By

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the brink magazine

Ry
an

w i n t e r 2 01 5-16

as
on

A country music songwriter once penned the words to a sad song that he titled, Stop the
World and Let Me Off. Most of us have sung those lyrics to ourselves, or at least identified
with them, at one time or another. Sometimes it is the pain of a broken relationship, a tragic loss
of a loved one, or just the unrelenting pressure of lifes demands. Anxiety comes quickly as we
desperately try to please those around us or agree to commitments we cannot keep.
We are not immune from these feelings. Despair is sometimes brought on because we live in a
fallen world where evil exists; other times its a product of our own design. It is healthy to grieve
tragedy and to be disappointed with our own poor choices. It is not healthy when disappointment progresses into depression and we begin to question our own worth. Feelings that are
normal turn tragic when they lead to thoughts of suicide.
The United States records 41,000 suicides per year. That amounts to one suicide every 13 minutes. The implications are far reaching since there is no narrowly defined demographic affected
by this act. Think about it this way: the people who commit suicide come from all walks of life
so all types of people are affected. Families across all educational backgrounds and economic
statuses feel the pain when a loved one chooses to commit suicide. A wise old sage once
remarked that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problem that leaves family members
broken-hearted.

How to Cope
With the Loss of
Someone to Suicide
There is no quick-fix solution that will take
away the pain associated with the loss of
someone to suicide. It hurts deeply because
we care deeply for the person. Thankfully,
Christians have a hope that goes beyond this
world. First Corinthians 15:54-57 tells us
that death has been swallowed up in victory.
Death has no sting because Jesus Christ has
conquered sin and death.
We have victory in Jesus and the assurance
that He is more than enough. He is more
than enough to provide comfort, grace,
and peace in tragic situations. We can run
to Jesus as the One who understands our
lament. The answer to Why? may never
come, but we belong to a loving Father who
desires to heal our pain. Our cry of Abba
never goes unheard (Galatians 4:6; Romans
8:15).

We immerse ourselves in the Saviors love

and reflect on His sacrifice, especially in
troubled times. Here are seven principles to
help you find comfort when dealing with the
loss of a loved one to suicide:
1. Admit that it hurts.
2. Allow yourself to grieve.
3. Avoid blaming yourself.
4. Pray, Pray, Pray
(1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).
5. Read the Gospels and
Pauls epistles.
6. Go to church even
if you do not feel
like it.
7. Run to Jesus. He
will sustain you.

Suicide
is derived from the
Latin word suicidium,
meaning killing
of oneself.

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There is
healing in
just having a
friend close
by to help
carry the
burden.

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How to Minister
to Those Who Have
Lost Someone to
Suicide

The Theological
Framework for
Handling the
Concept of Suicide

The ministry of presence is sometimes

the best attempt we can make to provide
comfort to someone that is hurting. There
is healing in just having a friend close by to
help carry the burden.

There are many opinions about how to

compassionately help those affected by
suicide. The Christian is only concerned
with how God views suicide and seeks to
become a dispenser of grace and love to
the hurting.

The apostle Paul instructed us to bear one

anothers burdens (Galatians 6:2). People
who have been suddenly impacted by a
tragic loss are not looking for more information. Their deepest need is not a sermon,
poetic sentiments, or well-intentioned
advice. They are comforted most by believers who come in Christlike humility to be
present during a difficult time.
The widow of a pastor who committed
suicide said, It was a moment that life
doesnt prepare you for. I had to call my
kids . . . How do you tell your kids that their
dad is gone and that he took his own life?
The indescribable pain often seems to
reverberate with every hollow word that
family members speak to give voice to the
tragedy. Here are a few thoughts on how
to help carry the burden of a friend who is
walking through a sudden loss:
1. Be present without trying to fix the
situation.
2. Avoid trite statements like, I know
how you must feel or, The Bible
says not to worry.
3. Recognize that grief is individualis tic.
People will cycle through a range of
emotions during the grieving process.
4. Gently recommend a local grief
support group.
5. Pray specifically for the family
member.
6. Ask God to show you ways to share
His love with the person.

