Pearson

Amber Pearson
Michael Peterson, Instructor
Marriage & Family Relationships,
Marriage in Society and Individual Perspective: Essay 1 Are You Ready
14 March 2016
OPTION D: ARE YOU READY?
Suppose your 21 year old child or best friend came to you and asked the question, "How do
you know if you are ready for marriage?" How would you respond? If it will help, you
may interview two other people and list their answers in your paper. As you consider the
factors predicting marital success, look at your own past relationships. What factors, such
as background, personality characteristics, and relationship characteristics, might have
predicted the quality of your relationship? Were any particular characteristics especially
important for you? Why?
INTERVIEW ONE:
I dont know that youre ever really ready for marriage. I interviewed Martha whos single and I
liked what she had to say, Your ready for marriage when you want to give your very best to
each other all the time. I also think it is important to know yourself, what you can and cant live
without. I believe its important to be emotionally mature and stable to be able to work through
problems and the hard times. Your ready when you can put yourself in their shoes and you seek
whats best for them first. Martha goes on to say, Your never ready for marriage you can only
prepare yourself. The reason I say that is you have to know it is the right person and the right
time. Also I think that there are so many things that happen in life that you just have to trust in
god and know it will all work out if it is the right thing. It should be a give and take relationship.
You know you are compatible when the giving and taking are in balance. It is a myth that it has
to be 50/50. Their background matters but its up to you if youre willing to work with each
other. Respect the other person but be able to address problems. Its like a laboratory and you
learn as you go when stuff comes up. Martha age 32
INTERVIEW TWO:
Molly states, three questions Id ask them.
1. Are you financially stable or do you have lots of debt?
2. Can you and the person communicate together?
3. Are you both stable enough to have kids?
Make sure they arent going to head for the hills when there is stormy water. You marry into that
family. Is that what you want your children to be around? Having the same beliefs and religion is
important. Communicate through all the hard things if youre serious about spending a lifetime
with them. Having the other persons best interest at heart. Having the door of communication
open and being there through thick and thin. Make sure you see them in their surroundings at
their home with their parents and siblings and seeing them interact with your family. You should
be completely in love with them. Molly age 56
What factors, such as background, personality characteristics, and relationship
characteristics, might have predicted the quality of your relationship?

I think looking back on my relationships most wouldve failed and or been unhappy. I didnt date
the guys long enough to know if we were compatible. Emotionally I never felt safe or secure
enough to open up to them. Some were more dominate personalities and others not so driven.
Lack of communication and self-expression wouldve been the biggest factor in why the quality
was so poor. My background influenced a lot of why I was so shy, uncomfortable around guys
and why I didnt express myself. I lived with a human time bomb and feared doing something
wrong to not receive love. I didnt posses the good communication skills or know how to handle
conflict.
Were any particular characteristics especially important for you? Why?
Particular characteristics that were especially important for me is those who listen and can put
themselves in your shoes. Patience is another important quality and having them put time and
effort into the relationship. This allowed me to open up. The book says, undesirable traits may
become magnified in marriage because we must live with them in close, unrelenting, and
everyday proximity. (Strong & Cohen, 2014, Ch 8 p. 291). Me not knowing how to handle
conflict and communicate openly about my feelings and emotions wouldve been detrimental to
any relationship.
Work Cited
Strong, Bryan, Christine Devault, and Theodore F. Cohen. The Marriage and Family
Experience: Relationships Changing Society. 12th ed. Wadsworth Pub, 2014. Print.