Skullduggery (1989,
currently available in electronic format from Lybrary.com).
Many thanks to Leo for his support and for sharing his
thoughts.
To my knowledge, the only remotely similar effect in the
literature is Edward Steins Astrostar (2001, available in
the U.S. from Stevens Magic), though I wasnt aware of it
when I created Ascension. It uses a related prop (a
hardback astrology book) to achieve a somewhat related
effect (divining someones birth date) via a partially similar
method (which youll have to buy it to learn).
Thanks to everyone who allowed me to use their name,
image, and web site address in the ads, thus enabling me
to produce an authentically cheesy looking magazine
without violating any copyrights.
And speaking of gratuitous ads in the back pages of
booklets
32
33





Begin Spring

Aries
Mar. 21 - Apr. 19
MARCH
a
LOVE
As the month gets going, get ready for some

tremendous sparks to fly. You may even
surprise yourself with the excitement you
cause. This is genuinely one of those times
when things just seem to click into place, and
your good feelings rub off on everyone around
you -- most of all, the lucky guy or girl who
gets to reap the benefits!
FINANCE
Some months, everything in your financial life

just seems to go right. Unfortunately, this
doesn't look to be one of those months. Play
things close to your vest, and you'll be able to
2

ride out the challenges of this difficult period.

Better luck is surely around the corner,
probably by sometime next month.
HEALTH
No news is good news on the health front, and
lucky for you, that's just what you can expect
the entirety of this month. You've generally
been taking good care of yourself, and as long
as you keep it up, you shouldn't have any
problem keeping the doctor away.
LEISURE
Even though youve got business to take care

of, theres some rejuvenating R and R in store
for you this month. Fun comes in many
forms, guises, and budget levels, and as long as
you bear that in mind, you should have plenty
of opportunities for lots of it throughout the
month -- so dont skip out on them!
3

Aries
Mar. 21 - Apr. 19
APRIL
a
LOVE
You can expect some frustrations in the

romance department this month. You might
find yourself feeling like youre having trouble
connecting with someone. While this is bound
to be dissatisfying, remember that not
everything is in your control, and this too will
pass.
FINANCE
Good news:
beneficial things await your
pocketbook. If youve been working toward
some sort of payoff, you can expect to start
reaping the rewards this month. And if you
havent, then prepare yourself for a pleasant
4
easing your monetary worries. Be sure to

stay wise and make the most of it.
WELLNESS
Youve been taking pretty good care of
yourself lately, so your good sense of allaround well-being should come as no surprise.
Stay with it and youll continue to feel
generally perky and in tip-top shape healthwise, and its sure to spill over into other
areas of your life too.
RECREATION
Unfortunately, the stars dont show a whole

lot of leisure time in store for you this month.
Despite your best efforts, youll feel like you
can never quite get caught up. This is natural
for Pisces this month. Dont let it get you
down, and hold out for improvements next
month.
73

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
MAY
HEALTH
ROMANCE
You can expect things to be running a little

slow in your love life this month. This is
bound to be a little disheartening, but look for
the silver lining. A little space to yourself
could turn out to be just what you need to
figure out what you really want, and how best
to achieve it.
MONEY
You'll find yourself on a bit of a roll

financially this month. Even if things have
been a little lean lately, you can expect to
catch a break that will go a long way toward
72
monetary surprise! Whether or not youve seen

this bit of success coming your way, you
certainly deserve it, so enjoy it.
This looks to be a breezy month with no

complications for you, health-wise. Of course
the stars can't give you an iron-clad guarantee
that you won't have so much as a sniffle or a
bruise, but indications are that on the whole
you're in good shape, with all systems go.
LEISURE
The success youve had in other areas may

mean you have to give up some of your free
time this month, but dont despair. The
groundwork youre laying now is what will
allow you to kick your feet up and relax once
things settle down a bit. Keeping your nose
to the grindstone this month will pay off
soon.
5

Aries
Mar. 21 - Apr. 19
MAY
a
LOVE
This month you're a romantic force to be dealt

with, and you're loving every delicious minute
of it! You've taken some important steps on
the right course lately, and the groundwork
you've laid will have you ready for the feast
of love that's coming your way. Remember to
use your best judgement, and some incredible
times will be yours.
FINANCE
Youve been enjoying some monetary success,

and the good news is, theres more where it
came from. Things are looking up for you
financially, and as long as you keep making
6
be expected for Pisces at this time of the year,

although that doesnt make it any less
frustrating. Stay focused and keep your wits
about you, and youll be able to hang through
this challenging time.
WELLNESS
If your doctor is the sensitive type, he might
start to worry that you dont like him
anymore -- because he wont be hearing from
you this month! Nothing but good health
awaits you as the weeks pass. Enjoy your
well-being, and use it to your best advantage.
RECREATION
The stars say theres some leisurely fun in

store for you this month. Although youre
busy, youll still find plenty of time to kick
back, relax, and enjoy yourself. Doing so will
give you a renewed perspective, and help
generate some positive ideas.
71

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
APRIL
HEALTH
ROMANCE
Youve definitely grabbed the interest of a

certain special someone lately, and you can
look forward to spending this month enjoying
it to the hilt. In fact, youd almost let it give
you an ego if you were less modest. But
dont let that humility get in the way of all the
pleasure youll be getting from this guy or
girls company.
MONEY
Financially this isnt shaping up to be a

stellar for you, and you might find yourself
having to cut back on a few things. This is to
70
those wise decisions and being smart about

your finances, theres no reason they should
take a downturn.
Things definitely stand a chance of getting a

little bumpy with your physical wellness this
month. Dont be surprised to find yourself
down and out for a bit. But above all, make
sure you dont worsen things by ignoring
them. Taking care of yourself is the key to
recovery.
LEISURE
This looks to be an excellent month for an

exciting little adventure with someone close to
you. You finally have the opportunity to let
your hair down and have some fun, so take
advantage of it. Even if you dont manage a
major excursion, recreation will be a key point
for you this month.
7

