Becoming a Better Ally

Shona Fitzer

What is an LGBTQ+ Ally?

People who support us who may or may not be a part of our
community.
- The Gender Education Center
Ally: Typically any non-LGBT person who supports and stands up
for the rights of LGBT people, though LGBT people can be allies,
such as a lesbian who is an ally to a transgender person.
-International Spectrum, a University of Michigan organization
Basically just someone who helps and supports an oppressed or
marginalized people

So You Call Yourself an

Ally: 10 Things All Allies
Need to Know by Jamie
Utt
A summary of an article from
everydayfeminism.com

1. Being an Ally is About

Listening
As someone striving to be an ally, the most important
thing we can do is listen to as many voices of those were
allying ourselves with as possible.
You dont need to just parrot one person who is part of a group,
but listening to a diversity of marginalized voices can help you
understand the core of an issue.
One person can pretty much never speak for and entire group,
and it especially hard to speak on behalf of a group youre not a
part of, no matter how good your intentions.

2. Stop Thinking of Ally as a

Noun
Being an ally isnt a status.
Dont use the fact that you identify as an ally as an excuse for saying
something offensive!
Example: I recently saw an acquaintance post a pretty problematic
joke I reached out to explain why I took issue with her joke.
Her response: "Jamie, you know that Im an LGBT ally! I speak out for
Gay rights all the time! This was clearly just a joke.
The identification ofallywas so prominent in this persons mind
that she couldnt even hear criticism of how her actions were out
of alignment with her professed desire to be anally!

3.Ally is Not a Self-Proclaimed

Identity
We cannot simplydecidewe are allies.
Being in solidarity is something we can strive for, but in
the end, it is the choice of those we are attempting to ally
ourselves to as to whether they trust us enough to call us
an ally.
One person may see you as an ally, but that does not mean
everyone of that group does or should.
Acting as an ally once does not mean your future actions are in
alliance

4.Allies Dont Take Breaks

Oppressed people dont get to take breaks from being
marginalized
And its honestly really difficult!
But you are most needed when you are the one with
privilege.
And the most hurtful when an oppressed group is being
attacked and you retreat into your privilege

5.Allies Educate Themselves

Constantly
If we want to speak for a marginalized or oppressed
people, we need to know what they deal with.
One of the most important types of education is
listening, but there are also lots of other resources
(books, social media)
Take responsibility and educate yourself before you need
to speak on behalf of a group, but also listen to their
feedback and experiences when the time comes.

6.You Cant Be an Ally in

Isolation
At a surface level, you can support the cause and advocate in your

community for equal rights or speak out against oppression, but you lack
accountability when you do this.
Allyship cannot exist in isolation.
And the more people you are allied to, the more accountable (and
representative) you are.
Listen to people you do not know personally.
But without a diverse community to engage with and without other activists
to hold you accountable, your understanding ofsolidaritycan very quickly
become paternalism or, worse, outright recreation of oppression.

7.Allies Dont Need to Be in the

Spotlight
True solidarity means supporting the work of those
youre allying yourself to, not solely creating a platform
for your own voice and work.
Your privilege can make you very helpful, butwhenever
possible, allies need to use their privilege to let the
oppressed voices be heard.
Taking the spotlight away from the group you are allied
to is exactly the opposite of what an ally is supposed to do.

8.Allies Focus on Those Who

Share Their Identity
(Arguably,) your greatest power as an ally is being the link
between the people who share your privilege and those
who dont.
This is your responsibility.

9.When Criticized or Called Out, Allies Listen,

Apologize, Act Accountably, and Act Differently
Going Forward
If you choose to do social justice work, you are going to screw up a
lot. Be prepared for that. And when you screw up, be prepared to
listen to those who you hurt, apologize with honesty and integrity,
work hard to be accountable to them, and make sure you act
differently going forward. the authors professor
When you mess up, listening apologizing earnestly (and)
working hard to make sure you are accountable to those youve
wronged is important, but its not enough.
You have a responsibility to learn from the mistakes youve made
and to do better going forward.

10. Allies Never Monopolize the

Emotional Energy
It is a common mistake: dont expect those you ally yourself with
to come right back at you with the same energy you had toward
their cause.
Allies deserve emotional support, but the people you ally
yourself with do not owe you their emotional when you mess up
Dont expect marginalized people to do the emotional work for
you or feel sorry for you or forgive you.
Figure out the problem, apologize, improve your knowledge and
try again.

 Solidarity is vitally important to any movement toward

social justice, but it also runs the tremendous risk of
recreating the very power structures of oppression that it
purports to challenge.