My Personal Life Philosophy

Candyce Taylor
Values & Self Image
Spring 2016

In this paper for my Values and Self Image class, I will explain what it means to me to
have a personal life philosophy. Ill examine different areas of my life, and what I value most, to
understand the workings of my mind and my actions. I will also review some of the goals Ive
recently made to improve areas of my life, and how working to accomplish them has helped me
learn about myself. Ill refer to the different viewpoints in the book, Constructing a Life
Philosophy, by author Mark Ray Schmidt Ph.D., to show how Ive been inspired to create my
own philosophy, and whose viewpoints have played a part in my newfound perspectives. I will
also look at other resources to find out how other people have designed their own life
philosophies, and look for strategies to develop my own.
A life philosophy is developed through a combination of personal values, goals, and self
discipline. Also, Ive learned its greatly affected by cultural, environmental, and religious factors.
I think its really important to keep an open mind, and not assume I have all the answers. In fact,
I think its better to keep asking questions, in order to stay informed on the ever-changing world
we all live in and adapt to it. Until recently, I havent been required to look at my choices under a
microscope. I may not be very consistent or disciplined, but I still make choices that coincide
with my values. Everyone makes decisions based on beliefs they have about the world around
them. But to me, it seems that people who are more self aware, in turn have more control over
how their lives will turn out.
While reading the book Constructing a Life Philosophy, author Mark Ray Schmidt Ph.D
points out how important it is to develop critical thinking skills. In life we are bombarded by
opinions and societal pressures everywhere we go. If our critical thinking skills arent fine tuned,
well be fooled and not even know its happening. In this book, I looked at the varied viewpoints,
but the ones that stood out to me were from M. Scott Peck and Plato about the importance of
developing a life philosophy. Peck says we need to have a map for life, which must be
constantly revised, so we dont get lost due to misinformation. He says that choosing to deny
this maps truths and manipulating it to conform to our beliefs, is the basis of mental illness
which psychiatrists refer to as transference. Its described as a learned truth about reality from a
young age, that is transferred to adulthood. Its human nature to avoid this realization that our
maps are out of date or false, and very difficult to confront and challenge these truths that
have shaped us. Plato also had a great analogy of false versus true reality called Are We Living
in a Cave? Basically its about prisoners living in a cave who are forced to stare at a wall with

light reflecting shapes of real things. They base their beliefs about reality on their limited view
from the cave, but once theyre let out, and see the sun and water and shadows from trees, they
dont believe what theyre seeing is real, and they want to go back to their cave. He explains
that its difficult for them to want to stay in reality with all these real things, because they dont
understand that what they were seeing before is now false.
I think both of these philosophies are so spot on, and its helped me to empathize with
people who are different from me. Whether it be cultural, religious, gender or mental differences,
or just point of view. No one thinks the same way I do, or makes sense of things in the way I do.
Besides my genetics, Im made up of my experiences. And the choices I make are based on my
values and my understanding of reality. This is all very complex, and more than anyone can put
into a few short words.
Another viewpoint I really appreciated in Constructing a Life Philosophy comes from the
autobiography of Benjamin Franklin. He believed people should strive towards moral perfection
in life, and in order to do this, he had to have complete self control. He made a list of twelve
virtues, and he would spend a lot of time on each one until he felt he mastered it. But what
stood out to me the most was that he added humility to the list later on in his life. It was the
hardest for him to perfect, and he conceded that perfection wasnt possible, but he was a better
man for trying. I think that trying is the most important thing anyone can live by. For me, its
trying to be a good wife, a good mother, a good student, a good friend, a good human being and
so on.
Ive been researching others viewpoints on how to create my own philosophy. I read an
article by Jon Mertz, called Develop a Personal Philosophy- 6 Questions to Answer. The one
that stood out to me was question 3: What gives you a sense of satisfaction at the end of the
day? I know, when I go to bed, its so important to me to know that Ive done all I can to make
sure my daughters feel loved, safe, and happy. If weve argued or I got upset, I make sure to
apologize before turning out their lights. I always kiss them, and say I love you. Sweet dreams.
before leaving their room. Its these little things that give me the satisfaction of knowing Ive
done my job as a mother.
This leads me to the realization that Im this way with everyone I meet. Ive been called
an empath because I feel what others are feeling, and I can understand and empathize with
how someone is perceiving their experiences. I pick up on body language and emotions, and I
react in the way I think that person will appreciate most. This can get me into trouble though.
Sometimes I end up doing things I dont want to because I dont want to make someone feel

uncomfortable or inconvenienced. I sacrifice my needs in order to help someone else with