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20
MARCH
b
LOVE
Unfortunately, this is a month looks to be a

challenging one for your love life. You've been
feeling more than a little far away (in many
ways), but don't worry, this won't last much
longer. Keep your chin up, and hold out for
when your situation gets better by the end of
next month.
FINANCE
This is one of those months when all your

financial dealings just seem to click into place,
and you come out ahead with hardly any
effort. This doesn't mean you should go on a
8
with a little left over to spare). Stay cautious,

and keep working to insure your good fortune
doesn't turn out to be a fluke.
WELLNESS
There are months when youre feeling great,
the picture of perfect health... and then there
are months like this one. Youll be facing
some difficulties this month, but they dont
have to get the best of you -- especially if
youre smart about taking care of yourself,
and keep a positive attitude.
RECREATION
Whatever other problems may exist, the stars

indicate that leisure will be easy and abundant
for you this month. Plenty of chances for fun
are yours for the taking, so go ahead and take.
Doing so will help you maintain a level head,
and keep you focused and energized for
dealing with other matters.
69

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
MARCH
HEALTH
ROMANCE
Unfortunately, the stars indicate a lull in your

love life this month. Despite your best
efforts, youll probably find it frustratingly
difficult to make the kind of romantic
connection youd like. Remember this too
shall pass, and dont let yourself settle for
something that youll end up regretting later
on.
reckless spending spree, if theres something

youve had your eye on for a while, go ahead
and splurge -- youve earned it.
MONEY
Your finances are treating you pretty well this

month. Projects that you've had in the works
will finally start to show results, and you'll
find yourself solidly in the black (maybe even
68
You can expect to run into some

complications this month.
Nothing too
severe, but serious enough that if you don't
see a doctor, you'll end up wishing you had.
Nipping the problem in the bud is the best
way to make sure it doesn't get worse than it
needs to, so don't procrastinate.
RECREATION
While you could stand to catch up on some

R&R, unfortunately this doesn't look to be a
good month for it.
You're busy being
responsible and taking care of important
things at home or at work, which doesnt
leave much time for fun and games. This is a
good month to keep your eyes on the prize.
9

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20
APRIL
b
LOVE
Romance is in the air for you this month, and

if there's someone you'd especially like to
draw closer to you, the odds are you just
might. Your misgivings will melt away as you
find your very own inner flirt, and your
special friend -- or friend-to-be -- is going to
love it.
FINANCE
Challenges await you in the money

department this month, but don't fret, they
may seem worse than they really are. This
turn of events will be frustrating, but with
some creative thinking, youll be able to keep
10
form of some positive cash flow. Stay smart

about it, and youll continue to reap the
benefits
WELLNESS
Nothing too
LEISURE
Despite any other problems that may crop

up, youll have ample opportunity for
recreation this month. Getting out of the
house and doing something you enjoy is a
great way to clear your head and let you see
things from a new perspective -- and that can
help you out in all aspects of your life.
67

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18
MAY
k
ROMANCE
Unfortunately, you can expect some pot holes

on the road to love this month. While
keeping your eyes peeled will naturally help
you dodge a few of them, you're bound to hit
some of them head on. While this is sure to
be frustrating, remember it's up to you to
change your circumstances if things aren't
going the way you know you deserve.
MONEY
It looks like things are finally starting to go

your way financially this month. The steps
youve taken are yielding some very positive
results, and youll be seeing the payoff in the
66
it from turning disastrous. Stay focused and

think things through before you act.
HEALTH
Unfortunately this looks to be a somewhat
challenging month for you, health-wise. The
stars indicate some problems that aren't lifethreatening, but are more than a mere nuisance
to be ridden out. Paying attention to your
body and making sure you seek the right care
is the surest way to set things right.
RECREATION
Some months are for cutting loose and having

fun, and some months are for laying the
groundwork that will let you cut loose in the
future. This month is one of the latter.
Fortunately, while months like these aren't
very exciting, they don't have to be negative
either. Remember, months like these make the
more adventuresome times possible.
11

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20
MAY
b
LOVE
This has traditionally been a difficult month in

the love lives of most Taurans. Whether it's a
specific setback or a general sense of distance,
you're likely to find yourself lacking a feeling
of real closeness with anyone. Instead of
getting frustrated, use this as a time to reflect
on your real romantic goals and how to
achieve them.
FINANCE
This month you might join the ranks of those

who think money is the root of all evil -- or at
least, the root of all frustrations.
Just
remember that problems can lead to
12
feeling a bit of a pinch because of it. No major

disasters, but you might need to tighten your
belt a notch or two until next month.
WELLNESS
Your medicine cabinet is going to be feeling
neglected this month! Bad for it, but great
for you as you experience a breezy month
free from concerns about your health. That
means youll be able to focus your attention
where its needed -- so get to it!
LEISURE
Unfortunately, you can expect recreation and

free time to come at a high premium this
month. You might find that despite what
youd prefer, you have to be a little bit of a
hermit in order to get things taken care of.
This isnt a crime, and those close to you will
understand.
65

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18
APRIL
HEALTH
ROMANCE
You may find yourself feeling a little bit

solitary and disconnected this month, as
something that seemed sure and comfortable
turns out to be not quite what you expected.
There may be a lesson or two to be learned
from this challenging time, to take a few
moments to reflect on your own needs and
actions.
opportunities, and with good judgement this

could turn out to be a window that let you
effect a much-needed transformation.
MONEY
This is shaping up to be a tricky month for

you financially. Some things that you thought
were in the bank turn out not to be quite as
sure as they seemed, and youll find yourself
64
Some trials await you in the health

department this month. If you don't have a
physician that you see regularly, this would
be a good time to ask around and find one,
because some of these problems aren't the
kind that go away on their own. A positive
attitude will help speed your recovery.
RECREATION
Your lack of free time this month might be

frustrating, and justifiably so, but it's
important not to let yourself get too negative
about it. Enjoy the knowledge that with some
good judgement and responsible decisions,
this challenging time will give way to a more
positive situation by next month's end.
13

