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REFLECTION OF MY

Reflection of my Life
Michlin Durazo
HD300
December 14, 2014
Dan Beaman

REFLECTION OF MY
Abstract
This paper is a reflection of my personal life in relation to Erik Eriksons theory of eight
Stages of Psychosocial Development. I have detailed how, I believe, I have identified with each
stage from childhood, through adolescence, and into adulthood in order to have developed into
the person I am today. Erikson emphasizes the role of culture and society and the conflicts that

can take place within the ego itself. (McLeod, 2008). This assignment has challenged me to look
back and determine my role within society and to really put thought into my role within my own
culture, as well as others.

Introduction
Erik Erikson viewed human development as a life-long process in by which we encounter
in eight different stages. Each stage is based around a particular age group and it relevance to a
specific basic conflict that must be, for the most part, experienced. These eight stages of
psychosocial development are Trust vs. Mistrust, Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt, Initiative vs.
Guilt, Industry vs. Inferiority, Identity vs. Role Confusion, Intimacy vs. Isolation, Generativity vs.
Stagnation and Ego Identity vs. Despair. At each stage, the individuals development is
influenced by interactions with others and their environment, which forms basic attitudes. Each
successive stage and crisis has a special relation to one of the basic elements of society, and this

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for the simple reason that the human life cycle and mans institutions have evolved together
(Erikson, 1963, p. 250). Within each stage, Erikson has depicted a positive and negative extreme
in experiences as a potential developmental outcome and has recognized that encountering
serious problems within any of these stages may cause a delay in mastering the next stage in
sequence.
During the time of my first reflection assignment, I had no idea how looking back on the
different stages of my life would open my mind up to so many things I never realized about
myself, my upbringing, my family, my parenting style and my views on life in general. The
reflections made me draw conclusions about myself and understand how I became the person I
am today.
Trust vs. Mistrust
The first stage of development is Basic Trust vs. Mistrust, which occurs in infants from birth
through 12-18 months of age. During this stage, an infant is solely dependent on its caregiver to
have all of its needs met for survival. The behaviors of the caregiver will determine the infants
opinion about the rest of the world. An infant that has its basic needs met and feels secure with
love, attention, acceptance, and warmth will develop a sense of basic trust. He will feel protected
and learn that the world is dependable and safe. A caregiver that fails to provide these needs,
neglects, or abuses will cause the child to form opinions of mistrust. The infant will learn
through these negative experiences that the world is unpredictable and unsafe.
Through reflections of my own upbringing, I believe that as an infant I successfully
developed a strong sense of trust. I spoke to my mother about life when I was an infant and I
reminisced through old family photo albums. I know that I was raised by very loving parents
who not only met my basic needs as an infant, but also surrounded me will love, compassion,
laughter and attention. I was exposed to family and friends at a very early age who also
contributed to these positive experiences. I was a very happy child who slept well in my own bed

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at night, and was rarely fussy. I also had a strong bond with our family dog. As I compare the
stage of my life as an infant with what I know about myself today, as an adult, I see such a
correlation. I have always been a very optimistic person that assumes the best in everyone. I am
very trusting, and in my younger years I think I could have been considered gullible at times.
Experiences over the years have taught me that the world is not as good or safe as I once may
have thought. I still feel that trust is very important to live and maintain a happy life, but the
world itself has also evolved into a place where caution must be taken.
Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt
Erik Eriksons 2nd stage of development occurs between the ages of 12/18 months to 3 years.
During this stage of life, children begin to discover the world that surrounds them. They have
already developed their major motor skills and have mastered physical accomplishments, such as
walking, running, jumping and climbing. Children now begin to develop a greater sense of
personal control and independence. As they explore their environment, they begin to learn as
they discover different things. Parents that are encouraging and have patience with their children
will help to enhance the childs physical and mental abilities. When they are given
encouragement to try to do tasks on their own, it will lead to the development of a sense of
autonomy. Children will want to try new things with a secure sense of confidence. Parents that
prevent their children from acting independently, or ridicule and shame them will cause the
children to develop a sense of self-doubt, inadequacy and helplessness.
As I researched and read on this stage of Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt, I couldnt help but
want to call up my mother and tell her thank you. She may not have realized it at the time, but
she did a great job raising me. I was potty trained by 19 months, and I have numerous pictures in
the old family album of me in my highchair covered in spaghetti or cereal. My mother has told
me stories of some of the crazy outfits I would choose to wear some days. She says I loved to get
myself dressed, although I didnt always choose my outfits. I had an easy-going personality and I