theirs.
This self sacrifice is pretty common though with being a parent. Everyone says
becoming a parent will change your life, but I dont think theres any way to explain to
someone who isnt a parent, how it is to actually be one. Theres a sense of selflessness, and
pure love and devotion for that little person, and you would sacrifice yourself to make sure
theyre happy and safe. I think the moment I became a mother, is when I found my lifes
purpose, which can also be referred to as a philosophy. Up until that point, for most of my
adolescence, I felt alone and unconfident in myself. They gave me something to live for, and my
love for them gave me the ability to in turn love myself. I want them to look up to me, and admire
the person that I am. They give me the drive to work hard and be the best person I can be,
because I know they are learning from my example. I wasn't fortunate to have a good example
from my own mother, but as long as I can remember, I knew what I was missing out on, and I
learned from her what not to do.
Something else I find so Important is educating myself, so I dont jump to conclusions
and make decisions that will inhibit me. To use an example, Ive always been interested in
psychology. Ive been exposed to a great deal of mental illness in my lifetime. My mother is a
hypochondriac, my grandma is a hoarder, my ex husband is schizophrenic, and Im bipolar. The
National Alliance on Mental Illness says A mental illness is a condition that impacts a person's
thinking, feeling or mood and may affect his or her ability to relate to others and function on a
daily basis. Instead of feeling sorry for myself and my circumstances and being angry with my
family and myself, I wanted to learn more about these illnesses. The more I learned, the more I
realized their actions werent under their control. They couldnt be reasoned with because they
didnt believe anything was wrong with them. This is how it was for me, when I had a manic
episode due to bipolar disorder. I was acting in ways which werent like me, and I thought
everything was fine, but for the people around me who love me, they were concerned about my
behavior and actions. A lot of damage was done, but luckily I was able to see reason and got
myself help.
This leads me to the understanding that I find it very important to take care of myself. By
this I mean my physical and mental well being are high up on my priority list. I make sure to go
to the doctor if Im sick, as well as psychotherapy and my psychiatrist, so that Im at my best. I
dont drink alcohol, do drugs, or hang around with people who dont value this for themselves. I
want to be in control of my actions, and I cant if Im impaired in some way. I encourage this in
my children as well, so they also go to therapy. I think its vital to have a neutral party to share all

your thoughts with, no matter how crazy they sound, so you dont hurt anyone you love, and you
can make sense of the jumbled mess in your subconscious mind. NAMI also has this to say,
Early engagement and support are crucial to improving outcomes and increasing the promise
of recovery.
I think its so important to educate the younger generation, so our world has a promising
future. For this values class, I made ten goals that address each area of live that correlate with
my values. Four of them had to do with educating my daughters, because I have a big influence
on how theyll grow up to make choices of their own, and educate their own children. This will be
a domino effect of passing down values. Completing these four goals was the easiest for me,
which make me think this is a big part of my life philosophy. They were to teach them about
realistic beauty standards and how to treat minorities fairly. Also, to give them more
responsibilities, so they feel like they have some control in life. And to spend one weekend day
away from electronics, and do family activities, bonding, and just talking. This will help them feel
secure and appreciated by me and their dad. Another way I educate the younger generation is
at work, where I test kids on their reading comprehension. I give them positive feedback and
encouragement, so they feel confident about themselves. I love the work I do, its so rewarding,
and the children seem to enjoy the time they spend with me.
Ive been looking at how others develop a personal philosophy, and a lot of people like to
break it down into a few easy steps or tips. I even found a quiz you can take online at
gotoquiz.com which takes your answers, and classifies your philosophy by comparing it to other
famous philosophers. They said mine was closest to Sartre/the atheist existentialist. This was
intriguing, because Ive heard of the philosopher Jean Paul Sartre, but have never really had an
interest in philosophy to learn more. Ive learned that existentialism, in brief and according to
Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is a chiefly 20th century philosophical movement embracing
diverse doctrines but centering on analysis of individual existence in an unfathomable universe
and the plight of the individual who must assume ultimate responsibility for acts of free will
without any certain knowledge of what is right or wrong or good or bad. Even though this
sounds good, I dont consider myself an existentialist. I try not to believe in too many things,
because I think believing makes it hard to challenge or think objectively about a thing.
Belief is the basis for religion, and where religions can be a good thing for those who
take part in them, I think it can also divide people, because they believe their god is truer than
someone elses. I know I have a great deal more to learn, but I tend to lean more towards
acceptance and compassion for others whose opinions differ from my own. They have reason to
think and make sense of things the way they do, and so do I. I think everyone should be free to

rationalize and worship in whatever manner they choose, and not be punished or rejected for it.
According to Wikipedia, there is an estimated 4,200 religions in the world. People need to
believe in something bigger than themselves, and I totally understand that need. We all want to
make sense of this life and our purpose here, but I think all we can do is make the best of the
time we have, and not waste a second of it. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, To be yourself in a
world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Words to live by.

Bibliography:

Mertz, JM. (2010). Develop a Personal Philosophy-6 Questions to Answer.

https://www.thindifference.com/engaging-blogs/
NAMI. (2016) Mental Health Conditions. https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/MentalHealth-Conditions
Merriam-Webster. Existentialism. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/existentialism
Zargar. Personal Philosophy. (2016). http://www.gotoquiz.com/results/personal_philosophy
Goodreads Inc. (2016). Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes.
http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/12080.Ralph_Waldo_Emerson