God created mankind in His image. That

means we have intrinsic value in addition to
other notable qualities like rational thought
and free will. Our Creator, the giver of life,
is the only one who has the authority to
take away life (Job 1:21).
Suicide is the killing of oneself, which
the Bible condemns as murder. In this
case, it is self-murder. It is declaring we
are better qualified than God to determine
the length of our days and the best way to
resolve our present circumstances. It is to
state that a situation is so hopeless that
God is either unable or unwilling to help.
Instead, we should learn to trust the length
of our life to God and accept our present
circumstances such as they are. We must
learn to agree with the psalmist and trust
that our time is in Gods hands (Psalm
31:15).
Pain is real but so is hope. There are
many examples in Scripture of people
approaching the brink of despair, yet they
did not give up all hope. Solomon asserted
that everything is meaningless and that
he hated life (Ecclesiastes 1:2; 2:17). It is
not until much later in his writings that we
learn he persevered and came to realize the
duty of all mankind is to fear God and keep
His commandments (Ecclesiastes 12:13).
Elijah decided at one point that he would
rather die than continue living. He begged
God to end his life but he did not take any

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Blessed
is the
man who
trusts in
the LORD . . .
he is like a
tree planted
by water
(Jeremiah 17:7-8).

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further action as his depression lingered (1 Kings 19:4). We quickly learn that God
had a better plan for his life and sent an angel to minister to Elijah (1 Kings 19:5).
He did not give up and God gave him a renewed purpose!

If you are having thoughts

of harming yourself,
please call the

Life with God is always characterized by hope. Zelda Williams, the daughter of the
late actor Robin Williams, pleaded with those battling depression to hold on to
the possibility of hope. The Christian message says to hold on to the certainty
of hope that we have in Jesus. Hebrews 6:18-19 tells us we can have great confidence in God as we hold to the hope before us. That hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls.

National
Suicide
Prevention
Lifeline

Sometimes the question gets posed this way: Is suicide a sin? The short answer is unequivocally, Yes! No person has the authority to take a lifenot even
his or her own. That belongs to God alone.

for help:

1 (800) 273-8255

However, suicide is not the unpardonable sin. The act of suicide does not alter the
eternal destiny of the person because salvation is based on our response to Gods
promises (John 10:27-29). That does not change the fact that those who commit
suicide leave a shattered mess for their friends and family to walk through. The
painful impact left by suicide is long lasting on those left behind.

24 hours, 7 days a week

or visit

thehopeline.com

The pain that is experienced in this life is real and depression can take us to a dark
place, but there is a way out with Christ. There is always the
hope of a brighter tomorrow even if we cannot see it in the
moment. The apostle Paul knew this to be true when he wrote
that he would boast all the more gladly in his weaknesses so
f o r YOUR E m o t i o n a l H u r t s
the power of Christ would rest on him. The Lord did not promEdward E. Moody, Jr., Ph.D.
ise to remove every obstacle and difficult situation. Instead, the
Lord assured Paul that His grace is sufficient for us, and His
power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

FIRST AID

es
epr

sion

We must trust our heavenly Father with our lives. He has promised to guide us and to use everything that happens in our lives
to make us a little more like His Son. Jesus willingly laid down
His life to demonstrate Gods love for us (Romans 5:8). He
paid the ultimate price so we no longer have to fear sin, evil,
and death. His death brought us life and the certainty of hope
so we can truly live. Our lives are made new in Jesus so we no
longer live for ourselves but for Him who purchased us by His
blood (2 Corinthians 5:14-15).
Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. You are not your own,
for you were bought with a price (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

+ + DEPRESSION

If you are looking for resources about

this topic, please check out
Dr. Edward E. Moody, Jr.s book series
First Aid For Your Emotional Hurts.

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