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know now that I can contribute that back to the enormous amounts of patience that both my
mother and father showed me. I believe that I was given a positive balance of autonomy and
shame and doubt during my early childhood. I was encouraged to try to do things on my own and
to be independent, yet I still had boundaries and rules to follow. I had a set bedtime and I had a
daily chore of feeding the family dog. I would consider my parents to be firm, but tolerant and
patient. I feel this balance helped me to develop self-control, self-esteem and determination.
My work experience with preschoolers has exposed me to many different parenting styles.
Most have good intentions and are raising their children in a manner that they see fit. I always
find it amazing though to have their children in my care for the entire day and to know how they
act in my classroom where they have fun and are loved, yet still have boundaries and class rules
to follow. Then the parents come in to pick them up that evening. To hear the conversations of
the parents and children as they are walking out, never ceases to amaze me. There are such
extremes to both ends of the spectrum of autonomy and shame and doubt. Many children have
absolute control over the parents and sometimes will be yelling at their parent as they are
insisting on getting a cookie from the bakery next door or demanding a trip to the park. Some of
these parents have given so much independence to their children that the children are now
running their lives. The other end of the spectrum is the few children that meet their parent at the
door and are so excited to show them the piece of artwork on the wall that they created and the
parent refuses to take the time to look. Every day is a constant lets go rush to get out the door
and no attention is paid to the child. It is always the same scenario for the same couple of
children, and it is a very sad scenario to watch.
I believe that there needs to be a balance between autonomy and shame and doubt. Children
will develop a sense of determination, will power, self confidence and self-esteem. Children need
to learn that they can do things for themselves, even if they at first. They need to have the self-

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confidence and determination to keep on trying. Parents need to be there to encourage them and
assist when necessary, but not to keep them from making mistakes. We learn through our
mistakes and grow from them.
Initiative vs. Guilt
Erik Eriksons 3rd stage of his theory of psychosocial development is Initiative vs. Guilt. This
stage affects preschool age children ages 3 to 5 years old. During this age children start to feel a
need to experiment in their environment, which is accomplished through pretending and makebelieve play. They also become eager for responsibility and need to feel as if they can do things
on their own. The most important event during this stage is independence. It is important that
parents are accepting of their childs initiative and they encourage the children to pursue their
dreams and goals. Quality of purpose is the outcome of successfully completing this stage.
Children will emerge with a sense of ambition. Parents that are constantly punishing or
disapproving of their childs new found independence may cause a sense of doubt and guilt to
develop. As with all of Erik Eriksons developmental stages, there needs to be somewhat of a
balance between the positive and negative outcomes. In order for children to master initiative,
they must learn and accept that their new found independence also warrants boundaries, and that
there are things in life that are not allowed and somethings do warrant punishments.
My reflections of my childhood bring to mind a distinct memory of a time when I took
initiative to do something on my own. I had just turned five years old and had gotten my first
two-wheeled bike for my birthday. My father stayed up late, after my party, putting the training
wheels on my new bike. When I woke up the next morning, I couldnt wait to take it for a ride.
That is, until I saw the bike sitting there with the training wheels on it. I went back in the house
and told my father I wanted the training wheels taken off. I was disappointed and had no
intention of riding it with the training wheels on. My father was a very supportive man and took

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the extra wheels off. I could barely touch the ground with my tip toes when I sat on the seat of
the bike. But I was determined to ride it. My father spent the day encouraging and supporting me
by holding onto the back of the bike and chasing me up and down the street. By the end of that
day, I had learned to ride the bike.
I took the initiative and my father, with his abundance of patience, gave me the
encouragement to succeed. He did not try to discourage me or change my mind to use the
training wheels. He gave me enough assistance to face my challenge and accomplish my task. He
did, however, set boundaries for me to follow. He gave me specific rules as to when and where I
could ride my bike and I always had to wear my helmet. I knew I had to follow these rules or
face the consequences of having my bike taken away.
Industry vs. Inferiority
Erik Eriksons fourth stage of development is referred to as Industry versus Inferiority.
This stage affects the school age child between the ages of 6 to 12 years of age. During this time,
an emphasis is focused on academic performance and developmental growth not only is affected
by home life, but blends into the childs school and social life, as well. Teachers begin to play an
important role in the childs life and peer groups become a major source for the development of
self-esteem. Children are faced with the challenges of performing in school with good results in
order to win the recognition and praise of their parents, teachers and peers. These efforts that are
made towards success in school help to develop the childs positive self-confidence and esteem.
Those who cannot master their school work may feel shameful and inferior, and view themselves
as failures. A strong support group at both home and school is necessary for success in this stage.
Children who are immersed in an environment which fosters creativity and highlights innate
abilities to use developing skills yield a sense of industriousness. (Industry Versus
Inferiority,n.d.). As with all of Eriksons stages, in order for children to master success, they

