Statistics

http://www.familyequality.org/get_informed/equality_maps/same_sex_couples_raising_children/

Total State Population:8,001,024

Total Adult Population:6,329,130

Total LGBT Population:183,545

LGBT % of State Adult Population:2.9%

% of Same-Sex Couples Raising Children:16%

VIEW METHODOLOGY/MORE INFORMATION

Virginia's LGBT Policy Tally

Sexual Orientation Policy Tally:2.75/19

Gender Identity Policy Tally:-0.25/15
Overall Tally:2.5/34

Virginia's LGBT Laws and Policies

Marriage and Relationship Recognition

Sexual Orientation

Law Exists?

Tally

Marriage for Same-Sex Couples

1/1

Medical Decision-Making Authority for Same-Sex Couples

1/1

State Family Leave Laws Covering Same-Sex Couples

0/1

Negative Law: Ban on Marriage and/or Relationship Recognition for Same-Sex Couples

No Negative Law

Subtotal

2/3

Marriage and Relationship Recognition Total

2/3

http://www.lifelongadoptions.com/lgbt-adoption/lgbt-adoption-statistics
As reported on the 2000 Census, about 65,000 children lived with same sex parents. In 2012,
110,000 live with gay parents. Of the total amount of children in U.S. households, less than 1%
live with same-sex parents. Therefore, children with same-sex parents are still far and away a
minority.

Households with Children in the US

Married
Unmarried
Same-Sex
Opposite-Sex Couples Opposite-Sex Couples Couples
Households with children

22,872,151

2,267,016

94,627

Biological only

90.80%

88%

72.80%

Step only or adopted only

4.40%

5.20%

21.20%

Combination

4.80%

6.80%

6%

0/-1

http://www.livescience.com/17913-advantages-gay-parents.html
Catholic opposition aside, research suggests that gay and lesbian parents are actually a powerful
resource for kids in need of adoption. According to a 2007 report by the Williams Institute and
the Urban Institute, 65,000 kids were living with adoptive gay parents between 2000 and 2002,
with another 14,000 in foster homes headed by gays and lesbians. (There are currently more than
100,000 kids in foster care in the U.S.)
An October 2011 report by Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute found that, of gay and lesbian
adoptions at more than 300 agencies, 10 percent of the kids placed were older than 6 typically
a very difficult age to adopt out. About 25 percent were older than 3. Sixty percent of gay and
lesbian couples adopted across races, which is important given that minority children in the
foster system tend to linger. More than half of the kids adopted by gays and lesbians had special
needs.
The report didn't compare the adoption preferences of gay couples directly with those of
heterosexual couples, said author David Brodzinsky, research director at the Institute and coeditor of "Adoption By Lesbians and Gay Men: A New Dimension of Family Diversity" (Oxford
University Press, 2011). But research suggests that gays and lesbians are more likely than
heterosexuals to adopt older, special-needs and minority children, he said. Part of that could be
their own preferences, and part could be because of discrimination by adoption agencies that puts
more difficult children with what caseworkers see as "less desirable" parents.

Problems
http://family.findlaw.com/adoption/gay-and-lesbian-adoptive-parents-issues-and-concerns.html
It is critical to address a few issues and concerns -- both founded and unfounded -- unique to gay
and lesbian adoptive parents, so that social workers can examine their own personal biases to
make informed decisions and gay and lesbian adoptive families can receive the support they need
to thrive.
"What is Sexual Orientation?"
The American Psychological Association defines sexual orientation as "one of four components
of sexuality and is distinguished by an enduring emotional, romantic, sexual or affectionate
attraction to individuals of a particular gender. The three other components of sexuality are
biological sex, gender identity (the psychological sense of being male or female) and social sex
role (the adherence to cultural norms for feminine or masculine behaviors)."

