Happy St. Patrick's Day March 17 jarch 27 rN Colne} What To Do This Month Definitely Not The News The Rainy Day Page Page 4 - Scary travel tales! Page 5 - Men will be men! Useful Telephone Numbers | age 10 - The luck othe Irish! Classified Ads Page 13 - A not so sharp shooter! And Lots More Fun Stuff! | Page 14 - Even more luck o’ the Irish! Heppy 4 National Potate. Chip Det ‘COSTAMBAR Venny’s Market Catamaran Beach Bar El Carey Costambar Library Pedro's Bar & Restaurant Sam's @ Loase Resort Las Rocas El Portal PUERTO PLATA Big Lee’s Beach Bor Tropical Bar Supermercado lose Luis gress) RUSA Money Exchange Meeting Place LAS ROCAS Los Tres Cocos ‘COFRESI (Ocean Werld Marina ExtraterrestrialCostambar Monthly page 2 da Wee om le) a Los Tres Cocos in Las Rocas invites you to try _alll the time - pass by and check them out! And something different. Call 809-993-4503 for relax in comfy new lounge furniture! Over 30 details. Fine dining at it’s best! different types of beer for you to try! Try their Flemish Beef Stew made with Belgian beer!!! At The Catamaran on Costambar Beach you'll find great food at great prices enjoyed with a Sam’s Bar & Grill at Loase Resort invites you to million dollar view! Enjoy a relaxing breakfast on stop by for Leslie’s great food - fish & chips, the beach. Every day they have Power Hour with fajitas, curry & more! 3X1 cuba libres from 6-7pm. Their food never disappoints! WIFI ZONE!!! The Jolly Lobster The Meeting Place has lots of events for March. Seafood Lounge is available for dining until March 8rd is the film THE 33. March 15th isa 9:30pm with reservations only. Please reserve by presentation on the health of the oceans. March 6pm! 22 isa talk on Energy Generation & Distribution in the DR. And March 29th is a discussion on Big Lee’s Beach Bar on the Malecon has sexuality, teenage pregnancy and STDs in the fantastic food at affordable prices! Amazing Fish DR. All events start at 3pm. & Chips, big juicy burgers and yummy sandwiches. Kitchen now open 9:30am to Restaurant Cenica (formerly El Portal) has 11:00pm. Live Music every Friday from 4pm- Karaoke with DJ Marilyne on Saturday March Sth 7pm! March 4th & 18th is Ken & Monalissa and —_& 19th from 8pm to 2am!! Typical Dominican on March 11th & 25th is Denver! Karaoke from food at good prices - Plate of the Day for 8pm to midnight on March 12th & 26th! RD$125!! Kevin & Patricia invite you to El Carey Las Rocas by Klaus has Easter Brunch on Sunday Restaurant - where you can enjoy the beach —-March 27 starting at 11am. Reservations only. your way! Every day 2 cuba/santo libres for RD$100 from 5-7pm. The best burger in town, Har |_Camive Splendor | SamSpm , t Mar3| Niewy Amsterdam | am-Som Kevin's homemade Mamajuana and fresh made — aM ere] apts eerie Pina Coladas! Try their new Chicken Sandwich or *[ nara | Comival reese [2em-pm Salted Fried Pork Meat! {TE War it |_CambalValor_[ m-4pm Pedro’s Bar & Restaurant has a full menu a aa ate ae including Pedro’s Famous Cordon Bleu. Fridays mara | Tomales 4-6pm they have cocktail specials. WIFI Zone! War 22 | Carnival Splendor | Bam-Spm Mar 30 Caria Conquest [senso Tropical Bar on the Malecon has over 20 types of Mar 31 | New Amsterdam [Sam-Som Belgian beer and 8 sports channels! They serve a variety of food and tapas and every Friday have karaoke - including Dutch songs! Wednesdays get 3 crepes for RDS100 with real Belgian sugar & SAY YOU SAW IT IN syrup. Daiquiris on special every Thursday - buy tT hal 2 get the 3rd one free! Fresh new meal specials At watCostambar Monthly page 3 SAG a AISLEIN-THEIR UNDERWEAR Te nay |e aN , THE JOLLY LOBSTER WISHES PAUL A HAPPY NEW YEAR! ie a TUM RT TC IN TARGET.” SOMETIMES YOU RUN INTO PEOPLE WHO CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOR THE BETTER... THESE PEOPLE ARE CALLED BARTENDERS! ao WE HAVE SERIOUS BUYERS COSTAMBAR Real Estate _ !NQUIRING DAILY ABOUT Specialist for the Amber Coast PROPERTIES IN COSTAMBAR. YOUR PROPERTY COULD BE THEIR CHOICE!! Call 829-898-0607 to list your property www.costambar-realestate.com info@costambar-realestate.com COSTAMBAR Construction _, Call 829-898-0607 Email klaasdomrep@gmail.comCostambar Monthly page 4 Restaurant Zl ‘t Carey om cam Where you can enjay the beach your way! PS TE eed a/Santo Libres for RD$100 ee FRESH MADE PINA