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
MARCH
c
LOVE
You've been musing about you and a

particularly outstanding guy or girl, and lucky
you, they're musing right back. So don't be
shy!
Whenever you take charge of the
situation and grab the reins, you're sure to see
some of those dreams transform into
magnificent real life events. By month's end
you'll thank yourself for it (and you won't be
the only one).
FINANCE
Even if things have been a little tight in the

financial department lately, this month you
can expect some good news. The vision
14
perseverance will get you through until things

start to pick up for you again, probably by next
month.
WELLNESS
It looks like youre headed for a rough patch
with your health some time this month, so
take care of your body and do what you can
to minimize it in advance: Once the problem
arrives, dont wait for it to go away on its
own; the longer you wait, the more youll
wish you hadnt.
LEISURE
This month should offer plenty of chances for

you to put your feet up and get in some
recreation and relaxation. Taking some time to
enjoy life with someone close to you will
provide exactly the sort of refreshment
youve been looking for, and help you keep
things in perspective.
63

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18
MARCH
ROMANCE
Your charms have been working overtime

lately, and lucky for you, it hasnt been for
nothing; someone special is taking extra notice
of you. How you take advantage of that is up
to you, but be sure to make the most of it.
You feel like you deserve a little loving care in
your life, and you know what? Youre right!
So enjoy it for all its worth.
MONEY
Aquarians traditionally find this to be a tough

month financially, so you might want to be
prepared to tighten the old belt a little and cut
back on a few things. Your natural
62
you've been pursuing is finally paying off, and

you'll start to see some tangible, positive
results. Stay on top of things, but at the same
time, enjoy your success.
WELLNESS
If you have any health concerns at all this
month, they should be very minor -- a sniffle
here or a bruise there, but nothing more
serious than that. Otherwise, your body is
well-tuned and ready to go, so get out there
and make the most of it.
LEISURE
This looks to be a good month for you to

catch up on some much need R&R, be it near
by or far away. Whatever challenges exist in
your life, you'll have ample opportunity to
set them aside for a little while and enjoy
yourself. Treat yourself to an adventuresome
outing; it will do you tremendous good.
15

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
APRIL
c
LOVE
Wow -- this is absolutely your hunka hunka

burnin' love month! In spite of your busy
life, you'll experience more than a few
excitement-filled moments with a charming
guy or girl. Be sure not to let negativity from
the past get in the way of the opportunities
you have now, and this will be a month worth
remembering.
FINANCE
Make sure the kitchen knives are sharpened,

because you're eating steak this month!
Things are going your way, and you'll likely
find your wallet a little thicker and heavier
16
making any rash decisions. Use your best

judgement, and things should start to smooth
out sometime next month.
HEALTH
Get ready for your close-up, because this
month you could be the poster boy or girl for
good health. No obstacles await your wellbeing in the near future. Furthermore, if you
treat yourself as well as you have been, you
could extend this healthy streak for some time
to come.
RECREATION
Even if you have to get creative with the

financial end of things, youll still find plenty
of ways to get out there and have a little fun
this month. There are lots of leisurely,
entertaining activities that wont break the
bank, and if you look, you wont have any
problem finding them.
61

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19
MAY
WELLNESS
ROMANCE
Whether it's a specific setback or a general

sense of distance, theres a good chance you'll
find yourself lacking a feeling of real closeness
with anyone this month. Use this as a time to
reflect on what you really want out of your
love life, out of a potential romantic partner,
and out of yourself.
than usual. Take this opportunity to plan

your next move, so the advances you've made
can keep on giving.
MONEY
Unfortunately, it looks like you might be

feeling a little pinch in the pocketbook this
month. If you find yourself coming up
shorter than you expected a time or two,
dont panic. Just hold tight, and avoid
60
Your toes will be tapping this month, as any

health physical problems you may have had
give way to a clean bill of health. Thats no
reason to stop being vigilant and taking care of
yourself, but as long as you do the right thing,
your body will continue to be as good to you
as you are to it.
LEISURE
With so many other things working out for

you, your opportunities for recreation will
suffer a little bit this month. But remember,
its a small -- and temporary -- price to pay.
Keep on top of the important stuff this
month, and by the end of next month youll
be able to start relaxing.
17

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
MAY
c
LOVE
This month you'll find yourself passing time

with a guy or girl who makes you feel
beautiful, worthwhile, and mainly marvelous.
So even if circumstances beyond your control
make you testy a time or two, keep that
1,000-watt smile turned on -- you're going to
light some lucky soul's heart on fire with it.
FINANCE
Youll hear the sound of cash registers ringing

this month as you experience a monetary
lucky streak. But luck is only a fairly small
part of the answer -- most of this success is
18
for. Even if its a bit of a tight month, its

important to stay focused and keep your wits
about you.
HEALTH
Things could get a little rocky this month as
far as your health is concerned. It might be a
new development or an old problem creeping
back, but either way youre likely to have at
least a few days of feeling down and out.
Rest and the proper care will make sure its as
few days as possible.
RECREATION
Youll be looking at plenty of chances for

little adventures this month, whether theyre
far away or something quick and close to
home. Remember that vacation doesnt
have to mean costly and time consuming,
and you'll be set for a month full of leisurely
fun.
59

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19
APRIL
WELLNESS
ROMANCE
Its time to saddle up for a for a wild, lovefilled month. The sparks will be flying hot
and heavy between you and someone lucky,
so be careful not to set off the fire alarm and
sprinklers! This is the perfect month to just
go with the flow, and enjoy the easy,
effortless way you connect with your special
friend.
down to your hard work finally beginning to

pay off like youve known it should. Keep up
the good work, and your success will continue
to grow.
MONEY
You know worthwhile efforts are never easy,

but this month financial matters may seem
even more difficult than you had bargained
58
Your health will require more attention than

usual this month. Whether its a new problem
or an old difficulty coming back to haunt you,
youll want to make sure you seek out the
right kind of care. Be vigilant, and dont put
off dealing with the matter.
LEISURE
Keep your eyes open for the opportunities

for excitement in store for you this month,
because there will be lots of them. Even if
you've been busy lately, the groundwork
you've laid will open up the possibility for a
marvelous, fun filled break or two, so enjoy
it!
19

