Running head: A BLOSSOMING FLOWER ON THE PATH TO SELF-AUTHORSHIP

A Blossoming Flower on the Path to Self-Authorship

Alyson Cole
Northern Illinois University

A BLOSSOMING FLOWER ON THE PATH TO SELF-AUTHORSHIP

Introduction
Throughout my life, I have experienced a variety of ups and downs that have made me
the person I am today. Specifically, through my undergraduate years as well as my transition to
graduate school, I have discovered who I am, why I am the way I am, and how I want to
construct relationships with others based on my belief system. The process of creating a concept
map involving my journey and how it relates to Baxter Magoldas Theory of Self-Authorship
was reflective, in-depth, and refreshing. I was able to contemplate my life and how I have
developed into the person I am today, categorizing events into the four phases on the path to selfauthorship: following formulas, crossroads, becoming the author of ones life, and internal
foundation. It was refreshing to see how far Ive come in terms of Baxter Magoldas path
towards self-authorship over the past six years, which I focused on most when creating my
concept map.
Following Formulas
The first phase in the path to self-authorship revolves around the outside influences in
ones life. In the following formulas phase, people are living their life according to the plans that
others have laid out for them. Being the youngest of three siblings, and youngest in my extended
family as well, I grew up following the paths of my two older brothers and parents the majority
of my life. I was not an ambitious, risk-taking child by any means. In junior high and high
school, I was very involved in marching band, where I played the trumpet just as my older
brother, Stephen, had when he was in school. I was an active member of church youth group and
choir, following the footsteps of my brothers, Geoffrey and Stephen. I tried my best to get
involved athletically, playing basketball for a number of years, as well as running track and field
just as my older brothers had during their schooling years. When it came time for me to apply for

A BLOSSOMING FLOWER ON THE PATH TO SELF-AUTHORSHIP

college, I didnt think twice about following the footsteps of Geoffrey, Stephen, and my mother,
in attending Central Michigan University (CMU). This is shown on the bottom of my concept
map through footprints leading to a flying C, which represents my choice in attending CMU to
earn my undergraduate degree.
Like many college freshman, I struggled to find myself with so many choices to make
and opportunities being presented to me in my first year of college. Although I had struggled
academically throughout my life, my best subject in school had always remained English. Seeing
as how my mother was a teacher, I decided to take EDU107: Introduction to Teaching to see if I
could carry on the tradition; as they say, like mother like daughter. This is shown on my concept
map with an apple, ruler, and pencil to represent teaching.
Having a first grade teacher mom and a legal investigator dad made for a home
environment where breaking the rules was unacceptable and always had consequences.
Therefore, I learned from my brothers mistakes and tried to not make many of my own, very
rarely rebelling against my parents when I was growing up. This is shown on my concept map
with a RULES OF LIFE book. This goody-goody, or angel-child persona clashed with the
majority of the typical college freshmen I lived with, sat by in class, and talked to on campus.
This is shown on my concept map with the word FRIENDS written with staggered lettering
and question marks surrounding the word. As a result, I talked to my Resident Assistant (RA)
about how to handle the situation. He suggested that I attend Hall Council to get involved in
something close to home with a population that may be more receptive to my preferred lifestyle.
Little did I know it at the time, but this involvement would lead me to my future career in
Student Affairs.

A BLOSSOMING FLOWER ON THE PATH TO SELF-AUTHORSHIP

Crossroads
The second phase in the path to self-authorship focuses on the realization one has when
the plans he or she has been following do not align with ones personal needs and interests. In the
crossroads phase, people start evaluating the path theyve been following and taking different
steps to create a path that follows their newly discovered beliefs, values, and lifestyle. I hit a
crossroad in my life after taking my RAs advice and becoming a student leader on campus
through Hall Council. In the meantime, like many college freshmen, I dove into a relationship
with an older student, whom of course I assumed had his life on track and would be my future
husband.
During my sophomore year, Ryan and Is relationship went down a sexually and
emotionally abusive road where my self-confidence and values went to the wayside. I clung onto
the unhealthy romantic relationship in my life instead of the healthy friendships I had established
with my freshman year roommates and Hall Council friends. At the time, I did not realize it, but
after later reflection, I know that I took all of the negativity in my personal life and let it motivate
me professionally. As I furthered my involvement through Residence Life on campus, I became
more passionate and experienced outside of the classroom than I was inside of the classroom
while studying English with a Secondary Education concentration. I attended leadership
conferences and ran for Hall Council President with intentions to make positive changes for the
complex I was living in and CMUs campus as a whole. Ryan still sat in my life, unsupportive of
my professional development and successes on campus. This is when I realized that the priorities
in my life were not matching up with my actions and values. The two roads coming from the left
and right sides of the page on my concept map represent the two very different options I had in
front of me at this time in my life.