ee | y Ma} = ee Jean un The Best in Town! AVAILABLE FOR APPTYPES OF EVENTS! ae et Senter eve ae Saat Gotomir ar le, Los Tres Geos RESTAURANT INTERNATIONAL GOURMET CUISINE & AUSTRIAN SPECIALTIES. TeL{609) 970-7627 (Co 605 993-4503, Las Rocas Coftes, Mares Cerrado DON'T BE THIS TRAVELLER PARTI (Actual comments from US travel agents) A woman called and asked. "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who?" I said, “No, why do you ask?" ‘She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the aitline, they ut a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm ‘overweight, is there any connection?" ‘After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just, putting a destination tag on her luggage. Thad someone ask for an aisle seat so their hair wouldn't get messed up from being near the window. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?" 1 got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown, I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with Tm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts, * Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa.” Her response?... click. Arman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I ‘asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando, He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. [tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state, He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state.” I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" said, "No" He said, "But they look so close on the map." Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had @ Thour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he ‘wanted to rent a car, he said, "Iheard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time.” Annice lady just called, She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and get into Chicago at 8:33am. tried to explain that CONTINUED ON PAGE 6Costambar Monthly page 5 Lam a Seenager (Senior teenager). Ihave everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don't have to go to & “ Le se Have , Oster’ \) SRSTER BRUNCH BUFET | soo! or work tan fee . allowance every month. [have sreaxuouse | SUN. DAY 27.MARCH my own pad. I don’t have a 9 curfew. Ihave a driver's license and my own car. Ihave ID that gets me into bare and the whisky store, The people I hang around with are not scared of getting ‘pregnant. And I don't have acne, Life is great. PEDROS... BAR & RESTAURANT Closed Sundays RNPUGrptactirg PTDL TLROC CC (ra MA CU pr De ayo 809-970-7786 G) MORE THAN 20 TYPES OF BELGIAN BEER! . 8 SPORTS CHANNELS! VARIETY OF FOOD & Tapas! | A? attractive blonde from Cork Ireland, arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet FLEMISH BEEF STEW! twenty thousand dollars ina single roll ofthe dice, She said, "[hope you don't mind, but I feel much. luckier when I'm completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. MADE WITH BELGIAN BEER!) Finaty, one of them asked, What did she roll?" The . _ other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were TropicalBarPOP tripadvisor’ | watching” MORAL OF THE STORY ON THE MALECON, CASETA #3, PUERTO PLATA | Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, OPEN FROM 12PM. CLOSED TUESDAYS. _. but all men,.are men! vats 2016 ae oy START 11 AM anions gese™ 690.- P.PERSON 4as Rocas by Klaus Costambar Cel 809 866 1614Costambar Monthly page 6 LSTA ANIEETOS | B/G LEE’S Beach Ba (Formerly El Portal - just outside Costambar Gate) Saturday March 5th & 19th ag) ciMntmesndber | INT Twist ola ae! lopen Every Bay at 9am - 3rd caseta from La Sirena —— 8pm until 2am ee ee ae PLATE OF THE DAY ONLY RDS1251!