For most people, sexual orientation emerges in early adolescence without any prior sexual
experience. Sexual orientation is different from sexual behavior because it refers to innate
feelings and self-concept and may not be expressed in behavior. Understanding the source of
sexual orientation depends on which side of the nature versus nurture debate you fall. Some
theories point to genetic or inborn hormonal factors; others to early childhood life experiences.
Many believe sexual orientation is shaped at an early age through a combination of biological,
psychological and social factors.
"Will Children Be Molested by Homosexual Parents?"
There is no legitimate scientific research connecting homosexuality and pedophilia. Sexual
orientation (homosexual or heterosexual) is defined as an adult attraction to other adults.
Pedophilia is defined as an adult sexual attraction or perversion to children. In a study of 269
cases of child sex abuse, only two offenders where found to be gay or lesbian. More relevant was
the finding that of the cases involving molestation of a boy by a man, seventy-four percent of the
men were or had been in a heterosexual relationship with the boys mother or another female
relative. The conclusion was found that "a child's risk of being molested by his or her relative's
heterosexual partner is over one hundred times greater than by someone who might be
identifiable as being homosexual."
"Will Children of Gay or Lesbian Parents Be Teased or Harassed?"
Children of gay men and lesbians are vulnerable to teasing and harassment, particularly as they
approach adolescence, when any sign of difference is grounds for exclusion. How much of a
problem is it? Is it likely to cause lasting psychological damage?
Gay and lesbian parents are well aware of the difficulties that a child may face - many have dealt
with prejudice all of their lives. Most see it as an opportunity for ongoing discussion that will
help their children grow as people.
In custody cases involving a gay or lesbian parent, courts have considered the fact that a child
might be teased as contrary to the best interests of the child. They argue that the stigma attached
to having a gay or lesbian parent will damage a child's self-esteem. This has been refuted in
many studies. Research has found that although children of gays and lesbians do report
experiencing teasing because of their parent(s), their self-esteem levels are no lower than those
of children of heterosexual parents.
Nonetheless, social workers and even some gay men and lesbians considering adoption wonder if
it is in the best interest of a child to be raised by homosexual parents. "It can be too hard a
transition for some children, especially those who are older and have already formed
preconceived notions about homosexuality," explains Abby Ruder, a therapist, lesbian, and
adoptive mother. "Younger children usually have an easier time adjusting to a gay and lesbian
parented home. They haven't learned the societal biases against gays and lesbians yet." When a

gay person is being considered as a potential adoptive parent for an older child, the child should
be told about the person's sexual orientation and asked his feelings about it. If the child is
comfortable with the information, the caseworker can proceed to the next step.
Gay and lesbian adoptive parents must also think about how they will explain to younger
children, in age-appropriate language, not only how and why the child was adopted but also
about the parents' sexual orientation. Both are complex subjects that should be addressed a
number of times as the child grows and matures, each time adding new information as the child
asks and is able to absorb and understand more. Then both topics become accepted facts of
family life.
"Will Children Raised in Homosexual Households Become Gay?"
The bulk of evidence to date indicates that children raised by gay and lesbian parents are no
more likely to become homosexual than children raised by heterosexuals. As one researcher put
it, "If heterosexual parenting is insufficient to ensure that children will also be heterosexual, then
there is no reason to conclude that children of homosexuals also will be gay".
Studies asking the children of gay fathers to express their sexual orientation showed the majority
of children to be heterosexual, with the proportion of gay offspring similar to that of a random
sample of the population. An assessment of more than 300 children born to gay or lesbian
parents in 12 different samples shows no evidence of "significant disturbances of any kind in the
development of sexual identity among these individuals."
"Will Children Develop Problems Growing Up in a Homosexual Household?"
Courts have expressed concern that children raised by gay and lesbian parents may have
difficulties with their personal and psychological development, self-esteem, and social and peer
relationships. Because of this concern, researchers have focused on children's development in
gay and lesbian families.
The studies conclude that children of gay or lesbian parents are no different than their
counterparts raised by heterosexual parents. In "Children of Lesbian and Gay Parents," a 1992
article in Child Development, Charlotte Patterson states, "Despite dire predictions about children
based on well-known theories of psychosocial development, and despite the accumulation of a
substantial body of research investigating these issues, not a single study has found children of
gay or lesbian parents to be disadvantaged in any significant respect relative to children of
heterosexual parents."
Psychiatrist Laurintine Fromm, of the Institute of Pennsylvania Hospital, agrees with that
finding. "[The] literature...does not indicate that these children fare any worse [than those of
heterosexual parents] in any area of psychological development or sexual identity formation. A
parent's capacity to be respectful and supportive of the child's autonomy and to maintain her own
intimate attachments, far outweighs the influence of the parent's sexual orientation alone."

