COM 4490 Communication & Love

Spring 2012 ~ CIS 1023

Jennifer Whalen - jrwhalen@mail.usf.edu

Nicholas A. Riggs - nriggs@mail.usf.edu

Class meets: Tuesdays and Thursdays 12:30-1:45

Jens Office: CIS 3067 Office hours: TR 10:40AM-12:30PM or by appointment
Nicholas Office: CIS 3069 Office hours: W 5p-6p or by appointment (Canvas OK); Cell
number: 614-599-0434 (text only)
Course Description:
This course focuses on the conditions, difficulties, joys, and sorrows of loving and being
loved. The renowned psychologist Eric Fromm referred to love as an art. In The Art of
Loving, he observed that the attainment of the capacity to love is a rare achievement in our
society. It demands insight and understanding as well as practice, circumspection,
and concentration. Loving and accepting love from others does not appear to come
naturally though it is a universal aspect of being human. As a result, many people suffer
from an absence of love in their lives.
This course will examine the philosophy, theory, and practice of loving and its connection to
communication. We will try to grasp what people mean when they say Im in love, Ive
fallen in love, Im lovesick and/or Im love-crazed. We will ask, what does love mean?
What does it mean to love someone and/or to be the object of someone elses love? To what
sort of obligations are we called to when we love someone? In what sense is the capacity to
love and be loved associated with communication? Can a person learn to love? If so, what
is involved in such learning? Also, what does it mean not to love?
We will focus on the functions of communication over the course of close and intimate
relationships. What brings people together into a loving relationship in the first place? What
keeps them together over months, years, or decades? Are the things that bring them
together the same things that keep them together? How can we better understand and cope
with the contradictions and conflicts that arise over the course of an intimate, loving
relationship? What makes some love connections work while others fall apart? Although our
main focus will be on communication, we will look at close relationships from historical,
sociological, psychological, and cultural points of view as well, and we will place
considerable emphasis on the emotional and erotic dimensions of loving relationships. The
course seeks to provide both an intellectual and a practical experience for all of us.
At the conclusion of this course, you should know and understand more about the
communicative processes associated with loving and being loved and be able to
communicate more efficaciously in your loving relationships. The course is both personal
and academic insofar as the processes of studying, reading about and observing intimate
relationships cannot be completely disconnected from participating in them.

You bring your own experiences to bear on what you read, think, and observe and what you read,
think, and observe, in turn, will have an effect on your close relationships. While no one is an
expert when it comes to love, together through our discussions and analyses, we will, with any luck, gain
a better understanding of the role love plays in our own lives and the lives of others.
Disclaimer and Warning: This is a course that will make certain demands on you. We
focus on the whole person; that is, not just on your mind but also on your emotions and on
your heart. The course works best when, as a class, we develop a trusting atmosphere, a
community of willing and committed participants willing to share our feelings, thoughts, and
experiences with each other.
The literature we will read and discuss emphasizes for the most part the canonical forms of
heterosexual bonding in American culture. Nevertheless, it is not our intention to promote
any particular form of relationship. We will do our best, to focus on many diverse types of
relationships including, gay, lesbian, interracial, non-monogamous, and co-habiting. In each
case, we will emphasize the communicative dynamics of joint action activities between
people.
These activities occur by necessity in all forms of close relationships regardless of sexual,
gendered, class, or race distinctions. In each case, and across cases, we will ask: What
interactional processes bring people together and what processes pull them apart? How can
we understand the beginnings, middles, and endings of close relationships; and what can we
learn from these about the emotional, passionate, and creative tendencies and possibilities
that make loving relationships extraordinary and elusive?
Course Policies
Classroom Etiquette
It is essential that students in this course are respectful in the classroom. In order to provide
an environment in which students can develop their speaking skills, each individual present
in the classroom must help in developing an atmosphere in which classmates can explore
their work and learn to navigate speaking in a public setting.
Attendance

Attendance is required and will be taken each class period.

You are permitted TWO absences during the semester without penalty. You do not need to
document your absence(s), yet exceeding your allowance of two absences will result in deduction
from the your final grade.

Each absence after the second will result in penalty of a one-letter grade deduction per absence.

If you are anticipating absences throughout the course of the session, it is your responsibility to
immediately report these absences to the instructors via typed documentation. Any absences
related to religious observances or holidays must be submitted to the instructor in written format
by the end of the first week of the course (these absences are excused, according to university
policies).

University excused absences will not count toward your allowed absence, so if you provide
proper documentation (per the instructors discretion), you will not be penalized for excused
absences.

Two tardies equals an absence. Plan accordingly. It is your responsibility to arrive on time this
means that parking does not provide a sufficient excuse for lateness.

Policies on Work

No late work is accepted for this course. Please be prepared to submit and present your work on
time. Plan ahead and work out technology issues in advance.

In the event that you are ill or have an emergency and cannot attend class you must either send
the work with a classmate so it arrives on time (for no academic penalty, assuming you provide a
university-excused note the following class meeting) or you need to find a way to get the work to
one of our mailboxes (located in CIS 3058) or via email within 48 hours of the missed class period
(for half credit, under the instructors discretion).

Computer issues will not be excuses for late work. If you are having issues with your computer
you will need to call the campus help desk at 813-974-1222. There is also free access to
computers through the Marshall Student Center and Library.

All work submitted must follow the Modern Language Association (MLA) guidelines or American
Psychological Association (APA) guidelines.

Do not submit your written work under the door of our offices.

Please be aware that issues with grades need to be discussed within seven days after the due
date. After this time, grades are electronically confirmed with no opportunity for modification.

Please check the university calendar for drop and withdrawal dates. It is your responsibility to see
that you are dropped or withdrawn from the course if that is your choice. Be sure to meet
deadlines. All students on the roll after the withdrawal date will receive final grades. No student is
permitted an academic or medical withdraw without instructor approval.

Assignments (Details and requirements to be discussed later)

Class Participation and Attendance (15%)

Autobiography of Love (20%)

Discussions (20%)

Film Review (20%)

Final Presentation (25%)

Special Needs
If you have special instructions or performance-related needs, please use the formal
accommodation process of the USF Student Disabilities Coordinator, including providing us
with a current Memorandum of Accommodations from the Office of Student Disability
Services. Please notify us within the first week of class of any disabilities you have so we can
facilitate the most appropriate learning environment.
Academic Integrity
This course complies with the policies on academic integrity as listed in the USF
Student Handbook. Please review these policies for information on plagiarism. We
reserve the right to fail you as a result of violating the universitys policies on
plagiarism. Further, please ensure that you are citing each and every idea/source
that is not your own. This is essential, as we do check your sources in your
bibliographies.
Schedule of Weekly Themes
Wk1 - Orientation and Syllabus
Wk2 - What is love?
Wk3 - How do we choose a partner?

Wk4 - Feelings, Listening and Nonverbal Communication

Wk5 - Technology and Media
Wk6 - Sex and Pornography
Wk7 - Sexuality and Gender
Wk8 - Jealousy and Infidelity
Wk9 - Negotiating Cohabitation

Wk10 OFF - Work on Film Analysis

Wk11 - Marriage and Partnership

Wk12 - Family, Friends, & Pets
Wk13 - Breakups and Divorce
Wk14 - Dealing with Death/Presentations
Wk15 - Presentations
Wk16 - Presentations