| fea Wa test aU foo) Ht Typical Dominican Food & Drinks \ NS 2 DON’T BE THIS TRAVELLER. PART 2. CONTINUED FROM PAGE 4 ‘Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that! just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How dol know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly Mareh [2th & 26th he meant, which he replied, I wae told my flight number vei 8), Spm-midnight is 823, but none of these dam planes have numbers on anf them" ALWAYS A GREAT TIME! ‘A.woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on ‘one of those computer planes" I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever” A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, [reminded him he needed a visa. “Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double- checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express.” ‘A.woman called to make reservations; "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York” ‘The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said, “Ave you sure that's the name of the town?" “Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching the agent came back with, ‘Tm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a Hippopotamus anywhere." ‘The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Evergone knows ‘where it is, Check your map!" ‘The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" “That's it! [knew it was a big animal, erences,Costambar Monthly page 7 Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way, We cannoli do so much, His legacy will become a pizaa history, Here today, gone tomato. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Sending olive my prayers to the family. His wife is really upset; cheese still not over it. You never sausage a tragic thing. It’s cuch a shame good people have to die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace. Calle Juan Bosch #60, Puerto Plata Info@MeetingPlacePuertoPlata.com — OPEN The Weting Place PUERTO PLATA'S INTERNATIONAL CENTER cruise ships are in port ]www.MeetingPlacePuertoPlata.com 829-455-6110 [TUESDAY, MARCH 8th 3:00 pm: The film club presents THE 33. In 2010, 33 Chilean gold miners were stranded when a rock twice the mass of the Empire State Building trapped them 2,000 fect underground, Through this extraordinary flm, we live with the ners, thei families and their rescuers for 69 days. [TUESDAY, MARCH 15th 3:00 pm: A presentation in video and photos by Bill Passmore on the health ofthe oceans, andthe activities that makes possible. Bil’s mission has been to capture and share the colorful collage of the underwater world. certified PAD! instructor with over 1500 dives, he is working on coral restoration in Sosua TUESDAY, MARCH 22nd 3:00 pm: A presentation by Joheves Garcia on Electricity Generation and Distribution in the Dominican Republic, Reliable Energy has long been an obstacle to development here. New technologies bring new possibilities, in particular solar and wind power. Joheves is an engineer from Puerto Plata tained in Finland. His company, Nortca, maintains many DR power plants | TUESDAY, MARCH 29th 3:00 pm: Or. Bayardo Gomer on the situation in the DR relating to sexuality, birth control, AIDS, and Jvenereal disease, We know that the OR is near the top in teen-age pregnancies in the Americas, but little about its causes and extent and the efforts undertaken to deal with it. Or Gomez is director of [cePROsH (Centro de Promotion y Solidaridad Humana), and an expert on public health, Ar Cael LT} Party Wt say to the rly ates “It’s pasture bedtime.” Guest louse & Recreation Canter Check Out Sam 5 Ca fe ‘samsbardr.com for At Loase tn compete menu & events Like” Sams Bar & Gell |COMIE FOR LESLIE'S GREAT FISH & CHIPS, FAJITAS, CURRY, CHILE AND MORE! tn 1 ( orders 7.209m) junday ‘On Facebook ROOMS FOR RENT ON A DAILY OR WEEKLY BASIS. CALL JOSE 809-837-6845 OR LOASE 809-970-7861 WWW.LOASE.COM. OVERSTAYING YOUR WELCOME! Definitely Not The News Just a reminder as our snowbirds are preparing to leave for the season. These are the current overstay rates. Safe journey home, have a great summer and see you next year! PRORROGA UNICA DE PERMANENCIA (ESTADIA)| CP-PP-01-01 61 DIAS A 90 DIAS 2,500.00 CP-PP-01-02 3 A9 MESES 4,000.00 CP-PP-01-03 9 A 12 MESES 5,000.00 CP-PP-01-04 12 A 18 MESES 6,500.00 CP-PP-01-05 18 A 24 MESES 8,000.00 CP-PP-01-06 24 A 30 MESES 9,500.00 CP-PP-01-07 30 A 36 MESES 11,000.00 CP-PP-01-08 36 A 48 MESES 16,000.00 CP-PP-01-09 48 A 60 MESES 20,000.00 CP-PP-01-10 6 ANOS 30,000.00 CP-PP-01-11 7 ANOS 40,000.00 CP-PP-01-12 8 ANOS 50,000.00 CP-PP-01-13 9 ANOS 60,000.00 CP-PP-01-14 10 ANOS 70,000.00Costambar Monthly page 8 THE RAINY DAY PAGE VALENTINE’S DAY Find and circle all of the words that are hidden in the grid ‘The remaining letters spell a hidden message SOLUTIONS ON PAGE 13 SUDOKU PUZZLES Fill in the missing numbers so every row, column and quadrant contains the number I through 