https://www.aamft.org/imis15/aamft/Content/Consumer_Updates/Samesex_Parents_and_Their_Children.aspx
Most research studies show that children with two moms or two dads fare just as well as children
with heterosexual parents. In fact, one comprehensive study of children raised by lesbian
mothers or gay fathers concluded that children raised by same-sex parents did not differ from
other children in terms of emotional functioning, sexual orientation, stigmatization, gender role
behavior, behavioral adjustment, gender identity, learning and grade point averages. Where
research differences have been found, they have sometimes favored same-sex parents.
Major issues affecting same-sex parented families that are often addressed in therapy:

Lesbian and gay parented families may have concerns about discrimination in parenting
and custody arrangements. A parents minority sexual orientation and/or gender identity
status may be brought up in custody disputes as a reason to restrict or deny custody by
the childrens other parent and/or by the courts.

The many co-parenting and blended family complexities present for heterosexual parents
can also be present for same-sex parents with the additional complexities of
discrimination, stereotypes, and assumptions.

Relationships and problems with non-biological parent figures are common among
lesbian and gay parented families simply due to the biological complexities involved with
conceiving children when parents are the same sex.

In same-sex relationships, it is common for extended family to acknowledge intimate

relationships differently from heterosexual relationships; this discriminatory treatment
can be confounded by parenting relationships as well. Extended family may see parenting
as a necessary step in validating a relationship for same-sex couples or they may view
parenting with similar biased and discriminatory views, even denying one parents
relationship to the children.

Explaining relationship status and family make-up to school professionals, medical

professionals, childrens friends/parents, as well as explaining relationship status and
family make-up to children, can be uniquely complex for same-sex parents. Though
many family relationships may be complex, explaining family relationships is uniquely
complex for lesbian and gay parented families because of the lack of societal norms and
relevant examples in media, stereotyped notions about such relationships that are
common, and the fear of discrimination faced by these families.

Competent parenting may be influenced by gay and lesbian parents ability to accept and
acknowledge their identity and how they are able to negotiate living in a heterosexist,
homophobic, or otherwise discriminatory society, while rearing their children in a family
unit that is not socially sanctioned. Therapists acknowledge the prevalence both of
homophobia that is experienced by the family as a result of the actions of others, as well

as the existence of internalized homophobia and how this may impact families.
Internalized homophobia is defined as a set of negative attitudes and affects toward
homosexuality in other persons and toward homosexual features in oneself. Therapists
will help illustrate to the family how homophobia could be impacting them. Both
internalized homophobia and experiences of outside discrimination may mean that
families need more time in therapy to build rapport with the therapist and to feel
comfortable disclosing personal and family-related concerns.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_pare3.htm
Many conservative Christians believe that homosexuality is a chosen lifestyle, an
unnatural and deviant behavior, and changeable. In this, they differ from mental health
therapists and human sexuality researchers, who look upon homosexuality as a fixed,
non-chosen orientation, that is natural and normal for a minority of humans.
Conservatives also generally believe that homosexual behavior is hated by God and
condemned by the Bible. From these core beliefs, many conclude that:
Granting gays and lesbians the same rights that heterosexuals already enjoy
would be dangerous to society.
Same-sex marriage and civil unions represent a profound threat to heterosexual
marriages and the institution of the family.
Children would be harmed if they grew up in gay or lesbians families:
Children in a gay household would grow up without a mother figure.
Children in a lesbian household would grow up without a father
figure.
Children are at risk because they are exposed to the "homosexual
lifestyle."
Children are more likely to grow up homosexual
Beliefs of "Focus on the Family":