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need to experience to some degree both ends of the basic conflict. A child that has achieved
success through competence must also have experienced failure in order to learn modesty.
As I reflected back on my own childhood, I recalled my primary school days at Grovecenter
Elementary. I was a tested for and placed in the GATE program in the 4th grade and continued
with honors and AP classes through my graduation from high school. I enjoyed school and the
academic challenges that came with it. I feel I was lucky to have a mother that worked part time
so that she was always home with my sister and I after school. I do not recall her necessarily
helping me with too much of my homework, but I know that she was very supportive and
encouraging. When I was growing up, the rules were to come home from school, have a snack,
and then straight to the table to get any homework or studying done. Once I was finished, then I
could watch TV or play. Homework and studying always came first. My parents knew what I
was capable of and expected me to do my best. I was never paid for good grades on a report card.
Maybe we would go get an ice cream or some treat as a reward, but they were not going to pay
me money to do what I was expected to do. Being a student was my job!
I did very well with my studies and I had a good amount of friends, but I feel I was a bit too
shy to ever be popular. I played sports and was involved in a lot of extracurricular activities. I
was never the all star player, but I held my own and did well enough to compete. I believe that
the manner in which my parents raised me is what kept me modest. They were encouraging and
supportive, but also had high expectations for me. The grade was not as important as the fact that
I gave my best effort in trying.
Now that I am a mother of my own, I find myself to be very much like my mother. I have
taught my own children to do their homework as soon as they come home from school, and I
expect them to take their classes seriously and to do their best. My children are now in college,
high school and middle school, and they are all honor roll students. I have never paid them for

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good grades, but I make sure they have love, support and encouragement in everything that they
do so that they may continue to be confident and successful students.
Identity vs. Role Confusion
Identity vs. Role Confusion is the 5th stage of Eriksons theory of development. This stage
takes place between the ages of 12 to 18 years old, as children begin transitioning into adults.
Individuals start to develop a desire for belonging and acceptance by society, which is why this
stage directly relates to the importance of peer groups. They also begin to focus on future goals,
such as relationships, families, and career choices. They are in search of a personal identity and
self-understanding.
As I reflected back to my high school years, it was interesting to compare the differences
between my younger sister and I, who are two years apart in age. We each had our own peer
groups that we associated with. My sister hung out with the football players and cheer leaders,
attended all of the school dances and sporting events, and snuck out on the weekends to attend
house parties hosted by fellow classmates. I, on the other hand, hated the school events and much
preferred to go with my friends to see my favorite bands play at small clubs in Hollywood or
shop on Melrose. I remember it was the end of summer one year and my mom had given my
sister and I each money to go clothes shopping for the new school year. My mom dropped my
sister off at the mall with her friends. I was older and could drive, so I went and picked up a
couple of my friends from their homes and we all headed off to do some shopping at our favorite
thrift stores. That is where we found all of the cool kind of clothes that we liked. My sister and
her friends wouldnt be caught dead in a thrift store and my friends wouldnt ever dare wear the
mall clothes. My sisters peer group was mainly girls, and whatever boys they were dating at
the time. My peer group consisted of males and females, some of which attended my high school
and others that did not. Not boyfriends and girlfriends, just a group of great friends. They had
hair of many colorsblack, white, red, blue and green, in a variety of funky styles, had similar

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tastes in music, and clothes. This is the group that gave me a sense of belonging. This group was
my family.
Although I associated myself as part of the peer group I hung out with, I still continued to
remain true to myself as an individual. My grades had always been very important to me and I
made sure I always kept them up to my own high standards. I graduated mid-term of my senior
year and at 17 years old, I held two jobs. School was not important to many of my friends and
grades were not a concern of theirs. I had grown up attending a Christian church and although
many of my friends had different or no belief system, I remained true to my own beliefs. I was
also not one to be tempted with drugs and alcohol. I had friends who had their own addictive
problems, but they knew I would not be coerced into that world.
This peer group of mine was very important to me and most of us are still good friends that
get together from time to time, even 30 years later. Ive always tried to teach my own children
that they should never judge a book by its cover. You always need to get to know someone before
passing a judgment. I once was that crowd that got those not-so-nice looks from adults while I
was growing up.
Intimacy vs. Isolation
Erik Eriksons 6th stage of psychosocial development is Intimacy versus Isolation. This
stage takes place in adults between the ages of 19 to 40 years old. The focus of this stage is the
ability to experience love and enduring strong relationships with other people. Studies have
demonstrated that those with a poor sense of self tend to have less committed relationships and
are more likely to suffer emotional isolation, loneliness, and depression (Cherry). This is an
example of how the outcome of each stage affects the next.
When I reflect back to my past, I have such wonderful memories of the group of friends that I
loved as dearly as my own family. We were like brothers and sisters to each other. I had
committed relationships with men I dated during these years as well, but I didnt date the males
in this particular close group of friends. It was a different type of bond that we all had with one