A BLOSSOMING FLOWER ON THE PATH TO SELF-AUTHORSHIP

Becoming the Author of Ones Life

The third phase in the path to self-authorship focuses on determining ones belief system,
values, and way of life. In my concept map, I define the outcome of my crossroad phase through
a quote by Robert Frost from his poem The Road Not Taken, which states, Two roads
diverged in a wood, and II took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
This quote represents the beginning of me becoming the author of my own life.
I chose to end my relationship with Ryan as well as drop the Secondary Education
concentration aspect of my English major. This is shown with a broken heart above the crossroad
on my concept map. I continued my involvements through Residence Life, making an impact in
several areas on campus and serving in a variety of capacities. This is shown through a list of the
halls I served on Hall Council Executive Boards and in paraprofessional leadership roles
throughout my time at CMU, a gavel to represent my student government involvement, as well
as the Residence Hall Assembly (RHA) logo, which I redesigned during my term as RHA
president. Through serving in a multitude of leadership capacities on campus, I gained many
skills, including, but not limited to communication, advising, leadership, and critical thinking.
The diverse range of experiences I had made me more self-aware and helped me figure out what
I valued in leaders, followers, friends, and mentors. This is shown in my concept map through
the light bulb, which radiates the aforementioned skills I gained.
While I was busy fine-tuning my professional side and preparing for my future career in
Student Affairs, I fell head-over-heels in love with someone who helps balance me out. My
current partner, Chris, had experienced his own crossroad that led him to personally developing
himself and facing those deeper issues of the heart. I had not been in a serious relationship since
dating Ryan, and had masked the pain with professional development and involvement as well as

A BLOSSOMING FLOWER ON THE PATH TO SELF-AUTHORSHIP

figuring out my future career plans. Chris helped me overcome my insecurities and pain from the
past by encouraging me to face the issues I buried after ending things with Ryan. He has also
helped me build my self-confidence up from the ground that it had been knocked down to in my
past relationship. This process was huge in my self-discovery and phase of becoming the author
of my life, as it allowed me to get in touch with a side of myself I was not comfortable facing in
the past. This is represented in my concept map through a bridge built over rocky waters of
insecurities, self-confidence, and my past. On the bridge, stand a man and woman holding hands,
which represent Chris and I united through thick and thin.
Internal Foundation
In the fourth, and final, phase of Baxter Magoldas path to self-authorship, ones life is
grounded in their strong belief system and mutuality of relationships. The internal foundation
phase is a content phase in ones life, where he or she knows that the path he or she is taking is
right and reflecting the needs and interests of ones life. After going through a lot of selfdiscovery through the first three phases on my path to self-authorship, I felt content when
searching for a graduate assistantship outside of the state of Michigan, where I had lived all my
life. Although I was comfortable in Michigan, surrounded by friends and family, I knew it was
time for a change of pace. Things fell into place almost perfectly for me to move to Northern
Illinois University (NIU) and start my career as a Student Affairs practitioner as the Graduate
Assistant for Leadership Development in the Housing & Dining Department. This is shown in
my concept map through the Michigan and Illinois map outlines, NIU logo, and student affairs
words written close to the states. The support of my friends, family, and Chris helped make my
transition smooth and reassured me that this was a big step in the right direction for my life.

A BLOSSOMING FLOWER ON THE PATH TO SELF-AUTHORSHIP

Application
Overall, I highly enjoyed reflecting on my emerging-adult, developmental years and
relating my experiences to Baxter Magoldas Theory of Self-Authorship. The reflection and
analyzing Ive done to help me further understand my own life will in-turn help me guide the
students I work with today and in the future to understand their lives. I use aspects of my
crossroad as an example when coaching students through difficult decisions, serving as an
empathetic example to show them that bumps in the road will work out and help guide them in
the right direction. As an advisor of a student organization made up of primarily freshman, I can
use my knowledge and understanding of the Theory of Self-Authorship to identify where
students are at when coming into the organization and help guide them appropriately through the
four phases on the path to self-authorship. I can do this by asking questions that will encourage
and instill a critical thinking mindset in students from the start, helping them think deeply about
the decisions theyre making in life.
The flower that is blossomed on my concept map represents the person I have become
through the ups and downs of the four phases of my path to self-authorship. I know that in my
future, I will go through these phases again when new experiences and paths arrive knocking at
my door, which is why there is a grassy space next to the first flower in my life. I hope to
blossom into a flower in each chapter of my life as well as help others blossom into flowers
through their path to self-authorship.