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
MARCH
d
LOVE
Even if your love life has led to some

frustrations lately, these next few weeks will
see your situation getting much, much
warmer. The positive steps you make will
naturally take you (and a very lucky guy or
girl!) to whole new places. You know when
you've got it good, so go out and enjoy
yourself and that special friend.
FINANCE

20
spending foolishly; its always better to be

prepared for the unexpected than to get caught
short.
HEALTH
Unfortunately, this doesnt look to be an
outstanding month for you health-wise.
Nothing too serious, but youre likely to find
yourself feeling more than a little worse for
wear in one way or another, and it might not
be an easy thing to shake. Take the time to
treat yourself well, and youll be rewarded.
RECREATION
You can expect to find yourself pretty well

tied up for most of this month. Important
business beckons, and taking care of it will be
worth sacrificing some of your usual leisure
activities. This may not sound like a whole
lot of fun, but in the end it will prove to be
worth it.
57

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19
MARCH
WELLNESS
ROMANCE
Whether your love life has been warm or cold

lately, the coming month will see things
heating up for you. Youve made some
personal progress lately, and it will pay off
for you and a very lucky guy or girl! You
know when you've got it good, so enjoy
yourself with that special friend.
MONEY
Youre feeling pretty flush this month -enough so that youre able to spread the good
cheer around a little bit. By all means, make
the most of your good fortune, but dont start
56

rewards.
Things could get a little rocky for you on the

health front this month. Not terrible, but
serious enough to require some professional
attention and care -- this isnt the month to
try to sort out the problem yourself (or even
worse, ignore it altogether).
RECREATION
Remember, a vacation doesn't have to be a

long trip to a far away place; a quick
adventure close to home can be just as
refreshing, and you'll have the chance for
plenty of those this month. Bear that in
mind, and you'll be set for a month full of
leisurely fun.
21

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
APRIL
d
LOVE
Get ready for a rambunctious, romance-filled

month! Theres a veritable truckload of
mutual attraction between you and someone
lucky, and its going to set off some major
sparks. Youll both want to mark off some
time in your calendars to make the most of
this love-fest, and by months end, youll be
glad you did.
FINANCE
Any worthwhile effort takes time, but this

month your effort could take longer than usual
to yield a positive result, and leave you with a
frustrating amount of "month left over at the
22
like youve known it should. Keep up the

good work, and your success will continue to
grow.
HEALTH
It might take more than an apple a day to
keep the doctor away this month. Some
health challenges are coming your way at
some point, and they might be nothing to
sneeze at. To keep the disruption as minor as
possible, pay attention to your body and tend
to little problems before they get big.
LEISURE
With all that youve got going on, its no

wonder your opportunities for recreation will
55

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
MAY
ROMANCE
Wow -- this is your hunka hunka burnin' love

month! In spite of your busy life, you'll
experience more than a few excitement-filled
moments with a charming guy or girl. Be sure
not to let negativity from the past get in the
way of the opportunities you have now, and
this will be a month worth remembering.
MONEY
This month youre on a streak that will have

you hearing the sound of cash registers
ringing. But luck is only a fairly small part of
the answer -- most of this success is down to
your hard work finally beginning to pay off
54
end of the money." You might have to tighten

your belt, but keep your wits about you and
you'll avoid any major blunders.
WELLNESS
If you happen to see your doctor this month,
hell commend you for taking good care of
yourself, while secretly grumbling behind
your back for not giving him anything to bill
you for! Keep up the good work and your
health will continue to be on the up-and-up.
RECREATION

23

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
MAY
HEALTH
LOVE
Does Cupids arrow just seem to be missing

your heart this month? If so, dont dwell on
the negative. Instead, take this opportunity
to think about what you really want out of
your love life, and consider what you can do
to make it happen -- and bring this unlucky
streak to an end!

FINANCE
24

LEISURE

53

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
APRIL
ROMANCE
Good news: that special guy or girl youve

been daydreaming about has been dreaming
about you too. So don't be shy! Whenever
you take charge of the situation and grab the
reins, you're sure to see some of those dreams
transform into magnificent real life events. By
month's end you'll thank yourself for it (and
you won't be the only one).
MONEY

52

short.
WELLNESS
Your good sense of all-around well-being
should come as no surprise, since youve been
taking quite good care of yourself lately. Stay
with it and youll continue to feel in tip-top
shape health-wise, and its sure to spill over
into other areas of your life too.
RECREATION

well worth it.
25

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22
MARCH
e
LOVE
If you detect a whiff of something sweet in

the air, its because romance is in full bloom
for you this month. Your charms have been
working, and someone special is really taking
notice of you. You feel like you deserve a
little sweetness in your life, and you know
what? Youre right! So enjoy it for all its
worth.
MONEY
Although youre certainly not greedy, theres

a certain comfort that comes with financial
security. And lucky for you, youve got that
in spades this month. If youve been

can keep on giving.
HEALTH
Youre in for an uneventful month on the
health front -- and we mean that in the best
possible way. Keep taking good care of
yourself like youve been doing, and you
shouldn't have any problem keeping the
doctor away.
LEISURE

marvelous, fun filled break or two, so enjoy it!
51
26

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
MARCH
ROMANCE
Has your romance cup just not been running

over lately? If not, dont dwell on the
negative. Instead, take this opportunity to
think about what you really want out of your
love life, and consider what you can do to
make it happen -- and bring this unlucky
streak to an end!
MONEY

50
having money worries, they'll quickly get

sorted out, leaving you with peace of mind and
a little left over to spend too!
HEALTH
Things could get complicated with your health
this
month.
Not
emergency-room
complicated, but enough to interfere with
other areas of your life in ways you dont
need, unless you take steps to remedy the
situation. Take those steps, and youll keep
the problem down to a minimum.
LEISURE
Youll have some time to kick back and relax

this month, and you should definitely take
advantage of it. Taking a couple days or
nights (or both) to show yourself and
someone close to you a good time will have
just the sort of energizing effect youve been
looking for.
27