9. SAS Imp-4A>H9MzZCuN—-0- ep Ze-4H-aTO-~-CHT>Y EOvonOQO-4ArMOarAeer vec rear ompronmoOrmny>> t40900 N DUBLIN EVENTS FEAST DAY FESTIVAL GREEN GUINNESS HERITAGE HISTORY HOUDAY AOZz--saMmzrz00znaz~— UGEVE NTYYP YRARP EADAA EETNE ERSO! ONAIT RIESE RAFSC ctTmit SERMB REROH MAEPI TNTVE RIAIR ALOOO UDCNR HOLY DAY IRELAND, IRISH LEPRECHAUN LUMERICK MARCH MISSIONARY music PARADE PATRON SAINT Across 1. Amusing 5. Associate 6. Run 7. Trigonometric NTSP AEPO kKoOT I RHA vest DEIO LNBE KBFS FEUF EFEOD TSGH TYAO ceBL KABY LRAO TLOA NYYY POTATOES SEVENTEENTH SHAMROCK SNAKES SODA BREAD TRADITION YEARLY function, Down 1, Compatibility 2. Physician 3. Dressing 4, SincereCostambar Monthly page 9 Pe Aa tm AY Because rumour, gossip, hearsay and anecdotes are just sooo much more fun! WE SPOKE TOO SOON! As is so often the case in the DR, optimism leads to let down. The work to improve Puerto Plata for the cruise ship tourism yet again came to a halt. And in February, coupled with Carnaval on the Malecon, traversing the city became increasingly frustrating and difficult for many. The compound effects of dug up streets, closed off streets, narrowed streets, new ‘one way streets and the Carnaval infrastructure and crowds on the Malecon often made a trip to Puerto Plata like an impenetrable labyrinth at worst and a maze to be solved at best. As the old saying goes - ‘You can’t get there from here!’ Even walking is not an easier way to navigate the city. There are uneven surfaces, large holes covered only with flimsy and rotting plywood - if they are covered at all, barrels to weave around and piles of dirt and stone to climb or avoid. TAKE CARE AND BE AWARE! In light of the recent tragic shooting and killing of a German tourist on the Malecon, and many other crimes that are not as well publicized, we feel it is a good idea to give everyone a refresher course on safety and street smarts when living or visiting a country like the Domincan Republic. Sometimes it’s hard to believe you have you tell pe; yom people these things but | guess we can all be either unaware of the dangers or have become complacent over the years. Many of these come from living in a large city and living here for a long time. They are second nature for many of us. Don’t wear flashy jewellry, watches or other bling. Don’t flash large amounts of cash - keep small amounts in your pocket or wallet to use publicly and the rest safely tucked away in another pocket or bag. When you need to replenish your usable cash do it somewhere privately, like a restroom or your vehicle. Keep things like cameras and cellphones hidden in pockets or bags and always keep an eye on them when not hidden. It is preferable to carry any bags or purses across your body and not just over your shoulder or in your hand. Shorten the straps if you can to keep them as close to your body as possible. Keep them closed at all times and any exterior pockets toward your body. Men should keep wallets in front pockets if they can. Keep vehicle windows rolled up and doors locked and when not possible at least do this when at a stop or in heavy slow traffic. Never leave an unattended car unlocked. If you must have valuables in your car then keep them out of sight as much as possible. ‘And these days, if you are unsure about going to Puerto Plata, pick a cruise ship day - security is beefed up and highly visible on the days that the cruceristas are here. Thanks to Jack Cameron, Costambar Security advisor, for the heads up on this one! But overall, your first line of defense and the thing that will keep you safest, is being aware and vigilant. Keep your eyes open, be aware of your surrounding and the people in it and how they are behaving. If something feels wrong or unsafe, trust your instincts and remove yourself from the situation. None of this is meant to scare you. Most of you probably use these techniques at home without even being aware of it. A few precautions is all it takes to be able to have the safe and carefree vacation or stay you are looking for. TRAVEL COMPANIONS WANTED! BY, And it’s okay if these ones snore or fart! Many of you will soon be departing our fair island and we urge you to consider being a travel companion to a pet that has been adopted in Canada or the "United States. Both pets and owners are