Correcting the Cycle

By Scott Dollen

This Book is dedicated to my mother, whose patience is, and was, greatly appreciated.

It started in 7th grade for Elliott. He was smart, he was precocious,

and a little bit odd. He loved Lord of the Rings, all things medieval,
and he pored through entire Harry Potter books in less than 24 hours.
He was solitary, but never to the point of being unhealthy. He never
acted out. He never struggled in school.
Then, Ms. Cross entered his life. It was her first 7th grade classroom.
She was newly married, with a fat ring on her finger that indicated
her husband would be supporting the family, and that she probably
viewed teaching as something to take up time until he returned home
from his finance job. She had a confident cast coast air about her, but
none of the prerequisite knowledge to back it up. Elliott knew he
would hate her from the moment she stepped foot in the classroom,
and she seemed to feel the very same.

The control she had over the classroom felt desperate, like a WWII
era fascist dictator on his way out of power. Dissent would not be
tolerated. The class would revolve around her interests and her
schedule.

Elliott felt it. Daily, he bristled with indignation. The books he so

loved reading were taken away, and replaced with computergenerated timed math worksheets, which he believed were surely of
her own creation (they werent. Rather, they were from the district.
Seventh grade onward was when the real math was slated to begin.
But Elliott assigned malicious intent immediately).
For the first time in Elliots young life, he was forced to complete
something that he didnt like to do, given by someone that he didnt
respect. His academic castle crumbled around him.

The days became a sort of routine for Elliott:

1. The book would be out on the desk.
2. The book would be taken away.
3. Elliots face would turn into a scowl.
4. His heart rate would quicken.
5. He would begin to disrupt class.
6. Ms. Cross would accost him for disrupting class
7. A yelling match would erupt.
8. Elliott would be asked to go outside.
9. Elliott would be given a worksheet.
10. He would refuse to complete it in the time given.
11. He would bring it home.
12. He would act out at home.
13. His mother would accost him for acting out at home.
14. She would ask him to complete the worksheet.
15. He would refuse to even start.
16. Rinse, and repeat. Every. Single. Day.

Elliott didnt know why he was doing these things. Neither did his
parents. Counselors were shocked by his behavior. He had always
been such a diligent student. He had so many passions! How could he
have fallen down this path of academic failure and disinterest?
He was placed in remedial math. 8th grade passed. On to 9th grade.
Then 10th grade. The visible fights at home and at school became less
frequent, but the grades didnt improve. Plus, chemistry and physics
were added into the mix.
At one point during the year, Elliott was urgently called into his
physics teachers office. Elliott, do you realize that we are 5 weeks
into the semester, and you have completed zero assignments in this
class? You literally have a zero in physics right now

Meanwhile, Elliotts scores in other subjects were just fine. It was a

clear departure from the lack of interest that was so obvious in the
STEM subjects.
Elliott was publicly fine with this. I do the things that I like to do,
he would often say. Why try my hardest on something that Im not
interested in?
Privately, he was curious, and a little ashamed. He researched math
learning disabilities, finding no links between his symptoms and math
related issues.
Many of his peers in his lower level math and science classes
suffered from ADHD, but surely he didnt have that. He was smart!
He excelled in other subjects. He could read books easily, quickly,
and was able to focus on things that he liked doing. He couldnt have
ADHD.

The eventual realization didnt come to Elliott like a flood. Rather, it

was a trickle of small introspective moments, like a dripping faucet
slowly filling a bucket.
I wonder why I have so many racing thoughts
Its strange that my heart beats so quickly when Im given a timed
math exercise
My organizational skills are pretty poor
I become really irritated when I know that I will have to do math
Elliott was diagnosed with ADHD within the year.

The shrink (as Elliot called him) was a wiry man, with really small
hands. His name was Dr. Waterhouse. He patiently explained that not
all those with ADHD have trouble focusing on everything. For
subjects that the student is passionate in, attention issues can vanish.
Math and science on the other handwere not those subjects.
Looking back on it all, it definitely made sense: Racing thoughts, his
aversion to time sensitive math work, and the anxiety and acting out
that erupted when he knew he would be faced with the work. His
poor organization skills compounded his struggles.
Math and science notes were impossible to take without the proper
attention and organization. Then, once he got behind, it was simply
easier for Elliott to be lazy than bad.

With his high school math and science career nearly over, and his
time in college about to begin, Elliott focused on coping with this
newfound realization.
He came up with some fundamental tenets about his learning:
His behavior issues arose from his anxiety.
His anxiety surrounding math and science stemmed from a continued
lack of success and disinterest, and a belief that he couldnt be
successful.
His organizational issues contributed to his lack of success.
Finally, his attention problems and racing thoughts added to his
disorganization.
It was a cycle of anxiety, attention issues, and failure.

Addressing even just one of these would hopefully bring about a

change in the way that Elliott handled math and science for the
remainder of his schooling and life.

Per the suggestion of the school counselor, the first step was to
address his note taking and organization style.
Graphic organizers, which gave clear and delineated boxes for
connecting thoughts, would allow him to have scaffolded notes, in
case he fell behind when following along during the lectures.
In addition, audio recording or video recording the lectures for later
viewing would allow Elliott to travel through the lesson at his own
pace, and could view them more slowly.
Finally, taking five minutes after the end of every class, and having
the teacher make sure that he was organized and everything was filed
away and written down, would help him be successful at home.

When it came to anxiety, and his struggles with timed activity, it was
determined that easy and visible access to a clock on his desk (or on
his wrist) would help with time management. It provided easy and
clear reminders to stay on task, without the need to turn around to see
the clock.
The anxiety, while there was no guarantee that it would go away
easily, could be helped with success in math and science, and if that
didnt come quickly, Elliott began practicing mindfulness exercises.
Every day before school he would mentally prepare for math class
before it began. He resolved to experience any unpleasantness early,
and instead of fretting or distracting himself from the task at hand, he
could instead get to work immediately once the work was presented
to him.

Elliotts senior year of math was solid, for the first time in his life.
Although he never excelled in class, with a concerted effort on using
the above strategies, he managed to pull a respectable B.
In college, it was even better. The ability to choose a math class that
he wanted to pursue gave him the added drive to push through any
focus issues and anxiety that might slip through the cracks in the
strategies. He received his very first A in a math class at 20 years old.
When he used to look back at his 7th grade experience with Ms.
Cross, Elliott would blame her for the beginning of his failures.
Seeing that A in the gradebook, and knowing the things that he knew
now about his learning, Elliott knew it was within him all along to be
successful, and he knew he could continue to be successful for the
rest of his life.