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22
APRIL
e
LOVE
A certain someone is showing a good deal of

interest in you lately, and youre loving every
minute of it. In fact, youd almost let it go to
your head if you were less humble. But dont
let that modesty get in the way of all the
enjoyment youll be getting from this guy or
girls company. Youve earned it, so dont be
afraid to make it count.
MONEY
Leos traditionally find this to be a tough

28
could turn out to be a window that lets you

WELLNESS
Dont let your health concerns get you down
any more than necessary. Youll probably
have some complications this month, but the
key to minimizing the damage is early action
and a positive attitude. Keep those in mind,
and youll be able to put this unpleasantness
behind you ASAP.
RECREATION
This looks to be an good month for you to

49

Scorpio
Oct. 24 - Nov. 21
MAY
HEALTH
LOVE
You can expect to run into some obstacles in

the romance department this month. You've
been feeling more than a little far away (in
many ways), but don't worry, this won't last
much longer. Keep your chin up, and hold
out for when your situation gets better by the
end of next month.
MONEY
Dont be surprised if things get a little tricky

on the financial front this month. Just
48

start to pick up for you again, probably by
next month.
If youre looking to play hooky from work or

school this month, youd better be a good
actor, because your health will give you no
excuse!
Unless you count the slight
possibility of a brief sniffle, nothing will
interfere with your wellness.
LEISURE

29

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22
MAY
e
LOVE

actions.
MONEY

30
possibly in an unexpected way.

positive and bide your time.
So stay
WELLNESS
Your health will require some looking after
this month, so be prepared to put the needed
time and effort into taking care of yourself. If
you dont, something that starts as a mere
nuisance could turn into a more serious
problem as the days go by. Dont let that
happen, and youll be back on top before too
long.
RECREATION
This is looking like one of those busy months,

where you the groundwork that will let you
cut loose and have fun in the future. Which
means it probably wont be terribly exciting,
but it doesnt have to be negative either.
Remember, months like these make the more
adventuresome times possible.
47

Scorpio
Oct. 24 - Nov. 21
APRIL
HEALTH
LOVE
This is shaping up to be a romance-filled

month, and if there's someone youve got
your heart set on getting closer to, chances are
you just might. Your hangups will disappear
as you find your very own inner flirt, and a
very special guy or girl is going to be loving
every minute of it.

MONEY
Troubles await your financial dealings this

month, but don't worry, they may not be as
bad as they seem at first. The rough patch
you hit will be a challenging one, but you
might be able to turn it to your benefit,
46
Either you or someone close to you has been

taking good care of you, and your body is
reaping the rewards; youre the picture of
good health all through this month. Keep it
up, but at the same time, use that energy to
deal with things that might need more of your
attention.
LEISURE

understand.
31

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
MARCH
f
LOVE

MONEY

32
all, theres no point in earning it if you cant

enjoy it a little.
WELLNESS
Your health will be more of a concern for you
than youre used to this month. You can
expect an issue that requires attention, even if
it seems like just a minor nuisance at first.
The surest way to let little issues fester into
nasty complications is to ignore them, so take
care of yourself and dont fall into that trap.
RECREATION
With so many different things going on in

your life, leisure time will come at a high
premium this month. Youve got a lot of
irons in the fire, and tending to them all wont
leave you with a lot of time left over for R&R.
So this is a good month to keep your eyes on
the prize.
45

Scorpio
Oct. 24 - Nov. 21
MARCH
HEALTH
LOVE
Some frustrations are in the picture for you in

the romance department this month. Youll
probably find yourself feeling like youre
having trouble connecting with someone.
While this is bound to be dissatisfying,
remember that not everything is in your
control, and this too is temporary.

MONEY
Your financial dealings will really click into

place this month, and with a little effort you
should come out ahead of the game. Dont let it
go to your head, but do go ahead and reward
yourself -- sensibly! -- for your success. After
44
This month you may experience some

setbacks with your well-being that are beyond
your control. Be attuned to what your body
is telling you, and remember its not as
resilient as it was when you were a teenager!
Take steps to right whatever is ailing you,
rather than just letting it go.
RECREATION
You have the means and opportunity to make

your leisure time quite enjoyable this month -and that's enough of a motive all by itself!
Plenty of chances for fun are yours for the
taking, so go ahead and take. By month's end,
you (and the people close to you) will be glad
you did.
33

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
APRIL
WELLNESS
LOVE
Youre feeling a real romantic connection with

someone special this month. Whether its a
hot new flame or an established relationship,
the sparks between the two of you are sure to
be flying fast and furious. Youll be loving
every minute of it, and so will your lucky
partner.
MONEY

34

probably by next month.
No need to worry about your health this

month, as everything seems to be doing
exactly what it should be. Your good habits
have been paying off in the form of a clean bill
of health. As long as you keep them up, you
should continue to reap the rewards.
LEISURE
Although youve got important things to tend

to, theres some rejuvenating recreation in
store for you this month. Fun comes in many
43

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 23
MAY
g
LOVE
You know what you need out of romance, and

lucky you, youve got someone whos happy
to deliver! Thus month will be a bona fide
feast of love for you and the current Mr. or
Ms. Right. Try to keep your head on your
shoulders throughout all this excitement, but
at the same time, you owe it to yourself to
make the most of it.
MONEY

42
dont panic. Just hold tight, and avoid making

any rash decisions. Use your best judgement,
and things should start to smooth out
sometime next month.
HEALTH
Have you been eating your apple a day? It
seems like it, because no worries about your
well-being await you this month.
Pay
attention to your body and keep treating
yourself right, and you should continue to feel
healthy and have plenty of energy for the
important stuff.
RECREATION
Youve got quite a bit on your plate at the

moment, and taking care of some genuinely
important business might have to take
precedence over fun outings this month. Be
prepared to make the most of the little bit of
leisure time you do have.
35

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
MAY
f
LOVE
Things might seem a little slow for you in the

romance department this month. This is
bound to be frustrating, but look for the silver
lining. A little space to yourself could turn
out to be just what you need to figure out
what you really want, and how best to
achieve it.
MONEY
Youll be seeing green this month, and it

wont be because of jealousy! Your financial
situation is looking good, and you should find
yourself feeling pretty flush -- enough to
36

take a downturn.
WELLNESS
little bumpy with your physical health this
recovery.
LEISURE

for you this month.
41

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 23
APRIL
HEALTH
LOVE
Get ready for some amazing sparks to fly this

month. You may even surprise yourself with
the excitement you cause. This is genuinely
one of those times when things just seem to
click into place, and your good feelings rub off
on everyone around you -- most of all, the
lucky guy or girl who gets to reap the
benefits!
spread the wealth around a little bit, if youre

so inclined. Think about how to parlay your
success into something even better.
MONEY

40

RECREATION
The stars dont show a whole lot of leisure

time in store for you this month. Despite
your best efforts, youll feel like you can
never quite get caught up. This is natural for
Virgos this month. Dont let it get you down,
and hold out for improvements next month.