Focus on the Family, a Fundamentalist Christian group in Colorado. They are one of the
leading organizations which opposes equal rights for gays and lesbians. In their book on
homosexuality, they discuss "Homosexuality and the Family" from an Evangelical
Christian perspective. 1 They make a number of assertions:
The legal and financial costs to society of heterosexual marriage are balanced
by "social benefits produced by successful marriages and parenting."
Homosexual marriages would bring the same costs to society, but would have
no balancing benefits.
The best parents for raising children consists of a father and a mother.
Legalizing same-sex marriages will weaken the traditional heterosexual
marriage.
Granting the right of adoption to homosexuals would be a new right - an act of
social experimentation which may injure children.
Florida and New Hampshire have laws forbidding adoption by homosexuals;
Arkansas, Missouri, North Dakota and Virginia have legal precedences which
found that gays and lesbians are automatically unfit as parents. California,
Minnesota, New York and New Jersey have laws or regulations which permit
homosexual adoption.
They cite two stories as justification for banning gay and lesbian adoptions.
A young woman was subjected to ridicule by homophobic people in
the community because she was raised by two same-sex parents.
A second woman who was raised by two lesbian parents felt that, as
an adult, she did not know how to relate to a man.
It is possible to imagine a scenario in which a child would be better off raised
by a homosexual couple rather than being raised with an abusive parent or in a
series of foster homes.

There is no evidence to show that gay parents can be as successful in raising

children as heterosexual parents.
The "psychological dynamics at the root of homosexual desire, as well as the
medical risks which accompany homosexual behavior" are strong reasons to
forbid adoption by gays and lesbians.
Allowing homosexual adoption brings no obvious benefit and exposes children
to damage; it should not be allowed.
In a divorce involving a homosexual parent, the heterosexual parent should
generally be granted custody. "...the granting of adoption or custody rights to
homosexual parents must...be a last resort."
Placing children with homosexual foster parents puts them in "potentially
harmful environments" They adults may treat the child as a temporary object of
pleasure"
Lesbians can only become pregnant through artificial insemination or by
heterosexual intercourse, which would not be a natural procedure for her.
Lesbians desire a sexual partnership with another woman. But that union
cannot by itself cause procreation. Pregnancy within a lesbian relationship
"while effecting no clear benefit, does have the potential for a great deal of
harm."
Artificial insemination of lesbians should not be permitted.

https://www.law.cornell.edu/constitution/amendmentxiv
Amendment XIV
Section 1.

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction
thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state
shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens
of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property,
without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal
protection of the laws
http://law2.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/conlaw/gayrights.htm
As of 2013, twelve states recognize same sex marriage (see map). In several states,
the state supreme courts (Massachusetts, Iowa, and Connecticut) found bans on
same-sex marriage to violate state constitutions and in other states, legislatures
moved to allow same-sex marriages. In California, where the state legislature
legalized same sex marriage only to have the voters overturn that law by initiative
(Amendment 8), a federal district court found Amendment 8 to violate federal equal
protection principles and the state chose not to appeal. In 2013, the Supreme Court
in Hollingsworth v Perry dismissed an appeal by proponents of Amendment 8 for
lack of standing, a decision which effectively will open the doors to gay marriage in
California
In 2015, facing a circuit split, the Supreme Court resolved the question of whether
state bans on gay marriage violated the Equal Protection and.or Due Process Clause
of the 14th Amendment. In Obergefell v Hodges, a five-member Court majority
concluded that the bans did indeed violate both 14 Amendment provisions. Writing
for the Court, Justice Kennedy said the Framers of the Constitution "did not
presume to know the extent of freedom in all of its dimensions, and so they
entrusted future generations a charter protecting the right of all persons to enjoy
liberty as me we learn its meaning." With "new insights" into liberty's meaning,
"The Court now holds that same sex couples may exercise the fundamental right to
marry." In dissent, Chief Justice Roberts argued the "Constitution had nothing to
do" with the right granted by the Court which, in his opinion, was making a
decision left by the Framers to legislatures. Justice Scalia ridiculed the reasoning of
the Court, indicating in a footnote that he would hold his head "in a bag" if he were
compelled to join the majority's opinion.