anxiously waiting to be united. It’s a _ pretty painless and costs you nothing out of pocket. And you get to bring a new family together! There are lots of organizations who rescue or help animals here on the North Coast. Here in Costambar we have DCDR (Dogs and Cats of the Dominican Republic) and you can contact them to see if you are going where a puppy needs to go. Check out Facebook to contact them or find other groups who are looking to send animals to their new fur-ever homes. What a perfect end to a perfect vacation, righCostambar Monthly page 10 tHAM Thank You to all artists, crafters, and visitors who made the 5th Annual Arts & Crafts Show a great success. Special thanks to Thelma and Diane who donated the beautiful quilt for raffle. The winner of the quilt was Andy Broersma. Thanks also to Costambar Monthly News for the free promotion. Watch for us next year!! Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered... Meme ele shoelaces for you?” MARCH 5 PARASITE CLINIC >On O¥E OLD EL PORTAL [pi (LUZ MARIA'S) 4 aa Powe ul] FOSTER & FOREVER HOMES, DONATIONS ST tL by ALWAYS NEEDED AND WELCOMED! HOW VERY VERY PUNNY! 1. What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs. 2, Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink. 3. What's the difference between roast beef and ea soup? Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pee soup. 4, What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. 5S. What's the difference between a cat anda complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause. 6. How can you get four suits for a dollar? Buy a deck of cards. 7. [never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there. &. Money doesn’t grow on trees, right? So why does every bank have so many branches? 9. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police better be on the lookout for two hardened criminals. 10, How do fish get high? Seaweed. 11, What do computers snack on? Microchips. 12, Did you hear about the guy who broke both his left arm and left leg? He's all right now. 13. What's the tallest building in the world? The library, cause it has the most stories. 14. How do trees get online? They log in. 15. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Everything's fine now. He woke up. 16. People wonder why I call my toilet “the Jim” instead of “the John.” I do it so I can say “I go to. the Jim first thing every morning” 17. Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field. 18. What car does Jesus drive? A Christler. 19. What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck? “You can stay. Just don’t try to start anything” 20. Why can't you trust an atom? They make up everything. YOU CALL THEM SWEAR WORDS; I CALL THEM SENTENCE ENHANCERS!Costambar Monthly page 11 Health Insurance Available Through “International Residents Club” RD$1820 Includes Dental RD$2170 with Drugs FOR DETAILED INFO OR TO PAY Tuesday March 1 & April 5 Barcos, Malecon, Puerto Plata 5pm Pedro’s Bar, Costambar 6:30pm Or call Petra & Marcel Bahr 809-904-8535/809-543-2155 Professional MASSAGE 4 Therapeutic massage 4 Sport massage + Deep tissue 4 Trigger point massage + Lymph massage’ drainage + Relax massage NOW OFFERING LASER THERAPY! Home And Hotel Visits Tel: 829 549 9516 Email: plokkie@hotm: A young cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night recognized an elderly man standing at the bar ‘who, in his day, had been the fastest gun in the West. ‘The cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him of his great ambition to be a great shot.. ‘Could you give me some tips?’ he asked. ‘The old man said, ‘Well, for one thing, you're wearing ‘your gun too high - tie the holster a little lower down ‘on your leg" "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" "Sure will’ ‘The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player. "That's terrific!’ said the cowboy. ‘Got any more tips?” "Yep; said the old man. ‘Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it - that'll give you a smoother draw! "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man. "You bet it will’ said the old-timer. ‘The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano player. "Wow! exclaimed the cowboy I'm learnin’ somethin’ here, Got any more tips?” ‘The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon, 'See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it’ ‘The young man smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun, "No,' said the old-timer, I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all.’ ‘Will that make me a better gunfighter?’ asked the young man.. "No; said the old-timer, 'but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up ‘your arse, and it won't hurt nearly as much.’ Expatriate Medicine Stephen J. Motyka, M.D. Concierge Medicine 829-748-3811 expatriatemedicine@aol.com www.expatriatemedicine.comCostambar Monthly page 12 Jennys Supermarket OF) OTN TET TOMES) Mon-Sat/8am=10pm) Sundays 8am-8pm 809-970-3028 QUALITY DOMINICAN _ CIGARS!! ||$2 suy pirect AT FACTORY PRICES! DELIVERED TO YOUR HOTEL CALL THE CIGAR MAN 1-809-449-1819 After my recent prostate exam at the hospital, which was one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had, the Doctor left Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his and the nurse came in, oie As she shut the door, she asked me a question "yoy come to the front door of the apartments. I I didn't want to hear... am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the She said..."Who Was That guy? front door. With your elbow, push button 301.1 will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your By elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?" KRATAOG TOOL CALL) “anima thee sounds easy bt why am hitting 7 ‘Yj all these buttons with my elbow? ...... For / Sf ite | *What........ You're coming empty handed?" With Animation in Various Languages; Large screen, Plasma screen & Light 809-204-4172 Email dj-marifyne_karaoke_tropical@hotmail.cey DAY EXCURSION SPECIAL just FOR COSTAMBAR MONTHLY READERS i costamaak | |‘ Wonder Woman SAVE UP TO 25% German Nail Stylist BY LAND or BY SEA! Working with {wonder where ltt Jeep Tour Catamaran Tour . on Explore the countryside ‘Swim Aaylic oe Swim in nalaral pool Snorkel Shell. www facebook.com/ ie Linch & drinks indaded Snacks & Drinks included JustNailetrina [wonder where my 829-727-6845 ira 909-449-1819 costambarmonthly@gmail.com [Only available to Costambar visitors and their guests|Costambar Monthly page 13 COSTAMBAR MONTHLY AD RATES The Best Value for your Advertising Peso! NEW RATES EFFECTIVE NOVEMBER 2015) SIZE APPROX. SIZE _PRICE/MONTH FULL PAGE BACK FULL PAGE - INTERIOR R0$3700, R0$2100 RDS1150 ROSESO 1/4 PAGE 1/8 PAGE BUSINESS CARD AD ‘CUSTOM SIZE/SHAPE ADS Contact Us for a Quote Contact Us 809-970-7507/809-449-1820 costambarmonthly@yahoo.ca www.costambarmonthly.com Be SUPPORT OUR ADVERTISERS! I found myself in a pub in Cork. A group of American tourists came in. One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Irish think your great drinkers. I bet 5,000 euros that no-one here can drink 30 pints of Guinness in 30 minutes.” The bar was silent, the American noticed one Irishman leaving, but no-one took up the bet. Forty minutes later the Irishman who left returned and said "Hey Yank, is your wee bet still on?” "Sure" said the American, "30 pints in 30 minutes for a bet of 5,000 Euros.” "Grand" replied the Irishman, "so pour the pints and start the clock” It was very close but the last drop was concumed with 2 seconds to spare. “OK Yank, pay up." said the Irishman. "Tm happy to pay, here's your money" said the American. "But tell me, when I first offered the wager I aw you leave. Where did you go?" ‘The Irichman replied, "Well sir, 5,000 Euros SAY YOU SAW IT IN ig a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it." OTIS oo ees. ons Ao Ne SOLUTIONS TO PUZZLES ON PAGE 8 RI [s E au 3 AM a PIAIR E|R e Pic iy OP JE TIE Ro Hi: TlalN[G[E|N[T BEGINNER INTERMEDIATE S 37 6]1/4 2/95 [5 8 7|1 2 3]9 6 4 SEESIRE 58 4/679/213|9 23/48 6/157 LENSES NY 91 2|8 3 5|476|1 4 6/9 5 7/3 8 2 691/25 4/387 |8 5 9|23 1/476 SABTEDDENMESSAGE — [o 45|3.6 7/19 2|3 6 2|5 7 4|a 91 LIVE! 237/91 8/5 64|71 4/8 6 9/235 a FiTM CENTURY , [a6 9[5 8 3]72 1271/39 5/648 - - 728/491/635|6 9 8|7 42/513 Cee C&O siissl7 26/8 49/4 3 516 1 8|7 29Costambar Monthly page 14 |CLASSIFIEDS| "APARTMENT FOR RENT (RTMENT FOR RENT Long Term, Unfurnished bedroom in Costambar 2 Bdrm 2 Bath Call 829-727-6845 Irina Pool Big Balcony WANTED IMMEDIATELY! 