37
Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 23
MARCH
WELLNESS
LOVE
Lucky for you, it seems like theres romance

everywhere you turn this month. Someone is
going out of their way to make you feel
special, beautiful, and all-around fabulous -and theyre doing a darn good job of it! Let
them know you appreciate it; a little positive
reinforcement can go a long way!
monetary surprise! Whether or not youve

seen this bit of success coming your way, you
MONEY
Good news: beneficial things await your

38
This looks to be a fairly breezy month with

no complications for you, health-wise. Of
course the stars can't give you an iron-clad
guarantee that you won't have so much as a
sniffle or a bruise, but indications are that on
the whole you're in good shape, with all
systems go.
LEISURE
The good fortune youve had in other areas

may mean you have to give up some of your
free time this month, but dont despair. The
things settle down a bit. Keeping your nose to
the grindstone this month will pay off soon.
39

Begin Summer

Aries
Mar. 21 - Apr. 19
JUNE
a
LOVE

FINANCE

2


HEALTH
LEISURE

3

Aries
Mar. 21 - Apr. 19
JULY
a
LOVE

pass.
FINANCE
Good news:
4

WELLNESS
RECREATION

month.
73

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
AUGUST
HEALTH
ROMANCE

to achieve it.
MONEY

72


LEISURE

soon.
5

Aries
Mar. 21 - Apr. 19
AUGUST
a
LOVE

FINANCE

6

WELLNESS
RECREATION

71

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
JULY
HEALTH
ROMANCE

girls company.
MONEY

70

take a downturn.

recovery.
LEISURE

for you this month.
7

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20
JUNE
b
LOVE

next month.
FINANCE

8

WELLNESS
RECREATION

69

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
JUNE
HEALTH
ROMANCE

on.

MONEY

68

Nothing too
RECREATION

good month for it.
You're busy being
9

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20
JULY
b
LOVE

love it.
FINANCE

10

benefits
WELLNESS
Nothing too
LEISURE

67

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18
AUGUST
ROMANCE

MONEY

66

HEALTH
RECREATION

11

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20
AUGUST
b
LOVE

achieve them.
FINANCE

Just
12

WELLNESS
LEISURE

understand.
65

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18
JULY
HEALTH
ROMANCE

actions.

MONEY

64

RECREATION

13

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
JUNE
c
LOVE

shy!
the only one).
FINANCE

14

month.
WELLNESS
wish you hadnt.
LEISURE

63

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18
JUNE
k
ROMANCE

MONEY

62

WELLNESS
LEISURE

15

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
JULY
c
LOVE

remembering.
FINANCE

16

HEALTH
to come.
RECREATION

61

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19
AUGUST
WELLNESS
ROMANCE


can keep on giving.
MONEY

60

as you are to it.
LEISURE

17

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
AUGUST
c
LOVE

FINANCE

18

about you.
HEALTH
RECREATION

fun.
59

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19
JULY
WELLNESS
ROMANCE
friend.

to grow.
MONEY

58

LEISURE

it!
19

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
JUNE
d
LOVE

FINANCE

20

short.
HEALTH
RECREATION

worth it.
57

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19
JUNE
WELLNESS
ROMANCE

MONEY
56

rewards.

RECREATION

leisurely fun.
21

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
JULY
d
LOVE

glad you did.
FINANCE

22

grow.
HEALTH
LEISURE

55

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
AUGUST
ROMANCE

MONEY

54

WELLNESS
RECREATION

23

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
AUGUST
HEALTH
LOVE

streak to an end!

FINANCE
24

LEISURE

53

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
JULY
ROMANCE

MONEY

52

short.
WELLNESS
RECREATION

well worth it.
25

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22
JUNE
e
LOVE

worth.
MONEY


can keep on giving.
HEALTH
doctor away.
LEISURE

51
26

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
JUNE
ROMANCE

streak to an end!
MONEY

50

HEALTH
this
month.
Not
emergency-room
LEISURE

looking for.
27

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22
JULY
e
LOVE

MONEY

28

WELLNESS
behind you ASAP.
RECREATION

49

Scorpio
Oct. 24 - Nov. 21
AUGUST
HEALTH
LOVE

end of next month.
MONEY

48

next month.

excuse!
LEISURE

29

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22
AUGUST
e
LOVE

actions.
MONEY

30

So stay
WELLNESS
long.
RECREATION

47

Scorpio
Oct. 24 - Nov. 21
JULY
HEALTH
LOVE

every minute of it.

MONEY

46

attention.
LEISURE

understand.
31

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
JUNE
f
LOVE

MONEY

32

enjoy it a little.
WELLNESS
RECREATION

the prize.
45

Scorpio
Oct. 24 - Nov. 21
JUNE
HEALTH
LOVE


MONEY

44

RECREATION

you did.
33

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
JULY
WELLNESS
LOVE

partner.
MONEY

34


LEISURE

43

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 23
AUGUST
g
LOVE

MONEY

42

HEALTH
Pay
important stuff.
RECREATION

35

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
AUGUST
f
LOVE

achieve it.
MONEY

36

take a downturn.
WELLNESS
recovery.
LEISURE

for you this month.
41

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 23
JULY
HEALTH
LOVE

benefits!

