Johnny Pham

Writing 2 WP2

Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:22 AM

Comment [1]: This title makes me
wanna snooze, brother; plus, it doesn't
offer up any specifics about the paper
itself.
You're an insightful and curious guy -- use
that to your advantage.

The Unique Distinctions Between Scholarly vs. Non Scholarly Texts

Marijuana is a very controversial topic. There has been a lot of debate regarding its
possible legalization in several countries and the health benefits or detriments of the drug. Will
it help the economy? Do the advantages outweigh the risks of using marijuana? The arguments
surrounding this topic spark my interest, which is why it is important to discuss different textual
genres regarding the issues people have about the herbal medicine. Two scholarly articles
The Economic Case for Marijuana Legalization in Canada and Adverse Health Effects of
Marijuana Use highlight the economic and health science concerns. Heres Hoping for a
Marijuana Measure Thats Not Half-baked is an online LA Times editorial offering an authors
opinions. These texts take on different sides of the controversies surrounding marijuana and take
on different audiences. Each source is written in a unique style in terms of context of each piece
and the data presentation, while offering different insight in a way that is effective and appeals to
each targeted audience.
By analyzing the structure of each piece, one can tell apart a scholarly article from a nonacademic media text in this case online newspaper editorials. The title is the first thing to
appear in most texts. It is seen even before starting to read, and the larger font grabs the
attention of the reader. It gives a clue of the context that is present throughout the text, being
able to give the reader a first impression. The title of the editorial Heres Hoping for a
Marijuana Measure Thats Not Half-baked gives a casual impression, much less serious than
the straightforward titles given to the two academic texts, whose names are stated in the previous
paragraph. The use of alliteration in the title also adds on to the casual feel, as the variation of

Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:21 AM

Comment [2]: Johnny Pham, I know this
-- tell me something I don't know. Get me
jazzed up. *Be controversial*, yourself!
Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:21 AM
Comment [3]: Dig the qs -- gets me
thinking.
Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:23 AM
Comment [4]: They're unique, they're
different... OK, but so what? Tell me why
this matters.
Also, I want you to get (a lot) more
specific. And what specific points are you
going to use to make that case? What
about the conventions within this genre will
you be emphasizing? And what about
moves?
The introductory paragraph is so crucial
*for readers* because it provides them
with the expectations for your whole piece.
The more direction you give me, the more
focused *my reading* will be --- and the
more I'll be able to take away from your
piece.

Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:20 AM

Comment [5]: When I see thiseven
before I start readingI think, Ahhhhhhh!
Attack of the page-long paragraph!
See if you like this metaphor:
Pretend your whole paper is a big, juicy
steak. Do you want your reader to enjoy
that steak in easy-to-chew, digestable
bites? Or do you want them to start
gnawing away at whole thing in one piece
(think: zombie).
Paragraphs are like those bites. Give
your reader your argument in little,
digestable, one-idea-at-a-time bits. By
doing so, theyll be able to following along
the trail of your argument much easier.
... [1]
To

Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:24 AM

Comment [6]: My advice: steer clear of
thing and things in academic writing
(maybe even all writing!). Its suuuuuuper
vague. Academic writing rewards
precision and specificitybe direct and tell
me exactly what youre talking about.

the back-to-back words with the same first letters captures the readers interest and adds a sense
of creativity. The author probably includes this move to lighten the mood for the rest of the
editorial. As one starts to read the editorial, a picture of marijuana plants is displayed, as well as

graphs, charts, and tables that contribute to the more serious, academic style. Even by scrolling

Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:26 AM

Comment [7]: Here, you're moving from
the title (in, what you say, is a paragraph
about structure) other visual features.
Two qs:

through the editorial, the pictures brighten the page with the variation of colored visuals and

1, is it necessary to lump all of this

together in the same para? If so, why?

advertisements on the side. In the academic articles, the only visuals are of boring looking

words, further differentiating the two styles between the two different genres. Finally, in terms
of overall structure, the editorial is far friendlier towards the casual reader. The text is not too

2, Could it enhance to
*compare'n'contrast* the titles of the
pieces in 1 paragraph? Could that give
your reader more of a feel of how these
pieces differ?

long, and it concludes with a quote that is bolded, big, and a font that distinguishes it from the
rest of the article. In contrast, the two scholarly articles are so long that there needs to be titles
for each section. The journals are broken down into an introduction, methods and results, and
discussion sections, with sub-sections written within those parts. This is a more structured
format compared to the free-flowing style of the editorial. The rest of the texts fonts are the
same throughout the rest of the pieces, and with less distractions and visuals throughout the
scholarly texts, the focus is well directed towards the context of the articles.
The styles contrast between the scholarly article and the online editorial, but the two
academic articles also present their information with distinct techniques. The Economic Case for
Marijuana Legalization in Canada offers an economic perspective towards the legalization of
cannabis, while Adverse Health Effects of Marijuana Use creates a downside towards legalizing
the drug through research within the health sciences. These are of two different disciplines
economics and health sciences/biology and so the contexts are much different. The economics
article explains the financial benefit of Canada legalizing the marijuana. Different jargon is also
used in the sources. In Janet Boyds Murder! (Rhetorically Speaking), it is stated, Jargon is the

Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:28 AM

Comment [8]: Is all of this color/size stuff
that important?
This quote that you mentioned -- what's
the deal with it? Ending a piece with a
quote gives us insight into how the writer
built/structured this piece, and remember:
that's ultimately what we're after here --how are these texts "built" in different
ways, why, and to what avail/effect?

Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:29 AM

Comment [9]: What journals? You
haven't really mentioned anything about
them besides their titles in the Intro.

Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:30 AM

Comment [10]: I'm a little confused here.
What, exactly, are you saying in this
sentence? What is this focus of this
paragraph in your own (different) words?

terminology used by those in a particular profession or group to facilitate clear and precise
communication (Boyd, 89). Economics-related diction is used in this article, such as, In a
free market such a profit margin would be fleeting (Flister, 97). Language such as free
market and profit margin are common economics terms that the reader is already expected to
know. In the health science article, the damaging effects of smoking or consuming cannabis are
described in detail. Just as in the economics scholarly article, there is jargon used throughout

Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:31 AM

Comment [11]: Nice use of the quote
here, but I'm wondering -- alright, so what?
The jargon is different... and???

the text, which can be described as medical terms, to present the academic information. An
example of that from the scientific journal is, THC can recalibrate the sensitivity of the reward
system to other drugs and that prenatal exposure interferes with cytoskeletal dynamics (Baler,
Compoton, Volkow, Weiss, 2220). Terms such as prenatal and cytoskeletal may confuse a
reader, unless he or she already has a previous health science knowledge. A lot is said regarding
marijuana in the scholarly articles, and so the writers must be able to support this academic
information with evidence.
The writers of both scholarly articles are able to back up their claims through collected
data, although the presentation and methods of obtaining the data are unique. In The Economic
Case for Marijuana Legalization in Canada, current retail prices and sales of marijuana in the

Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:31 AM

Comment [12]: Excellent. This is the
juicy part!

illegal market are used to estimate the profit Canada would receive through tax revenue if the
drug were made legal. The writer also calculates the minimal trade off involved, which covers
the benefit of removing weed-related criminal activity off the streets outweighing the medical
risks of the drug on the brain. Through this economics scholarly article, current data is used to
estimate future numbers. Obtaining statistics for the other scholarly article is not as simple. In
the health science article, surveys and experiments are completed to back up certain claims, and
this process takes a longer time. For example, in Adverse Health Effects of Marijuana Use,

Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:32 AM

Comment [13]: What kind of data?
What kind of stats? Be specific.

surveys are completed to estimate the amount of marijuana use among individuals and
experiments on rats are tested to help assess the long-term effects of consuming marijuana on the
human brain. This information is then conveyed through graphs and charts to help explain
different patterns of the health effects of frequent marijuana use. These data compilations build
on existing work to contribute new research to the academic community.
These different textual genres are written for a specific audience, so the author portrays
the information and data that was conducted through research in a way the given audience is
used to reading. In the editorial I talked about earlier, Heres Hoping for a Marijuana Measure
Thats Not Half-baked, the writer knows who the audience is. He doesnt need to provide an
enormous amount of data as used in the scholarly articles, because the audience is more
interested in the opinion than the actual research involved. As stated in the article, They'd do

Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:32 AM

Comment [14]: And who is that?
Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:32 AM
Comment [15]: And how can you tell?

well to learn from earlier, half-baked marijuana measures that were either wisely rejected by the
voters (such as 2010's Proposition 19, which would have legalized the drug) or were passed
(The Times Editorial Board). Instead of data and numbers, past experience is used to offer a
better-drafted proposition that may legalize cannabis in California in the near future. Through
editorials, experiments and precise data are not necessary in finding the research to create the
opinion piece. In the scholarly articles, though, researchers take data and statistics so the
articles can be accurate. As used in an academic setting, these journals must be precise and state
facts so that the research conducted can be credible. The academic audience needs the data to
form their own educated opinion and improve their knowledge towards the topic, so they need to
know that the scholarly journal is legit. The audience expects to read an article the way they are
used to, and it is the writers job to keep the writing within the specific conventions of the textual
genre.

Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:33 AM

Comment [16]: OK, so if this is their
ultimate argument -- or something along
those lines -- how does it different from the
other writers'/researchers' ultimate
argument/point?