2.0r3 bedroom apartment, 2 bathrooms, swimming pool call 809-988-1322 FOR SALE Yamaha Vina SOcc Paola, Maroon & Beige. Gringo ‘owned & maintained for 10, years. RD$12,000, can be seen in Costambar. Call Dan 829-935-0048 WANTED Cruise-ship cruise to Europe in April For financial reasons | am looking for someone to share a cabin (twin beds)on this 15-18 night cruise to Europe. Non- snorer, non-farter preferred. Cost about US$700-1000 one way depending on ship Includes accommodation and food. Call 809 449 1819 or email drcigarman@yahoo.com 809-970-7153 FOR SALE Delta Scroll Saw 3,500 pesos, ‘Two Aluminum Windows (Persianas) 18.5 x 40 inches 41,000 pesos each, Skil saw 2,000 pesos, Skil cut off/miter saw 3,500pesos,Two 65 watt Solar Panels 1,350 pesos each, Chainsaw for repair (offers), Car Radio/Cd player (new) 800 pesos, 15 inch LED computer screen 1000 pesos. 4- Trojan red 6 volt inverter batteries 2,500 pesos each, 3 - Rolls AGM 12 volt inverter batteries “one mean battery” '$12-240AGM 6,000 pesos each (for the specialist), Photos on request: ema stanley.bobyk@gmail.com Tel: 809 639 9393 or 809 970 3287 WANTED In working condition, toaster for a reasonable price Call 809-370-7354 HAPPY | EASTER /S > WHAT 2 [Costambar Monthly classified ads are free but can only be placed by emailing costambarmonthly@gmall.com lr calling 809-970-7507 or 809-449-1820 PLEASE NOTE - free classified ads are only for personal items. commercial properties or enterprises (including real estate sales or rentals) must purchase an ad. Classifieds will usually be run for one month only unless we are otherwise notified. Please limit the length of your ads to no more than Japprox. 10 lines!!! i ia a Costambar Community Center & Library ff Open 9am-5pm A small contribution when using the library is much appreciated and necessary to in wes oa ONT Separate English & foreign language book rooms Police Office 809-320-8510 Police Car 809-320-8840 809-970-7877 809-970-7015 809-220-1111 809-261-1844 809-586-9823 809-970-7318 809-586-5761 809-586-4244 809-586-4204 809-586-6995 809-320-7601 809-586-2342 809-586-2519 809-970-7607Costambar Monthly page 15 HAVING RUST PROBLEMS? Rusty Metal Primer fil work on clean steel or rusty steel, galvanized metal, zine. aluminum, tin oF previously painted surfaces. + le a universal paint primer. and a "rust converting paint primer”. = Can overcoat with all different types ‘of paint - no restrictions. + Needs no sanding or degiossing, + Ie a self etching primer that “bices™ into a painted surface, + Isa unique I-step process. CLEAR FIBERGLASS 3 GALLON PROPANE CYLINDER TANK IDEAL FOR BOATS ONLY RD$2300 Tanks & valves are brand new Made in the USA Always know how much gas you get or have left! Lightweight & rustproof! CALL COLIN AT 809-449-1819 THE Next ATTENTION BOATERS! NOW AVAILABLE! Blue Water Antifouling Paint Ablative and hard Also Topside paint and varnish All at U.S. Prices! Call 809-449-1819 or Email drcigarman@yahoo.com For details and orders “MARINE PAINT 1§ IT WRONG TO DROP DRUNKS OFF: AT HOUSES THAT AREN'T THEIRS? Beautiful lot just a couple of minutes from the Star Market in Puerto Plata. 750 square metres, quiet road, nice neighbourhood. Mountain view and harbour views. Spectacular view of the city lights at night. CALL PHOTO MIKE 809-492- 9146Costambar Monthly page 16 PET & MARINE INSURANCE Edward William Insurance Services Edward William was incorporated in 2004 as an insurance agent afering quality pet and marine insurance at competitive premiums. Pet Insurance + Careful owners rewarded with no claims discounts + All pets and breeds considered Marine Insurance + Careful sailors rewarded with no claims discounts * All hull types considered, including Ferto, Steel & Timber dnard William is not led by a computer generated quotation system that says yes, no and how much, they have underwriters wh using the authority granted to them by the insurance company look at each risk on its merit and charge the appropriate premium for the cover required. Edward William has representatives all over the world to offer local advice and assistance wherever you are For no obligation quotation call us or go to our website and complete the online proposal forms. aR ed) ee PS (pyoTaMiaor Mss ello ome- Reco: ecm CME: MTom RTOesld ET ee@rec nets Tt www.edwardwilliaminsurance.com