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another. As time went on, life took us all in different directions. Some of us, here and there, kept
in touch with others. Life took me in the direction towards meeting my husband, whom Ive now
been married to for 20 years. My commitment to my husband has withstood the test of time.
Weve had our share of good and bad times, but have managed to work through our differences
and our bond has grown stronger over the years as a result. We have 3 wonderful teenage
children that keep our home full of excitement and energy.
As for that group of friends that I considered my brothers and sistersit has been over 26
years and the group is still close. We all live in different cities now. Some of us are married,
others are not. But we are all just a phone call away. We make it a point to get together at least 3
to 4 times a year, and when we are together, it is as if no time has passed at all.
Generativity vs. Stagnation
The 7th stage of Eriksons theory of development is Generativity versus Stagnation. This
stage is relevant during middle adulthood, ranging from 40 to 65 years in age. The main focus
during this time is Care, in which a persons focus is not only on socially valued work and
family, but also a concern for guiding future generations. Generativity allows a person to actively
pursue their desires to make changes in the world and to make a difference in the lives of others.
I found this stage to be very interesting and so fitting for this current time in my life. Up until
now, I never realized my desires and actions were a typical reaction for my stage in life.
Obviously, my family, which includes my husband, a daughter, and 2 sons, are still my primary
concern, every minute of every day, but last year I also had a strong desire to do volunteer work.
I had taken a child development class a couple years ago and had researched the topic of teen
homelessness. The subject hit me like a ton of bricks and I knew this was an area I needed to put
my attentions toward. We moved to the San Diego area at the beginning of this summer and I
immediately started searching for a resource to volunteer my time. I found an outreach program
called Stand Up For Kids which services homeless and street teens up to 22 years old. This

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outreach is 100% volunteer and donation operated. They provide homeless and street teens with
a shower, change of clothes, hot meal and a place to relax and be a kid for a few hours every
evening before they have to hit the streets for the night. Most of these kids are tough and
extremely guarded. Many times it is a very thankless job, but to know that I could make a small
difference in one kids life, if even just for a moment.
Ego Identity vs. Despair
th
The 8 and final stage of Eriksons theory of development is Ego Identity versus Despair. This
stage usually begins in elder adults age 65 and older. The main focus is acceptance of ones
whole life and the ability to reflect on that life in a positive manner. One must be able to feel that
their life was worth living ad also be acceptant of inevitable reality of death.
For this stage I interviewed a 71-year-old woman who is very close within my family. I can
undoubtedly state the she has embraced the ego identity range of this stage. I want to be as good
as I can be and look forward to all that comes (Wilding, personal interview, 2014). She is
accepting of the inevitability of death and says she knows she will be going to Heaven when the
time comes. She is satisfied with her current life situation and lives to be around and help out her
grandchildren. She takes life one day at a time and wants to remind everyone to always take the
time to laugh along the way. (Wilding, 2014).
Conclusion
The more you know yourself, the more patience you have for what you see in others.
-Erik Erikson
My research and reflections taught me a great deal about myself, but even more importantly it
taught me about human development as it relates to not only myself, but to others. Although we
are all unique and special in our own ways, there is also many ways in which we are similar. Our
past experiences help to shape our future, although our environment and acquaintances we meet
along the way also play a big part in our development. Individual life is coincidence of but one
life cycle with but one segment of history (PowerPoint W7, slide 2).

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References
Erikson, J.M. (1988). Wisdom and the Senses: The way of creativity. New York: W.W. Norton &
Co.
Erikson, E. (1963). Eight ages of man. In Childhood and Society. New York: W.W. Norton & Co.
Gardener, H. (2006). Multiple Intelligences. New York: Basic Books.
McLeod, S. (2008). Erik Erikson
www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Eriksn.html.
Mena, J. (2008). Perceiving and responding to differences. Diversity in Early Childcare and
Education; Honoring the Differences. Boston: McGraw-Hill.
Pacific Oaks College. (2014). E. Erikson's Theory of Psychosocial Development. Handout W1
Identity vs. Confusion: Fifth Stage of Psychosocial Development. (n.d.).
http://psychology.about.com/od/psychosocialtheories/a/identity-versus-confusion.htm
Stage 3: Locomotor. (n.d.). http://web.cortland.edu/andersmd/ERIK/stage3.HTML