MONEY

40

RECREATION


37
Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 23
JUNE
WELLNESS
LOVE


MONEY

38

systems go.
LEISURE

39

Begin Fall

Aries
Mar. 21 - Apr. 19
SEPTEMBER
LOVE

FINANCE

2


HEALTH
LEISURE

3

Aries
Mar. 21 - Apr. 19
OCTOBER
a
LOVE

pass.
FINANCE
Good news:
4

WELLNESS
RECREATION

month.
73

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
NOVEMBER
HEALTH
ROMANCE

to achieve it.
MONEY

72


LEISURE

soon.
5

Aries
Mar. 21 - Apr. 19
NOVEMBER
LOVE

FINANCE

6

WELLNESS
RECREATION

71

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
OCTOBER
HEALTH
ROMANCE

girls company.
MONEY

70

take a downturn.

recovery.
LEISURE

for you this month.
7

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20
SEPTEMBER
b
LOVE

next month.
FINANCE

8

WELLNESS
RECREATION

69

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
SEPTEMBER
HEALTH
ROMANCE

on.

MONEY

68

Nothing too
RECREATION

good month for it.
You're busy being
9

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20
OCTOBER
b
LOVE

love it.
FINANCE

10

benefits
WELLNESS
Nothing too
LEISURE

67

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18
NOVEMBER
ROMANCE

MONEY

66

HEALTH
RECREATION

11

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20
NOVEMBER
b
LOVE

achieve them.
FINANCE

Just
12

WELLNESS
LEISURE

understand.
65

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18
OCTOBER
HEALTH
ROMANCE

actions.

MONEY

64

RECREATION

13

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
SEPTEMBER
c
LOVE

shy!
the only one).
FINANCE

14

month.
WELLNESS
wish you hadnt.
LEISURE

63

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18
SEPTEMBER
ROMANCE

MONEY

62

WELLNESS
LEISURE

15

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
OCTOBER
c
LOVE

remembering.
FINANCE

16

HEALTH
to come.
RECREATION

61

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19
NOVEMBER
WELLNESS
ROMANCE


can keep on giving.
MONEY

60

as you are to it.
LEISURE

17

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
NOVEMBER
c
LOVE

FINANCE

18

about you.
HEALTH
RECREATION

fun.
59

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19
OCTOBER
WELLNESS
ROMANCE
friend.

to grow.
MONEY

58

LEISURE

it!
19

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
SEPTEMBER
d
LOVE

FINANCE

20

short.
HEALTH
RECREATION

worth it.
57

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19
SEPTEMBER
WELLNESS
ROMANCE

MONEY
56

rewards.

RECREATION

leisurely fun.
21

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
OCTOBER
d
LOVE

glad you did.
FINANCE

22

grow.
HEALTH
LEISURE

55

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
NOVEMBER
ROMANCE

MONEY

54

WELLNESS
RECREATION

23

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
NOVEMBER
HEALTH
LOVE

streak to an end!

FINANCE
24

LEISURE

53

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
OCTOBER
ROMANCE

MONEY

52

short.
WELLNESS
RECREATION

well worth it.
25

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22
SEPTEMBER
e
LOVE

worth.
MONEY


can keep on giving.
HEALTH
doctor away.
LEISURE

51
26

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
SEPTEMBER
ROMANCE

streak to an end!
MONEY

50

HEALTH
this
month.
Not
emergency-room
LEISURE

looking for.
27

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22
OCTOBER
e
LOVE

MONEY

28

WELLNESS
behind you ASAP.
RECREATION

49

Scorpio
Oct. 24 - Nov. 21
NOVEMBER
HEALTH
LOVE

end of next month.
MONEY

48

next month.

excuse!
LEISURE

29

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22
NOVEMBER
e
LOVE

actions.
MONEY

30

So stay
WELLNESS
long.
RECREATION

47

Scorpio
Oct. 24 - Nov. 21
OCTOBER
HEALTH
LOVE

every minute of it.

MONEY

46

attention.
LEISURE

understand.
31

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
SEPTEMBER
f
LOVE

MONEY

32

enjoy it a little.
WELLNESS
RECREATION

the prize.
45

Scorpio
Oct. 24 - Nov. 21
SEPTEMBER
HEALTH
LOVE


MONEY

44

RECREATION

you did.
33

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
OCTOBER
WELLNESS
LOVE

partner.
MONEY

34


LEISURE

43

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 23
NOVEMBER
g
LOVE

MONEY

42

HEALTH
Pay
important stuff.
RECREATION

35

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
NOVEMBER
f
LOVE

achieve it.
MONEY

36

take a downturn.
WELLNESS
recovery.
LEISURE

for you this month.
41

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 23
OCTOBER
HEALTH
LOVE

benefits!

MONEY

40

RECREATION


37
Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 23
SEPTEMBER
WELLNESS
LOVE


MONEY

38

systems go.
LEISURE

39

Begin Winter

Aries
Mar. 21 - Apr. 19
DECEMBER
a
LOVE

FINANCE

2


HEALTH
LEISURE

3

Aries
Mar. 21 - Apr. 19
JANUARY
a
LOVE

pass.
FINANCE
Good news:
4

WELLNESS
RECREATION

month.
73

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
FEBRUARY
HEALTH
ROMANCE

to achieve it.
MONEY

72


LEISURE

soon.
5

Aries
Mar. 21 - Apr. 19
FEBRUARY
LOVE

FINANCE

6

WELLNESS
RECREATION

71

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
JANUARY
HEALTH
ROMANCE

girls company.
MONEY

70

take a downturn.

recovery.
LEISURE

for you this month.
7

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20
DECEMBER
b
LOVE

next month.
FINANCE

8

WELLNESS
RECREATION

69

Pisces
Feb. 19 - March 20
DECEMBER
HEALTH
ROMANCE

on.

MONEY

68

Nothing too
RECREATION

good month for it.
You're busy being
9

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20
JANUARY
b
LOVE

love it.
FINANCE

10

benefits
WELLNESS
Nothing too
LEISURE

67

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18
FEBRUARY
ROMANCE

MONEY

66

HEALTH
RECREATION

11

Taurus
Apr. 20 - May 20
FEBRUARY
b
LOVE

achieve them.
FINANCE

Just
12

WELLNESS
LEISURE

understand.
65

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18
JANUARY
HEALTH
ROMANCE

actions.