Benefits
http://adoptuskids.org/_assets/files/strategies-for-recruiting-LGBT-foster-adoptive-kinshipfamilies.pdf

Lesbian and Gay Families, LGBT families can bring particular strengths to parenting children
in foster care. These strengths include:
1 LGBT parents can relate to adopted childrens feelings of differentness.

2
3
4
5
6

Adoption decision is very intentional by LGBT parents.

For LGBT families, adoption is most often their first choice.
LGBT parents may be more resourceful and may know where to find help.
LGBT parents may be more aware of support systems.
LGBT parents can expose children to a diverse world and acceptance of differences in
people.

Some people say that children need a mother and a father to raise us; to provide both viewpoints
of gender: masculinity, femininity and all the issues those entail. However, there are many who
believe that gender does not matter when parenting. Over the years, the number of children
living with LGBT parents has risen tremendously. As the trend continues, that number will only
increase, as same sex adoption and parenting becomes more and more widely accepted
http://www.livescience.com/17913-advantages-gay-parents.html
Gay parents "tend to be more motivated, more committed than heterosexual parents on average,
because they chose to be parents," said Abbie Goldberg, a psychologist at Clark University in
Massachusetts who researches gay and lesbian parenting. Gays and lesbians rarely become
parents by accident, compared with an almost 50 percent accidental pregnancy rate among
heterosexuals, Goldberg said. "That translates to greater commitment on average and more
involvement."
And while research indicates that kids of gay parents show few differences in achievement,
mental health, social functioning and other measures, these kids may have the advantage of
open-mindedness, tolerance and role models for equitable relationships, according to some
research. Not only that, but gays and lesbians are likely to provide homes for difficult-to-place
children in the foster system, studies show. (Of course, this isn't to say that heterosexual parents
can't bring these same qualities to the parenting table.

Solutions
http://adoptuskids.org/_assets/files/strategies-for-recruiting-LGBT-foster-adoptive-kinshipfamilies.pdf

Initial Contact with Your Agency

The way in which your agency greets prospective foster and adoptive parents when they first
make contact has significant impact and sets the tone for future interactions. When LGBT prospective parents initially contact your agency, they may be looking for indicators that they will
be welcomed and respected.
A less-than-warm initial response to a phone call, or during an initial interview, may discourage
some potentially successful adoptive or foster parents, regardless of whether they are LGBT.
Many foster and adoptive parents

describe how they had to be determined and persistent in order to actually make it through the
licensing or home study process. Some have expressed fear that other potentially good applicants
may not survive what they see as an obstacle course designed to keep them out.
A discouraging agency response reflects the experience of many LGBT parents when they
initially make contact. Some face outright rejection and hostility. For others the experience is
more subtle but still includes signals that the agency is not welcoming, such as being asked early
on in the initial phone call, What is your husbands/wifes name? One lesbian foster parent
recalled having to deal with a social workers embarrassment and confusion when she realized
she was taking an inquiry from a lesbian couple. If she couldnt deal with that, what did it say
about the agency and how they would treat us. Clearly, they had not given any thought to the fact
that lesbian and gay couples might apply. It also meant I had to come out in response it did not
feel positive, welcoming or comfortable.14
1
2
3
4

Recommendations from LGBT Families to Agencies*

Every family is different and the needs of families (gay or straight) should be evaluated
individually.
Agencies must re-evaluate their entire approach to recruitment and retention of LGBT
adopters. It is not enough just to do a single campaign.
LGBT families should be integrated throughout the process, not given special
preference.
Agency staff need to be educated about LGBT parenting and adoption so that LGBT
families dont have to fight against prejudice or work to overcome the stereotypes about
the LGBT community.
Agencies should be honest with LGBT families about the challenges that they will face in
the adoption process as an LGBT prospective parent.

work to overcome the stereotypes about the LGBT community.

Agencies should be honest with LGBT families about the challenges that they will face in the
adoption process as an LGBT prospective parent.