Steven

Davis
FHS-2400
Unit 4 Chapters 5 & 6
2-18-16

Love Language

I have had some different experiences with how people show love. My wife and I have

been to marriage counseling and taken tests on what our love language is. What we found out
is that almost all of our love languages are different. This has been a major factor in our
marriage because how we give love and more importantly how we perceive one anothers love
is vastly different from our own. This has caused conflict and has been a hard thing for us to
work through as a couple.

Throughout our marriage we have both felt like one of us didnt love the other because

we were not speaking the same love language. Our passion and intimacy had decreased and we
saw this as a crisis (Cohen, Strong, 2014, p. 177). We realized that we where having problems
and started to go to counseling. It really opened up my understanding of how we show each
other love. I guess this could be seen as a light bulb popping up over my head. I now
understand how she shows love and how she wants to be loved. Counseling has helped us
understand one another on a deeper level. It has also helped prevent potential conflicts in our
marriage because of misunderstood or misinterpreted love languages.

Now that my wife and I understand each others love language it was time to use them. I

found out that my wifes love language is touch. I have been making more efforts to touch her
as I pass by her in the hall or just hold her hand in the car while we are driving. She in turn has
been more accepting of my love language which is words of affirmation. When I tell her she is

beautiful instead of denying it she will say thanks or something to that extent. It makes me feel
better when she accepts my love language as I am getting better at providing her with her love
language.

My sons love language is quality time together so I have been spending more time

playing with him. I think that he is feeling out of place because of the new baby and how much
time my wife and I spend with her. He has responded positively to me spending time with him. I
can tell by how he tells me he loves me more and wants to do more stuff together. In fact, I
think that he has the whole summer planed out with all the stuff that we are going to do. I can
also see that he responds to he in a more respectful way when I spend time with him.

I think that understanding love languages and how to interpret someones love language

is vital to a successful relationship. I know that if my wife and I didnt go to marriage counseling
and learn about love languages we probably would not be married today. It takes work and
compromise to make a family work and understanding that we each love one another but
maybe we dont show it all in the same way.

Works Cited
Cohen, B. Strong, T. (2014). The Marriage and Family Experience (Vol. 12). Belmont, California:
Wadsworth.