MONEY

64

RECREATION

13

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
DECEMBER
c
LOVE

shy!
the only one).
FINANCE

14

month.
WELLNESS
wish you hadnt.
LEISURE

63

Aquarius
Jan. 20 - Feb. 18
DECEMBER
ROMANCE

MONEY

62

WELLNESS
LEISURE

15

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
JANUARY
c
LOVE

remembering.
FINANCE

16

HEALTH
to come.
RECREATION

61

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19
FEBRUARY
WELLNESS
ROMANCE


can keep on giving.
MONEY

60

as you are to it.
LEISURE

17

Gemini
May 21 - June 21
FEBRUARY
c
LOVE

FINANCE

18

about you.
HEALTH
RECREATION

fun.
59

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19
JANUARY
WELLNESS
ROMANCE
friend.

to grow.
MONEY

58

LEISURE

it!
19

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
DECEMBER
d
LOVE

FINANCE

20

short.
HEALTH
RECREATION

worth it.
57

Capricorn
Dec. 22 - Jan. 19
DECEMBER
WELLNESS
ROMANCE

MONEY
56

rewards.

RECREATION

leisurely fun.
21

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
JANUARY
d
LOVE

glad you did.
FINANCE

22

grow.
HEALTH
LEISURE

55

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
FEBRUARY
ROMANCE

MONEY

54

WELLNESS
RECREATION

23

Cancer
June 22 - July 22
FEBRUARY
HEALTH
LOVE

streak to an end!

FINANCE
24

LEISURE

53

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
JANUARY
ROMANCE

MONEY

52

short.
WELLNESS
RECREATION

well worth it.
25

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22
DECEMBER
e
LOVE

worth.
MONEY


can keep on giving.
HEALTH
doctor away.
LEISURE

51
26

Sagittarius
Nov. 22 - Dec. 21
DECEMBER
ROMANCE

streak to an end!
MONEY

50

HEALTH
this
month.
Not
emergency-room
LEISURE

looking for.
27

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22
JANUARY
e
LOVE

MONEY

28

WELLNESS
behind you ASAP.
RECREATION

49

Scorpio
Oct. 24 - Nov. 21
FEBRUARY
HEALTH
LOVE

end of next month.
MONEY

48

next month.

excuse!
LEISURE

29

Leo
July 23 - Aug. 22
FEBRUARY
e
LOVE

actions.
MONEY

30

So stay
WELLNESS
long.
RECREATION

47

Scorpio
Oct. 24 - Nov. 21
JANUARY
HEALTH
LOVE

every minute of it.

MONEY

46

attention.
LEISURE

understand.
31

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
DECEMBER
f
LOVE

MONEY

32

enjoy it a little.
WELLNESS
RECREATION

the prize.
45

Scorpio
Oct. 24 - Nov. 21
DECEMBER
HEALTH
LOVE


MONEY

44

RECREATION

you did.
33

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
JANUARY
WELLNESS
LOVE

partner.
MONEY

34


LEISURE

43

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 23
FEBRUARY
g
LOVE

MONEY

42

HEALTH
Pay
important stuff.
RECREATION

35

Virgo
Aug. 23 - Sept. 22
FEBRUARY
f
LOVE

achieve it.
MONEY

36

take a downturn.
WELLNESS
recovery.
LEISURE

for you this month.
41

Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 23
JANUARY
HEALTH
LOVE

benefits!

MONEY

40

RECREATION


37
Libra
Sept. 23 - Oct. 23
DECEMBER
WELLNESS
LOVE


MONEY

38

systems go.
LEISURE

39


Joshua Quinn - Ascension

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Copyright 2006 by Joshua Quinn. All rights reserved.

categories she's looking at. I'll discuss various

on a crib sheet. Youll probably want to save space by

certain letter, and it will tell you about the Love/Romance

so Wellness is good; and S is late, so Recreation is bad.

First months (March, June, September, December):

Second months (January, April, July, October):

Third months (February, May, August, November):

LEARNING DETAILS ABOUT THE PARTICIPANT

intuitive insight, along with being a wretched performer

By putting these pieces together, you can start to form a

get not just a yes, but hopefully a spontaneous, gushing

individually and break

some people insist on calling health 'wellness' these days."

affected by miniscule fluctuations in the position of our

that will become the score sheet. This serves a couple of

Doing it this way also has the advantage that if someone

Note that my back is turned to the participant during the

intelligent and analytical spectator could easily think, "I'm

THE BUILT-IN CRIB SHEET

As you can see, the crib is disguised as a simple chart to

anyone question them.)

pointed out that if you initially displayed two magazines

packet won't come cheap). However, be sure to get the

below where the graphics end. This will leave a whole

what were trying to do. In fact, to help you do that, go

Also, a note about the covers: Among the various

Summer Horoscope, etc., available at finer supermarket

CREDITS AND THANKS

Prepared for John Nesbit

Prepared for John Nesbit

Prepared for John Nesbit

Prepared for John Nesbit

Prepared for John Nesbit

Prepared for John Nesbit

As the month gets going, get ready for some

Some months, everything in your financial life

Prepared for John Nesbit

ride out the challenges of this difficult period.

Even though youve got business to take care

Prepared for John Nesbit

You can expect some frustrations in the

easing your monetary worries. Be sure to

Unfortunately, the stars dont show a whole

Prepared for John Nesbit

You can expect things to be running a little

You'll find yourself on a bit of a roll

monetary surprise! Whether or not youve seen

This looks to be a breezy month with no

The success youve had in other areas may

Prepared for John Nesbit

This month you're a romantic force to be dealt

Youve been enjoying some monetary success,

be expected for Pisces at this time of the year,

The stars say theres some leisurely fun in

Prepared for John Nesbit

Youve definitely grabbed the interest of a

Financially this isnt shaping up to be a

those wise decisions and being smart about

Things definitely stand a chance of getting a

This looks to be an excellent month for an

Prepared for John Nesbit

Unfortunately, this is a month looks to be a

This is one of those months when all your