As stated earlier, both scholarly articles and the editorial differ through context and
structure. The reason for these differences in conventions and styles is the type of audience who
usually reads each textual genre. But who exactly reads newspaper editorials and scholarly
articles? To answer this question, it has to be determined how one can come across these sources.
There are people who check on online newspaper websites to keep updated with the daily news.
The online editorial I chose was written for a news cite LA TIMES -- and so the audience for
this specific academic text may be described as an occasional reader who may be interested in
the topic of marijuana. In editorials, writers write their opinions about a topic. It is a short read,
and as mentioned earlier the webpage is visually appealing while being easy to access. Readers
of these are more inclined to go through the article without much analysis, and then maybe go
through other related editorials or articles through links on the website. The readers of the
scholarly articles, though, are of a more specialized kind of audience. They are called scholarly
articles for a reason, as the journals are written for a scholarly audience. Subject-related jargon
is used within each scholarly journal, so audiences that go out of their reading comfort zone and
come across these texts may be unfamiliar with the wording. Also, since the audience is of an
academic setting, they find these to do more research on the topic, and break it apart and input
analysis for their own studies. But, scholarly journals arent found on most websites. Either
found through online (or actual physical) libraries such as Google Scholar or the UCSB library,
the casual online audience doesnt usually come across these scholarly genre types. Scholarly
articles are not as easily found as editorials -- which can be discovered through many websites
and newspapers -- so the audience is more limited and constricted to an academic audience who
wants to find out about the research results.

Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:33 AM

Comment [17]: Fluff?

Since scholarly articles and mainstream media texts are tailored towards a targeted
audience, each has limitations and constraints that a reader not associated with the specific
audience may find. According to Laura Carroll, Constraints limit the way the discourse is
delivered or communicated (Carroll, 41). A normal reader may not understand the word choice
in a scholarly article. They may find it boring and too bland, with too many words and too much
material. In contrast, a scholarly audience may not find enough information and hard facts from
a newspaper editorial, and may find it useless since some of the opinions arent backed by
experiments. If one source doesnt have the right way of portraying information to the audience,
there is always another textual genre that will fulfill the needs of the audience. Each textual
genre is targeted for a targeted audience, and usually only for that specific audience.
Academic journal articles and online newspaper editorials are two separate kinds of
textual genre, and the differences between these genres help demonstrate how each pertains to a
certain, specific audience. Through the differences of context within each piece and the data to
back up each claim amongst the scholarly and non-scholarly articles, distinct moves separated
each textual media source from the other, and so each article is written for each targeted
audience.

Zack De Piero 2/28/2016 7:34 AM

Comment [18]: Getting into affordances
and constraints is a great idea -- weaving
this throughout your whole paper could
enhance your paper/argument (I'm still not
quite sure what, exactly, your argument
is).

Works Cited
Baler, Ruben. Compton, Wilson. Volkow, Nora. Weiss, Susan. Adverse Health Effects of
Marijuana Use. The New England Journal of Medicine. (2014). 2219-2227. Web.
Boyd, Janet. Murder! (Rhetorically Speaking). Parlor Press. 2011.
Carroll, Laura. Backpacks vs. Briefcases: Steps Toward Rhetorical Analysis. Parlor Press. 2010.
Flister, Larissa. The Economic Case for Marijuana Legalization in Canada. Journal of
Alternative Perspectives in the Social Sciences .Volume 5. (2012). 96-100. Web.
The Times Editorial Board. Heres hoping for a marijuana measure thats not half-baked. LA
Times. Web. 1 April 2015.

Writing 2 Feedback Matrix for WP2

Table of Textual Features and Qualities
Did Not Meet
Expectations

Met
Expectations

Exceeded
Expectations

Thesis Statement

Use of Textual Evidence from

Genres

X-

Use of Course Readings

X-

Analysis

Organization/Structure

Attention to
Genre/Conventions and
Rhetorical Factors

Attention to Moves

Sentence-level Clarity,
Mechanics, Flow

XJohnny Pham,

Comments and Grade

Please read through my comments 2 or 3x to get a feel
for how I think you might be able to improve this
paper going forth. I think its got a bunch of
potential, and youre well on your way to making this a
thorough addition to your portfolio. OK, so aside
from my comments, here are some other thoughts:

Id like you to have a more deliberate argument at

hand -- finding out what, exactly, youre trying to
convince me of might also help you to think about
what kind of structure/organization would be best
suited to laying out that argument from the start to the
finish. Id like you to consider: how can I lay out your
argument 1 (small) piece at a time so your reader can
best understand how your argument plays out? What
are some ways (plural) to lay out this paper, and which
way (singular) would be the best for me and my
readers?
Id also like to see you get into the

research/evidence/noteworthy aspects of these pieces

more. Get into the data. Get into their RQs. What
does it seem like each perspective values with regard
to understanding this topic?
Lastly, what happened to moves? You didnt seem
to address that at all, and thats a key part of this
assignment.
Z
7/10